Tuna911

Why does my Girl Friend not like me watching porn or going to the strippers?!?

She said its because she think I am thinking of them when we are together!! I don't think there is anyone out there who hasn’t fantasized while they are with there partner! Am I wrong?

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Tuna

Nanz

You should count yourself lucky my gf hates me if i buy FHM, or read a story on page3. Apparently if i find glamour girls/celebs attractive it amounts to the same as me cheating on her

ShaniFaye

I have never understood girls that get their thongs in a bunch over guys watching porn or strippers....The only restriction I ever had was that the entire paycheck was not spent at the bar...Hell I used to get dressed up and go with him until it got to the point where the club would ask me to leave because the patrons would try to solicite lap dances from me because they thought I worked there lol I usually find in talking to other women that dont "allow" that kind of thing that they are very insecure about themselves...Have you tried getting her to go with you to a strip club? My guy always got lots of attention from the strippers if I was the one to go up and tip them for him

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JStrider

both my serious girlfriends in the past were cool with it ... my first one went to a strip club with me a couple times.... and ive watched porn with the other....

i think ShaniFaye is right... the girls that dont like that arnt comfortable with themselves and/or secure in the relationship...

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lucidity

Amen for porn!

Porn can be a useful tool in a relationship. It's a way of communicating desires, no? I don't necessarily think that if a girl isn't into porn that she's insecure. I have some friends who are on the religious front. I know that they do communicate in other ways with their husbands, and that their sex lives are satisfying on their terms.

To each his/her own, really. Personally, I'm a bit edgier in the sex dept.

I have always enjoyed porn. My Master expects me to always share pictures & videos that I enjoy, or that I expect Him to enjoy.

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31Friction

my g/f used to strip and loves going to see them. not to mention likes to watch porn. it's good stuff to have on during sex.

ie. "Hey we should try that one!"

I have actually never dated a girl that didn't appreciate the female form in one way or another. I find girls that freak out if you read playboy (or FHM, maxim, Barely Legal etc etc...) to have some sort of security issues, more-so that others at least. and that's a big turnofff to me.

If she gets mad because she thinks porn or females dressed in sexy clothes is wrong by moral standards, thats different. But if it makes her kinda jealous (for lack of a better word) that's insecure IMO...

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Arsenic7

I've actually read that women tend to fantasize more about being with another partner during sex then do men. I believe the majority of the responses by men in the survey they quoted said something along the lines of "I couldn't perform very well if I was thinking about someone other than who I'm with."

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Confederate

I dated a girl that wanted to watch porn with me, I had never done anything like that, it actually made me uncomfortable

tuffrr

It would seem that some people are confusing the issue between girls liking porn, and girls not wanting their bf's to look at porn. Generally, girls not wanting their bf's to look at porn would be borne from their own personal insecurities. This is much different to not liking it at all which, as hard as it is to believe, some girls just don't. I assume this is because they are not as easily "visually stimulated" than guys.

WarWagon

Maybe you should could suggest the two of you making a porn, and remind her how sexy you think she is?

arch13

That's a known misconception that has been proven wrong by science and psycology. I hope we can keep sterotypes like that off the board here.
Often, women have issues with pornography and sexual stimulation outside of a relationshup borne of insecurities that are based of taught behaviors. Ie: Someone grows up with a sterotype of the cheating male, always looking for their next chance at sexual satisfaction, will attribute such a behaviours as seeking other mates.
Both genders often act this out. Many males are no more comfortable with the idea of their girlfreind going to a stag review on a regualr basis with her girlfreinds. this sadly, is why it is so much harder for male strip clubs to obtain a liscense. because many subconsciously fear their SO finding something more attractive. this is compounded by a common streotype that it's mens natural instinct to seek out sexual symbolism in other women, even when in a relationship. That either are accepted ideas is simply telling of the sad state of gender relations.

No male has a "need" to see other women naked. And any gentalman that claims he "can't help it" or uses any excuse that it's something inherantly part of his gender has large hole in their head. He chooses to.
By this same token, many women are often raised with an idea that any sexual imagery is a threat to their relationship.
In both cases, insecurities lie at the base of these actions.

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*Nikki*

I know I have always been cool with it AS LONG AS it does not get in the way of the real thing.

I had a boyfriend once who was so obsessed with online porn that he would rather sit in front of a computer and j/o then have actual sex with me. It was like any other addiction.

But if porn is viewed in small amounts and does not interfer with real life, I see no problem in it. I think that I look at more then my current boyfriend but I still would rather be with him any day.

tuffrr

Twas not known by me. As far as i knew the theory that men are more visual was still held.

Oh well, you learn something new everyday!

Confederate

that is so wrong

illesturban

I agree also. Not to mention they tend to be no fun! I think a relationship where both people are open about "exploring more venues in sexuality" benefits both parties. I agree that maybe see if she'd be comfortable with you two taping yourselves. Maybe that could open her up to more excitement in the relationship?

ariekitten

i dont' fantasize when i'm with my partner

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SparklingDot

I have no problems with him watching porn. He has no desire to go see random women getting naked. The stripper thing would be difficult for me to deal with.

i second arie... there's no reason to fantisize when i'm with my SO.

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Arsenic7

When I read a lot of the threads here aimed at the female audience I can't help but think how scewed some of the advice is due to the fact that most women simply do not visit web forums, especially those with a very adult atmosphere, such as this one.

The fact is MOST women are insecure about there bodies and sexuality, even if most of those who post here are perfectly fine with their own.

