Zorvox

Hi all,

Just wanted some advice on something..

It does, and doesn't fit here... but I will post it, if it doesn't belong here.. delete it or what not.

I was with a girl last year, for a few months.. I grew to love her.. very strongly, it was actually scaring me how deep I felt for her sort of.

Anyway, we broke up.. it was a real pisser of a break up, with alot of things being said... then NOTHING.

She ended up falling pregnant to me and all that wumble jumble.

Anyway, a "mate/friend" of mine, who is the I.T. Administrator at my College told me that he had been seeing her and kissed her and was taking her out all that sort of stuff yeah..

Anyway, we talked and sorted things out, he said that after the abortion (which he was going to take her there and pay for it yada yada) that he wouldn't see her anymore, but it was okay for him to talk to her, because he valued our mateship.

He cried that night, balled his eyes out, and I guess in a way.. I sort of fell for it? - I said to him man you can fix things it'll all be okay bro just do this do that.. (as other ppl knew and they were seriously pissed off with him)..

Anyway, he lied.. he kept seeing her, took her to a concert - and doesn't talk to me anymore..

For ages I was fuming with anger and just over all being extremely pissed off... many people told me that we would go and bash him and all that sort of thing... but I didn't do it.

Anyway.... I am attending College this year again for my last year.. and he is there, I don't want to face him.. although I would have to punch him in the face or something .. I don't want to see his pathetic sorry little arse.

He had a sexual relationship with a student there last year.. and it is obviously against school policy..

I would seriously love to bring it up with the principal and get him fired.. and I am seriously thinking of doing it or not.

I would love revenge against this piece of shit, and not only that it would allow me to do alot better this year I guess, not having to think that at any time I could walk around the corner and I could see him.

Question is, what do you think? Should I? or is it too harsh or what?

I guess basically, it is over the girl.. in a way, but more of a you lied to me so you'll pay or something..

Blah!!!!! I dunno what to do, and after typing all that I don't think it belongs here... but oh well

/me clicks "Submit New Thread"

arch13

One little line:

Let it go.

Seriously. Not worth your time. Be civil when needed, don't speak to him otherwise, and work on getting over this girl since you have some residual feeling obviously.

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kulrblind

An interesting situation you have there, Zorvox; one i'm sorry to hear is messing you up.

Maybe you've done this already, but have you thought about the real reason you seek "revenge"? Is it because you feel betrayed (he did lie to you), or because you're concerned that his presence could further complicate your life at school? Have you considered the possibility that even without him at school, the betrayal and anger you feel towards this guy could still hang around?

I feel a little odd venturing advice here, so I'll leave it at that. Maybe others will raise questions for you to answer, making your decision and your future actions clear. I had a situation where I felt horribly betrayed by a girl (now an ex) and a best friend (now an ex-best friend), ... it would probably sound cliché if I described it, but suffice it to say that time and distance has healed those wounds. Maybe you can salvage a relationship of some sort with the girl, but the more personal distance you shove between you and the guy, the better. Ha... and here comes the advice. Good luck, and much strength.

Zorvox

Well, I have not seem him since we had that talk..

Which was when.. hmm, mid november or something like that.

Hmm, I am meant to be studying really hard this year, as I have hard and challenging subjects, such as sociology and psychology...

I hate him, I don't hate her.. even though she has done most of the pain (cos she could not see him too - and she knew EXACTLY how I felt, she denied doing wrong at all and all that)... it would help if he wasn't there, and I would feel so much at ease knowing that I got the last laugh in...

Ever since it has happend, nothing good has come from it - it's just been blow after blow, betrayel by both people, both of them lying and going behind my back blah blah.

I have no proof that he did it, but I can get people who will stick up for me and vouch for me etc...

I would so love to just get him fired and laugh so hard in his face and flip him off and tell him to get fucked..

Over all, I am a pleasent person... but I feel like losing control over this lol.. I just want to let loose with all guns blazing.

He will be out of the state when we return (2 more days) I am thinking that if I can piss him off then, then he will come back to no job or something.

Thing is, he's gone to see KoRn, Fear Factory and Static-X... perhaps he's taken her with him too... I was meant to be going with him, but he doesn't talk to me anymore etc...

It comes across that they see me as the person in the WRONG and the PROBLEM and the person that was in the way of EVERYONES HAPPINESS, I see pics of her, and know that he is there somewhere (cos taken from his place, or his car - or one of his friends places)... it get's to me... he did the whole good guy thing and went way out of his way to see her and take her out and all that..

I can't stand it, I have felt like killing him sometimes (although I never will:P) - he lives about a 15min walk from where I am, I have felt like walking up there knocking on his door and punching him in the nose.. I don't know.. any revenge would be great - him losing his job would get him out of my way and give me the last laugh.. I would love it.

I just don't know if it's called for or not.. I mean, they have been selfish (obviously)... so maybe It's my time???

I have bitten time up until now... knowing that my turn would come... and then the idea of that came into my head and straight away I thought WOOHOO!!! I can bring him down.

meh

Zorvox

Oh... p.s., she won't speak to me AT ALL... even though as much as I have tried.

I had bought her early xmas presents.. like $500 worth of stuff (I hid em at a mates place cos i knew i woulda given em to her).. I ended up standing in town and handing em out to random people... damn that felt good.

And I did all that because a friend of hers on the internet said to a mate of mine that me talking to her etc "was all a plan to get her back, I was planting seeds.." a big load of shit, really.. I understood that things didn't work out and all that, but just friends would of worked..

