sevenoate

hi. so i'm pretty (very) inexperienced sexually. i'm a guy. there's a girl i really like, and she likes me -- i mean, we're sort of going out, but it's not really clear. i haven't gotten any farther with her than making out, but obviously i'd like to move things along... i like her a lot. it's really weird because we always see each other at parties at other people's houses and we don't have that much freedom because there are lots of other people around.

but anyway, my main question is about fingering her -- and please don't make fun of me here. am i just supposed to slide my hand down her pants while we're making out, or what? really, i want to eat her out, and i guess that once i'm fingering her it won't be too hard to start going down on her, but i'm just not sure how to get it going. is fingering supposed to be as simple as a hand down her pants, or am i supposed to get her on her back or something? i know that lots of people are going to tell me to ask her, or that it's different for everyone and that there's no right way, but i'd just like a few basic etiquette pointers.

much appreciated.

Strange Famous

Well, I guess I am no sex position expert, but I think there is a bit more to it than just shoving your hand down her pants, you would either be trying to *reasonably gently* insert your finger inside her and/or stimulate her clitiros.

Honestly, the best thing really is just to try it out and ask her what she likes and what feels good and work it our for yourself though.

Alternatively, you could dl some porno and see if that gives you any tips on technique?

I think the basic ettiquette of it all is just to take your time, stop if she says stop, and just go slowly and have a good time.

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PDOUBLEOP

Heres what my 18 yrs of experience say:

Start on the outside of her clothes. You'll be able to get her plenty worked up from there. Don't go straight for the hoochie, work around it for a while and occasionally brush against it as if by accident. Teasing her by "beating around the bush" and not attacking her box will get her going more from the anticipation. Just don't go poking around like you're trying to shove you're finger in a play-doh can. Don't force your hand down her pants. If her pants are tight, don't even try it with them on cause all you'll do is hurt her. If you have to, work from the outside. Start off with your hand flat like you're just rubbing on it, then once it's lubed up a little start working fingers in slowly. Remember to keep your hand relaxed and be gentle (until she tells you different). Most of all, stay calm and don't be in a hurry. If she's new to it also, she'll feel more comfortable and make the experience better for both of you.

Don't try to work your fingers in and out like a jackhammer, typically a slow rubbing motion works better.

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arch13

As crass as the phrasing is, he's making the right point here. start on the outside of her clothes. The vagina is an incredibly pressure sensative organ, and even slight pressure on her crotch will be felt.
Sliding your hand down her chest and over her crotch would be my recomendation, taking your time and slowly drawing your fingertips from her neck on down. Touch is incredibly erotic and very important to anyones sexuality. I always thought of fingering as something that came after one was comfortable with her shirt off and both had somelevel of comfort with each others tops off in my youth.
Start on the outside of her clothes with your four fingers flat over the area of her vagina and massage the area in gental circular motions.
At the time when she has indicated a comfort level with your hand down her pants, fingering is not the objective. rather, clitoral stimulation is. If you have never massaged a woman before, there is no shame in asking her to help place your hand where she wants it.
Siting or standing behind her while reaching down her frontside to her crotch typically provides the most comfortable position for a man. Again using a single finger you want to massage her clit in a gental circular manner, using her body language as your guide to your pace and rythm. Pay attention to her breath and the pressure of herleaning back against you as she relaxes. both are very important ques to the speed at which you massage her. You increased pace should be based on this.
If and when you feel comfortable or she asks you, slide your hand below her clitoris and use a single digit to explore her vagina. Do not immediatly try to place your finger in her, but rather get the "lay of the land" so to speak. Understand where everything is and leave no area un-touched by your fingertip in an effort to beter understand her body. If and when you feel there is suficiant lubrication you can attempt to slide your fingertip into her. Using both hands, one massaging her clitoris while the other explores her vagina is a plus here. Start slow and never place more than a little into her at a time. Use the joints in your finger as mental guides if you want. start by only placing your finger in to the first joint then drawing it out repaetdly in a slow rythm, as always using her body language as your guide to the speed she feels comfortable with. Slowly work your way to the second joint, and so on.
As a side not you might want to trtaste your fingers afer they've been inside her if you've never tasted the scent of a womans vagina. it's something you should be real familiar with the taste of.

And because we have to ask since this is an adult forum, how old are you?

