Sleepyjack

If you had no ribs or some kind of contortionist ability would you suck or give yourself oral (applies both to male and females)

i got the idea for the question when i was listening to some of bill hick's comedy/philosophy today.

transcript of hicks, talking about blowjobs....

"A woman one night yelled out, "Yeah, you ever try it?" I said, yeah. Almost broke my back. It's that one vertebrae, I swear to God, it's that close. I think that vertebrae is going to be the thing to go in our next evolutionary step. Just a theory and a fervent prayer. Yeah, now all the guys are going, "Honey, I have no idea what he's talking about. I think he's a devil-child." That may be true, but guys, yyyyyou know what I'm talking about. I can speak for every guy in this room here tonight, guys, if you could blow yourselves, ladies, you'd be in this room alone right now. Watching an empty stage.

Boy, my folks are proud of me. "Bill honey, you still doing that suck your own cock bit?" Yeah, mom. "Good, baby, that's such a crowd-pleaser. How clever of you to come up with the suck your own cock bit, honey. You're so clever, it makes your mama's bosom swell with pride. Knowing her son is travelling the world, using his given surname, going up in front of rooms of total strangers and doing the suck your own cock piece." Thanks, mom. "No biggie."

~Bill Hicks



i myself, wouldn't be so quick to say, eyah definantly, i am just imagining myself bent over in that manner and it isn't appealing....
so i am still a little undecided atm. Though, in the meantime, i'd like to here everyone elses response

edit: also can anyone actually do it? and has done it?

wario

Well, at least I know where it's been (though I'm guessing that's not always a good thing to know for some).
But, yeah, I think I'd have to give it a try at least once... after a nice long shower... and followed by an even longer shower. And, no, I wouldn't swallow....

numberfive

Nah, it would be way too weird for me.

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Halx

I would never - leave - my - room.

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Taliesin

Hm. I'd probably give it a go.

It would be like tickling yourself though, wouldn't it?

Donkeypuncher

The unemployment rate would skyrocket. I mean... who'd ever go to work?

My only problem with this poll is that there is only a choice for "yes" and not a "hellllll yes!"

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rocinante2003

LOL.

Amen to that lol

Lebell

Hmph, no fair, this was my most successful thread ever...

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jgrayson_au

I know this is possible cause a mate of mine (who is equally as perverted as me) sent me about 10 pics (which I lost in a format sorry) of guys and girls sucking/eating themselves.

The guys that can do it are the ones that way like 40kilo (80 pound?) and are like 6"6'. Tall and lanky. Females seem to be able to do it more (are they more flexible) with one pic of a girl giving herself a rim job!?!?


I'd give it a go, though I think that flavoured condom would be the way to go on this one.

MSD

Ooh, so if I lose 195 pounds, and shrink two inches, I can do it?

I still wouldn't.

abelak

If I had a fridge and a microwave in my room...then...I...would never have to leave!!

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Wombat

Hahahhaha.

I dunno. I guess I'd try it. Interesting concept.

Pennington

A few years ago when I was 15, 110 pounds, tall and lanky, I managed to do it a few times. Its not that great, more pain and discomfort than anything. I did it for novelty at a party once but then didn't do it ever again. Tried it just now and I don't even come close.

wario

If I actually managed it, it'd be the kind of thing I'd never mention to anyone, much less perform for others.

Jim Kata

A guy I knew could do that. He actually did it in front of some people one night, and a polaroid was taken of the act.
I always said that I would definetly do it if I could, but once I saw that picture, it changed everything.
Now the true question is, would you spit or swallow? hahahaha.

slimshaydee

no way! Thats feral...let someone else do it :P

Odysseus

I recently managed to give myself a blowjob (even took a pic of it). It's all about flexibility. But make sure to strech beforehand...

wario

Okay, so I couldn't understand these people who put on the performances for others. Now I certainly don't understand these people who are taking pictures. Why leave evidence? At least you can always say somebody is lying. But if people have pictures, well, forget about running for president. I hope you people at least passed around a collection hat while doing this.

