Euphanisms for masturbating - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

emphant · 11-25-2003, 12:15 PM

Inspired by the what do you call sex thread.

My favorite:
flogging the dolphin
beating the bishop
slapping the one eyed snake

legolas · 11-25-2003, 12:20 PM

get the basics out of the way:
jerkin' it
wackin' off
petting the monkey
cleaning the pipes
fucking rosy

water_boy1999 · 11-25-2003, 12:21 PM

Sorry, I am only posting the link because there are waaaay too many synonyms for beating the meat (hey, there's one):

http://www.allaboutsex.org/mastsynonyms1.html#words1

mb99usa · 11-25-2003, 12:22 PM

taking care of myself

Sho Nuff · 11-25-2003, 12:48 PM

pumping the crowd up

phredgreen · 11-25-2003, 12:49 PM

i simply refer to it as wanking. it works.

World's King · 11-25-2003, 01:02 PM

I call it masturbation or gooing.

NatureBoy · 11-25-2003, 01:23 PM

reflecting
jerkin' the gherkin'
slingin' yogurt
rubbing one out

-Anders · 11-25-2003, 01:33 PM

What's wrong with wanking or jacking off? Masturbating is for when i talk to girls about it, hehe.

Mango · 11-25-2003, 03:43 PM

Whipping a batch off by hand

bparker805 · 11-25-2003, 03:52 PM

Stroking one out.

"Can I call you back? I'm in the middle of stroking one out."

slimshaydee · 11-25-2003, 05:33 PM

flogging your log
wanking your crank
beating your meat
spanking your monkey
pettin the lil fella
wanking
masturbating
pulling off
rubbing one out
having a bat
a larryup

Jonsgirl · 11-25-2003, 07:38 PM

What about female masturbation?? No one's gonna talk about pearl diving?

OFKU0 · 11-25-2003, 08:32 PM

I call masturbation the 'bonus of the day.'

" And how are you today sir,?"

" Not bad thanks, think it's going to be a bonus of the day."

quadro2000 · 11-25-2003, 08:37 PM

waxing bobo.

TheFirstDuffMan · 11-25-2003, 09:04 PM

Rock out with the cock out.

guthmund · 11-25-2003, 10:32 PM

I'm partial to "rubbing one out" or "doing the laundry"

An old roommate of mine used to refer to it as "dorking the donkey" Whatever the hell that means.

Stargazer01 · 11-25-2003, 11:42 PM

Thats alot of euphanisms. Personally i just prefer to "whack it" but whatever ><

Jedbeck · 11-26-2003, 07:26 AM

Going Number 3

digby · 11-26-2003, 10:13 AM

Plan B

tikki · 11-26-2003, 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by digby
Plan B

that made me laugh.

wanking.

ratbastid · 11-26-2003, 06:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jedbeck
Going Number 3

That's horrible!

Tom Waits once referred to it as "Making the scene with a magazine"....

"Hey, I'm not weird about it or anything... I don't tie myself up first..."

World's King · 11-26-2003, 08:01 PM

The new one I heard today is "taking myself for a walk."

bobw · 11-26-2003, 08:31 PM

He's in the other room "roughin' up the suspect!"

nanofever · 11-26-2003, 11:20 PM

Having an evening in with Palmala

obelix · 11-28-2003, 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Sho Nuff
pumping the crowd up

haha i havnt heard that one before but i like it.

"give it a tug" or "tuggin it"

SabrinaFair · 11-28-2003, 04:13 PM

For myself, I call it rubbing one out or going on a date with BOB, depending on the scenario.

When refering to males, I usually refer to it as good old-fashioned jerking off.

stiffy · 11-29-2003, 04:34 PM

Going out with Mrs Palmer and her five daughters!
Knocking the top off!
Five knuckle shuffle!
Belting one off!
Poor man's porn!
Jerkin the Gerkin!

Dilbert1234567 · 11-30-2003, 12:05 AM

Well women masturbate too you know:

Stirring the troth
twiddling the furry grotto
polish my pearl
giving the bearded lady a poke in the nose
saving a spot in hell
Beat the beaver
Composing on the single key piano
Digging a trench
Digging for clam
Dip your digits
Engaging in a hot button issue
Fiddle with your middle
Fluff your muff
The Harmonious hand hump
Itch the ditch
Ladle out the gravy boat
Paddling the pink canoe
Play poker
Play the clitar
Play couch hockey for one
Spelunking
Split your slit
Squeeze the peach
Stirring the clam chowder

...
...
...

i feel dirty
*sulks in the shower*

insidious_machinae · 11-30-2003, 01:18 AM

I dunno about slang for masturbation but I call semen "The Swimteam".

monkeysugar · 12-06-2003, 02:52 PM

"Taking matters into your own hands" i.e. There comes a time in every man's life where you just have to take matters into your own hands.

