Date Ideas? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Radio Monk33 · 04-24-2003, 03:29 PM

Well amazingly enough, I've finally managed to get into a relationship. We've gone out together and gotten fairly close. But apparently I have to ask her out on a "formal date" instead of just doing stuff together. So what have you guys done for a first date? Any ideas? Thanks in advance.

Golux · 04-24-2003, 10:21 PM

I suppose that the first date options are limited by what city you live in and what there is to do in it. For example the last girl that I dated (to be known as I-330 for reasons of needless pretension) I met at a club here in town, and it just so happened that the same club was having a concert the next day, so because it was a.) the club was something we had in common, b.) so was the music to some extent, and c.) cheap, I asked if she would like to go with me. She accepted and after the concert (a synth-darkwave band so it wasn't mosh pits or anything) we went out for breakfast to a neat little all night diner which provided a nice atmosphere for us to talk. I think all in all I got pretty lucky with the circumstances working out to my advantage, but it was a nice evening. After we ate we talked for many hours and we went to our separate homes, and she called me the next day. So, it worked out. What made that date a success in my mind was that the places that we went had quite a bit of personality of their own. The club that we were at is the only club I frequent here in town and has a charm and atmosphere that I liked, the restaurant wasn't as impersonal as a chain store like Olive Garden and had a lot of personality to it, and because the places where reflections of where I liked to be, I was comfortable and it provides at least a bit of an idea of what I'm like to the girl.

However... (and there is always a however) depending on how much you guys know each other there might not be a need to reflect yourself in your surroundings, but it still couldn't hurt. Just make her feel special. Open the doors for her, (trust me, It goes a long way) let her know she is beautiful, (and she always is) and listen to her and no matter what you do (barring strip clubs and sports bars) she will be happy, and that's what's important anyway.

h.s.skip · 04-24-2003, 11:54 PM

Well, I'll give you my first date ever.

The girl and I are in college, so I went over to her dorm to pick her up. I don't have a car, but I borrowed my friend's for the night (which I told her). I took her a slightly formal restaurant in the "night-life" part of the city (South Side in Pittsburgh). We had dinner, wine, all paid for by me. Then we headed over to the Blues bar next door where we took in some pretty damn good music, and had a drink or two. Then we drove over to the clubs and had some fun dancing. The music was pretty bad there, so we left pretty soon, and headed back to my room, where I had two wine glasses with a rose between them waiting, and chilled wine. We opened that up, had some fun talking, then.. well, I'll leave the rest up to your imagination.

Maybe that will give you some inspiration

christophagust · 04-25-2003, 12:05 AM

I never went on a formal date with my longest term (also first) girlfriend until amazingly after a year after our breakup. We were always too... busy doing other fun things in our year long relationship. Anyway, back to the question, pick out something that you don't get to do much or that she may think is exiting. Dinner seems to be somewhat of a standard thing, it is good because you can talk to each other.
In reality it is a case by case basis, some girls want to go to a club because they haven't ever gone but other girls want to go to a play. The question to ask is what would be fun for her, but wouldn't put you to sleep and hopefully you would enjoy too.

Antagony · 04-25-2003, 12:38 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by h.s.skip

The girl and I are in college, so I went over to her dorm to pick her up. I don't have a car, but I borrowed my friend's for the night (which I told her). I took her a slightly formal restaurant in the "night-life" part of the city (South Side in Pittsburgh). We had dinner, wine, all paid for by me. Then we headed over to the Blues bar next door where we took in some pretty damn good music, and had a drink or two. Then we drove over to the clubs and had some fun dancing. The music was pretty bad there, so we left pretty soon, and headed back to my room, where I had two wine glasses with a rose between them waiting, and chilled wine. We opened that up, had some fun talking, then.. well, I'll leave the rest up to your imagination.

