wario

Nice stories!
And now let me share my similar stories.
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Yeah, that's all of 'em.

Craven Morehead

Many years ago at a party, it was really hot and humid. I mentioned how hot I was to a girl that I didn't even know. She asked me how I'd like a pussy full of ice cream. We left shortly afterwards.

maximus

hmm...i once asked my gf is she wanted to have sex..is that good enough...LOL

nice stories, i am gonna have to keep my eye on these posts because i think we might get some good ones.

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i don't want to be lonely, i just want to be alone.

GoldenOuroboros

'bout the same as me bub..

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Can you see me grin grin grrriiiiinnnning?!

Jim Kata

When I was still a virgin a friend of mine thought it was about time I lost it. He had a hot hot girlfriend and said "Why don't we all party together and explore our bisexuality together?", needless to say I passed.

Nisses

...out?

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Moderation should be moderately moderated.

Charlatan

...

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"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Fallon

Umm....ugh...Maybe about the wierdest was when my fiancee asked me if I wanted to do it on the hood of her car in a baseball park?

Other then that, there hasn't really been any...I feel bland, but in a good way I think...

abelak

The best for me was when my girl at the timw asked me if I could help her feel more spiritual...I didn't understand at first. When she started saying, "Oh God..." it clicked.

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Screw it, Let's go bowling.

tikki

I've always wanted to ask a british girl if she had any American in her. If she didn't, then I would offer to alleviate the problem.

I live a boring life where women don't come on to me creatively, or in any way at all for that matter.

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Take notice. Take interest. Take me with you.

Jim Kata

Hey, I would rather have no women coming on to me than my best friend asking to "explore" our bisexuality together with his girlfriend. I didn't even know that I had any bisexuality in me to explore.

edit: after posting this, I realized that it isn't true.

Marius1

One girl I met in a club asked me to cheer for her and then proceded to take part in a wet t-shirt competition.

She won.

I'd mentioned that I'd driven to the club.

When she came back and said if I liked I could have her in back of my car. Sometimes being the designated driver does have its perks.

Told my friends they'd just have to get a taxi as I was off to get busy.

The_Jazz

I have 2 stories, one mine, one not and both absolutely true.

I ran Cross Country in college and dated a woman who ran at a rival school down the road for a while. She told me that one of her teammates thought that one of my teammates was really cute, and I passed that along to him. Our home meet came up, and we invited my girlfriend's team to the team house for a party afterwards. My friend (critical part coming) WITHOUT EVER HAVING TALKED TO OR BEEN INTRODUCED TO THIS OTHER WOMAN, walks right up to her and says "Let's go." It worked, and they went off to his place hand in hand, introducing each other on the way. Gee, I wonder if he'll ever tell that story to his kids....

The other story is all mine. A few years after I graduated, I was living next door to this gorgeous woman that I had gotten to be friends with. I was still running a lot, and it was doing funny things to my digestive tract. She and I were hanging out at my place, watching a movie on TV, when I suddenly felt some serious gas pains. I thought that if I just clenched tight, they'd subside like usual. I didn't want to get up because she was leaning on me, with her head on my shoulder, and I was a little "excited". Anyway, part of that gas sort of silently slipped out, and boy, did it smell. She sort of sniffed the air, looked around the room and said, "What's that smell?" I just shut up and stared straight at the TV. She sat up straighter and kept sniffing and said, "No, really, do you smell that? It smells like rotten eggs. Do you think you have a gas leak?" For some reason, that was the funniest thing that I'd ever heard, and I started to giggle. She asked me what was so funny, and I could only laugh harder. She sort of slap/pushed me, but she started laughing too. Then she tried to tickle me as "punishment", so I had to tickle her back. I ended up on top of her, and kissed her, and well, use your imagination.

Marius1, I think you still have me beat, though.

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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

Ace_O_Spades

this chick came up to me at a party and said "I'm going to have sex with you later"

so i did

one night stands rule sometimes

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Feh.

motdakasha

I've never encountered a creative man, so I have no such stories to tell.

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=^-^= motdakasha =^-^=
Just Google It.
BA Psychology & Photography
(I'm not going psychoanalyze you nor will I let you cry on my shoulder. Have a nice day.)

chewie

I've had a few "odd" pick up lines thrown my way by women in the past. They're far more direct than men.

