To Call or Not to Call - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Averett · 08-25-2003, 04:58 AM

I didn't want to hijack this thread, so I figured I'd start one up.

So I met that guy, exchanged numbers and that whole bit. He had said that he was going to forego the manditory 3 day waiting period and give me a call on Sunday. But that's right folks, no call....

As for what happened between us, we met at a bar then headed to another. Then I got my bag snatched, so we spent the next 2 hours in the back of a cop car and at the police station. Went back to his apartment where clothes remained on and no sex occured.

Advice please!!!

Cynthetiq · 08-25-2003, 05:19 AM

if you want to talk to him call him. simple. don't make any game out of it, just let him know that you wanted to say hello.

Shokan · 08-25-2003, 05:20 AM

Speaking from a guys point of view, Give it a couple of days, then call. It will make him wonder when you are going to call, and the anticipation will build for the both of you when you do finally speak to one another.

FlorentinoAriza · 08-25-2003, 05:27 AM

I agree with Cynthetiq, don't make a game out of it.
if u are interested, don't feel afraid to show.
u have nothing to lose

succes

Charlatan · 08-25-2003, 05:48 AM

Just call... games are lame.

yournamehere · 08-25-2003, 07:22 AM

Call him - it will probably thrill him that you took the initiative. Just don't appear needy - if he doesn't sound interested, keep it short and say,"well - you've got my number . . ." Then tear his up and move on.

There could be many reasons why he hasn't called - you'll never know until you talk to him.

And, of course - we'd all like to know what happens after you do.
Good luck.

hfw01 · 08-25-2003, 07:29 AM

call him...We have long since left the days when the girl couldn't call the guy. I'd love to get a call from a girl I'd met and had a good time with... Well, I would have... Now it would probably piss off my wife....

Sleepyjack · 08-25-2003, 10:56 AM

if you want to talk to him it make sense to call. Although i find it a little weird that he has not called the next day given the cricumstances of the bag snatch etc. If he wanted to make a favourable impression he'd want to check up on you, well i would.
generally agree with other posters about the stupid mind games.

good luck

World's King · 08-25-2003, 12:36 PM

Give it a few days.

He's probably having the same conversation with his friends right now. If he hung with at the police station for that long he's obviously not an asshole.

canucker · 08-25-2003, 12:54 PM

Have you ever seen that episode on Sex in the City. it's the same problem you have. I wouldn't call him.

Averett · 08-25-2003, 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by canucker
Have you ever seen that episode on Sex in the City. it's the same problem you have. I wouldn't call him.

Oh you bastard! Yeah, I've seen that... Ugh, now I've got that idea in my head...

Rowan · 08-25-2003, 03:45 PM

Give it two days then call, that way you don't appear to be needy to him and you get to get excited waiting to either call him or hoping that he will call you.
Good Luck!

Marburg · 08-25-2003, 04:54 PM

in my experience - when girls say they'll call but don't for a day or two it kind of gives me the inpression that they're lazy or non-caring.
That kind of impression can stick too.
Can someone please explain to me the point of trying to figure out "how long" to wait before calling? It has never built up my anticipation.... in my humble experience.

Averett · 08-25-2003, 05:13 PM

I'm gonna give a call back tomorrow. It's been a really long, shitty day today and I don't much feel like making flirty small talk... Tomorrow will be better for that

james t kirk · 08-25-2003, 07:38 PM

My golden rule.

Make a call. One call, and one call only.

If it picks up, great.

If he or she is not home leave a voice mail message and if they don't return the voice mail, NEVER, repeat NEVER call back.

I call it the one call rule. It's a good rule.

angela146 · 08-25-2003, 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Marburg
Can someone please explain to me the point of trying to figure out "how long" to wait before calling? It has never built up my anticipation.... in my humble experience.

Most girls like being pursued. Most like the idea of having guys make the moves. Most also like being teased *a little*. Besides, if he calls too soon, it has the feeling of being pressured.

Having said all that, if a guy doesn't call soon enough for you, call him. Start the conversation with "So... you apparently prefer to have the women make the next move..." in a jovial sounding voice. Some men like aggressive women, some don't.

sexymama · 08-25-2003, 08:02 PM

Call him -- he may be shy and need you to make the first move. However, don't be pushy and if he doesn't seem open, keep it short and sweet.