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PDOUBLEOP

Yeah, that's what I meant

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wry1

If I might make a suggestion.....


.....Find someplace and time for the two of you to not have any distractions. Because you're not going to want to rush things.

Yes, you're interested in this girl. Yes, you'd like to take things farther. But if you hurry too much, it'll be something that both of you will find awkward and fumbling....and none too amusing. Instead, set aside a few hours where you can explore, tease, touch, taste and pleasure each other. Even if it's still awkward due to inexperience, it'll be something which you both will find cute and pleasant, instead of hurried and jumbled.

But that's just my opinion....I could be right.

evilbeefchan

I think Adam Carolla summed it up the best by comparing our peices to a dog (male) and a cat (female). With a dog, you can play rough with it, rub it all over, and he'll love it. If you try that on a cat, she'll scratch your eyes out and run away. Be gentle, don't act like a drunken bear trying to get that last pickled egg in the jar.
But in all seriousness, since you have said that you haven't really gotten farther than making out, be careful to not overstep your boundaries. Make sure she's totally comfortable with it before you go any further. Once you've gotten all that out of the way, then you can use that scented warming lube and the leather cuffs.

sillygirl

Okay, this seriously almost made me fall off my chair laughing.

Anyway, take it slow, make sure she's comfortable... if she isn't, she'll hate it. And you probably will, too. So just make sure you guys have plenty of time to explore, take it slow.

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Zamunda

and one other note... if you've never done it before I'd be very careful going down on her... this takes more technique than just fingering, and its a bit of an acquired taste (no pun intended).
However, if you feel comfortable with the girl you should definitely go for it and might like it a lot... every girl's different and while there are some things that almost everyone likes, most girls are willing to tell you what they want. Some girls also really don't like oral sex on them at all, and if thats the case you're out of luck.

small anecdote: I once met this gorgeous lesbian at a bar in Rome, and since we were both really drunk she said she'd teach me how to go down on a girl... using my hand as a demonstration tool. By the time she was finished with my hand I was gagging for it but she just laughed and ordered me another whiskey.

jasonresno

Word of advice:
Don't try to make all of these moves too fast..let things come as they come before you try to finger fuck her...

moonstrucksoul

i always took my time, never rush things, especially if she is the one.

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phoenix1002

Hmm. I always thought that there were a few more 'steps' if you will between making out with and fingering a girl... I'd say take it easy, and make sure you're not moving too fast.

Of course, my problem is figuring out the difference between 'too fast' and 'being completely oblivious to hints that she wants to go further'

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piglet

You made me remember my early days, I was like a drunk bull in a china shop, so awkward. If i knew then what i Know now.Take all this advice to heart and learn as much as you can.

Zorvox

Do whatever you feel is comfortable... you don't wanna do something that you won't feel comfortable doing other wise you might.. slip things up or something..

Just get the idea in your head that what you are doing is pleasurable blah blah, relax.. and let things take their own course

but just relax

Slims

Go buy a sex book, or, check out www.sex-project.com (I think I got that right), they will have some detailed 'guides' for you.

Don't be too embarassed to go to the bookstore or library and check out a few sex-books...the how to kind. They are very usefull, they help dispel a lot of myths about sex, and give you a good idea of what exactly you are supposed to do, when, and where to do it.

BTW, don't try to stick your head in your girlfriends crotch just after you manage to get your fingers down there. Also, be gentle, and listen to any 'hints' she leaves about what you should be doing, and if you are really lost after you get your hand down there, ask her what to do.

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Mephex

And a word of warning, if you feel you will have the opportunity to go down on her, just play around a bit, tweak her clitoris a bit, just enough to get her to the point where you're both "in tune".

If you go sticking your fingers inside her, you may not like what you find at the time, nor will you like what you've created an hour later when you're about to get where you want to go.

She may back off if you go too fast, so take it easy. And if you end up printing this thread off, don't have it in your back pocket 'that' night. lol

sigma1042

if you really want to move things along
i'll give you the same advice i tell everyone,
it always works,
while you're making out, things getting hot
take out you junk, stop, lean back and say "what are we going to do about this?"
she'll be slobbering all over it in no time
guaranteed!

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Zamunda

Sorry if this sounds rude sigma, but how many girls has that tactic actually worked on?