When I was in college I was in a Fraternity. A local sorority chick who I knew came up to me at a bar one night and say, "So, are you going to go home and play with your pledges, or come home and play with me?"

She won.

Years later I was in Atlantic City talking to this girl I had met. We were getting along pretty well when she just blurts out "Shut up and fuck me."

I did.

Kadath

There is only one way to describe that sort of event, my friend, and that is with a single word. Legend. You are legend.

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it's quiet in here

Ralvek

A story from my friend...he was in college and met this really hot chick, now he's not that smooth with the ladies for some reason, although they really dig him. So they went up to his room and she sits on the bed and says, "is it hot in here?" He thought for a moment and went to open the window...when he turned around she had her shirt off and was staring at him like what an idiot, then she walked out the door. hehehe sucker

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Ban country music, it promotes inbreeding.

simplyhere

hmm best friend .... asked me to do oral on him... not in to the same sex thing that much though..
scared the crap outta me.... was very young..

yournamehere

One time when I was tending bar, I "overheard" a girl telling her friend "No- not tequila - it makes me too horny. If I have a shot of tequila, I'll have to take the bartender home and fuck his brains out"

Needless to say, by the time she was done talking, the shots were poured and in front of them.
She was true to her word (although I'd like to think she left me <i>some</i> brains).

Another time (same bar) a girl would start sucking her finger whenever she was talking to me - she explained she had an oral fixation and asked if I had anything she could suck on. It was time for my break so we went outside to her car, where she immediately gave me one of the most memorable blowjobs ever. No sooner had she lifted her head up than a car pulled up beside us. It was her boyfriend's best friend - she introduced us, and I reached my hand out the window and shook his hand. Luckily he didn't get any closer, 'cause my pants were still around my ankles.

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If you want to avoid 95% of internet spelling errors:
"If your ridiculous pants are too loose, you're definitely going to lose them. Tell your two loser friends over there that they're going to lose theirs, too."
It won't hurt your fashion sense, either.

-Anders

Sadly i can't say that ive had any, 'tis a shame

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Signature 101

denton

In high school my gf was cute but her friend was VERY hot. One day I came over to visit them after school and gf started explaining that best friends should share...we need to get stuff out of our system now...etc. She let me have sex with her friend, and then her. I am not studly, btw...just got lucky. About 6 months later after we were broke up , they showed up drunk at my work. I got off work and we did it again at ex-gf's house. They told me they were actually looking for my friend Kurt but he wasn't home...sorry Kurt.

Subform

I would think the best offer i got was as follows:

I was chatting around on the net, at around 10pm, I found a very nice and very naughty girl, who right away started chatting about sex, and sexual likings. She asked if she could call me, and i agreed. So around 11pm she called me, and just as she called me, i was hooked on her voice, and needed to find out how she was in reallife. I found out that she lived about 40 mins busride away from me, and i asked her if she wanted to meet me.
We agreed to meet the very next day at 11am, so i took the day off and went out there.
As i walked out the bus, i was met by the kindest smile i have ever seen. She took my hand, and without any talking for the next 200 metres, we walked towards her place.
We started out with abit of talking, and yet again the conversation became more and more dirty. One thing took the other, and i had the best sex ever ...

This was under 13 hours after i talked to her first time ..

Awesome if you ask me ..

I was with her for 14 days ..

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Subform - Allover the place

denim

That's a long session! Didn't you get blue balls?

air45

i was at the discotheque in the evening when a sexy lady spilled her cocktail on the trousers of mine.

imagine the surprise! "you will clean the mess for sure" i shrieked to her.

she cleaned the trousers with her tongue and mouth in the evening after we left the discotheque!

water_boy1999

At my ten year high school reunion last year, I was supposed to go with this girl who I had a huge crush on, but she cancelled on me with 2 days to spare. I ended up asking a girlfriend of mine from kickboxing class who always seemed to have the hots for me, but I never acted on it as I didn't want to stir the waters where I worked out at. She said she would love to go (I thought it was as friends only). Well, she was an awesome date, very friendly to all my old buddies, very complimentary, etc.....then when we were on the dance floor cutting it up, without notice, she grabs me and pulls me into a dark corner of the hotel we were at. Without further adieu, she sticks her tongue in my mouth and har hand down my pants. We left shortly after and I took her home. I still wasn't expecting anything as I was still in shock. I pull up to her house where the babysitter was watching her daughter, she tells me I can't come up, but she would "Love to suck my cock!" She whips it out, I reclined my chair, and she went to town! I have more, but not much time to write as I am at work.

