forecheck

Over the webcam while the girl who is watching tells me how she wants me to grab the back of her head and whip the precum on her lips so they are all shiny. Then stick it into her mouth and push it...

In the next week or so I will go over to her house and watch her while she reciprocates...

iceburn

I thought someone was asking because they didn't know how to do it... I was like "how the fuck do you need to ask that shit...." um yea. I'm still confused about why that guy needed to jizz into a cup "so his mom wouldn't find out". That actually is nonsense. How is jacking off into a cup MORE discreet than into a kleenex or paper towel. What's going on here?

And also I'm freaked by anyone sticking anything near my ass. It's got to do with being tickle-tortured as a child, I naturally freak when my gf's hands touch anything below the balls (Not that my parents tickle-tortured my balls...whatever) . My body convulses violently. It's embarrassing.

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... and shit.

fatboss

As fast as possible so nobody walks into our bedroom and catches me!!!!

I find a copy of Men Only or Club International helps.

Years ago I had to rely on raiding my younger Brothers stash of mags because I didn't have the guts to go and buy them. These days I don't give a shit!

Oh, and into anything I can find in the dirty laundry basket is good to deposit my goods!

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"never mind that shit........here comes Mongo!"

LordEden

Porn... lots of porn. I spend to much time finding new porn it's not even funny. Oh and I use my hand and toliet paper.
I've had friends who have done it in the dorm showers, but I couldn't bring myself to do it, I'll just jack off in my own room, fuck the roommate. Not really, but I wouldn't care if he was there.

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Vice-President of the CinnamonGirl Fan Club - The Meat of the Zombiesquirrel and CinnamonGirl Sandwich

runawayfetus

yea... pretty much exact same thing goes for me ^^

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im a huge movie goer....

beejay

Quite often in the shower (ala American Beauty), but also frequently at the computer (I have also learned to keep the mouse in the right hand and take care of business with the left!)

Also like to have mutual masturbation sessions with the wife. She REALLY gets turned on watching me. We never make it to solo happy endings as she always jumps on top of me and rides me until I scream (& cream)!

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Pimps and Ho's - it's this generation's cowboys and indians

emphant

Anyone ever just go on their hand, then just take off their sock and wipe it there?

No one? Uhh....me neither then.

Oh, and how do those artificial vaginas works? Or what about blowup dolls? Always been curious, never found out.

jazzwyld

Baby Oil or Hand Lotion, in my inverted right hand. I just put a towel down

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You keep searching, but what you're looking for is inside.

Forget about who you thought you were, and accept who you are.

mr.montreal

i pin my penis between my legs, like if im trying to tuck away my penis (guys would know what i mean)....i apply some lube to my inner thighs, and lay in the fetul position, while i move my legs toward and against me very quickly.

ARTelevision

I always mastubate with the girls and never, ever, do it alone.
That would be no fun at all.

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create evolution

Jim Kata

You, my friend, are a genius! HAHAHAHAHAHHA

HYEHORSE

as little as possible. but sometimes, a man's got to do what a man's got to do.

runawayfetus

interesting technique... hah id feel very awkward trying it

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im a huge movie goer....

RoboBlaster

It would be absolutely ego crushing to be caught spazzing naked in the fetal position.

cait987

May sound crazy, but just now I did it with a banana, not sure where I got the idea but I have a broken wrist and was desperate so I go upstairs looking for something and see a banana, ate some of it and then cut some out, taped it a few times heated for 15 seconds and well ... best mastrabation ever, well acctaully its the best because it was the most odd, hands get old after a while!

ritzboi

Towel, toilet, shower.. wherever I can aim..

Evil Milkman

God... I can't even begin to imagine! I wouldn't be able to look whoever caught me in the eye again!

Shady

i gave up masturbation for Lent...

i hope i don't die.

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Only Dre can judge me for the mistakes I'm makin, if I'm fakin I'm Clay Aiken.

runawayfetus

i hate bananas.. i barf when i eat them... if i put one on my penis id cry and never go into the public again

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im a huge movie goer....

water_boy1999

Anyone ever tried a cantaloupe or honeydew melon......Holy shit it feels like the real thing, and cheaper in some cases. Ok, that's only on special occasions.

Regularly just pop in some hardcore porn, two times a day usually. DVD is the best because you can get right to the good stuff without the ridiculous dialogue.

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Doh!!!!


-Homer Simpson

Slacks_01

i use a napkin, one hand, and lots of imagination

mastboyx

with my haand

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Ignorance Is Bliss

Skettios

With my hand. I like to alternate days, I can hardly ever wait more than three or four days, or I walk around permanently erect.

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Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies.

Frederich Nietzsche

Mantus

Warm up with the left, finish with the right, thank you.

Cant stand the shower, my cum turns very sticky the moment water touches it, then for some reason cum+water+soap make my head really really sensitive which causes further problem...so no shower for me.

dfence

furiously

santafe5000

BANANA MAN
Simply peel a banana (you can eat it later), slip the peel over your penis, and masturbate with it. The banana slime is a great lubricant. You can warm up the peel in the microwave for added sensations. Also, you might have better results if you peel the banana by making just one cut in the peel and removing the fruit through the single cut; you can then cut off the end of the banana peel and insert your penis through that end.


