G5_Todd

depends on how good your job is......


if you making 60k a year hell no....if your flipping burgers for 6 bucks an hour go for it

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"....and when you men get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a pussy."

-General Franks

lightning

Really what isn't being said is that this is a really big opportunity to see what you’re made of.

First, just because you date this girl doesn't mean you are gonna hurt her or do her wrong... Only you know your real intentions.
(if you really can have some feelings for her this can be good, if this is just gonna be a fling it's real dangerous)

Second, the character you show here is gonna define you professionally in this company. If you treat this girl right no matter what, you will enhance your prestige with your boss and co-workers, and show some stones. It makes your way up move a lot faster.
(don't do this for your career though because it'll blow up in your face in a big way)

Third, it seems that virtually nobody has thought about what will happen if she gives you the shaft... Yes, women do that sometimes... There have been guys that couldn't handle the break up of a relationship and freaked out. Even a little freakage is gonna look way bad for you. (I mean: you can't call over and over when she doesn't want to talk to you, you can't just show up at her house, you can’t argue around her family, you can't talk to her folks ie. your boss and his wife about any fact, true or perceived, regarding you relationship, etc... If so this will certainly hurt your status with your boss and co-workers)

Basically, what I'm saying is if you do the right thing this probably won't hurt you. In fact, if you are the kind of man who can do the right thing, this will be known and valued by everyone involved. If you aren't they'll find out anyway, but you shouldn't give any bullets to shoot you with.

You might as well try the ancient approach and ask the dad if it is okay for you to ask out his daughter. He will certainly think more of you for this and he will tell you where the landmines are. But, be ready to hear the truth. If he tells you no, you gotta live with it, he’ll be twice as pissed if you go against him and do it anyway.

If everyone involved is an adult here and acts like it, you should have no worries... however, there are lots of people who can't act like adults in this world. Just be sure you know what YOU are doing.

Good luck.

saleenobsessed

I dont know. It depends on how easy going your boss is. Being the bosses daughter my dad didn't really take it to well. he acually fired the guy. so be smart about it.

Nazggul

I'm the boss, but I have no daughter. Sooooo, trying to put myself into that mindset. It really would depend on how I felt about the guy as an employee and as a person. I imagine if he had a strong work ethic I would feel better about it. If he wasn't sucha good employee, it would probably hasten his departure.

Are you strong enough to be her man? Is she mature enough not to play games with you and leverage her Dad? You'll be under a microscope at work. All in all I say go for it. At such a young age you don't have much to lose.

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"If something has to give then it always will."

-- Editors

Plan9Senior

Never fish in the company pond my friend. The fact that you are actually thinking of messing with the bosses daugther will definately end up being the end of your career. Don't go there unless the job isn't important to you.

SAM821

....man... this is harder than I thought well... I shall find out in a few days what the deal is.... I definitly agree with both sides of the party... It could go both ways, but i want to trust my instincts...

I talked to my mom about what i should do, (she is the financial manager in the company, so I dont want to fuck up her CAREER) and she said i should take the girl out, and stay friends with her, and take things VERY slow..... being that she is young (18) its something i should take my time with, and let happen naturally and NOT hastily...

so i think i may just go with that, I will say though that this girl is VERY into me... so I really do need to be careful because its not my job im worried about (im turning 22 in march and im still going to school for my engineering degree), I can always find another job, but its my mom's job that I dont want to fuck up... that would destroy me...

In conclusion, i think i will talk to the dad, when the time is right, and ask permission, and explain to him my intentions (to be friends) and take it from there... that way there is no pressure... and its only "friendly"....

so... i will keep you posted.... I know what i gotta do... whats crazy though is that this isnt even half of my problems.... I still have my ex involved in my life (i still see her, im friends with her and we are still intimate) and i have this other girl that is interested in me... so I really need to take things slow and just let things fall into place...

Plus i dont know what the future will bring... but like you said Plan9... life is short and I dont want any regrets in life... thats why i need to take chances sometimes...

james t kirk

Normally, i would agree with you, but the kid's mother works there too.

Is she under the "boss's" authority too?

If so, she could end up with the short end of the stick too.

There is more at play here than a horny 21 year old.

My advice would be you are 21, there are bazillions of other women out there, find one of those and avoid the problem.

Most 21 year old guys don't marry their girlfriends that they were dating when they were 21.

Rodney

Let's talk about risk versus reward. Best case "Reward" is, you date her, everything works out okay, you have fun, everyone's satisifed, eventually it ends with good memories and nobody's hurt.

But what are you risking for that moderately good outcome? Worst case risks: Your secure status at a job you may well need in order to finish college. Your mom's career and possibly her retirement prospects.

So is the best-case reward worth the worst-case risks? I think not. You may hold out marriage as the ultimate best-case, but as Kirk says, that's pretty unrealistic at age 21. And in any case never, ever start a relationship with marriage in mind; skews your attitude in bad ways, danger will robinson, etc.