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Doh!!!!


-Homer Simpson

Subform

denim: Lol . you know what i mean!

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Subform - Allover the place

mirevolver

Personally I would never use a pick up line other than, "Hello."

But the odd thing is girls have used pick up lines on me. One was as I was leaving a bar and she said, "Do you need a ride? Because I can ride you all night long." I ended up dating her.

Another was during my recent trip to Germany when I was hanging out at a bar and one of the girls in the group I was with was getting ready to leave and she came over to me and said, "Ich fahre nach Hause. Kommst du mit?" (Translation: I'm going home, are you coming with me?)
I turned her down, simply because I wanted neither a one night stand nor a long distance relationship. But if she had said that while I was having a moment of weakness, I so would have gone with her.

Needless to say I agree with chewie, women are far more direct than men.

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Aside from my great plans to become the future dictator of the moon, I have little interest in political discussions.

cj22009

When I was in school i went over to this girls house and her best friend was there and we were bullshitting and what ever and all of a sudden they both said we want to fuck U I said ok and yall know the rest of the story

Dawson70

I was the designated driver for a wedding party of my friend when I was home on leave from the military. Somehow, I ended up driving the bridesmaids from bar to bar all night. About 2 am, most of the girls were "trashed". We stopped at a red light and one of the girls sitting up front with me, suggested they "fuck the shit" out of the driver (me). Needless to say.....after a few minutes of hot kissing and fondeling 4 girls, we were interupped by one of the other gilrs in the back barfing. It all stopped and I went home alone.....and very frustrated!

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"I Finally Finished My Goal....You Can Too!

Yippie Ki Ya...

DEI37

Dude...that would just suck ass!

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Generally speaking, if you were to get what you really deserve, you might be unpleasantly surprised.

Dawson70

It's a very painful memory......LOL

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"I Finally Finished My Goal....You Can Too!

Yippie Ki Ya...

tooth

...and you were just that close to being a god among men.


LOL! Classic!

Average_Joe

In high school, I was out with a female friend and her sister. Out of the blue, she asked me if I was a virgin. Reluctantly, I aditted that I was, then I asked her the same question. She said that she wasn't. Then, she asked me if I wanted to join her club! Being the master of conversation that I am, I said.."um, sure".

Unfortunately, we couldn't find a place to be alone, so nothing happened that night. I ended up not getting together with her for a while after that, and the proposal just fell by the wayside.

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I think I'll procrastinate......in a little while.

Captain Nemo

In high school, some friends and I were at a Black Sabbath concert. We were standing on the arena floor and I was wearing a pair of jeans that had a hole in the ass of the them. Of course being the commando kind of guy that I am I wasn't wearing any underwear. We were standing there passing a joint around when this girl came up behind me and stuck her fingers in the hole and started playing with my ass. When I turned around she asked if she could have more than a limited tour. We did it against the wall while my friends formed a semi-circle around us so no one could see.

Again, god I loved the 70's and 80's

shred_head

I think girls are more direct than guys because they know it will usually be well received and they won't get slapped, and they'll rarely get turned down. Only thing I can think of.

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"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds" -- Albert Einstein

"A clear indication of women's superiority over man is their refusal to play air guitar." --Frank Zappa

Captain Nemo

shred_head, you pegged it. If I would have done that to a girl, god only knows what would have happened.

bermuDa

wow talk about raised from the dead. an entire year-long hiatus! lol

someone's been using the search function

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I am the very model of a moderator gentleman.

mirevolver

yeah, I thought about starting something similiar to this topic, but decided to run the search function first just to cover the bases.

/and now back to the topic at hand.

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Aside from my great plans to become the future dictator of the moon, I have little interest in political discussions.

the_marq

One night my roomate and I were hanging out watching TV when the fone rang. It was the girl from the coffee shop we go to every day (I'm not sure how she got our number). She said, "What are you doing?"
"Watching TV, probably going to bed soon (it was 11pm)"
"Great I'm coming over I was planning on doing the same thing."


sahhhweeeet!

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The Truth:

Johnny Cash could have kicked Bruce Lee's ass if he wanted to.

#3 in a series