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Old 02-06-2004, 06:36 PM   #1 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: Raleigh, NC
having sex with fear of pregnancy

So how do you guys and girls who don't have birth control have sex without worrying constantly about pregnancy?
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Old 02-06-2004, 06:46 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Simple answer #1: Don't do it.

Simple answer #2: Buy condoms.
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Old 02-06-2004, 06:49 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Location: Raleigh, NC
Well, I am referring to people who aren't gonna go without, and are of course using condoms.
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Old 02-06-2004, 06:52 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Use birth control....
If you haven't at least tried the pill to see if she has negative reactions then your being irresponsible. Even if one pill causes a negative reaction it is worth shopping around, various pills have different compatibilities.

Condoms are around because they are the quick and easy solution to birth control. Rely on them at your own risk.
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Old 02-06-2004, 06:53 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Birth control is not an option.
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Old 02-06-2004, 06:54 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Digilogic
So how do you guys and girls who don't have birth control have sex without worrying constantly about pregnancy?
Quote:
Originally posted by Digilogic
Well, I am referring to people who aren't gonna go without, and are of course using condoms.
Condoms are a form of birth control. So there's a little confusion about what you're asking exactly.

Is the question something like, "How much peace of mind do you have using condoms as your sole means of birth control?" That's a pretty fair question.

They have a name for people who don't use any form of contraception. That name is "Mom and Dad".
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Old 02-06-2004, 06:56 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Location: Raleigh, NC
Sorry for the confusion, when I said birth control I meant the pill. We ALWAYS use condoms, I am just asking others in my position how you do it without worrying.
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Old 02-06-2004, 07:07 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Whew. I was about to recommend start reading the Parenting forum, because you were going to need it.

If condoms are the only form of birth control you're using, you do need to worry. Condoms do break, and sometimes the seal at the base of the penis isn't as good as it could be and sperm manage to swim around it.

1. You need to add another form of contraceptive. In most places were you can buy condoms you can buy other forms of birth control as well.
2. If only a condom is your only option for some reason, put her on top so that gravity works on your behalf instead of your detriment.
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Old 02-06-2004, 07:15 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Location: Raleigh, NC
Well, we always use condoms, and I always pull out before I come. And I actually usually do a fairly good check of the condom afterwards.
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Old 02-06-2004, 08:52 PM   #10 (permalink)
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We only use condoms as well as any form of BC makes her really mean. We really don't worry too much, usually only if she's late. That being said, in the past 5 months she's been late twice so take that as you will. I've yet to have a condom break however, so at least that's in my favor.
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Old 02-06-2004, 09:15 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Get the BC shot for chrisake. it's 25.00 at planned parenthood, they will not tell anyone that she recieved it, even parents as they respect privacy. And most of all, it lasts 6 months and does not have the side affects of orally taken BC.
Gambling with your life should not be option. And if you don't us BC, you are gambling with your life. A life of chanfing diapers and the average 1 milllio it costs to raise a child.
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Old 02-06-2004, 10:44 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Location: Raleigh, NC
Well, we can't get the birth control shot since she is 17...
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Old 02-06-2004, 10:50 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Location: North of Mexico, South of Canada
Quote:
Originally posted by Digilogic
Well, we can't get the birth control shot since she is 17...
Yes you can. Parental notifaction is not required in most states for the shot. My sister has used it since she was 16, paid in cash, and never considered it my parents business.
The wonderfull thing about planned parenthood is that they respect your privacy, regardless of your situation. In the rare states (3 actually) that does require parental notifaction. they will put you in contact with an out of state Planned parenthood, and even give you directions and help make an appointment if the young lady so desires thier help.
To them, the sexually active young womans interests and saftey are priority one.
(can you tell how much i respect their mission?)
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Old 02-06-2004, 10:50 PM   #14 (permalink)
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It seems to me, that my ex actually got birth control before she was 18 through one of the Women's Health Centers.

edit: It seems I was beat to the punch!

It's definitely worth a shot.

If you don't believe me, ask my best friend. He used a condom, and it was only a few times. Now he's picking out names, and showing off ultrasound images. In a matter of a few weeks he went from getting ready to open the business of his dreams, to collecting every paycheck to make sure he can support his pregnant fiancee and the baby that's on the way.

Shit happens, man, you gotta be prepared...and when it comes to sex, you're either prepared to prevent pregnancy, or you better be prepared to support a child.
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Last edited by majik_6; 02-06-2004 at 10:53 PM..
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Old 02-06-2004, 10:52 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Location: Raleigh, NC
Hey arch, can you list off the states that care? I was under the impression that she couldn't get anything until she was 18 at any kind of doctor...