VF19 · 12-06-2003, 03:59 PM

choking your chicken,
lonely buisness trips.

vonstalhein · 12-06-2003, 04:16 PM

Having fun with the gun

Baz · 12-06-2003, 05:13 PM

I got a laugh out of 'pulling my pud' the first time I heard it, but my favourite is

"I'm gonna go anger some Catholic Gods..."

triad · 12-06-2003, 08:31 PM

shooting the sheriff and waiting for the possy to arive!

And a date with Jill - if you put your right hand out with the plam away it spells out jill...

hehe

Steenoob · 12-07-2003, 12:07 PM

Random generator and the original 14 page list

...and a truly original one:

Building my LEGO fortress.

11-25-2003, 12:15 PM	#1 (permalink)
emphant Crazy Location: Meeshagain	Euphanisms for masturbating Inspired by the what do you call sex thread. My favorite: flogging the dolphin beating the bishop slapping the one eyed snake

11-25-2003, 12:20 PM	#2 (permalink)
legolas shit faced cockmaster Location: CT	get the basics out of the way: jerkin' it wackin' off petting the monkey cleaning the pipes fucking rosy __________________ "To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."

11-25-2003, 12:21 PM	#3 (permalink)
water_boy1999 Fly em straight! Location: Above and Beyond	Sorry, I am only posting the link because there are waaaay too many synonyms for beating the meat (hey, there's one): http://www.allaboutsex.org/mastsynonyms1.html#words1 __________________ Doh!!!! -Homer Simpson

11-25-2003, 12:22 PM	#4 (permalink)
mb99usa Keep on rolling. It only hurts for a little while. Location: wherever I am	taking care of myself __________________ So, what's your point? It's not an attitude, it's a way of life.

11-25-2003, 12:48 PM	#5 (permalink)
Sho Nuff Addict Location: Harlem	pumping the crowd up __________________ I know Nietzsche doesnt rhyme with peachy, but you sound like a pretentious prick when you correct me.

11-25-2003, 12:49 PM	#6 (permalink)
phredgreen who? Location: the phoenix metro	i simply refer to it as wanking. it works. __________________ My country is the world, and my religion is to do good. - Thomas Paine

11-25-2003, 01:02 PM	#7 (permalink)
World's King Here Location: Denver City Denver	I call it masturbation or gooing. __________________ heavy is the head that wears the crown

11-25-2003, 01:23 PM	#8 (permalink)
NatureBoy Crazy	reflecting jerkin' the gherkin' slingin' yogurt rubbing one out

11-25-2003, 01:33 PM	#9 (permalink)
-Anders Custom title. Location: Denmark.	What's wrong with wanking or jacking off? Masturbating is for when i talk to girls about it, hehe. __________________ Signature 101

11-25-2003, 03:43 PM	#10 (permalink)
Mango Banned	Whipping a batch off by hand

11-25-2003, 03:52 PM	#11 (permalink)
bparker805 is KING! Location: On the path to Valhalla.	Stroking one out. "Can I call you back? I'm in the middle of stroking one out."

11-25-2003, 05:33 PM	#12 (permalink)
slimshaydee If you've read this, PM me and say so Location: Sitting on my ass, and you?	flogging your log wanking your crank beating your meat spanking your monkey pettin the lil fella wanking masturbating pulling off rubbing one out having a bat a larryup

11-25-2003, 07:38 PM	#13 (permalink)
Jonsgirl Semi-Atomic Location: Home.	What about female masturbation?? No one's gonna talk about pearl diving? __________________ Someday, someone will best me. But it won't be today, and it won't be you.

11-25-2003, 08:32 PM	#14 (permalink)
OFKU0 Junk	I call masturbation the 'bonus of the day.' " And how are you today sir,?" " Not bad thanks, think it's going to be a bonus of the day." __________________ " In Canada, you can tell the most blatant lie in a calm voice, and people will believe you over someone who's a little passionate about the truth." David Warren, Western Standard.

