Makhnov

So it is evident that there is a segment of people on this forum who do not see sex as an end in itself. Instead they see sex as a mere tool (of many tools) whose use is to enhance and solidify the emotional bonds of a relationship. Their primary value and their imperative in life is the maintenance of the relationship itself, with sacrifices made in time and money for its sake. I think this segment of our posters here has made their voices heard and their message has been clearly and continuously communicated. There is no reason to re-hash all those arguments again.

I am different. To me sex is a drug. I consume it like a drug and I want to investigate its various flavors. I want to use sex to better understand biology and my emotions and my place in the universe. I do not want to eat fast food. I want to be a connoisseur; a traveling "wine taster". If sex is better with a group, or if it is better when my partner is bound, gagged, and blindfolded -- I want to know that. If sex has a serious potential for addiction, I am ready to take on such an addiction. I do not turn my eyes away from these possibilities, and I do not shrink from them in a moral panic. I do not want to go to my grave *not knowing* the true nature of sexuality.

It is highly unlikely that I am the only human being on this forum who feels this way. Those of you who are sympathetic, please make your voice heard in this thread. If sex is a drug to you, chime in!

(You married people and you hopeless romantics, please refrain from posting here. I'm trying to progress beyond the sanitized subject matter found on daytime cable news channels. Your opinions have already been voiced, heard, and digested several times. Thanks.)

Starkizzer

I am married. I am a hopeless romantic.

That being stated, I also engage in sexual activities outside of the "norm". I peg my husband. We enjoy MMF threesome on a consistent basis. I believe in polyamory and I believe kink has a place in the world. I am an exhibitionist, a committed lover and a loving spouse. I am also kinky, on the milder side of the kink spectrum perhaps. But I fall into both of your categories. I think you need to see that there is no fine line when it comes to sex and the way people view it.

Yes, it is good to incorporate sex into my relationship as it makes me feel closer and more intimate with my husband. However, we also enjoy the thrill of sex. You yourself say it helps you understand your emotions, thus you too are using sex as a tool and not as an end. You are just using this tool in a different way.

That all being said, what are you wanting to discuss here? What do we get out of sex? Why we have sex? What kinky stuff have we tried?

__________________
Frivolity, at the edge of a Moral Swamp, hears Hymn-Singing in the Distance and dons the Galoshes of Remorse. ~Edward Gorey

MrFriendly

Firstly, whether you like it or not, people who disagree with you are going to make themselves heard, in here and the real world. That you're just going to have to harden up and get used to.

Secondly, if your personal choice in life to only have sex for sex sake, then don't let us stop you. If that's what you really want in your life, you should feel no need to defend your choices, just so long as this life style doesn't harm or disadvantage anyone else in the process.

Personally, I don't agree with your view towards sex, I'm not sure how you can say you want to explore every aspects of sexuality and totally deny a whole facet of it. To best honest man it just sounds like masturbation.

I've experienced addiction in many different forms, from drugs and booze to video games and even exercise. Without getting all pop psych 101, the compulsion to do those things to the detriment of other aspects of ones life stems from a serious internal conflict within the mind.

__________________
You are not a slave

The_Jazz

Yeah, I for one don't like it when folks try to dictate when I can't express my opinion. Not that I intend on expressing one here, just noting that I don't like it when folks try to dismiss me out of hand.

__________________
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

dlish

Your narcissism is drenched in every comment of your OP. Good luck trying to find people willing to participate in the circlejerk thread you're inviting them to.

The fact that you ask for posts only from people who agree with you speaks volumes.

__________________
An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

mixedmedia

I have to agree with dlish.

And I will add, your presence here feels calculated. It seems you are not here for anything but the public space. People pick up on that around here. And you know what else? You whine about how all these 'other people' jump all over you and your threads, but, boo hoo, you really haven't seen shit. Relatively speaking you've practically been given the key to the city. So suck it up, Braveheart.

As for the subject at hand. You're addicted to sex, wow. Join the fucking club.

PS, it is better when you're bound and gagged. Maybe you should try it.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

Manic_Skafe

I'll spare you the condemnation since others here have already slammed you well enough and justifiably so. In the interests of salvaging an actual discussion out of this mess I'll add that I'm not in a committed relationship and I've probably had more than my fair share of sexual exploits and I've come to realize that a great deal of that depth to be found in exploring one's own sexuality has little if anything to do at all with the physical act. Ironically enough, there seems to be quite a bit you're missing out on.

