If you can't be with the one you love...
 

I'm just wondering, for those of you in happy relationships where you love the person you are dating, did you love them as soon as you met them? Or did they sort of grow on you?

I mean, you probably had enough feelings for the person so you would continue dating. But was the devoted love always there? Or did it grow?

In my case...the love at first sight thing usually fades because it's a purely physical attraction. I didn't even really like my wife the first time I met her but as we hung out more and more she grew on me. So, in other words...it might take time to realize who the person you love really is.

um..witht he girl im in love with right now, we were best friends forever, and we had always had a mutual love, and over time it just grew into somehting else

My life flashed in front of my eyes when I met lurkette. I knew that she was mine and I was hers, and that was the whole story. It hit me like an insight or an intuition.

And then I introduced myself to her.

There's a Rose
In a fisted Glove
And the eagle flies
With the dove
And if you can't be
With the one you love
It's alright
Go ahead and love the one,
Love the one,
Love the one your with
Love the one,
Love the one,
Love the one your with
If your guy can't come to you
And you don't remember
Who your talking to
Your concentration slips away
Because your baby,
She is so so far away
Chorus:
And there's a rose
In a fisted glove
And the eagle flies
With the dove
And if you can't be
With the one you love
Love the one your with
Don't be angry
Don't be sad
Don't sit cryin'
For good times you had
There's a girl right next to you
And she's waiting
For something to do
Chorus:
Do it
Do it
Do it
Turn your heartache into joy
She's a girl and your a boy
Get together, make it tonight,
You ain't gonna need no more advice
Chorus:
Just love the one your with

Sorry, title just reminded me of the song :P

As for your question, I don't think you can love someone right away, outside of a sort of general love one my have for fellow humans. I don't believe in "love at first sight." Love is something you gain by knowing and cherishing a person, which I don't believe is possible when you first meet them.

well the first time i saw my SO is was i think about 3 months old and if im right i was immediately in love heheheheheheheh.... Love at first sight,, i dont think i have ever had, but, LUST at first sight, All the time...

I can honestly say that the very first time I saw my wife I just knew we were going to end up together. At first it was purely a physical attraction, but by acting on that physical attraction, we got to know each other and developed a friendship, then a romantic relationship over the course of about six months. That was more than eight years ago.

Love at first sight does happen, it just happens gradually. :D

We were just fucking, but we grew on each other despite expectations otherwise.

I thought my wife was hot when I first met her but did not think we would end up together. As we spent more and more time together it became very clear that she was the one for me. Luckily she felt the same way.

My wife was cute but nothing I would have gone out of my way to date when we first met. The first date was okay. I didn't have any more prospects at the time, so we went out again and it was love from then on. Strange how these things work.

If you can't be with the one you love... kill them so no one else can either...
....
...
that was my first thought when i read the title...:p

as for your question... my first girlfriend i fell for pretty quick...while we were flirting a lot...

and ariekitten we dated and stuff for a month or so and then i started to realize how i felt about her...

Re: If you can't be with the one you love...
 

yes, i loved him before i met him (irl. we met on the inet abt 3 months b4 the irl meeting).

we started off with that mad infatuated type love, and in the ~1.5 yrs since the irl meeting, it's grown and deepened so much.

:)

hmmm since love is a term that usually is defined by the individual, i will hafta say the three relationships that have been the most meaningful to me, i loved the guy's personality before we even started dating. just being around him, knowing him, seeing his intelligence and everything, and on top of being physically attracted to him. but the real love feeligns came after a little bit. with js, god, i dunno. i thought i loved him right off, but then i realized i didn't. and then gradually i started really feeling it. and then one day, it was like, "whoa. i love this person." :p

Love can grow over time. But I had a feeling this was someone special on our first few dates.

I always knew from the first day i set eyes on her...

if you can't be with the one you love, you don't necassarily have to be alone, you can even fall in love with someone else. But in my experience, I've never forgotten that true love that I left to have sex, albeit great sex, with someone else. In the end it fostered into a relationship, but my heart was elsewhere and henceforth ended disasterously.

I didn't immediately fall in love with my boyfriend. We were in Germany and I took him to a goth club, and just randomly at the end of the night he kissed me, I still don't know why, I know I wouldn't have kissed him.
I'm so glad he did, its been over a year now.

i knew my ex very well could be the "one" for me the day I met her. I fell more and more in love with her as time went on.

now there's that ex part?!

I wanted in my girlfriend's pants the first time I met her. I got into them later, after we had been friends for a while. I knew I loved her by then. Things have been good.

