non-exclusive relationship - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

elfuq · 10-01-2003, 06:47 PM

Was a one-night stand, but then I called her again

Was a 'fuck-buddy', but then we spent more time hanging out and doing things together

Was a 'friend-with-benefits' but then we've admitted to liking each other rather more than that

But it's definitely not exclusive. No one's cheating, it's very open between us that each of us can and does play around elsewhere.

It's so very San Francisco, ya know?

skysooner · 10-01-2003, 06:50 PM

Who knows where it will lead? I know this couple that lives in Texas and were originally from Oregon. Her mother told her before she was married to always keep the marriage open but to love each other. They have had an open marriage for almost 25 years, and they still seem to be very in love.

Harshaw · 10-01-2003, 07:31 PM

I could maybe do the open-relationship thing if the person I was in the relationship with lived in a different state. I don't know if I could do it if they lived in the same state.

analog · 10-01-2003, 08:19 PM

well, she may or may not be having sex with anyone else. if she's not, she most likely has dropped the ball in your court, as a test. You either say, "yeah cool, i can fuck anyone i want" or "i only have eyes for you, babe *wink*" See what I mean? If she admits to feelings for you, she may just be looking for you to commit on your own.

vveronica · 10-02-2003, 08:16 AM

Being in the SF area..... yeah So? Sounds like a fun relationship to me!

elfuq · 10-02-2003, 11:07 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by analog
well, she may or may not be having sex with anyone else. if she's not, she most likely has dropped the ball in your court, as a test. You either say, "yeah cool, i can fuck anyone i want" or "i only have eyes for you, babe *wink*" See what I mean? If she admits to feelings for you, she may just be looking for you to commit on your own.

Nah, way too much discussion has gone into this and it's been going on too long. I find it a little strange, but we're having fun. Who am I to argue?

elfuq · 10-02-2003, 11:08 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by vveronica
Being in the SF area..... yeah So?

Well this is the home of alternative lifestyles, were you at Folsom Street this weekend?

little limey · 10-02-2003, 04:25 PM

I think that being like that will keep the relationship exciting and new.
Have fun ^_^

NetterButter · 10-02-2003, 05:20 PM

how funny, thats how my relationship started...exactly the same freakin way...3 years later, we are livin together, married, and realized...it was meant to be.

numist_net · 10-02-2003, 06:20 PM

I don't really think I could do that, I'm an exclusive kind of guy, but if it works for you, thats what really matters.

Stare At The Sun · 10-03-2003, 06:55 AM

Yeah, i'd have issues with that too, i dont see that working out, unless you really dont care, i see jealousy setting in eventually, etc etc. Be careful, but have fun!

anti fishstick · 10-03-2003, 01:26 PM

i'm kind of the jealous type so i don't know if i could handle that. yet at the same time.. it seems kinda appealing. i mean, then all this shit about being jealous whenever i just HANG OUT with a guy would dissapear. i always seem to date insecure types who can't even handle that.

xaneidolon · 10-03-2003, 01:59 PM

My bet is she is being exclusive...go for it...just be safe so you don't catch anything.

clavus · 10-03-2003, 02:34 PM

I had a great 5 year relationship like that. I ended up married to one of the girls I did "on the side." If it wasn't for the open relationship I had with my girlfriend, I might have never married my wife.

Now that certainly sounds odd, doesn't it?

Dale Kemp · 10-03-2003, 02:40 PM

Once, for a very brief time, I had two lovers during the same period. WOW. Did it ever arouse me. I was more passionate with each of them than I was with either without the overlap.

So my experience says this is a major turn on thing, to have some regular closeness and some roamin' to boot.

But look, man. This is not the usual way to court a lady, or find a spouse. If you do get to long term, be very careful to define the terms of your relationship.

And like Xaneidolon said, be careful hygenically.

sexymama · 10-05-2003, 11:59 AM

Don't be too quick to judge -- there are a lot of successful couples out there with open relationships. Check out some polygamy websites to see if it may work for you. It sounds like the two of you are fairly secure with one another, so why not?

As for me, I'm not into sharing my man; but I respect everyone's right to make their own best choice!

