"Honestly Mom, they're not my condoms"--Parents and Sexuality
 

All right. Some recent events in my own life...well, more specifically the life of my boyfriend, have prompted me to start this thread. I won't bore you with details, or delve into the depths of a very stick situation, but basically, my boyfriend's uber-conservative parents have very recently discovered that their eldest son is sexually active. Basically, his mom found his "little black bag" that held Astroglide, a 36-pack of Trojans, and a pair of handcuffs....(let's just say we were playing cops and robbers :D) This has completely changed the dynamic between parents and child, and he's decided it's time to move out. All this over a few jimmy hats...

So the question I pose to you...do your parents know you are sexually active? How old were you when they found out? How did they react?

My mama, in her wisdom, put me on birth control at age 18. Granted, I lost my virginity at 17, and I don't know if she knew that, but she did know that I would be sexually active in college. I thank GOD my mama's cool. She knows that my boyfriend and I have sex...we don't talk about it in great detail, but it's out there, it's not a secret. I don't know what Daddy knows, but he's a smart man. It's sort of a "don't ask, don't tell" kind of situation, which seems to work for all of us.

So anyway...let's hear what y'all have to say.

My parents didn't know I was sexually active until I told them that I'm pregnant. Kinda hard to hide it for very long after that, isn't it? lol

My parent probably know I'm sexually active, but it's nothing we ever discussed. My parents knew me to be responisble enough so they didn't try to control what I did. If I had a girl over at the house, they pretty much left me alone to do what humans were inevetibly meant to do. They were cool about it.

well my mom found out by reading a note she found from my girlfriend at the time... and she got all pissy and said i shouldnt be doing that and whatnot and stormed off...

later she came back and is all "your atleast using protection right?"

anyways she wasnt very happy about it... but shes seemed to get over it... and accepted it as a fact of life... but im sure she'll freak out once my sister starts having sex and then my mom finds out...


and my dads pretty cool about it... just asked if he needed to buy condoms for me... and made some crack about he noticed i had become more manly lately (just to make my mom give him a dirty look)


after reading spived2s' post i figured id add that my mom wouldnt ever let my girlfriend and i out of her sight if we were at my house... it was kinda funny sometimes...

We've never talked about it, but they're not stupid. Well, at least my father probably knew, but he was cool about it. He just reminds me to think with my big head instead of my little one.

Hmm, I think my dad's been suspecting it way longer than I've actually been active, but my mom is a mixture of anxious suspicion and mind-blowing denial!

We NEVER discuss it, but I think Dad assumes I'm like his friends were: crazy and hormone-driven. Mom always grilled me on the subject when I was younger (15 or so) but now that I'm 19, actually with a girl very seriously, and have my own place, it's like she's not suspicious. Strange.

I think it'd be very weird in my family for my parents to know. Just the way they'd react would be too strange.

I live with my dad. I left a CVS bag with condoms inside it lying in my room once and he picked it up and saw condoms inside. Needless to say he never ever went through anything in my room again. Also one time I left my beep thing that goes off once a day to remind you to take your pill at home, and I went to my dorm, we had some laughs about that.

Anyway my dad has sent me to my boyfriend's house to have sex with his 20 years younger girlfriend, and he called me once from a sex store around my house. Its pretty horrible but he doesn't mind me having sex.

My dad knows I'm sexually active and he supports it. He's a smart guy. He's not living life vicariously though me, but rather encouraging me to embrace my sexuality, instincts, and desires.

My mom doesn't have the ability to comprehend things on this level. If she knew she'd want me out. She could never understand.

And so we keep it a secret :)

I'm pretty sure that my parents know my fiance and I are sexually active, but they don't say anything since we have our own home and are getting married in 8 months.

I don't know if my parents know. It's sort of a don't ask don't tell thing with us.

My mom assumes I'm sexually active, as does my dad. Their cool about it but I fear they have more confidence in my sex life than I do :(

My parent's are in the cheerfully-oblivious-becuase-my-eyes-are-closed and-I-don't-want-to-know category.
I'm not exactly sure how they're going to react when I tell them in the spring that I want to live with my boyfreind of a year.

i dont think teh jimmy caps was teh problem, the pack of 36 and the handcuffs may have been, any way he should be open about it with his parrents and should tell them that it is better that he is using condoms rather then unprotected.

I don't discuss my sexuality with anyone unless I'm sleeping with them.

My parents gave me the requisite tools and guided me well enough for them to feel confident in my decisions about sex.

