Burning Calories and Sex - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

motdakasha · 07-24-2003, 10:48 AM

A friend of mine posted this on a different message board, thought it would be amusing for you all.

Subject: Getting enough exercise? Thank you, ghost of prattle.

Message:
<pre>
With her consent................................ 12 Calories
Without her consent............................. 187 Calories
Opening her bra With both hands................. 8 Calories
With one hand................................... 12 Calories
With your teeth................................. 85 Calories
Putting on a condom With an erection............ 6 Calories
Without an erection............................. 315 Calories
Preliminaries Trying to find the clitoris....... 8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot....................... 92 Calories
Positions Missionary............................ 12 Calories
69 lying down................................... 78 Calories
69 standing up.................................. 112 Calories
Wheelbarrow..................................... 216 Calories
Doggy Style..................................... 326 Calories
Italian chandelier.............................. 912 Calories
Orgasming Real.................................. 112 Calories
False........................................... 315 Calories
Post orgasm Lying in bed hugging................ 18 Calories
Getting up immediately.......................... 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately... 816 Calories
Getting a second erection If you are:
20-29 years old................................. 6 Calories
30-39 years..................................... 80 Calories
40-49 years..................................... 124 Calories
50-59 years..................................... 972 Calories
60-69 years..................................... 2916 Calories
70 and over..................................... Results are still pending
Dressing afterwards Calmly...................... 32 Calories
In a hurry...................................... 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door............ 1218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door............. 3521 Calories
</pre>

RAGEAngel9 · 07-24-2003, 11:06 AM

"Without her consent............................. 187 Calories "

I'm gonna say nopt kool to that one, but the rest are funny.

micah67 · 07-24-2003, 06:27 PM

Forwarded to my girlfriend. Mainly to see if she laughs at that last one.

micah67 · 07-24-2003, 06:29 PM

Her response:
"Forget the wife knocking on the door... I'll be taking pictures!"

Cool!

Reikes · 07-24-2003, 07:02 PM

Every time I hear about someone measuring the "work" required to have sex, it confuses me... How exactly would you come up with real numbers?

(And yes I know this was a joke)

Reikes

Slims · 07-24-2003, 07:59 PM

MacGnG · 07-24-2003, 08:02 PM

it's "working out" come on...

07-24-2003, 10:48 AM	#1 (permalink)
motdakasha Hiya Puddin'! Miss me? Location: Silicon Valley, CA	Burning Calories and Sex A friend of mine posted this on a different message board, thought it would be amusing for you all. Subject: Getting enough exercise? Thank you, ghost of prattle. Message: <pre> With her consent................................ 12 Calories Without her consent............................. 187 Calories Opening her bra With both hands................. 8 Calories With one hand................................... 12 Calories With your teeth................................. 85 Calories Putting on a condom With an erection............ 6 Calories Without an erection............................. 315 Calories Preliminaries Trying to find the clitoris....... 8 Calories Trying to find the G-Spot....................... 92 Calories Positions Missionary............................ 12 Calories 69 lying down................................... 78 Calories 69 standing up.................................. 112 Calories Wheelbarrow..................................... 216 Calories Doggy Style..................................... 326 Calories Italian chandelier.............................. 912 Calories Orgasming Real.................................. 112 Calories False........................................... 315 Calories Post orgasm Lying in bed hugging................ 18 Calories Getting up immediately.......................... 36 Calories Explaining why you got out of bed immediately... 816 Calories Getting a second erection If you are: 20-29 years old................................. 6 Calories 30-39 years..................................... 80 Calories 40-49 years..................................... 124 Calories 50-59 years..................................... 972 Calories 60-69 years..................................... 2916 Calories 70 and over..................................... Results are still pending Dressing afterwards Calmly...................... 32 Calories In a hurry...................................... 98 Calories With her father knocking at the door............ 1218 Calories With your wife knocking at the door............. 3521 Calories </pre> __________________ =^-^= motdakasha =^-^= Just Google It. BA Psychology & Photography (I'm not going psychoanalyze you nor will I let you cry on my shoulder. Have a nice day.)

07-24-2003, 06:27 PM	#3 (permalink)
micah67 Thor Location: 33:08:12N 117:10:23W	Forwarded to my girlfriend. Mainly to see if she laughs at that last one. __________________ ~micah

07-24-2003, 06:29 PM	#4 (permalink)
micah67 Thor Location: 33:08:12N 117:10:23W	Her response: "Forget the wife knocking on the door... I'll be taking pictures!" Cool! __________________ ~micah

07-24-2003, 07:59 PM	#6 (permalink)
Slims Eccentric insomniac Location: North Carolina	Hehe __________________ "Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill "All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." Seven Pillars of Wisdom, T.E. Lawrence

07-24-2003, 11:06 AM	#2 (permalink)
RAGEAngel9 Insane Location: Vermont	"Without her consent............................. 187 Calories " I'm gonna say nopt kool to that one, but the rest are funny.

07-24-2003, 07:02 PM	#5 (permalink)
Reikes Upright	Every time I hear about someone measuring the "work" required to have sex, it confuses me... How exactly would you come up with real numbers? (And yes I know this was a joke) Reikes

07-24-2003, 08:02 PM	#7 (permalink)
MacGnG Know Where!	it's "working out" come on...