Most of us found our way here through our love of sex and a shared willingness to engage in progressive discussions about it. We're not prudes, it just seems you haven't quite considered how your notions of connoisseurship contradict those of meaningful exploration. This would've been an appropriate enough place for discussion had the conversation gone either way but one can hardly expect to be invited in for dinner and dessert with an introduction like that.

__________________
"Porn is a zoo of exotic animals that becomes boring upon ownership." -Nersesian

Makhnov

Speak volumes. In what way does it speak volumes? I have already heard, understood, and digested and contemplated the position of the married romantics on this forum. I didn't want to hear from them because I did not want to re-hash it all over again. That's all.

Are these people going to keep repeating themselves every time I make a thread? When is that going to get old for them? It is become old and tired for me already.

---------- Post added at 01:02 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:43 PM ----------

(Now a message to the everyone in the thread, since this place "attaches" follow ups onto the proceeding message)

I am a human being with ten fingers and ten toes. I cannot fathom that my understanding of the nature of men's biologically sexuality is so absolutely contrary to what all of you are saying. It is just not plausible in my mind that I am that different from all of you. There seems to be something about your sexuality which you are not admitting to or being honest about in its true manifestation.

The set of biological stimuli required for a man's body to complete a sex act does not seem to contain within itself these various aspects of which you are demanding I conjure up for some reason. You are going to have to tell me exactly why you demand I conjure up these things. These reasons appear to be solely political or cultural; in any case, none of you are stating them in clear english. In the thread that cynthetiq decided to lock on me, we have the example of Iris. She had group sex with five black men and later described the experience as unforseen types of euphoria. There was no romance in the act, and in modern times, it would be considered very dangerous. Iris's experience annihilates any faux argument about sex acts requiring care, mutuality, or even a feeling of safety.

We could possibly live in a universe in which a man's body cannot complete a sex act unless he feels complete trust and emotional connection with his partner. We don't live in that universe. Do we?

If the true nature of men's sexuality looks more like a criminal assault than it does a marriage ceremony -- if that is the case, do not point your anger at me. Take your anger out on God, or on evolution, or wherever it is you think humanity sprang from.

Plan9

Well, you did just walk into a small, exclusive community and take a dump on the coffee table.

It certainly started some conversations. Perhaps not the ones you expected or desired.

The same old crowd will be commenting because that's all we've got here, bro.

This isn't SomethingAwful or Reddit or another anonymous text rant toilet.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

dlish

If you're looking for a place to find people to stroke your ego, then this place aint it bud.

I dont think anyone here questions your sexuality. In fact you've got a right to express yourself sexually if you so desire.

But all im really seeing in your threads isnt a sexually liberated male that likes to fuck women for pleasure, but rather a social outcast and an insecure male that needs to be validated by perfect online strangers to keep his fantasies alive.

all males have the same biological make-up. everyone here is a product of their environment and their experiences. some choose things that others dont. big flippin' deal. its human nature to act innately, and this manifests itself in different ways depending on the way you've experienced life, regardless of where you live and whatever diety you believe in.

But your little show here isnt new, and you're not unique by any means. People like you swing past our front door every so often and shit on our doorstep and then make an unsurprising quick exit (with and without external help). Your attempts to belittle others and take the high road to get your point across is no new trick. Pony.

I suggest you pick up your level of discourse and learn how to discuss things with people before we all go lord of the flies on you.

__________________
An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

mixedmedia

I can't seem to get a grip on what he thinks is so special about his sexual needs. It's as if he thinks all people in committed relationships have sex on beds of rose petals with long, slow, lingering kisses that are followed by looking each other deeply in the eyes and professing an undying love. It ain't like that. Not in my relationship, anyway. And not in most of the relationships on this board, I imagine. I mean, sometimes it's nice. But sex is not about romance for many, maybe even most, people. It's hot. It's dirty. It's rutting. fucking. forced blowjobs. anal sex. bondage. spankings. mutual masturbation. pegging. toe sucking. threesomes. prostate massage with long, slow, teasing handjobs...
What is it exactly that you believe married or committed couples can't do? You seem to have a really limited understanding of what married sex is all about.