My family tries to hint around the personal questions now and again, but I really don't feel it's any of their business. I can talk about any subject, generally, but specific instances I don't like to talk about. (Does that even make sense?)

If you've seen "high fidelity" there's a scene where he's describing how his one night stand went. To paraphrase, he mentions the song "Behind closed doors" by Charlie Rich and how he that applies to his personal life. I'm sort of like that.

funny i find this thread tonight. the other day, my parents found out i was sexually active. because i thought i might ask for birth control (i'm quite old enough for sex, it's being safe, etc) mom tells dad and in her hushed friggen voice i hate, tells me that dad says if i want that, i might as well get *married*!

that pissed me off beyond belief.
and they complain i never tell them anything..

:lol: so are mine.

Chances are your parents know. This goes for everyone over the age of 18 (maybe younger).

They may be in denial but they know.

Just remember that they were your age once and they too were a ball of raging hormones looking to get laid (both Mom and Dad).

Given I've been married for eight years, I'm guessing they've figured it out. But that's not what I'm posting about.

The very first time lurkette came home with me for a school break, my mother sat us down and had this excruciating talk with us about being safe.... It was really, really horrible. I know she was trying to do a good thing, but lurkette was really upset afterward, worried about what my mom thought of her, the whole thing.

It was just another on the heap of Moments of Parental Embarassment for me, so I rebounded pretty quick. ;-)

My parents know I am. My dad walked in on us both half-naked once just lounging around in bed. We weren't doing anything, but I didn't have a shirt on. He knocked, I said 'Hang on a sec!' and he just walked straight in asking what was for dinner. He backed out quickly and never said another word :-)

When I was eighteen I slept over at my girlfriend's apartment, she slept here, we did it all the time. I never made a secret of it, I'd just say 'I'm crashing at her place' or 'Shes crashing here.' My mother never said a word about it, and she's never acted strange about anything like that. When we come out the next morning to get breakfast there's nothing weird. I live at home, and my girlfriend and I often shower here together an nobody bats an eyelid.

If my younger sister has a guy in her room and the door any less than half open then my parents would put a stop to that in a heartbeat. Double standards at work, eh?

the closest my girlfriend's parents have found out that we're having sex is when she got a UTI. the doctor blatantly asked her parents "Is she sexually active?". Her mom said "I dont think so, well...at least I dont think they've reached that level yet!".

Yet?


Thankfully, we blamed the UTI (the doctors fibbed a little bit, they know we didnt want her parents to know) and blamed it on bacteria in some underwear. Whew. Close one.


My parents are both sexually active. How do I know? Ive seen the condoms.

And the viagra.

Thats one thing you dont want to find when looking for q-tips in their bathroom. unngghghh.

no...just no...

Well, my folks are deceased, so I figure they know now. :D

When dating my wife, her mom found a rubber. It was in her parent's bed and she accused my wife and I of having sex. My wife, with a straight face mind you, says, "Aren't those dad's?" She had to bite her tongue and not inform her mom that we weren't using condoms. Her folks HAD to know, but, they never said anything.

I hate to say this, but parents like these are ones that help to cause their children to be ignorant of sex. My wife and I believe in being open (to a point) with our children. We believe that if they are informed that they will take the proper precautions. My own parents were swingers although they tried to hide it from us. They never talked to us about sex (either birth control or condom usage). I basically learned about sex from just trying it out (I was 17 when I lost my virginity). I don't recall ever talking to them about it.

lol, same here, bermuDa. My parents knew I was sexually active in my last relationship (though her father didn't), but since the end of that, I've been pretty much one-handing it, so to speak. Did that cross the "too much info" line?

Still, they think I'm a true player or something, 'cause both call me incessantly and ask how the dating scene's going... It's truly kind of strange.

When I went away to college, my Dad gave a "care package" which included condoms.
The funny thing was - this was in the 70s - every girl was on the pill, and "safe sex" back then meant "not when her husband is in town."

I never used a single one, but I thought at the time that it was pretty cool of him to be looking out for me.

Yeah, given that I'm 41, 8 years into my second mariage, have a 16 year old daughter and a 1 year old son...I think that Mom and Dad might suspect that I'm "active".

Besides, I remember my dad finding my empty box of condoms in the back of my car, when we were working on it, back in...oh...1979, I think. He never said a word though.

While my folks were alive, they just told me to be careful. I believe, or at least want to believe, that they had confidence in me to make the right choice. Never got the "Big Sex Talk" but was told to be careful on more than one occasion. This usually happened when the hickies appeared.