. . . and then you guys played some games on your PlayStation 2 and then you got out your wizard costume and declared yourself to be GALTHAR THE IMPENETRABLE, and then she showed you how she has double-jointed fingers, and then your midget friends came over and you all did LSD! Then the police showed up and busted the midgets, but you guys played it cool and got off. Then she decided to go home and you gave her a kiss on the cheek like a true gentleman!

rsl12 · 04-25-2003, 09:01 AM

...and she spent the rest of the night organizing all the phone numbers she received from the midgets.

synkron · 04-25-2003, 11:14 AM

Antagony, that was fabuluous. I bet that's almost EXACTLY how it happened for h.s. ...

analog · 04-25-2003, 11:43 AM

BE WEARY, MY FRIEND, BE WEARY!!

Here's why I say this- when a girl who you've hung out with several times asks for a "formal date", she's testing your bounds. Apparently what you've shown her so far is that you're fun, interesting, etc. but you're not serious enough. She's of the impression that you think life is all fun and games, and that scares a lot of girls- because that attitude doesn't make you "husband" or "daddy" material, you get my drift? She's making sure that you can apply a level head when the time is right, be Serious Sam when you need to be, and that you have the ability to calm yourself in general. If she's been hanging out and asks for this, it might be because she fears you have no commitment potential and wants to see how solid a guy you are. Good luck.

Oh, and for date ideas- in your case, I would take her somewhere nice, but where you can still be YOURSELF- so not too nice... i'm not talking a kids' restaraunt or anything, but somewhere you can showcase the real you and make her feel like she's being taken out properly. Important- don't try and act differently, be true to yourself- don't be a calm version of yourself just to make her happy, or you'll start getting trapped into acting that way all the time. (no, i'm not talking from angst-riddled experience of anything. lol)

Radio Monk33 · 04-25-2003, 11:22 PM

Thanks for the advice and warnings guys...

Yeah, as for the formal date thing...I'm a n00b when it comes to relationships, we're pretty close and have kissed each other(lol not on the lips though). I'm kind of timid and have never done it before..

And I'll keep my eyes open for those midgets

riptide4070 · 04-26-2003, 08:38 AM

Eat a cheap dinner or make dinner for your girl. One hour or half an hour before a pretty nice restaurant closes, go in and only order dessert! I know a few ladies think of the dessert as being romantic or they're just happy because it is a delightful change from routine dating.

zfleebin · 04-27-2003, 04:04 PM

Its not about how much you spend its about how much effort you put into it. I mean you can take her anywhere as long as you show her you put time into it. Personally, I would scope out a couple restaurants around the area where you live. Then when you have one that you think will work for you go in and have lunch or dinner by yourself and watch the waiters/waitresses. Pay close attention to them cause a rude server can make or break a nice meal. Once you find the waiter or waitress who seems the classiest and nicest write down there name and find when they work. Set up your date with at least a week in advance so that you can find out what tricks you would like to do. If you can make reservations well before hand and pick out a specific table. Its always good to the 2 or3 best meals they have and one exotic one(such as lamb, duck or something to wow the girl with). Nice restaurants(this is only if you have the dough) will let you request a server and youll already have one and if your super smooth you can go to the restaurant before you pick her up and put some flowers or a nice centerpiece on your table. Pick her up 15 min early so that you can chat and tell her a little about the restaurant your going to(she might want to change her outfit or shoes or something). When you arrive at the restaurant make sure there is no confusion as to your server and table. If she doesnt know what to order give her suggestions and know what your talking about. Ask her if she wants to try something unique and tell her a little about the exotic plate you know about(important thing never suggest something that you havent tried a version of). Other than that play it smooth only choose wine that goes well with your food and do not get her drunk there(bad taste not classy). When dinner is over ask her if she would like to accompany you home for drinks. Finally, always have the number of a taxi at easy access this makes it so if she denies you there is less time to feel awkward and you dont have to drive drunk. Long story short I am anything but attractive but I have used these techniques to get beautiful women. Confidence is key and class is a state of mind. good luck

rsl12 · 04-28-2003, 11:17 AM

do something you like to do. if you try and do something you think *she* likes to do but you hate, you will be bored/irritated and she will get the vibe.

Captain Canada · 04-28-2003, 11:49 AM

Well, for my first date with my girlfriend I asked her to go to this place Beanstreets here in Asheville. Its a really cool coffee shop. So we just had some coffee and talked on our first date.

null_duality · 04-30-2003, 11:49 AM

get a laptop with a DVDrom and a decent battery,
find some nice secluded woods on a warm summer night.
movie and blankets.......