Yeah I know I'm being redundant...just venting. I love my girlfriend very much and she is a sexually open person but she would never come to a site like this.

...[/rant]

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Ace_O_Spades

I know the type, luckily my current girlfriend is very open, we watch porn together, etc

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Feh.

Alyssa

I for one am not into the porn thing, my bf is REALLY into it. I have no problem with him watching/reading porn, I just don't find a whole lot of entertainment value out of it. Maybe I am a little insecure, but his porn has been with him longer than I have, I don't have the energy to make an issue with it. There are more important things going on in our relationship that I need to be concerned with.

CinnamonGirl

Aside from her insecurities, is it getting in the way of your sex life? She wants to have sex, you're going out to a strip club? Maybe that isn't the case, but still something to think about...

Probably not, but if she can sense that, that might be part of the problem. ie, you're watching porn, then go in, turn out the light, and want to get straight to the sex without any real foreplay, no real paying attention to her. Again, maybe not the case, but something to think about.

On the "women aren't visually stimulated the way men are," that may be a stereotype, but it's true for me. I like eye candy as much as the next person, but if given the choice, I'd much rather read erotic fiction.

Anyway, back to the original post, communication is key. Talk to her about it, and let her know she's beautiful, sexy, and you love her. SHOW her these things as well.

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SiN

Not much I can say that hasn't already been said...
..depends on the person, don't let it interfere with sex/relationship, it may just be how she is, etc etc...

One thing tho in addition - do *not* hide this stuff from her, do it behind her back, whatever...unless she agrees beforehand that she'd rather not know.

interesting rant, and if you are right about most women, that's too bad. I guess around here one can start to take for granted that most women are like the ones we have here...but probably not.

See if you can get her interested...we could be good for her

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PDOUBLEOP

Arsenic7

I totally agree with your rant. My wife would never participate in this or any similar forum. For her, porn is a sickness.

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cj22009

I think that most girls/women are just insecure about it NOTICE I said most. for one reason or another

Parker

I use this on a analogy on my wife and it worked well. I consider women like fine works of art. It is something to look at and not touch. She is a art lover, so she had no other direction to go. Besides, agreeing with me. Also, I have no problem if she wanted to go to a see guy strippers.

Arsenic7

Hmmm...on a more serious note: you can try and get your wife to change her opinion about YOUR porn habits but don't expect to get her to go to strip clubs with you and stuff. That's not really what you should be aiming for.

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thedrake

My fiance likes watching porn when we have sex every once in a while, that is when it is goooood!

mick

my fiance loves porn also. more then i, which is ALOT!

Girls are just as much into visual stim as we are. they just need a push sometimes to view something they consider Taboo.

Strange Famous

I went to see some strippers once - but I didnt really enjoy it. I definitely like movies that have hot girls in them although proper hardcore stuff is a bit gynological for my taste.

I think, maybe it is that some girls would rather you spend attention to them and not unrealistic ideals of women - such as you find in strip clubs or porn. I think it can be harmless, and it can be good fun - until you start to mistake it for the real thing.

My ex, which is the last practical example I could give - never cared about me buying FHM, or lusting over Sarah Michelle Gellar or Lisa Faulkner - and I never minded her having celeb crushes - I mean, its on a different level, really. Its not like she was ever going to have a chance with David Borenaz, so I wasnt that jealous.

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smooth_4

I was just watching porn with my girlfriend yesterday.

Unfortunately, girls often get all clinical about it, analyze the acting and the plot and the physics of it too much.

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Super Model

Take your girl to the strip joint next time. She will have a blast My wife never had a problem, and always goes with me when I am in the mood for strip club. We look at porn sometimes, although more at the pic's, since we like to do this kinky stuff also .

Mehoni

Fiction, yes. Porn/strippers, NO.

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Plan9Senior

How old is your girlfriend? Seems odd that she would have a problem with this unless she is immature or has some sort of odd insecurity issues...

Aletheia

My GF likes porn as much as I do, though she beats up my friends when they try to watch it.

jbrooks544

Something has led these women to believe that it is ok to assume that they have the right to try to control their guy's behavior. I probably always kept it hidden when I was dating. If a GF of mine made an issue of it she would either have to become enlightened and stop - or stop being my girlfriend. I only dated very intelligent and enlightened women. The kind that would either not have that attitude to begin with, or not assume to control other's behavior, or one that would be smart enough to listen to reason.

Any guy who gives in to this type of controlling dictitorial attitude is being whipped hard. I would never let myself be whipped like that. So, logically, I would never end up with a woman who was only comfy controlling. It weeds out incompatible people.

taliendo

Maybe you should suggest that you watch porn together, or even go to the strip club with her. This way that, she knows that you're there thinking about being with her - plus, it can lead to a bit of hot sex if she's into trying new things out.

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skysooner

As has been stated above, this is usually because of personal insecurity. My wife had some issues with it in our marriage at first until I explained that it was strictly visual stimulation that kept my sexual side awake. It is sort of like working out a muscle. If you don't use it, it will fatigue. If you exercise, it stays strong.

toxic515

purely insecuruty. I could have sex with a random woman, go to a strip bar, watch porn, whatever, but take my secretary out for lunch more than 2 times in a week, and I think she'd be threatening me... As long as it is nothing that threatens her status as the queen bee around here, it's pretty much cool.

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Captain Canada

My girlfriend is against porn, and I totally respect that. The original poster said something about fantasizing about other people when with your girlfriend....well, I've never done that. Why would I fantasize about someone else?