11-25-2003, 08:37 PM	#15 (permalink)
quadro2000 All Possibility, Made Of Custard Location: New York, NY	waxing bobo. __________________ You have to laugh at yourself...because you'd cry your eyes out if you didn't. - Emily Saliers

11-26-2003, 07:26 AM	#19 (permalink)
Jedbeck Crazy Location: Ohio, USA	Going Number 3

11-26-2003, 10:13 AM	#20 (permalink)
digby Crazy Location: Ahh, the lovely South	Plan B __________________ mmmm.... pudding

11-26-2003, 11:20 PM	#25 (permalink)
nanofever Huzzah for Welcome Week, Much beer shall I imbibe. Location: UCSB	Having an evening in with Palmala __________________ I'm leaving for the University of California: Santa Barbara in 5 hours, give me your best college advice - things I need, good ideas, bad ideas, nooky, ect. Originally Posted by Norseman on another forum: "Yeah, the problem with the world is the stupid people are all cocksure of themselves and the intellectuals are full of doubt."

11-25-2003, 09:04 PM	#16 (permalink)
TheFirstDuffMan Tilted	Rock out with the cock out.

11-25-2003, 10:32 PM	#17 (permalink)
guthmund big damn hero	I'm partial to "rubbing one out" or "doing the laundry" An old roommate of mine used to refer to it as "dorking the donkey" Whatever the hell that means. __________________ No signature. None. Seriously.

11-25-2003, 11:42 PM	#18 (permalink)
Stargazer01 Tilted	Thats alot of euphanisms. Personally i just prefer to "whack it" but whatever ><

11-26-2003, 08:01 PM	#23 (permalink)
World's King Here Location: Denver City Denver	The new one I heard today is "taking myself for a walk." __________________ heavy is the head that wears the crown

11-26-2003, 08:31 PM	#24 (permalink)
bobw Psycho Location: somewhere....	He's in the other room "roughin' up the suspect!"

11-28-2003, 04:13 PM	#27 (permalink)
SabrinaFair Junkie Location: Louisville, KY	For myself, I call it rubbing one out or going on a date with BOB, depending on the scenario. When refering to males, I usually refer to it as good old-fashioned jerking off. __________________ "With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy." -Desiderata

11-29-2003, 04:34 PM	#28 (permalink)
stiffy Upright Location: MELBOURNE	Going out with Mrs Palmer and her five daughters! Knocking the top off! Five knuckle shuffle! Belting one off! Poor man's porn! Jerkin the Gerkin! __________________ STIFFY

11-30-2003, 12:05 AM	#29 (permalink)
Dilbert1234567 Devils Cabana Boy Location: Central Coast CA	Well women masturbate too you know: Stirring the troth twiddling the furry grotto polish my pearl giving the bearded lady a poke in the nose saving a spot in hell Beat the beaver Composing on the single key piano Digging a trench Digging for clam Dip your digits Engaging in a hot button issue Fiddle with your middle Fluff your muff The Harmonious hand hump Itch the ditch Ladle out the gravy boat Paddling the pink canoe Play poker Play the clitar Play couch hockey for one Spelunking Split your slit Squeeze the peach Stirring the clam chowder ... ... ... i feel dirty sulks in the shower __________________ Donate Blood! "Love is not finding the perfect person, but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." -Sam Keen

11-30-2003, 01:18 AM	#30 (permalink)
insidious_machinae Psycho	I dunno about slang for masturbation but I call semen "The Swimteam".

12-06-2003, 02:52 PM	#31 (permalink)
monkeysugar I'll be on the veranda, since you're on the cross. Location: Rand McNally's friendliest small town in America. They must have strayed from the dodgy parts...	"Taking matters into your own hands" i.e. There comes a time in every man's life where you just have to take matters into your own hands. __________________ I've got the love of my life and a job that I enjoy most of the time. Life is good.

12-06-2003, 03:59 PM	#32 (permalink)
VF19 Banned Location: back to my old location	choking your chicken, lonely buisness trips.

12-06-2003, 04:16 PM	#33 (permalink)
vonstalhein Insane Location: Where You Live.	Having fun with the gun __________________ No Win No Fee

12-06-2003, 05:13 PM	#34 (permalink)
Baz Psycho Location: North	I got a laugh out of 'pulling my pud' the first time I heard it, but my favourite is "I'm gonna go anger some Catholic Gods..." __________________ - Baz

12-06-2003, 08:31 PM	#35 (permalink)
triad Tilted	shooting the sheriff and waiting for the possy to arive! And a date with Jill - if you put your right hand out with the plam away it spells out jill... hehe

12-07-2003, 12:07 PM	#36 (permalink)
Steenoob Upright	Random generator and the original 14 page list ...and a truly original one: Building my LEGO fortress. __________________ YUM!