Holo · 08-26-2003, 04:40 AM

definitely call him...but only once. If he doesn't call you the next time drop him.

Spidey · 08-26-2003, 05:23 AM

Well considering he was polite enough to be there for the whole incident and no sex, this guy is genuine. CALL HIM, most nice guys are too shy to call. If you call it may lead you to a place of heavens.

Averett · 08-26-2003, 05:28 AM

I'm gonna call him up tonight. Take a chance.

yournamehere · 08-26-2003, 06:05 AM

Good luck - and let us know.
Hope you don't interrupt him watching his brand-new-out-the-door-today Two Towers DVD!

Averett · 08-26-2003, 06:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by yournamehere
Good luck - and let us know.
Hope you don't interrupt him watching his brand-new-out-the-door-today Two Towers DVD!

Well, if that's the case I'll just invite myself over and watch it

Maybe he's more of an Animal House guy!

canucker · 08-26-2003, 08:25 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Averett
Oh you bastard! Yeah, I've seen that... Ugh, now I've got that idea in my head...

Sorry

jimk · 08-26-2003, 09:03 AM

story:

three days after i met my (now) wife at a bar (i wrote my # on a coaster!), she called. my roomate said, "no he's not here." he forgot to mention that i was out of town for 4 days. so by the time i got back and he remembered to tell me that some chick named ..... called, she was already pissed at me!

i voted for give it a couple days for him to call, just in case he DOES have a good excuse.

Averett · 08-26-2003, 09:30 AM

Wow, 8 people voted "Jerk face" Yikes!!

obricko · 08-26-2003, 09:53 AM

He gave you his word he would call. He didnt. You shouldnt.

Halx · 08-26-2003, 09:54 AM

From a guy who hates flakey people... why bother?

He's all ready a flake.. can't change that, you're setting up to be stood up. Many times.

Averett · 08-26-2003, 10:02 AM

Hrmm.. could be. I'm gonna take the chance.

As I was writing that, I got a call from the police investigator. Gotta go down there tomorrow morning. Damnit!

sub zero · 08-26-2003, 11:38 AM

if you were a guy, i'd tell you not to call, but since you're a girl, i'm saying you should call

Averett · 08-26-2003, 12:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sub zero
if you were a guy, i'd tell you not to call, but since you're a girl, i'm saying you should call

Hmm.. what's your reasoning behind that?

Plan9Senior · 08-26-2003, 01:37 PM

Just call. You are already building up a situation in which he might not even be worth all of this fuss. I happen to always be the one who gives my number because I don't want to have to deal with the calling. That way if they don't call, no loss to me and I don't seem like a dick for forgetting, waiting, etc. Since you obviously are too anxious to wait for him to call (be patient, the guy most likely has a life and could have gotten busy or sidetracked) then go ahead and call him to get it over with. Remember, the only reason you want him to call so badly is because he hasn't yet. It is wired in us as humans to want what we dont have. Don't kid yourself, games suck but they work and are sometimes beneficial in keeping an interest going. Hell, look at what it has already gotten you to do (Create poll on public message board, think about it more then you should be, wondering if he will call, every ring causing you to get excited

). Enjoy the ride. Its always fun meeting new interests

char · 08-26-2003, 02:14 PM

Nothing to lose, baby! My favorite phrase..."You're only young once"

notslow · 08-26-2003, 04:51 PM

If he gave you his number he might be waiting for you to call him. If he gave you his number and not the local pizza place.
Call him now. He may not think you are interested in him...

Averett · 08-26-2003, 05:56 PM

I just tried about a half hour ago... Got an automated message. "Your call can not be completed at this time." So.... I'll try one more time tomorrow. Who knows, he might have to go to court tomorrow for the bag snatching....

I'm just tired of having these seemingly good opportunities with guys, only to have it not pan out.

Haven't given up just yet though. Maybe I'm a fool for that, who knows..

rogue49 · 08-26-2003, 06:28 PM

No one got anywhere in life by waiting.

Shit sometimes happens in life, there could be god-knows how many reasons.

Just call...and see what's up.
It could be good...and the worst that could happen is that you're in the same position as if you didn't call.

Hey, you had a special moment, you want to follow up.
simple.

