Strange Famous

Ive been single for over 3 years now and every time I go anywhere I could meet girls, I get to scared to approach anyone, or just get drunk, plus I am a fat piece of crap. I dont even know why I am posting in a "sexuality" forum, since I probably wont have sex again until I am 40 and can start picking up complete monsters, or I start paying for it. God, I am no depressed.

"It doesnt have to be the way it is, You say it is
Cos because for the past twenty years every day it is"

blah... I hate my life

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

onetime2

Dude,

You gotta lighten up. Find things you enjoy doing and you'll meet women there that share your interests.

You have two choices, sit around feeling sorry for yourself or don't.

If you're not happy about your weight, you can change it. It just takes work and commitment. If you don't want to change it, accept it and stop focusing on it. Personality has more to do with getting women than looks. If you remain focused on your image, do nothing to change it, or fail to accept it your self loathing will push people away since it comes right through in your personality.

Chin up brother.

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Strive to be more curious than ignorant.

RAGEAngel9

Welcome to the club!
Grab a beer.

Jay Francis

Well, there's always

grouchie

remember, there are some chicks that like bigger guys...

my last woman, who i was with for 5 years loved the belly.... she liked to lounge on it (then again, so did my dog... hmmm)...
and i was great to cuddle.

Looks are only part of the equation, and a personality makes up for that like you wouldn't believe.
You just have to open yourself up to it and believe it before it will happen.

I had trouble with that at one point, but then before dating this last girl there were like 4 of us trying for her very hard (this was college, she was new and hot, everyone wanted a piece).
At that point i basically thought I had no chance because i'mjust the "funny fat guy everyone wants to be friends with" and a couple of the other guys were more attractive and whatnot...
BUt, in the end I won out and shit, that did so much for my outlook on life.

Currently i'm not dating anyone, but I hang out with the hottest chicks i work with and everyone loves the personality...

it's amazing what you can accomplish when you believe in yourself

oberon

Accepting that you are who you are is the first step towards being happy.

I'm pretty fat myself but I never let it get the better of me. I am almost 22 and I have yet to have a serious relationship. I think I enjoy my independence too much. I'm too used to it. Or something.

In any case, having a serious relationship is in my todo. But I've spent many hours considering my life, and I've decided it's not yet my main priority.

You need to do the same for yourself.

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"There are finer fish in the sea than have ever been caught." -- Irish proverb

PoteMatic

Dude if its hard to get motivated to work out then just think of the women and whatever else you hope to get when you look better and maybe that will help you out. Latley ive been trying to loose some weight for some of the same reason and thats what i think about and it helps.

majik_6

I feel you on this, man.

About 18 months ago, I was 55 pounds heavier, and 2 inches shorter and was NOT carrying it well. I had the girlfriend, but not much else was going for me.

Then I became single. It's been rough, and I'd forgotten how hard it was for me to meet women, but I'll tell you, if you don't believe in yourself, why would anyone else? I used to think that was just some motivational bullshit, but I started living by it. It's helped me to lose weight and feel better about myself.

Things always work out in the end. I konw that doesn't mean shit now, and I just sound like a presumptuous ass for saying it, but I say it truthfully out of experience.

And like somebody said earlier, if you're unhappy with something, make the decision to change it. Doing that can be the first step towards becoming happy with yourself. Not only will you be achieving something that makes you happy, but you'll be enjoying some new attention from others. Most importantly, it'll show you that you and only you are in control of yourself, and that's a great feeling.

And if you need someone to talk to, bitch at, or just vent with feel free to drop me a msg. Sometimes it helps to talk to someone that's been there (and for that matter, I'm still there...but I'm getting closer to who I want to be).

Hang in there, man.

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it's all about self-indulgence

smiling_bob

Get busy living, or get busy dying -- Shawshank Redemption

If you don't like your situation, you need to change it. Not tomorrow. Not later today. Now. You want to get in shape to get the chicks? Do something to get in shape. It's late? Make up a workout schedule, plan your meals, or look at gyms online.

Don't want to workout? Ok, make a different goal. Does it have to be finding a girl? Is that really what you are looking for? Take up a new hobby. Art, reading, some outdoors activity, anything. But set the goal now and follow up on it.

That being said, I'll admit, it's hard. I want a girlfriend, but don't have one, I want a better job than I have, etc, etc. But I do think about it, and more importantly, I think about ways to CHANGE it.

Heh, or maybe you are just venting and are a pretty happy guy overall and just wanted to get this out. That's ok too.

Strange Famous

There is a good reason to try not to post threads when you are drunk!

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

illesturban

I have the same problem with being shy to approach women sometimes but women love confident guys. I've found that I get more attention and a better response the more confident I am. Just give it a shot; what do you have to lose?

iamnormal

Don't be me SF. Don't be me or you'll die like me.

Tuffy_McGee

Hey Strange Famous, It's hard to find women who would potentially be attracted to you. I think that's the key: potentially attracted to you. Women are attracted by different things then men are; so they aren't always immediately attracted to you, I think.
You gotta find someone you like and have a lot in common with.

onetime2

I suspected that to be the case. Either way, you've gotten some good advice here. If it wasn't just a drunken rambling (which I think it probably was) hopefully you'll take some of it.