Slims · 05-01-2003, 10:56 PM

By formal, do you mean fancy? or just an actual, certifiable date?

here are a couple of ideas for either:

1. Get some nice wine, some arbor mist in case she doesn't like wine, and some soda if she doesn' t drink (better to cover your bases until you know her more). Some nice cheese with crackers, apples to slice up, a main course, and some nice dessert. Stash all this stuff with everything else you would need for a nice picnic (don't forget the candles) near the most scenic location you can find.
Then go with her on a hike and when you get to the water fall, scenic vista, etc., whip out the picnic supplies from behind a bush and bask in the beauty of nature and her affection.

2. If you live near a city, dress up, take her out to a nice dinner and then go see a play.

3. Cook a nice dinner. Then get all dressed up, pick her up, and take her back to your place. Eat the dinner and watch her favorite movie.

4. If you are a couple of hours away from the beach, drive her out there to see the sunrise/set.

5. Take her to an animal shelter (not a pound, but a no kill shelter). Let her walk the dogs and play with the cats.

6. Be creative. Just about any sincere effort to please her should do the trick.

Good luck!

Mad_Gecko · 05-03-2003, 01:39 AM

Food works

I usually for a first date goto a "reasonable" restaurant , not one thats too over the top, but not one thats cheesy either. Find out what her tastes are like and match the restaurant accordingly.
Try not to be too formal it can be uncomfortable for the both of you.

Also if its someone I have known for while I try to do something that they aren't expecting. i once took this bird to an Arcade (although a preppy version of an arcade), and she loved it. It mightta been the fact that she trounced me at MotoGP and ALL the fightin' games. But I got her back at the skittles. Point is we both had FUN and neither one of us felt like we were on show.

The key is making the girl feel like your interested in her and making her feel comfortable to be with you.

Good Luck

04-24-2003, 03:29 PM	#1 (permalink)
Radio Monk33 Psycho	Date Ideas? Well amazingly enough, I've finally managed to get into a relationship. We've gone out together and gotten fairly close. But apparently I have to ask her out on a "formal date" instead of just doing stuff together. So what have you guys done for a first date? Any ideas? Thanks in advance. __________________ "Punk rock had this cool, political personal message. It was a bit more cerebral than just stupid cock rock, you know" -Kurt Cobain

04-24-2003, 11:54 PM	#3 (permalink)
h.s.skip Upright	My first date Well, I'll give you my first date ever. The girl and I are in college, so I went over to her dorm to pick her up. I don't have a car, but I borrowed my friend's for the night (which I told her). I took her a slightly formal restaurant in the "night-life" part of the city (South Side in Pittsburgh). We had dinner, wine, all paid for by me. Then we headed over to the Blues bar next door where we took in some pretty damn good music, and had a drink or two. Then we drove over to the clubs and had some fun dancing. The music was pretty bad there, so we left pretty soon, and headed back to my room, where I had two wine glasses with a rose between them waiting, and chilled wine. We opened that up, had some fun talking, then.. well, I'll leave the rest up to your imagination. Maybe that will give you some inspiration

04-25-2003, 12:05 AM	#4 (permalink)
christophagust Upright Location: pittsburgh, so to be elsewhere	I never went on a formal date with my longest term (also first) girlfriend until amazingly after a year after our breakup. We were always too... busy doing other fun things in our year long relationship. Anyway, back to the question, pick out something that you don't get to do much or that she may think is exiting. Dinner seems to be somewhat of a standard thing, it is good because you can talk to each other. In reality it is a case by case basis, some girls want to go to a club because they haven't ever gone but other girls want to go to a play. The question to ask is what would be fun for her, but wouldn't put you to sleep and hopefully you would enjoy too. __________________ who dares wins... and sometimes loses

04-25-2003, 09:01 AM	#6 (permalink)
rsl12 On the lam Location: northern va	...and she spent the rest of the night organizing all the phone numbers she received from the midgets. __________________ oh baby oh baby, i like gravy.