I would love birth control. but She doesn't want her mom to know.
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Old 02-06-2004, 11:03 PM   #16 (permalink)
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ok, first of all, to whoever thinks that trying birth control out is a good option for every woman, i need to say that some women try out the pill and almost DIE because of blood clots. my mother and sister almost died from reactions to the pill. so no, a woman should always consult a doctor before getting on the pill and tell her full medical history.

and now talking from personal experience, it's fine to use a condom as your primary means of birth control, but i would recommend that you use a spermicide of some sort in addition, just to be safe. the kind i use is called "VCF" and you can find it over the counter at any pharmacy or walmart. it's "vaginal contraceptive film". it's a little square of film that you fold and insert 10-15 mins before having sex, and it doesn't drip back out or anything. my doctor recommended it to me, and as of yet i have no children. but keep in mind that you still need to use a condom in order to have a lower risk of getting pregnant. the VCF is not very expensive....and your local free clinic or planned parenthood can actually give you some for free if you ask. hope that helps out.
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Old 02-06-2004, 11:08 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Location: North of Mexico, South of Canada
Quote:
Originally posted by Digilogic
Hey arch, can you list off the states that care? I was under the impression that she couldn't get anything until she was 18 at any kind of doctor...

I would love birth control. but She doesn't want her mom to know.
Lookup your state;
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/ZIP.HTM
Then call and ask if parental notifaction for birth controll perscriptions is required in your state. they won't even ask your name.

The problem is that so many are under informed about planned parenthood and their privacy rights. Most staes will protect the privacy of those over 16 from even their parents if the patient wishes it. the only exception is medical emergency's.
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Old 02-06-2004, 11:09 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Location: Raleigh, NC
Another thing, we always use the condoms with the spermicide lubrication. I don't know how effective it is, but we buy those.
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Old 02-10-2004, 09:13 AM   #19 (permalink)
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ahhh, help, dont lecture people.

Digi. was same here. no BC cuz im raging. condoms yes. you will have to live with the worry if you choose your way of life, thats part of it. but the morning after pill is always an option if somethign breaks, slips, yada yada. its fucking scary but its how it goes. Go online, check out options. go to planned parenthood, i hear they are really really nice there.

and if anything, know the chances your taking, respect that, and make a conscious decision off of that.

best of luck
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Old 02-10-2004, 02:02 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Location: North of Mexico, South of Canada
Quote:
Originally posted by minyn
ahhh, help, dont lecture people.
We did help Minyn. I'm a little confused as to what you mean.
We provided him with a great deal of information, interspresed with opinion (which is natural when asking for advice) and provided options.
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Old 02-10-2004, 03:02 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Location: In the Woods.
I got the shot when I was 16. Granted, my parents have always known, but I'm pretty sure they'd be happier seeing me on the pill, rather than having a little baby running around.

Its just one of those decisions. Its too bad that her parents might not be 'cool' about the whole situation .. Sometimes I believe that puts kids like yourselves into bad situations where you have to "make due" with forms of birth control that aren't as effective.

There are great suggestions in this thread, I suggest you hop to them. And PS - Depo Provera (BC shot) only lasts 3 months ;D
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Old 02-10-2004, 04:36 PM   #22 (permalink)
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On-topic: Spermicidal, polyurathane condoms are your friends

Off-topic: I'm really quite unhappy about men not having a b/c option other than a condom, damn you nature.
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Old 02-10-2004, 06:55 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Why can't you use the pill? There is also the Depo shot or patch now, too.

I would suggest a second method- foam, diaphram, female condom. Always use at least two if not being able to be on the pill.
 
Old 02-10-2004, 08:40 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Location: STL, MO
my g/f in high school's body got MESSED UP (gain of weight, acne, mood swings, etc etc...) by the shot. I do not recommend it personally.

condoms work, and when used correctly they work well. the pill isnt as harsh on the body but its easy to make a mistake.

I've heard good things about the implant and the patch but have never been with a girl that used either. just known girls that did.
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Old 02-13-2004, 02:53 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Location: nyc
just to add to arch's little advertisement for planned parenthood -- you might want to check out this link from the planned parenthood teen site:

http://www.teenwire.com/index.asp?ta...981201p001.asp

they do say: "While a minor can receive contraceptive information and services without parental permission, the law in many states requires her to inform a parent, or to receive parental consent, before an abortion. " so it seem that you can get BC in any state -- notification laws seem to just target abortion.
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Old 02-14-2004, 09:09 AM   #26 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by ratbastid
They have a name for people who don't use any form of contraception. That name is "Mom and Dad".
i thought the name was "catholics",

there is no way to not worry about pregnancy when you sexually active, unless you get fixed and make sure the operation took hold.
if getting fixed is not for you, then i would suggest using multiple forms, condoms, foam, iud's, etc.
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Last edited by moonstrucksoul; 02-14-2004 at 09:16 AM..
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Old 02-14-2004, 11:00 AM   #27 (permalink)
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Location: Glenview, IL
Yeah I agree with the birth-control-pill-isn't-for-every-woman thing. My gynecologist was apprehensive about putting me on it because my blood pressure is on the border of normal and high, and I have a history of migraines. They warned me of the increased risk of blood clots/stroke in women with those conditions, but I'm aware of my body so I'm careful. I haven't had an increase in the frequency of migraines, but I know if I do that could be a sign. The benefits outweigh the risk right now.
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