Good luck on the romantic front, it's not always easy.

__________________
Strive to be more curious than ignorant.

World's King

I know what you mean... I'm always drunk. And look at all the stupid shit I say.

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

AfterBurn

Hey I'm 5"7-9 and I weigh 130 pounds. Be happy you can put on some pounds I guess.

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smoking weed everyday keeps the doctor away

TM875

Women are a waste of time. As a golf pro friend of mine said when I was 15 - "Stay away from girls, they'll take you money and steal your swing".

That's been nothing but true. Women will do nothing but make you spend more money and take away your proverbial "swing" - the thing that makes you, you.

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"I've made only one mistake in my life. But I made it over and over and over. That was saying 'yes' when I meant 'no'. Forgive me."

*Nikki*

I wish that men would realize that what it truely takes to get women is not a game plan.

It is simple things like walking up and starting a conversation, smiling and making eye contact, being a gentleman, being a genuine nice guy, being thoughtful, being considerate, and being YOURSELF.

My advice to you is to stop being afraid to talk to women. Don't go out with the intention of picking someone up, go out with the intention of making some new friends that might have potential. The kind of women that you will want to be with in the long run is the kind that you can have a decent conversation with and have a lot in commen witn. You will find that you will become attracted to her for more the just her physical self when you see her true inner self.

I know. I once based it all on the outer part and I found out that was nothing compared to someone I really clicked with inside. That is what matters. Don't be afraid to just talk to us, we like being treated like a mind, not just a piece of meat.

sailor

Yes! I was right! My drunk-o-meter flew off the charts when I read that post!

Anyways, carry on...

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"Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws."
--Plato

Mehoni

I don't know any real advice. I'm ugly as crap and I'm shy so I have a hard time speaking to strangers.

So I do it the geek-way. I meet people via the internet and then bring it to RL.

I'm a very personality-oriented person though."Goodlookng" people with crappy personalities are ugly to me, and "ugly" peopelw ith gerat personalities are gold.

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There seem to be countless rituals and cultural beliefs designed to alleviate their fear of a simple biological truth - all organisms eventually perish.

danthony12321

I know it's been said a billion times, but just hang in there, be who you are, and everything will find a way of working out.
I know it is easier said than done about working on loosing weight, but it takes the strictest of discipline. I found this guy's site a little while ago, and was amazed by how he transformed himself in one year.

http://www.johnstonefitness.com/

It is neat to see the month-by-month changes.

sapiens

Truly lots of great advice above. I wouldn't worry too much about posting drunk. Your still managed to create a post reflecting what a lot of people probably feel. The only advice left that I can think of (mind you, it's rather shallow, insensitive, and may not be good advice if you are looking for anything other than sex) is: Lower your standards.

Smimpinj

Tao of Steve Bro, Tao of Steve
'nuff said.
Just the flick you need.

ChrisJericho

Dude chicks suck. I haven't had a date for 4 years and I don't even care.

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"A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows us that faith proves nothing." - Friedrich Nietzsche

skysooner

It's all in the attitude. If you feel comfortable with yourself, things with girls will all work out. For years, I was completely comfortable with my intellectualness, but I was a social moron. I used to be slim, and I could attract girls just through my looks. However I never really could hold on to them. My wife was just as socially inept as I was (extremely shy) but she knew how to do it where I didn't. That's why she and I connected so quickly. We were kindred souls.

I helped bring her out of her shell, and she taught me how to be more socially graceful. I will never be great at it, but I'm much, much better than I used to be. Over the years, I gained weight though. I'm not sure why except that I liked food and never really saw the need for exercise. I got up to 254 lbs in 2001 (5'10" tall). I was more socially graceful but felt fat as hell (I wasn't very obese, but I was still packing quite a few more lbs than I wanted to) and my health was suffering. I felt comfortable with who I was except for this. Around the middle of this last year, something triggered in me. I was finishing my MBA, and my wife had lost 20 post-baby lbs to get back into a size 6. She was working out, and I was winded walking up 2 flights of stairs. I started to diet a bit and when the pounds started shedding, I started exercising. I just weighed in at 182 with a goal of 174 at the moment. I'm down 12" in my waist. I achieved an above-average fitness level on a treadmill test, cholesterol down, etc. I now feel that I have all of my life together.

I guess the point of all of this is that you have to feel comfortable with who you are first off. If you don't like yourself, others will find it hard to do so as well. In some ways, I got very lucky meeting my wife when I did. I still feel I would have worked it out as I got out of college and was forced to socialize, but my life might have been very different (and maybe not for the better).

Dilbert1234567

im just as lonely, but you'll find some one, i know i will.

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Donate Blood!

"Love is not finding the perfect person, but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." -Sam Keen

Supple Cow

I'd go even further with Nikki's thought and wish that men and women alike would realize that it doesn't take ANYTHING to get someone that is truly compatible with you. (This is not to say that relationships are effortless.) I only mean that there could easily be 10 women who would love to go out with you and whose company you would enjoy, but you just haven't bumped into them yet. Think of how many women there are who've never been to Ipswich!

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"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
(Michael Jordan)