Re: If you can't be with the one you love...
 

Friends for a few years before deciding to fool around a little. Found it was too good to give up.

I pretty much believe infatuation = love at first sight. but that will always fade, when it does you really know if you love the person. at least thats the philosophy I've always gone by.

.... Loved, was loved, still love am no long loved back ....

friends first. now lovers and friends for three years. can't say when it all became "love"...it was gradual, i s'pose. but it's definitely loooooooove!!

it took time
 

I had a couple of relationships that were love at first sight, but soon realized it was infatuation and more physical. My wife on the other hand is someone I want spend an eternity with. It took time and developed into a deep bond that I never felt before. Remember, the sex fades over time (hopefully not for a long, long, long time), and there has to be something left for the twilight years.

Love's a funny thing like that... Love at first sight is often lust, but then, like the poet said, I loved you 'ere I knew your face or name... Often we have a pretty good idea what we WANT to love, whether consciously or not. It's nice when that shows up! I've long stated that love is a selfish and rational thing, and that all works together with the idea of falling quickly. If you've identified your values and goals, falling in love can be VERY fast. As for being with someone else.. That all depends on the relationship with "the one you love". If there's no commitment, either explicit of implied, then there is no reason for expectations either.

......love the one your with

crosby stills nash and young

sorry couldn't resist that one...lol

I knew my ex for a full 2 years online before we were "together". She was a great girl, and over some time I really loved her. One day, I finally broke down and asked her to be my girlfriend. She said yes.

When I met her for the first time in the flesh, at the airport in the town where she lived, I choked back a thousand tears of joy. As soon as our eyes met, I knew she was it. She was my true love. Her opinion was likewise, and she cried like a baby for a while. lol...

Why is she my ex? Despite the love I have for her, and the love she has for me, we became different people over the years we were physically apart. Our personalities no longer mesh like they used to... so that means we either spend some time mending it, or we decide to be friends. I decided we should be friends, as I did not want her to have to "adjust to me". We still talk all the time, every day in fact, and I still love her. I'm not sure if I want to be with her forever, or if my heart is sick and just wants that love and companionship. I still currently see myself dying of old age with her by my side... good luck to all of those who have love... hold onto it for dear life.

The love of my life *girl Im with right now* and hope to be with forever smacked me like an oncoming truck. Imagine me like the confused deer trying to cross the street, the big headlights in my face, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.........


I love that truck, I love her to death :)

I was in the navy had just got out of bootcamp and was going to Electrician school. The first day I arrived I had to wait for the chief to send the others out to different jobs then he would get me all signed in and set-up. As the other group marched away I saw the sexiest ass I have ever seen. I vowed then That I was going to get me some of that.

Over the next 3 weeks I was a total AH I followed her around like a horny puppy. In that time I got to know her and figured I was not going to be getting "any". She tolerated me while at work but other than that would have nothing to do with me.

I decided that I would rather have her as a friend and some one to write to when we went our respective ways after school. So I quit thinking with my johnson and let her get to know the real me. It took only about another week before she fell in love with me.

We married 7 months later and have been together for 13 years now. She knows that her ass was all I wanted and now I get to look at it any time I want. Lust at first sight turned into an incredible relationship with a beautiful woman.

When I met my bf, I didn't think that it was love at first sight. But as we started hanging out more and more, I knew that he was different from anyone else that I had dated. I knew from then on that he was the one I was meant to be with.

I dont throw the word love around easily but the woman Im with now Ive been friends with for years while. She wanted us to date but even though I was attracted to her I didnt want to be with her. Then we started spending a lot more time together and I really got to know her and I realized that she has a lot more depth and substance then I knew about all these years. We've been together offically for a week and so far its been the best relationship Ive had.

I've always just felt that things happen for a reason.
My current girlfriend went to the same high school as I did, we're the same age, however, I did not talk to her much (800 in grad. class/3200 student high school) She also dated the same guy from fresh. year of h.s. to midway through fresh year of college.
I went away to school after high school and then my junior year had a bunch of major classes w/ someone from my high school. I started hanging out w/ her b/c of classes and what not and my current girlfriend was her roommate. We would say hello to each other/chit chat now and then and about 6 months later after a whole semester we just sorta started dating.
Did I have intentions of dating her prior to us hooking up one day in Feb.? Nope. I thought she was cute and fun to be around but never thought it would happen. I guess my rambling point is this, I think things just happen, it's very easy to scare a girl off by trying to hard and being aggressive. On the other hand, some girls want that chase. Therefore, just be yourself, if something happens, it does.