04-25-2003, 11:22 PM	#9 (permalink)
Radio Monk33 Psycho	Thanks for the advice and warnings guys... Yeah, as for the formal date thing...I'm a n00b when it comes to relationships, we're pretty close and have kissed each other(lol not on the lips though). I'm kind of timid and have never done it before.. And I'll keep my eyes open for those midgets __________________ "Punk rock had this cool, political personal message. It was a bit more cerebral than just stupid cock rock, you know" -Kurt Cobain

04-24-2003, 10:21 PM	#2 (permalink)
Golux Tilted Location: This side of heaven.	I suppose that the first date options are limited by what city you live in and what there is to do in it. For example the last girl that I dated (to be known as I-330 for reasons of needless pretension) I met at a club here in town, and it just so happened that the same club was having a concert the next day, so because it was a.) the club was something we had in common, b.) so was the music to some extent, and c.) cheap, I asked if she would like to go with me. She accepted and after the concert (a synth-darkwave band so it wasn't mosh pits or anything) we went out for breakfast to a neat little all night diner which provided a nice atmosphere for us to talk. I think all in all I got pretty lucky with the circumstances working out to my advantage, but it was a nice evening. After we ate we talked for many hours and we went to our separate homes, and she called me the next day. So, it worked out. What made that date a success in my mind was that the places that we went had quite a bit of personality of their own. The club that we were at is the only club I frequent here in town and has a charm and atmosphere that I liked, the restaurant wasn't as impersonal as a chain store like Olive Garden and had a lot of personality to it, and because the places where reflections of where I liked to be, I was comfortable and it provides at least a bit of an idea of what I'm like to the girl. However... (and there is always a however) depending on how much you guys know each other there might not be a need to reflect yourself in your surroundings, but it still couldn't hurt. Just make her feel special. Open the doors for her, (trust me, It goes a long way) let her know she is beautiful, (and she always is) and listen to her and no matter what you do (barring strip clubs and sports bars) she will be happy, and that's what's important anyway.

04-25-2003, 11:14 AM	#7 (permalink)
synkron Crazy Location: in the midst of a dissociative fugue	Antagony, that was fabuluous. I bet that's almost EXACTLY how it happened for h.s. ...

04-25-2003, 11:43 AM	#8 (permalink)
analog Banned	BE WEARY, MY FRIEND, BE WEARY!! Here's why I say this- when a girl who you've hung out with several times asks for a "formal date", she's testing your bounds. Apparently what you've shown her so far is that you're fun, interesting, etc. but you're not serious enough. She's of the impression that you think life is all fun and games, and that scares a lot of girls- because that attitude doesn't make you "husband" or "daddy" material, you get my drift? She's making sure that you can apply a level head when the time is right, be Serious Sam when you need to be, and that you have the ability to calm yourself in general. If she's been hanging out and asks for this, it might be because she fears you have no commitment potential and wants to see how solid a guy you are. Good luck. Oh, and for date ideas- in your case, I would take her somewhere nice, but where you can still be YOURSELF- so not too nice... i'm not talking a kids' restaraunt or anything, but somewhere you can showcase the real you and make her feel like she's being taken out properly. Important- don't try and act differently, be true to yourself- don't be a calm version of yourself just to make her happy, or you'll start getting trapped into acting that way all the time. (no, i'm not talking from angst-riddled experience of anything. lol)

04-26-2003, 08:38 AM	#10 (permalink)
riptide4070 Addict Location: Boone, NC	Eat a cheap dinner or make dinner for your girl. One hour or half an hour before a pretty nice restaurant closes, go in and only order dessert! I know a few ladies think of the dessert as being romantic or they're just happy because it is a delightful change from routine dating. __________________ "the greatest trick the devil ever pulled, was making the world believe he didn't exist" -Kevin Spacey 'The Usual Suspects'