She won't speak to me, I am immature, really bad, pathetic, a liar, not worth her time.. she laughs whenver she thinks about the things I said to her the things I was going to buy or do etc..

That shit hurts, she basically made me feel like nothing telling me that he is "twice the man I am"... if he's twice the man I am, why is he going out with a girl 5 years younger than him? and doing shit to his friends??

PEOPLE CONFUSE ME SO BADLY AND SHIT ME TO TEARS!!!

I want to pull out all my hair

xim

Sorry to be so blunt but this is just my style.

Here is why she thinks your are a 'no good shit'. You think she is still yours after you have broken up. She has moved on. You should do it to. The thing about 'you lied to me so youll pay' is a blatant excuse to be possesive where you have no right to be.

Incidentally I work in IT as a student worker at my community college, and I DO happen to have access to a few accounts named 'Administrator'. So do you think I should break up with my gf who goes to school here? Should I drive to the other college 50 miles away to find a new gf? Its not like he is her teacher and controls grades or something. Now I am not saying he isn't an asshole because I dont know him, but she is obviously trying to get under your skin.

The best thing you can do is say FUCK IT and stop thinking about both of them. This will help you move on of course but mainly it will show her that you dont DESPERATLY NEED her and if she is like most girls it will make her shit her pants.


Im not trying to be mean, but I know how it is to be confused from something like this (from overthinking it) and thought you would need some input.

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tecoyah

Blow the whole thing off....any action you take will serve no constructive purpose whatsoever. And will likely just perpetuate the negative feeligs you already have.

Why sink to a lower level, as you are obviously above it, or you would not be asking for advice.

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Strange Famous

I really dont see how you can find any cause to be angry with anyone but yourself in that situation.

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Mephex

Well I certainly don't agree with that. Don't take the anger inward, or you'll develop more serious issues.


Really, it's so hard to get past your emotions at times. In retrospect, you may look upon this situation and get a sour taste in your mouth, but that's it. Focus on forgetting. Think about how you were before all this happened, before you met these people.

There are millions of people out there, and you're enabling 2 people to make your life hell. It sounds easier then it really is, but you can do it, and you'll feel a hell of a lot better about it.

Zorvox

Yeah.. I have moved on, I don't care if she talks to me or what anymore.

It's just I wanted to do something back to him so bad for so long, after he made me feel like complete utter shit, I thought to myself not to lose control and do something because something will popup... an opening of some sort where I can get him back.

And it was actually another student who mentioned it to me and said I should do it..

In respect to you Xin: It's fair for you to say what you said - but i'm not thinking about both of them, like I said, I think about her sometimes.. but nothing too seriously... I just like revenge, I want to know that I hurt him back.. because what goes around comes around and I have my chance to do so

I don't care what she does, the main fact that pisses me off is how she ended it all, then went on and did what she did and they still both said that they cared for me or some shit, but still did what they did?

They aren't together, they just see each other shitloads or some crap...

Meh, I don't care what they do.. they could be having their way with one another right now for all I care, but I am serious about it effecting my school work, I don't want to see the low life piece of shit ever again.

lurkette

I have to agree with the folks who have said that you don't really have much to be pissed about - you had broken up, your "claim" to the woman (hate to put it that way) had ended. Sure, he told you one thing and did another, which is shitty, but you seriously need to get over it. Sounds like this is less an issue of stolen love and betrayal than of wounded pride and a good old fashioned pissing contest over a woman. Be the bigger man and just let it go.

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animosity

i agree with lurkette... you have a shitty friend but no reason for getting him fired. but what ever. who am i to tell you what to do...
-life is short, fuck people who tell you how to live it

adia

bust into his room and cop a squat on his pillow.

amonkie

While you may do something in revenge to make yourself feel better, there's always the chance it'll come back to bite you, especially as feelings escalate and logical thinking flies out the window.

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Iliftrocks

Gettin stabbed in the back is tough from a friend, try a brother and a fiance..... Let it go and try not to let it mess you up too bad. Ignore him as best you can....

If it eats you up too bad, just don't get caught by the cops

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moonstrucksoul

rule number 1: Never Fuck with someones livelyhood (meaning their job) you get somebody fired over spite. than you are a lesser man than you think you are.

BTW, did you say that you impregnated her and your 'mate' paid for her abortion?

* this is where I reload, and see if you can dodge another bullet*

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losthellhound

Been in a pretty close situation.. Revenge never works. It'll make you feel better for like five minutes, then you'll feel like crap again...

Sorry it happened to ya though

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sexymama

Yes!

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toxic515

zorvox: what logic leads you to revenge? Does it improve your status or standing in any way, or does it lessen all involved? I have a hard time imagining a positive outcome with revenge at all, it simply isn't logical. Take each scenario to it's logical and honest conclusion, and I do not believe that you can devise one where revenge has any benefit for you at all. The fact is the satisfaction you might feel will be fleeting and based on a childish, and hopefully temporary, action made with anger. Some things in life are not so much problems with solutions as they are facts that must be accepted and worked with. The break-up is a fact. The best revenge is far more satisfying and true, and this is to simply live a happy good life, in spite of the betrayal. Work it out intellectually and you'll soon find yourself apathetic.. which takes a great deal less energy than angry! Why grant either of them your efforts for good or bad?

Life itself presents us with plenty of things to battle, why add another that is unnecessary?

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