And for that matter, how much sex have you had, anyway? I feel there is sooo much unsaid with you. Part of me is beginning to think you are totally full of shit and all of this is just a fantasy life in your head. Prove me wrong.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

The_Jazz

mixedmedia, I'm going to take a stab in the dark here and say that we're being set up for a pedophilia justification. After all, I MUST be wrong because I'm a married man. I'm clearly in denial of something, and all the other usual kinks have been ruled out. Given that homosexuality seems to be off the table as well, I doubt we'll get anything as imaginative as zoophilia.

Makhnov, your example of Iris is a single data point drawn from fiction. I don't see how it really proves or disproves anything here in the real world. It certainly doesn't prove anything about men as a gender.

But whatever. You're trying to create an echo chamber, which is fundamentally uninteresting.

__________________
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

mixedmedia

well yes, I've considered that, too. Picked up clues here and there - the human dignity thread, for instance. I don't know why I keep falling for his painstakingly overwrought diversions. (well, yes I do, lol) But it's really annoying when people won't come out and say what they mean. I suppose he has good reason, though.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

jewels

I absolutely adore you, MM.

"These people" are the community known as TFP. It's ironic you would talk about repetition. All of your posts follow the same basic theme and none of them specify anything that's even remotely debatable.

A man walks into a party where he sees everyone talking and having a good time. He starts a conversation wherein he states that women must be objectified, lest the men become controlled objects by the amazonian authority of the pussy. To further his cause, he moves on to another group and tells those who are in relationships how inferior they are because he's so intellectually advanced that he can just utilize orifices and hearts as he sees fit. Oh and so sorry, but you must leave the conversation if you don't agree. No humans allowed.

What the hell were you expecting anyway? I still think you and the Psychopath are one and the same.

__________________
We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain

ring

sex as a drug - sex as drug

Quote from the above:"This has everything to do with getting men in a group organized so that they can achieve what they desire. Everything is in place, and the only element lacking is organization."

Grasshopper Green

I'm really not sure what the purpose of your OP is, so I'll just say this:

In my experience (observational, not personal), the single folks here have nothing on the attached people in the way of sexual exploration, kink, and general sexual openmindedness. I would venture to say the majority of the attached folks sex lives are anything but "sanitized", as you categorize it. By dismissing that group out of hand, you're dismissing a wealth of experience and knowledge. Personally, I don't post much in this particular niche of the TFP. However, the bits I have shared have only been shared because of the maturity of the population here and because this forum is discussion based, not flaming or shenanigans or vitriol-spewing based. How many places on the internet can one say the same for?

If you don't like our sandbox, take your ball and go home.

/rant

__________________
"They say that patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings; steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king"

Formerly Medusa

mixedmedia

well, very interesting.

EDIT: never mind. I don't want to go there. It's dumb.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

Baraka_Guru

Here's a hint: there is more than one mode.

Here's a question: if you wish to explore the emotional ties to sexuality, you might need to ponder the various aspects of relationships. For starters, sex isn't by any means only used as a means to maintain a relationship. In many ways, the maintenance of a relationship is a side effect of a healthy sex life, among other things.

So are you more or less wishing to explore what kinds of relationships are best suited to your sexual desires? Or are you more or less wishing to form a series of relationships based on a premise of hedonism? Maybe you wish to simply explore the various emotional drives behind sexuality, which might draw you towards forming a wide array of relationship types, from anonymous to casual to meaningful to dependency.

What other way to fully explore sexuality?

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

The_Dunedan

I thought he'd tried that already, in the "Preferences" thread? That was certainly the impression that I got, and my impression has only been strengthened since.

We've had several people say things like this in regards to sexuality. One of them was an alleged "sex therapist," the other was just an idiot. They all said the exact same thing.

Person 1: Insisted that all males were by definition sexually attracted to other males, that heterosexual sex was simply a biological imperative which should be suppressed and ignored whenever possible, and that men had to be conditioned (ie brainwashed) to desire women because what we all -really- wanted was to cuddle up to a hot piece of man-meat after being anonymously groped on the Mumbai-Jaipur Express bus.