My folks and i never really talked about sex at all until my dad found a condom wrapper in a pair of my jeans. Then, the talk basically consisted of "well, it's good you're using these".

Some parents are just different.

I have that beat. Not only have I heard my parents having sex, but in the course of my life I have quite by accident found video and magazine porn, a large rubber dildo, condoms, and what I think was a diaphragm, although I was really young at the time I found it.

Then, while looking for something in my grandparents bathroom, I saw Poppy's Viagra. Oh dear Christ....my grandparents are getting it on.

And hopefully, so will all of us when we're their age.

My mom took off when i was 7 and I really cant much blame her.
Tells you alot about ol dad.. In my case my father finding out about me having sex, he was not unhappy, i sure he was figuring out how to better utillize me to raise money for his political cronies in this San Francisco...

had a girl over when my parents were away...and i in a moment of stupidity mentioned to them that she crashed at our house...why i did that, i may never, ever know....

they were upset, but they also had no idea what happened. They may still think that more happened, or less...and i don't think i'll ever ask them what they think went down...

Heh... funny story about that.
My parents don't actually know (well, I'm sure they assume, but they are strictly of the don't ask school)
However, my girlfriend's parents... she actually told them, but for a while I've suspected that they've been in denial. They acknowledge it (in words), but any time we even hold hands in front of them, they get really uncomfortable. That changed this morning.
See, last night for Halloween, my girlfriend dressed up as a "sexy witch" and went to a concert with her friend. I didn't want to go to the concert, but I still felt like dressing up, so I decided to make myself up as a Chippendale (makeup and everything =D ) and pay her a little surprise visit after she got home. So this morning, her dad called and asked if she wanted to go to lunch. She said sure, and about half an hour before they were going to meet, my girlfriend just decided to give me head, out of the blue. It was wonderful, and as soon as she left I fell immediately asleep.
About an hour later, I woke up with her and her dad in the room. I didn't have any clothes on, and I hadn't really cleaned myself up. I was like "sup."
So, he had to acknowledge it. His face was a little red :D

My mom (who's the one who raised me)
has got a good sense of mind about this.
She respects that I'm sexually active, and has never minded as long as I'm responsible about this.
Even though my sister is younger, she started earlier than me.
Mom tried to make her a bit more aware as she went through the roller-coaster of life.
She seemed to have more "hiccups" than me...but then again she was more active earlier,
I took more time to start up into my later teens, but I caught up over time.
Now she is the responsible mother, and I'm still the footloose single one.

My dad...well let's just say the first words of advice to me at 14
"Remember son, the clit...always focus on the clit"
and then took me into a peep show in NYC.
Needless to say...he's a little more "open" than normal,
and my mom did not appreciate this little venture.

The reverse is true, my sister and I are very aware that our parents have sexual natures,
and respect it...
it all about that, being responsible, and keeping things private.
We are not in denial, just respectful.

um, my parents kindof sortof knew during high school. I didn't advertise it, but I didn't hide anything either. After I got into college, I occasionally have conversations about my sex life (I needed birth control advice once) or they will make sure that I am 'safe', etc.

i'm not really sure my parents knew about sex with my first girlfriend... and i don't know about my second, although I think they still assumed not, but my most recent girlfriend... they HAVE to. There were several times I'd thought they'd gone to bed and gotten it on, to later find my dad still sitting in his chair in the livingroom, which is the next room over.

That, and the constant deep hickies probably helped a little. ;)

my parents were totally aware that i was sexually active back in school.

in fact, every time i went out my dad used to remind me,

¨its not on, if its not on.¨

seriously, i doubt any parent is unaware of their childrens sex lives.
they were once your age. its more than likely they did the same thing, and also thought their parents had no idea.
its a friendly cycle of love and naivety.

after my first gf i think my mom just naturally assumed i was sexually active because we were together for the better part of a year... the tricky part i find isn't hiding it from my mom but actually feeling okay bringing a girl home, i always feel kinda weird about it. like shes going to get pissed off im fooling around with someone under her roof or something :p

It's none of my business to know if my parents are sexually active and vice versa.

my dad when he was alive (r.i.p.) would tell me to have fun but be careful. my mom didnt really care...


i bring women home.. my mom says hi.. and thats that :)


life is looking up every day :P

At the age of 14 or 15 my dad gave me a pack of condoms and told me that i might as well be safe.

Funny thing is, now at the age of 19 i'm still virgin :)