Take life into your own hands.

analog · 08-26-2003, 08:50 PM

Don't wait around for things to happen to you, and don't turn it into a game. Most guys hate that shit anyway.

Subform · 08-26-2003, 10:19 PM

You shouldn't throw yourself at him like that ..
If he can't call you, then he is not interested ..
And if he is not interested, then he is not worthy of getting to know you ..

End User · 08-26-2003, 10:40 PM

If I was the guy, well, I would have called when I said I'd call....
He does sound like a bit of a jerk face for not calling, but then if you never call, you'll never know if he is an actual jerk face or not.

To quote from one of my favourite movies - Speed.
"Sandra: I've heard that relationships built on intense situations never last."
"Keanu: Then I guess we'll just have to base it on sex then..."

Keanu is the Man! If this jerk face was Keanu, he'd have called by now

rainheart · 08-27-2003, 02:09 AM

Here's the thing, right guys don't come along, you hunt.

Nobody here on this forum is in fact that guy that you want to call. So the poll results are irrelevant.

Not saying you should approach guys, but that you should become a great judge of character when you see guys so you know which ones are going to pan out.

rmarshall · 08-27-2003, 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Charlatan
Just call... games are lame.

Ditto.

View Poll Results: Ring a ding ding
What are you waiting for? Call him tonight!	27	40.91%
Give it a couple of days, then call	23	34.85%
Call in a week	2	3.03%
Don't call, he's obviouslly a jerk face for not calling you	14	21.21%
Voters: 66. You may not vote on this poll

08-25-2003, 04:58 AM	#1 (permalink)
Averett Is In Love Location: I'm workin' on it	To Call or Not to Call I didn't want to hijack this thread, so I figured I'd start one up. So I met that guy, exchanged numbers and that whole bit. He had said that he was going to forego the manditory 3 day waiting period and give me a call on Sunday. But that's right folks, no call.... As for what happened between us, we met at a bar then headed to another. Then I got my bag snatched, so we spent the next 2 hours in the back of a cop car and at the police station. Went back to his apartment where clothes remained on and no sex occured. Advice please!!! __________________ Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

08-25-2003, 05:19 AM	#2 (permalink)
Cynthetiq Tilted Cat Head Administrator Location: Manhattan, NY	if you want to talk to him call him. simple. don't make any game out of it, just let him know that you wanted to say hello. __________________ I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. What's the best nation in the world? DO-NATION!

08-25-2003, 05:20 AM	#3 (permalink)
Shokan Addict Location: Canada	Speaking from a guys point of view, Give it a couple of days, then call. It will make him wonder when you are going to call, and the anticipation will build for the both of you when you do finally speak to one another. __________________ Legalize it.

08-25-2003, 05:27 AM	#4 (permalink)
FlorentinoAriza Crazy Location: europe	I agree with Cynthetiq, don't make a game out of it. if u are interested, don't feel afraid to show. u have nothing to lose succes __________________ --- this space for rent --- pm me

08-25-2003, 05:48 AM	#5 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	Just call... games are lame. __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke

08-25-2003, 07:22 AM	#6 (permalink)
yournamehere Invisible Location: tentative, at best	Call him - it will probably thrill him that you took the initiative. Just don't appear needy - if he doesn't sound interested, keep it short and say,"well - you've got my number . . ." Then tear his up and move on. There could be many reasons why he hasn't called - you'll never know until you talk to him. And, of course - we'd all like to know what happens after you do. Good luck. __________________ If you want to avoid 95% of internet spelling errors: "If your ridiculous pants are too loose, you're definitely going to lose them. Tell your two loser friends over there that they're going to lose theirs, too." It won't hurt your fashion sense, either.

08-25-2003, 07:29 AM	#7 (permalink)
hfw01 Tilted Location: Mandeville, LA	call him...We have long since left the days when the girl couldn't call the guy. I'd love to get a call from a girl I'd met and had a good time with... Well, I would have... Now it would probably piss off my wife....