Nazggul

Sam, I will retract my earlier post. Since it is your Mom's company and her reputation you are concerned with...definitely stay away from it. There will be plenty more girls after this one. Let it go, it's not worth it. You sound like you are trying to approach it with the right perspective, but "the best layed plans..." I know it sounds logical now, but when emotions are involved logic goes out the window.

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"If something has to give then it always will."

-- Editors

Calvinmetal

So yeah, read this and had to register. Want to hear a "worst case senario" version of this story? Cool. I'm leaving some information out but here is the basics.

Last year I was into a not so valid form of making money to live off of. It was going awesome, until I no longer had a place to live. However, I was still making good (really good) money. I moved in with a friend and his family (he was living at home with parents, he is not married w/kids) and after a few months of him and I making money together, I was offered a job working for his mom selling and shipping foods to prisons. I took the job back around Novemeber and worked there happily until yesterday.
In February, a task force raided our house, the "big fish" turned on u saying we were the main supplier, and we ended up out smarting the police and keeping everything hidden well enought to remain clean...but thats is when we called it quits.


For the last few months before this all transpired, his sister had always caught my attention, but for a few reasons (including her being my bosses daughter and living in their house) I told myself never to make a move on her...which didn't matter because she made it on me eventually. So time goes by and it becomes somewhat of a serious relationship, we start seeing each other more, meaning more to each other etc, then is it a serious relationship.

After Dating three months, we were sitting in a chair watching a moive or something and her brother walked in and flipped out, we pointed out we wern't doing anything inappropriate, but he flipped regardless. I had a birthday June 1st, and on that day he asked me to move out within a week or two for more reasons than the previous night but including it as a reason. The next Saturday, was HER birthday. I'm practically family at this point, so I stay for the family dinner and watch a movie with the family, after which we go downstairs and finish Finding Nemo with her younger sisters, and then I put in a REAL Romantic movie...Friday (Ice Cube and Chris Tucker). Halfway through friday the younger sisters go upstairs and brother comes down and once again freaks out asking all sorts of questions about what we were doing. Our answers didn't matter, so I stopped answering eventually...

Next day HER mom takes her cell phone and starts looking through the messages without telling her...she comes and sits next to me and shows a particularly graphic one to me and tells me to go pack up. I'm still not sure if I have been fired, or if that was me quitting, but I'm supposed to get my Final Hours to her by Friday. I brought up the point that what happened is a personal issue and she can't really fire me for it especially because it has never affected my work. I keep business and personal seperate, and am very good at it. She didn't listen, so I lost my job regardless. I lost my second family (well more so her brother, mother, and step-father, her other 4 siblings are happy with us being together).

Point is, some people who are in power will not use rational thinking and you will probably loose your job, so before you get toooo into your relationship, think about a carreer change or switching companies, and keep shit on the down low for a while...because no matter how secret you try to remain, if you aren't always super paranoid it's going to come back to bite you in the ass...but who wants to have a secret relationship anyways? Not me. Fuck that, I wont censor my feelings for anyone. I live my life how I choose to live it, and if someone else has a problem with it...guess what, thats their problem.

I decided to stay with her even though her parents dont want her to see me...ever...again. I lost friends and my job...i'm not loosing the one thing I was fighting for.

Hopefully her mom doesn't happen to check forums for this topic...I could see her being the type to do that... so on the off chance that she does, FUCK YOU. I took better care of your daughter than you ever have, your ex-husband, or your husband, or any man she has ever been with. I make her happy and

So, to having a relationship and/or sex with your bosses daughter, CHEERS!!

oh this is bad.

Let me know what you guys think...besides that I'm an idiot or anything like that...I've gotten so much of that in the last few days I dont need to from you guys. Thanks. Hope you've enjoyed reading this. It has really sucked for me though.

---------- Post added at 11:38 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:27 AM ----------

reading through that is makes it sound like we're 15 years old with the whole cell phone thing...definately not, im into my 20s. To whomever is considering dating their bosses daughter, I'm not kidding when I say, dont. The chances it will be anything more than a short fling with a bad ending are astronomical. I'm lucky in that I thik I'll be with this girl for quite some time. but dont just want to date or fuck your bosses daughter because she is hot. Or unless you plan on quitting and want to give your boss a big fuck you on your way out. lol

Anyways it's not a good idea unless you know her really well and are willing to loose what I have lost...which is close to everything. I said I would be leaving out details but I lost a lot and dont care to mention it.

Hope your decisions are the right ones.

Cheers! I'm gonna go have a beer and try to forget about this for a little bit.

Reese

I think the biggest problem is the age difference. You're 9 years older than his 18yo little girl. That's enough to piss a father off right there. He's also your boss which is another potential problem. He may take it as a sign of disrespect while you're dating her and he'll definitely hold a grudge if/when things don't work out. It's highly unlikely that they won't work out. 18year olds are stupid as shit and you'll learn that really quick when dating one.

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Redlemon

Calvinmetal, I mean this in the most positive way possible:



That's a hell of a "first post". Hope you stick around.

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I can't read your signature. Sorry.

MSD

My boss' daughter is in elementary school, so no.