04-27-2003, 04:04 PM	#11 (permalink)
zfleebin Addict	Its not about how much you spend its about how much effort you put into it. I mean you can take her anywhere as long as you show her you put time into it. Personally, I would scope out a couple restaurants around the area where you live. Then when you have one that you think will work for you go in and have lunch or dinner by yourself and watch the waiters/waitresses. Pay close attention to them cause a rude server can make or break a nice meal. Once you find the waiter or waitress who seems the classiest and nicest write down there name and find when they work. Set up your date with at least a week in advance so that you can find out what tricks you would like to do. If you can make reservations well before hand and pick out a specific table. Its always good to the 2 or3 best meals they have and one exotic one(such as lamb, duck or something to wow the girl with). Nice restaurants(this is only if you have the dough) will let you request a server and youll already have one and if your super smooth you can go to the restaurant before you pick her up and put some flowers or a nice centerpiece on your table. Pick her up 15 min early so that you can chat and tell her a little about the restaurant your going to(she might want to change her outfit or shoes or something). When you arrive at the restaurant make sure there is no confusion as to your server and table. If she doesnt know what to order give her suggestions and know what your talking about. Ask her if she wants to try something unique and tell her a little about the exotic plate you know about(important thing never suggest something that you havent tried a version of). Other than that play it smooth only choose wine that goes well with your food and do not get her drunk there(bad taste not classy). When dinner is over ask her if she would like to accompany you home for drinks. Finally, always have the number of a taxi at easy access this makes it so if she denies you there is less time to feel awkward and you dont have to drive drunk. Long story short I am anything but attractive but I have used these techniques to get beautiful women. Confidence is key and class is a state of mind. good luck

04-28-2003, 11:17 AM	#12 (permalink)
rsl12 On the lam Location: northern va	do something you like to do. if you try and do something you think she likes to do but you hate, you will be bored/irritated and she will get the vibe. __________________ oh baby oh baby, i like gravy.

04-28-2003, 11:49 AM	#13 (permalink)
Captain Canada Addict Location: University of North Carolina at Greensboro	Well, for my first date with my girlfriend I asked her to go to this place Beanstreets here in Asheville. Its a really cool coffee shop. So we just had some coffee and talked on our first date.

04-30-2003, 11:49 AM	#14 (permalink)
null_duality Tilted	get a laptop with a DVDrom and a decent battery, find some nice secluded woods on a warm summer night. movie and blankets.......

05-01-2003, 10:56 PM	#15 (permalink)
Slims Eccentric insomniac Location: North Carolina	By formal, do you mean fancy? or just an actual, certifiable date? here are a couple of ideas for either: 1. Get some nice wine, some arbor mist in case she doesn't like wine, and some soda if she doesn' t drink (better to cover your bases until you know her more). Some nice cheese with crackers, apples to slice up, a main course, and some nice dessert. Stash all this stuff with everything else you would need for a nice picnic (don't forget the candles) near the most scenic location you can find. Then go with her on a hike and when you get to the water fall, scenic vista, etc., whip out the picnic supplies from behind a bush and bask in the beauty of nature and her affection. 2. If you live near a city, dress up, take her out to a nice dinner and then go see a play. 3. Cook a nice dinner. Then get all dressed up, pick her up, and take her back to your place. Eat the dinner and watch her favorite movie. 4. If you are a couple of hours away from the beach, drive her out there to see the sunrise/set. 5. Take her to an animal shelter (not a pound, but a no kill shelter). Let her walk the dogs and play with the cats. 6. Be creative. Just about any sincere effort to please her should do the trick. Good luck! __________________ "Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill "All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." Seven Pillars of Wisdom, T.E. Lawrence

05-03-2003, 01:39 AM	#16 (permalink)
Mad_Gecko Pro Libertate Location: City Gecko	Food works I usually for a first date goto a "reasonable" restaurant , not one thats too over the top, but not one thats cheesy either. Find out what her tastes are like and match the restaurant accordingly. Try not to be too formal it can be uncomfortable for the both of you. Also if its someone I have known for while I try to do something that they aren't expecting. i once took this bird to an Arcade (although a preppy version of an arcade), and she loved it. It mightta been the fact that she trounced me at MotoGP and ALL the fightin' games. But I got her back at the skittles. Point is we both had FUN and neither one of us felt like we were on show. The key is making the girl feel like your interested in her and making her feel comfortable to be with you. Good Luck __________________ [color=bright blue]W[/color]e Stick To Glass "If three of us travel together, I shall find two teachers." Confucious