08-25-2003, 10:56 AM	#8 (permalink)
Sleepyjack Fast'n'Bulbous Location: Australia, Perth	if you want to talk to him it make sense to call. Although i find it a little weird that he has not called the next day given the cricumstances of the bag snatch etc. If he wanted to make a favourable impression he'd want to check up on you, well i would. generally agree with other posters about the stupid mind games. good luck

08-25-2003, 12:36 PM	#9 (permalink)
World's King Here Location: Denver City Denver	Give it a few days. He's probably having the same conversation with his friends right now. If he hung with at the police station for that long he's obviously not an asshole. __________________ heavy is the head that wears the crown

08-25-2003, 12:54 PM	#10 (permalink)
canucker Crazy	Have you ever seen that episode on Sex in the City. it's the same problem you have. I wouldn't call him. __________________ Go hard or go home; Just don't go home hard.

08-25-2003, 03:45 PM	#12 (permalink)
Rowan Tilted Location: The Great Northwest	Give it two days then call, that way you don't appear to be needy to him and you get to get excited waiting to either call him or hoping that he will call you. Good Luck!

08-25-2003, 04:54 PM	#13 (permalink)
Marburg Crazy Location: Nova Scotia, Canada	in my experience - when girls say they'll call but don't for a day or two it kind of gives me the inpression that they're lazy or non-caring. That kind of impression can stick too. Can someone please explain to me the point of trying to figure out "how long" to wait before calling? It has never built up my anticipation.... in my humble experience. __________________ Ask a simple question... get pain.

08-25-2003, 05:13 PM	#14 (permalink)
Averett Is In Love Location: I'm workin' on it	I'm gonna give a call back tomorrow. It's been a really long, shitty day today and I don't much feel like making flirty small talk... Tomorrow will be better for that __________________ Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

08-25-2003, 07:38 PM	#15 (permalink)
james t kirk Junkie Location: Toronto	My golden rule. Make a call. One call, and one call only. If it picks up, great. If he or she is not home leave a voice mail message and if they don't return the voice mail, NEVER, repeat NEVER call back. I call it the one call rule. It's a good rule.

08-26-2003, 04:40 AM	#18 (permalink)
Holo A Real American	definitely call him...but only once. If he doesn't call you the next time drop him. __________________ I happen to like the words "fuck", "cock", "pussy", "tits", "cunt", "twat", "shit" and even "bitch". As long as I am not using them to describe you, don't go telling me whether or not I can/should use them...that is, if you want me to continue refraining from using them to describe you. ~Prince

08-25-2003, 08:02 PM	#17 (permalink)
sexymama My own person -- his by choice Location: Lebell's arms	Call him -- he may be shy and need you to make the first move. However, don't be pushy and if he doesn't seem open, keep it short and sweet. __________________ If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

08-26-2003, 05:23 AM	#19 (permalink)
Spidey Crazy Location: Wellington, New Zealand	Well considering he was polite enough to be there for the whole incident and no sex, this guy is genuine. CALL HIM, most nice guys are too shy to call. If you call it may lead you to a place of heavens.

08-26-2003, 05:28 AM	#20 (permalink)
Averett Is In Love Location: I'm workin' on it	I'm gonna call him up tonight. Take a chance. __________________ Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

08-26-2003, 06:05 AM	#21 (permalink)
yournamehere Invisible Location: tentative, at best	Good luck - and let us know. Hope you don't interrupt him watching his brand-new-out-the-door-today <i>Two Towers</i> DVD! __________________ If you want to avoid 95% of internet spelling errors: "If your ridiculous pants are too loose, you're definitely going to lose them. Tell your two loser friends over there that they're going to lose theirs, too." It won't hurt your fashion sense, either.

08-26-2003, 09:03 AM	#24 (permalink)
jimk Addict Location: Chicago	story: three days after i met my (now) wife at a bar (i wrote my # on a coaster!), she called. my roomate said, "no he's not here." he forgot to mention that i was out of town for 4 days. so by the time i got back and he remembered to tell me that some chick named ..... called, she was already pissed at me! i voted for give it a couple days for him to call, just in case he DOES have a good excuse. __________________ raw power is a guaranteed o.d. raw power is a laughin' at you & me -iggy

08-26-2003, 09:30 AM	#25 (permalink)
Averett Is In Love Location: I'm workin' on it	Wow, 8 people voted "Jerk face" Yikes!! __________________ Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

08-26-2003, 09:53 AM	#26 (permalink)
obricko Upright Location: Motor City	He gave you his word he would call. He didnt. You shouldnt. __________________ Young & Dumb

