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Old 07-24-2003, 10:48 AM   #1 (permalink)
Hiya Puddin'! Miss me?
 
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
Burning Calories and Sex

A friend of mine posted this on a different message board, thought it would be amusing for you all.

Subject: Getting enough exercise? Thank you, ghost of prattle.

Message:
<pre>
With her consent................................ 12 Calories
Without her consent............................. 187 Calories
Opening her bra With both hands................. 8 Calories
With one hand................................... 12 Calories
With your teeth................................. 85 Calories
Putting on a condom With an erection............ 6 Calories
Without an erection............................. 315 Calories
Preliminaries Trying to find the clitoris....... 8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot....................... 92 Calories
Positions Missionary............................ 12 Calories
69 lying down................................... 78 Calories
69 standing up.................................. 112 Calories
Wheelbarrow..................................... 216 Calories
Doggy Style..................................... 326 Calories
Italian chandelier.............................. 912 Calories
Orgasming Real.................................. 112 Calories
False........................................... 315 Calories
Post orgasm Lying in bed hugging................ 18 Calories
Getting up immediately.......................... 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately... 816 Calories
Getting a second erection If you are:
20-29 years old................................. 6 Calories
30-39 years..................................... 80 Calories
40-49 years..................................... 124 Calories
50-59 years..................................... 972 Calories
60-69 years..................................... 2916 Calories
70 and over..................................... Results are still pending
Dressing afterwards Calmly...................... 32 Calories
In a hurry...................................... 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door............ 1218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door............. 3521 Calories
</pre>
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Old 07-24-2003, 11:06 AM   #2 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Vermont
"Without her consent............................. 187 Calories "

I'm gonna say nopt kool to that one, but the rest are funny.
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Old 07-24-2003, 06:27 PM   #3 (permalink)
Thor
 
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Location: 33:08:12N 117:10:23W
Forwarded to my girlfriend. Mainly to see if she laughs at that last one.
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Old 07-24-2003, 06:29 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Location: 33:08:12N 117:10:23W
Her response:
"Forget the wife knocking on the door... I'll be taking pictures!"

Cool!
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Old 07-24-2003, 07:02 PM   #5 (permalink)
Upright
 
Every time I hear about someone measuring the "work" required to have sex, it confuses me... How exactly would you come up with real numbers?

(And yes I know this was a joke)

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Old 07-24-2003, 07:59 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Location: North Carolina
Hehe
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"All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." Seven Pillars of Wisdom, T.E. Lawrence
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Old 07-24-2003, 08:02 PM   #7 (permalink)
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it's "working out" come on...
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