My wife's libido - Page 2 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Plan9 · 04-04-2011, 07:57 AM

Let's go back the OP as a reference and reexamine the raw materials and history.

Cimm, you're confusing former-nympho-lost-drive with dead-fish-never-had-drive.

An over generalization, but it applies to the couple here to frame the discussion.

She didn't have much of a sex drive a decade ago, so consider the raw materials.

As I stated in #37, some women just aren't sexual creatures. Just like some men.

No amount of pampering, free time and foreplay is going to change her into a succubus.

And don't be ridiculous, nobody suggested a "perfect partner." High sex drive is hardly rare.

They're the women we all end up with between our "safe, productive" relationships, right?

Cimarron29414 · 04-04-2011, 09:25 AM

Ralphie,

It's clear I need to frame something so you know where I am coming from. I'm a family guy. I take the vow to my wife extremely seriously. I believe it was a life long contract and I obligated myself to her for life. I believe I owe it to her to be the best husband I can be. I owe it to my child to be the best father I can be. I believe that the diminishing value that our society and its individuals place on these vows and commitments is responsible for a majority of the problems our society faces. I just want you to know "who" is supplying this type of advice. Unless there is some sort of abuse, I am ALWAYS going to steer you towards self-improvement, communication, and strengthening your family bonds.

Others in here have different ways of looking at things and it is good that you have the opportunity to read opposing views. I may disagree with them, but I know them well enough to say that they are intelligent guys. You should look at all the information provided and make the best decision for you.

Plan9 · 04-04-2011, 09:40 AM

Hmm. You're absolutely right, Cimm. The diminishing value that our society places on individual vows and commitments is awful.

I made that vow once and my wife shit on it. I will admit my bitterness toward the value of marriage. I didn't even get a chance to be... yeah.

I'm faithless. I just hope my point got across. I realize that it is covered in vitriol but I am just stating what I believe to be the truth.

ralphie250 · 04-06-2011, 06:43 AM

I understand everyones opnions. Some are good and i disagree with some of them. Some of us have reasons to knock marrage and others dont. I personally take my vows seriously. That is why i am willing to put up with the lack of sex, because other areas make up for it as stated earlier in this thread.
Hopefully in a year or 5 she will reach her sexual peak and i will be happier with out love life. (but by then i proablly wont want to have sex. Lol)

snicka · 04-06-2011, 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ralphie250

I understand everyones opnions. Some are good and i disagree with some of them. Some of us have reasons to knock marrage and others dont. I personally take my vows seriously. That is why i am willing to put up with the lack of sex, because other areas make up for it as stated earlier in this thread.
Hopefully in a year or 5 she will reach her sexual peak and i will be happier with out love life. (but by then i proablly wont want to have sex. Lol)

For the last decade of my marriage I said the same thing, tried every thing possible to get her interested but as someone said before, you gotta look at the raw materials. She never was interested in hetero sex and I wasn't going to change her. I loved her and told myself that having a best friend and partner was worth the frustration and feelings of inadequacy. Once the issue came to a head, after seeing her completely let loose with another woman and realizing that it isn't going to be fixed, we split. Now I have found someone who is my best friend, partner *and* exciting and satisfying lover.

Everyones mileage may vary, and I don't recommend any course of action. Just sharing my experience.

Cimarron29414 · 04-06-2011, 01:01 PM

ralphie,

Has she had her thyroid tested?

EventHorizon · 04-06-2011, 03:18 PM

i dunno i think Jinn had it right,

take care of yourself so you can wake up and look in the mirror and be like "ron burgandy aint got shit on this stud!" and your wife will probably notice. if it doesn't work though, you said it yourself, worse things have happened and you get in shape so why not?

james t kirk · 04-06-2011, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ralphie250

you all have great ideas.
james t kirk, sorry man but i have no intentions of leaving my wife. i love her too much given the facts. not going to get a hooker cause i dont want a disease or to go to jail. (just one want to take the chances)

i have started trying to eat better and watch how much i eat. even if not for sex but for myself and my daughter.

if we have a vanilla sex life then thats what it is. it could be worse.

chumley, you're right her chasing a 3 year old all day can be exhausting. i have done it on many occasions. and youre right, "There's no lack of options shared here".

Then you choose Door No. 1 (Live with the fact that she's just not that sexual.)

That is the correct decision for you and I won't disuade you.

---------- Post added at 07:40 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:36 PM ----------

I've been with my current GF for 4 years. She's insatiable. She can intecourse me under the table and I've always taken great pride in my abilities in the bedroom. She never says no, she loves giving oral to completion (and you know where I complete). She's into porno, BDSM, 3'somes, you name it. She's tall, blonde, university educated, confident, with natural DD's and very firm. If you would meet her, you'd never suspect it - she works in a very conservative industry and wears the suits to work (sometimes with no panties.)

After a weekend with her, I'm ruined for 2 or 3 days.

Cheat on her?

Not possible, I'm too exhausted from keeping up with her.