08-26-2003, 09:54 AM	#27 (permalink)
Halx Please touch this. Owner/Admin Location: Manhattan	From a guy who hates flakey people... why bother? He's all ready a flake.. can't change that, you're setting up to be stood up. Many times. __________________ You have found this post informative. -The Administrator [Don't Feed The Animals]

08-26-2003, 10:02 AM	#28 (permalink)
Averett Is In Love Location: I'm workin' on it	Hrmm.. could be. I'm gonna take the chance. As I was writing that, I got a call from the police investigator. Gotta go down there tomorrow morning. Damnit! __________________ Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

08-26-2003, 11:38 AM	#29 (permalink)
sub zero Addict Location: The one state that doesn't have black outs: TEXAS BABY!!!	if you were a guy, i'd tell you not to call, but since you're a girl, i'm saying you should call __________________ Did you Google it yet? Join the TFP Typing team!!

08-26-2003, 01:37 PM	#31 (permalink)
Plan9Senior Banned Location: Orange County, California	Just call. You are already building up a situation in which he might not even be worth all of this fuss. I happen to always be the one who gives my number because I don't want to have to deal with the calling. That way if they don't call, no loss to me and I don't seem like a dick for forgetting, waiting, etc. Since you obviously are too anxious to wait for him to call (be patient, the guy most likely has a life and could have gotten busy or sidetracked) then go ahead and call him to get it over with. Remember, the only reason you want him to call so badly is because he hasn't yet. It is wired in us as humans to want what we dont have. Don't kid yourself, games suck but they work and are sometimes beneficial in keeping an interest going. Hell, look at what it has already gotten you to do (Create poll on public message board, think about it more then you should be, wondering if he will call, every ring causing you to get excited ). Enjoy the ride. Its always fun meeting new interests

08-26-2003, 02:14 PM	#32 (permalink)
char Upright	Nothing to lose, baby! My favorite phrase..."You're only young once"

08-26-2003, 04:51 PM	#33 (permalink)
notslow Upright	If he gave you his number he might be waiting for you to call him. If he gave you his number and not the local pizza place. Call him now. He may not think you are interested in him...

08-26-2003, 05:56 PM	#34 (permalink)
Averett Is In Love Location: I'm workin' on it	I just tried about a half hour ago... Got an automated message. "Your call can not be completed at this time." So.... I'll try one more time tomorrow. Who knows, he might have to go to court tomorrow for the bag snatching.... I'm just tired of having these seemingly good opportunities with guys, only to have it not pan out. Haven't given up just yet though. Maybe I'm a fool for that, who knows.. __________________ Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

08-26-2003, 06:28 PM	#35 (permalink)
rogue49 Loser	No one got anywhere in life by waiting. Shit sometimes happens in life, there could be god-knows how many reasons. Just call...and see what's up. It could be good...and the worst that could happen is that you're in the same position as if you didn't call. Hey, you had a special moment, you want to follow up. simple. Take life into your own hands.

08-26-2003, 08:50 PM	#36 (permalink)
analog Banned	Don't wait around for things to happen to you, and don't turn it into a game. Most guys hate that shit anyway.

08-26-2003, 10:19 PM	#37 (permalink)
Subform Crazy Location: Vordingborg, Denmark	You shouldn't throw yourself at him like that .. If he can't call you, then he is not interested .. And if he is not interested, then he is not worthy of getting to know you .. __________________ -+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+ Subform - Allover the place

08-26-2003, 10:40 PM	#38 (permalink)
End User Insane Location: Sydney, Australia	If I was the guy, well, I would have called when I said I'd call.... He does sound like a bit of a jerk face for not calling, but then if you never call, you'll never know if he is an actual jerk face or not. To quote from one of my favourite movies - Speed. "Sandra: I've heard that relationships built on intense situations never last." "Keanu: Then I guess we'll just have to base it on sex then..." Keanu is the Man! If this jerk face was Keanu, he'd have called by now __________________ People who have no faults are terrible!

08-27-2003, 02:09 AM	#39 (permalink)
rainheart Psycho	Here's the thing, right guys don't come along, you hunt. Nobody here on this forum is in fact that guy that you want to call. So the poll results are irrelevant. Not saying you should approach guys, but that you should become a great judge of character when you see guys so you know which ones are going to pan out.