10-01-2003, 06:47 PM	#1 (permalink)
elfuq Insane Location: San Francisco	non-exclusive relationship Was a one-night stand, but then I called her again Was a 'fuck-buddy', but then we spent more time hanging out and doing things together Was a 'friend-with-benefits' but then we've admitted to liking each other rather more than that But it's definitely not exclusive. No one's cheating, it's very open between us that each of us can and does play around elsewhere. It's so very San Francisco, ya know?

10-01-2003, 07:31 PM	#3 (permalink)
Harshaw Is mad at you. Location: Bored in Sacramento	I could maybe do the open-relationship thing if the person I was in the relationship with lived in a different state. I don't know if I could do it if they lived in the same state. __________________ This too shall pass.

10-02-2003, 08:16 AM	#5 (permalink)
vveronica Psycho Location: northern california	Being in the SF area..... yeah So? Sounds like a fun relationship to me! __________________ ...We find ourselves in a struggle for our very right to exsist... We will not go quietly into the night... We will not give up without a fight...

10-02-2003, 05:20 PM	#9 (permalink)
NetterButter Crazy Location: in a hole, ventura county,cali	how funny, thats how my relationship started...exactly the same freakin way...3 years later, we are livin together, married, and realized...it was meant to be. __________________ www.holeinthe.net

10-03-2003, 01:26 PM	#12 (permalink)
anti fishstick Post-modernism meets Individualism AKA the Clash Location: oregon	i'm kind of the jealous type so i don't know if i could handle that. yet at the same time.. it seems kinda appealing. i mean, then all this shit about being jealous whenever i just HANG OUT with a guy would dissapear. i always seem to date insecure types who can't even handle that. __________________ And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~Anais Nin

10-01-2003, 06:50 PM	#2 (permalink)
skysooner Registered User Location: Oklahoma	Who knows where it will lead? I know this couple that lives in Texas and were originally from Oregon. Her mother told her before she was married to always keep the marriage open but to love each other. They have had an open marriage for almost 25 years, and they still seem to be very in love.

10-01-2003, 08:19 PM	#4 (permalink)
analog Banned	well, she may or may not be having sex with anyone else. if she's not, she most likely has dropped the ball in your court, as a test. You either say, "yeah cool, i can fuck anyone i want" or "i only have eyes for you, babe wink" See what I mean? If she admits to feelings for you, she may just be looking for you to commit on your own.

10-02-2003, 04:25 PM	#8 (permalink)
little limey Psycho Location: Room Nineteen	I think that being like that will keep the relationship exciting and new. Have fun ^_^

10-02-2003, 06:20 PM	#10 (permalink)
numist_net Banned Location: UCSD	I don't really think I could do that, I'm an exclusive kind of guy, but if it works for you, thats what really matters.

10-03-2003, 06:55 AM	#11 (permalink)
Stare At The Sun Eh? Location: Somewhere over the rainbow	Yeah, i'd have issues with that too, i dont see that working out, unless you really dont care, i see jealousy setting in eventually, etc etc. Be careful, but have fun!

10-03-2003, 01:59 PM	#13 (permalink)
xaneidolon Tilted	My bet is she is being exclusive...go for it...just be safe so you don't catch anything.

10-03-2003, 02:34 PM	#14 (permalink)
clavus pow! Location: NorCal	I had a great 5 year relationship like that. I ended up married to one of the girls I did "on the side." If it wasn't for the open relationship I had with my girlfriend, I might have never married my wife. Now that certainly sounds odd, doesn't it? __________________ Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.

10-03-2003, 02:40 PM	#15 (permalink)
Dale Kemp Crazy Location: New Mexico	Once, for a very brief time, I had two lovers during the same period. WOW. Did it ever arouse me. I was more passionate with each of them than I was with either without the overlap. So my experience says this is a major turn on thing, to have some regular closeness and some roamin' to boot. But look, man. This is not the usual way to court a lady, or find a spouse. If you do get to long term, be very careful to define the terms of your relationship. And like Xaneidolon said, be careful hygenically. __________________ Trueheart

10-05-2003, 11:59 AM	#16 (permalink)
sexymama My own person -- his by choice Location: Lebell's arms	Don't be too quick to judge -- there are a lot of successful couples out there with open relationships. Check out some polygamy websites to see if it may work for you. It sounds like the two of you are fairly secure with one another, so why not? As for me, I'm not into sharing my man; but I respect everyone's right to make their own best choice! __________________ If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.