Odysseus

Well, I'm 32. The last time I tried it I was like 15. Maybe I took the picture to prove to myself that I'm still young ;-)

yankeefatboy

Like the old joke goes "why do dogs lick their balls? Because they can"! Of course I would. Anyone who says they wouldn't try is fibbin'.

johnnymysto

Darn tootin' yankeefatboy. Everyone would try it at least once. I know I would. I definitely would NOT swallow. And I sure wouldn't take a picture of it!!

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motdakasha

Men: B T W, giving yourself head is technically called autofellatio. See definition here: http://www.sexglossary.com/alphabet/a.shtml

My ex-boyfriend could do this and he wasn't that tall or that skinny. He was closer to 5'6" and about 170 lbs. or more (I never asked about his weight). It gave him extreme back pain when he did it, even if he stretched beforehand.

This could very well be urban legend, but I heard this from somewhere that was likely unreliable: rarely, guys will try to suck it on a chair or their bed and end up falling on their back. In the aftermath of the fall, they die either because of spinal damage or because they, uh, suffocated.

(Google) On a random side note, apparently the Egyptians even contemplated autofellatio: http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Acad.../ontology.html

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lurkette

All I can say is ick. Icky icky ick.

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GSRIDER

I had a friend who could get the tip in his mouth and suck himself off.

I only know this cause his wife told me and had a pic of him doing... now you wanna talk about some fuct up drinking conversation... he... the husband just turned red... he didn't care that she told me.

I don't think he made a practice of it. He was satisfied that he could do it but let his wife take care of it most of the time.

Oh and I just did a google image search with the safe filter off for "self suck" and lets just say I'm at work and I had to shut that window really fast... first five are some bendy fellows

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GSRIDER

No... it's cause they don't have thumbs

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World's King

If I had tits and could give myself head I would never leave the house.


Not that I do anyway, but at least I would be getting some action.

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ninety09

Never tried, never will.

oscar0308

motdakasha, i think you're right about that being fairly unreliable. sounds kinda farfetched to me.

of course as a youngster i tried after hearing 2 guys i know say that they could aaaaaalmost reach if they did this weird position against a wall. couldnt do it though.

a good friend of mine says that some guy he knows can do it.. and easily. one thing that no one has mentioned is another ley factor. SIZE!!! for this it [b]does[b] matter. the guy is like 5'4" and not overly skinny, but he's hung like a horse. at some stag they passed a plate and he popped it out and stuck it in his mouth like nothing.. or so i heard.

SiN

sure, i'd lick my pussy if i could.

hell yeah!

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adisca

I would...

Pellaz

I'm sure I'd try it every now and then, if I physicaly could. Wouldn't do try it more than once a year or so because: a) My wife and I are sexualy open with each other. Odds are that if I've got a yearning for a blowjob, I can recieve one from someone with a much prettier face than myself. b)angle and position are all wrong. Your tounge would be on top of your glans, which for me, isn't nearly as good as underneath. c)and preahps most importantly, I don't have the patience for it, I think.

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Garbalo69

lol fuck no.

If I was a girl, probably, but I would never give myself a damn blowjob.

moonman

it's about the same as masterbating.. only it's a different tech.. so ya i would! )

wally

I think I'd give it a try if I could. Unfortunately, I'm not flexible at all...

rockzilla

There was a Saturday Night Live sketch about that once. Took place in a yoga class. Will Ferrell finally managed to blow himself after years of yoga, the rest of the class wanted him to teach them how too. Turns out he didn't stop for several years.

That being said, if I could get head whenever I wanted it... you're damn right I would.

razavi

No way i am gonna try that

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Disco Stu

Only concern i'd have is the populus of bums that would inhabit the streets with their new found love for the fetal position.

docbungle

Haha, I can just imagine all of you walking around, butt-nekkid, hunched over like a neanderthal, trying like hell to stuff you dick in your mouth.

Funny picture.

And no, I don't think I would. It would be too easy to just wank it. Or maybe just get a real blow, from a real girl.

Scrub0

I can get the head in my mouth. Kind of hurts the back though.

micah67

Curious on whether or not you could do it? First find out if you can bend down and touch your toes without bending your knees...!

I'm not nearly flexible enough.

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