Now, I haven't tried this myself, But it does sound interesting.
Myself, i just use the ol HAND METHOD into a wad of Kleenex.

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When all else fails, QUIT.

zfleebin

with zest and determination

paulskinback

You know, you're all soaped up and slippery and wet, you got to clean it properly haven't you?

Question is, how many of you wank in the shower?



I do... but not every time

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'Everything that can be invented has been invented.- - 1899, Charles Duell, U.S. Office of Patents.

'There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.' - Ken Olson, 1977, Digital Equipment Corporation

Axiom_e

Well, I masturbate once a night. It helps me go to sleep. I rather masturbate in my room then in the shower. I don't come as hard in the shower the orgasms are much more intense when I am in my bed. The orgasms I have been haveing recently are much more intense then any I have had. That or either I forgot what it is like to be with a girl. But hey if I forget then there isn't as much desire to get a female.

This is critical. Buy lube and use it to masterbate. Soap dries you and even with lotion you can still chafe yourself. Chafing sucks. Buy lube it is the greatest stuff in existence. Buy lube! Trust me it will change your sex life even if you are getting it regularly.

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Life is meaningless.
How awesome is that?
Rock On! Now I can do whatever the hell I want
and give my own life meaning to myself.

boredom

Using right or left hand (raising dexterity!)

some hotel tissue

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Wiggum: Find anything this time, boys?
Cop: Uh, no sign of him, Chief.
Wiggum: Princess Opal?
Opal: I see nothing here, but I'm afraid it's splitsville for Delta
Burke and Major Dad.
Wiggum: But they seem so happy!
-- ``Bart the Murderer''

black94lt1

Into the bathroom sink while "reading" one of the finer publications in my possession!

ruggerp11

"by myself"

Had too

I read somewhere once someone who said

"I jerk off in the shower so much that every time it rains I get a hard on"

Totally me

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Patriotism means being loyal to your country all the time and to its government when it deserves it.
--Mark Twain
Do What makes you happy
--Me
BUT!
"Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness" - Chuang-Tzu

oberon

Cue the "Every Sperm Is Sacred" song...

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"There are finer fish in the sea than have ever been caught." -- Irish proverb

Suave

Hahaha. That's fantublous.

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"Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions." - Albert Einstein

"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something." - Plato

mandy

well, this is really strange.because i've reading through all of these two pages and not once did i see a GIRL comenting or giving her take on masturbation or how she does it.

ok, so its very hard for us to squirt but its still as much fun and sometimes we end up having some of our most powerful orgasms when we do it alone.

it was much fun reading how all you guys do it but none of you talk about "doing it" with a partner which is ten times more fun than doing it alone.to listen to the breathing of the other person(in that i'm talking about 2partners, not some random person, that would just be wierd and totally disgusting).and just listening to them pleasure themselves is enough to send you straight over the edge.

and in saying that, firstly i never used to masturbate until i met my bf(about two years ago)now...i cant imagine that i never used to do it before because its absolutely amazing.and doing it with him there makes it soooooooooooooo much better.

secondly, when he and i maturbate together, i like it when he just cums, nothing there(as in no toilet paper, no tissues)and i just use my hand to "catch it".then i'll go and get a nice warm face cloth to clean us both up.

Cedak

Sometimes while watching porn, sometimes lying down. Lying down is the easiest for me to come, followed by sitting, standing up can be very difficult at times, but the orgasm is often VERY intense. Sometimes actually better-intense, sometimes just different-intense. Sometimes in the shower, standing up of course, it can take me like a half hour...it's annoying, because the water gets cold, and my arms get tired. Oh yeah, I used to always use righty, I learned to use lefty, although he usually can't go as fast.

And as far as dorms go...well, I have done it there, usually late at night. But keep in mind it washes down easily and the bathrooms are scrubbed daily.

Oh, creepy dorm story though. Two showers per bathroom, two bathrooms per gender per floor. The dividers between the showers have gaps at the bottom about a foot tall...one time this guy was like, leaned up against the adjoining wall, so I could see his feet even in my periphreal vision. His feet never moved the entire time he was in the shower. If that wasn't enough, the way the lights above were positioned projected a faint shadow onto my side. Gee, what's that rectangular object rhymically moving back and forth? You could SO tell he was jerkin'. Man, not with another dude showering next to you!

slushi999

used to do squirt in a toilet paper, but after i clean up around the tip with the tissue paper, i notice that some of the tissue paper stays on underneath the tip of my penis after a few days when folding the skin back, why is this, when after cleanup - i dont see anything? and is this unhealthy - like i forget to check? maybe i should start using a towel - but really wanna keep things clean and easy to deal with

drewpy

with dermalogic shaving oil, during the daily shower shave sac attak ... its actually a moisturizing program - my skin so supple afterwards

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"Once made equal to a man, woman becomes his superior." Socrates

M0oMo0Man

You take a cold shower...

Luckless

with good ol' lefty