Topics of conversation when meeting girls?
 

What are some good topics of conversation when meeting girls? The usual boring where ya from, what you do you do, talk about the weather routine? What other more interesting topics can I talk about?

That depends on the girl I'd say. Try to find out what she's interested in.

For example, I'm interested in politics, programming, computers, AI, music, books, forensics, legal matters etc...

and I'm absolutley not interested in make up, horses, boy bands, popular music, fashion, home making, children or any of that stuff.

I'd give you the advice to talk about things that interest you if you're after something serious. :)

Well I'm a total geek i.e I like computers, video games, anime, eletronic music, etc.. but I also have a creative side such as photography and graphic design.

With all the relationships I had. They just kind of happened. I didn't have to say much to woo them. It was all action. So I'm not quite sure how to meet and talk to girls.

Just be natural and if you are unsure, ask and listen more than talk over them. Put yourself into play a bit and give them something if they show intrest in you and genuinely ask something.

Ask what they do as in study or work. Don't ask 'em to tell more if it's unintresting or they don't want to talk about that stuff at that situation. If you are in a bar or party, food and drinks are always good topics. More than once I've let some man "guide me" to some new drink or even drank whisky which I hate so that teh boys could say "See, wasn't that bad?"

Hit movies usually work. Ask if they've seen it, if not, then skip it cos spoilers are annoying. Movies are also a good and quick source to personality analysing.

If they haven't seen it, ask them to skip out with you to the theatre! Then discuss the movie afterward.
"Oh, you haven't seen it? Would you like to?"

A good topic of conversation is whatever she happens to be doing at the time. She'll tell you what she thinks of it, and if she likes it, you can discuss it more. If not, you can ask her what she'd rather be doing, then talk about that.

I'm not the best source for advice, though. My relationships are usually instant desire coupled with a long listening session to create a quick feeling for her that we've already been going out for ten years.

Find something to make fun of... sarcasm is a great bonding tool. Maybe that sounds sick, but I think that if you both find things that you don't like from the beginning then you'll probably have more in common than if you like the same things but totally different things bother you. So, I start with humor, then I find an interest... for me, literature, philosophy, music, politics, poetry, creative writing in general, pop culture (movies, television, etc), and other personal life stuff (stories, other events going on).

Don't start with intense personal stuff, it is creepy and over-exposure. You have to give room for someone to get to know you, create some mystery about yourself. You have to dangle the carrot a little, when I started to get to know my last girlfriend before we went out I'd end conversations by saying "oooh! next time let me tell you about this ____."

Basically, be creative.

You shouldn't have a list of topics. If you cannot have a simple conversation with her then she isn't going to be a good match for you anyhow. Find one that you can talk to without having to script it.

My $.02

Plan9 is right. Script will only take a conversation so far. I'd say a big thing is timing and context (as is alot of things in life). Look for an in and go with the flow, if both of you guys are feeling it then the conversation can go anywhere. It's amazing really how you can start at something so miniscule and next thing you know its an hour later and you feel like you really know someone.

You really don't even have to have common interests, in fact that can often just be boring if you guys are on the same page about everything... inquiry is key, plus I'm sure the ladies dig it because it shows that you are interested. That shouldn't really be to hard especially if you are genuinely into the girl.

Solid in's for conversations are groups. I know it would be ideal for anyone to just be able to have an intimate conversation with anyone else, but thats just not the reality. Groups are helpful because a lot of the pressure is taken off you, plus its a solid way to establish yourself. Again this has everything to do with the whole idea of not trying to force something.

Anyways I digress...

You can't have a script when approaching a conversation. Questions are one thing, but don't try and the map the whole thing out, thats trying to tame the beast and it is impossible to do. Just look for an in, which you'll be able to gauge for yourself, and go with it. Remember conversation is a two way street, if she isn't feeling it, take a hint and move on, its no biggie and nothing personal (in most cases).

exactly!

Dont enter a conversation with a girl with a script of what you are going to say/not say, just let it happen, and make sure not to talk too much, listen to what she has to say.

I've always found it useful to ask all about them. What topic do people know more about than themselves? As a result, most girls I've encountered enjoy talking about themselves. It's also good because you can learn more about them and figure out if you're really interested or not. So just keep asking them about themselves and you should be ok.

Women's underwear! But that only worked when I introduced a guy friend of mine to a girl very much interested in women's undies. But it formed an instant bond...

scripts are for actors/imposters/charlatans!

open ended questions are the key to a nice long and thorough discussion.

Don't try to script the conversation - it will come off as very weird. The best bet is to ask the girl a lot of questions about herself, what she likes (ask her if she's seen any movies, heard good music, what she's majoring in (for college folk), what her job is and if she likes it, what she wants to do in life, etc.).

Girls, by and large, enjoy talking about themselves, so if you keep asking questions (and I mean asking intelligent ones that build off what she says, so it shows you listen and are caring about it), she'll enjoy the opportunity to talk about herself. That's a conversation that she'll be happy to have, and you're one step closer.

Stay casual .. talk about what's happening just there and then. What they did that day. After you get a connection trough smalltalk you can start talking about more personal stuff.

As for topics.. Music and travelling works very well for me. Most girls find especially travelling fascinating. Oh .. and ask open ended questions as Sleepyjack said. If they give you a short answer such as "I don't know", don't say anything. Just look at them and wait for more. May feel a bit wierd, but you'll kinda make them open up a bit more.

Oh, and stay off car and football talk :P That's a crash and burn .. :)

Well, for me that would shut me right down. I hate being on the spot when meeting new people. If I say something and the guy just sort of looks at me waiting I freak out. I just don't handle it very well.


I just wanted to add that I'm uncomfortable meeting new people in the first place, especially men. I'm trying to figure out why that is :(

Well, of course you don't do that by rule. You have to consider the situation and it's important that you look like you expect a more detailed answer. The second it get's uncomfortable you say something... It's more like giving them time to give a proper answer.

don't script it at all. find out what she likes w/some easy questions. (make sure they're not too personal) when you find out what she is interested in, tell her how incredibly interesting/cool/fascinating it is. people, especially most hot girls, just love talking about themselves. you may have to put up w/them prattling on for a while, but thats the price you pay. eventually if you make them feel good about themselves about how cool you think they are, they will respond to you. you can always bank on appealing to a person's ego.

Find out what they are interested in and talk about that. When I met my wife, she said she was studying __(fill in the blank)__. Lucky for me, I had just seen some show on nationalgeographic, or discovery channel that was about one facet of her studies. I made out like an expert on the subject. I really snowed her, so for me the lesson is "be yourself", but shovel on the B.S. about what she likes.

Worked for me...

Good advice. Now if all they do is talk about themselves and not let you enter into the conversation or ask you about yourself, you have a whole other problem!