Do I have it good? I sure do. But to be honest, the last woman I was with was pretty much the same. I've never had much patience and understanding for a woman who wasn't naturally sexual. Oh sure, I've met them in the past, but I dump them in no short order before I get in too deep. I just figure that there are too many naturally lusty women out there to waste my time and energy on one who keeps a dime between her knees at all times. Life is too short.

BTW, the reverse arguement applies. If a woman is with a man who is a dud in the bedroom, and she's naturally lustful - dump his ass now.

ralphie250 · 04-07-2011, 02:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cimarron29414

ralphie,

Has she had her thyroid tested?

Yes, and she is om medication for it. Its REAL low

wyopen · 04-29-2011, 03:58 PM

1. Talk to her about it. Let her know that you want more intimacy with her.
2. Have her get a physical and talk to her doctor about her libido
3. As already mentioned, focus on HER. Talk to her, help her, spend time with her, pamper her, leave her love notes.
4. Tell her OFTEN that you love her and prove it by doing things for her
5. It's time for your 3 year old to spend the weekend with Grandma (or friend) and for the two of you to have 48 hours locked in a hotel room
6. Think "romance" every day
7. Give her some time alone. You babysit and let her go out to a movie, shopping or anything she wants for a day.
8. Rent some romantic movies
9. Give her massages
10. Take long baths or showers together (after the 3 year old is asleep)

One of the best aphrodisiacs is personal attention. Love her and you'll both get rewarded.

04-04-2011, 07:57 AM	#41 (permalink)
Plan9 I Confess a Shiver	Let's go back the OP as a reference and reexamine the raw materials and history. Cimm, you're confusing former-nympho-lost-drive with dead-fish-never-had-drive. An over generalization, but it applies to the couple here to frame the discussion. She didn't have much of a sex drive a decade ago, so consider the raw materials. As I stated in #37, some women just aren't sexual creatures. Just like some men. No amount of pampering, free time and foreplay is going to change her into a succubus. And don't be ridiculous, nobody suggested a "perfect partner." High sex drive is hardly rare. They're the women we all end up with between our "safe, productive" relationships, right? __________________ *Whatever you can carry.* "You should not drink... and bake." Last edited by Plan9; 04-04-2011 at 08:09 AM..

04-04-2011, 09:25 AM	#42 (permalink)
Cimarron29414 Still Free Location: comfortably perched at the top of the bell curve!	Ralphie, It's clear I need to frame something so you know where I am coming from. I'm a family guy. I take the vow to my wife extremely seriously. I believe it was a life long contract and I obligated myself to her for life. I believe I owe it to her to be the best husband I can be. I owe it to my child to be the best father I can be. I believe that the diminishing value that our society and its individuals place on these vows and commitments is responsible for a majority of the problems our society faces. I just want you to know "who" is supplying this type of advice. Unless there is some sort of abuse, I am ALWAYS going to steer you towards self-improvement, communication, and strengthening your family bonds. Others in here have different ways of looking at things and it is good that you have the opportunity to read opposing views. I may disagree with them, but I know them well enough to say that they are intelligent guys. You should look at all the information provided and make the best decision for you. __________________ Gives a man a halo, does mead. "Here lies The_Jazz: Killed by an ambitious, sparkly, pink butterfly."

04-04-2011, 09:40 AM	#43 (permalink)
Plan9 I Confess a Shiver	Hmm. You're absolutely right, Cimm. The diminishing value that our society places on individual vows and commitments is awful. I made that vow once and my wife shit on it. I will admit my bitterness toward the value of marriage. I didn't even get a chance to be... yeah. I'm faithless. I just hope my point got across. I realize that it is covered in vitriol but I am just stating what I believe to be the truth. __________________ *Whatever you can carry.* "You should not drink... and bake." Last edited by Plan9; 04-04-2011 at 09:45 AM..

04-06-2011, 01:01 PM	#46 (permalink)
Cimarron29414 Still Free Location: comfortably perched at the top of the bell curve!	ralphie, Has she had her thyroid tested? __________________ Gives a man a halo, does mead. "Here lies The_Jazz: Killed by an ambitious, sparkly, pink butterfly."

04-29-2011, 03:58 PM	#50 (permalink)
wyopen Upright Location: Montana	1. Talk to her about it. Let her know that you want more intimacy with her. 2. Have her get a physical and talk to her doctor about her libido 3. As already mentioned, focus on HER. Talk to her, help her, spend time with her, pamper her, leave her love notes. 4. Tell her OFTEN that you love her and prove it by doing things for her 5. It's time for your 3 year old to spend the weekend with Grandma (or friend) and for the two of you to have 48 hours locked in a hotel room 6. Think "romance" every day 7. Give her some time alone. You babysit and let her go out to a movie, shopping or anything she wants for a day. 8. Rent some romantic movies 9. Give her massages 10. Take long baths or showers together (after the 3 year old is asleep) One of the best aphrodisiacs is personal attention. Love her and you'll both get rewarded.