Person 2: Insisted that all males were by definition sexually attracted to women, that gay men were -actually- sexually aroused by women but had been conditioned (ie brainwashed) to desire men. Also insisted that it was impossible for men to be raped (because men don't want sex with men, and women are made of flowers and bunny-rabbits), that various kinks practiced by people here were fictitious or only occurred in the most "gonzo" of porn, etc.

Both of these people's positions were characterized by the same self-obsessed, narcissistic, totally-disjointed-from-reality self-praise as your nonsense, although at least neither of them appears to have ever tried to justify paedophilia. Neither of them could (or would) provide any backup for anything they said other than "I'm right and you know I'm right so just shut up and agree with me," despite having been shown a great deal of evidence that they were, in fact, wrong. Person #2 even insisted that it was "common knowledge" that gay men got hard for sexy women.

You are nothing new here, tovarisch.

__________________
"I personally think that America's interests would be well served if after or at the time these clowns begin their revolting little hate crime the local police come in and cart them off on some trumped up charges or other. It is necessary in my opinion that America makes an example of them to the world."

--Strange Famous, advocating the use of falsified charges in order to shut people up.

Baraka_Guru

Well, there is always the "sex as drug = habitual indulgence = lack of control" to fall back on. Sort of an "It's not me, it's the sexual drive innate in every male" kind of thing.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Redlemon

To summarize: "Everyone disagrees with me. Everyone else must be wrong."

Occam's Razor says otherwise.

__________________
I can't read your signature. Sorry.

Makhnov

(1) I have never said that "women must be objectified". I did not imply that. I did not say that. I never posted it nor implied it anywhere on this forum. You are putting words in my mouth. What you are doing is willfull bald-faced lying and slander. This thread is about the true nature of men's sexuality, not the crap they sell in romance novels. The true biological nature of men's sexuality is not what men here are suggesting it is. That is the point. I am not here to re-hash cultural games and dishonesty that is present in a dinner party. We are going to get the bottom of this no matter how defiled we all feel when we face the reality of our true nature. If this exercise is something you are not interested in, please refrain from posting your bullshit in my threads.

(2) I did not purport any kind of superiority of any kind regarding myself or anyone else here. I have never claimed nor implied any kind of intellectual advantage over anyone else here. If you want to spend your money, your energy, and your time raising kids in a nice safe neighborhood in the suburbs - go do so. I respect you to the bottom of my heart. I wish you the utmost success in your endeavors. Godspeed. I have already heard what you people have to say. I do not want to interact with you. I want you to go away.

Jewels -- What I want from you and the rest of this forum is to explain in plain english what is wrong with objectification. I have given you and everyone else on this forum multiple, open-ended, polite, juicy opportunities to state why objectification is wrong. You have refused at every turn to provide any kind of response. You chose to not answer me at every spot that I allowed for you to say it.

Instead you have decided to be a passive aggressive little weasle who snipes from the sidelines, using "We all know why its bad but we aint gonna tell ya" position.

ring

Makhnov, these words below are yours, Yes? No?
I just want to make sure before I comment further.

"I intend to find others who consume sex like a drug in the way I do. And if I cannot find this in single women, I will turn to prostitutes. And if I cannot find legal means of doing this where I live, then I will travel overseas to get my drug.

With lack of trust comes lack of safety, and I am cognizant of the possibility of being mugged, robbed or killed. I plan to bring with me a coterie of men with similar goals, and we will keep one another safe from harm. We will be armed, and we will act in secret.

I know what I want and I know exactly where to get it. As God as my witness, this will come to pass."

The_Jazz

Makhnov - I think you owe Jewels an apology. First, she didn't lie. She stated her opinion. Unless you're implying that her opinion is somehow different than what she wrote, then there's no lie.

Second, she didn't slander you. Slander is when I say that you're a Nazi. Now, you're not actually a Nazi (unless you're now going to reveal that you are) and I'm not saying that about you, just using it for a point. So I haven't slandered you either.

Now, you may not think that you've claimed or implied anything, but in truth you have. In your opening post in this thread, you've implied that anyone with an opinion different than yours is lesser. You did that by trying to require that they keep out of the thread. Jewels is not going to "go away". Neither am I.

Effectively, you're trying to silence anyone who disagrees. If you're building up to something, I wish you'd hurry the fuck up with it since you're currently descending into "delusional pretentious fucktard" territory.

__________________
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

jewels

So then your question is "Why is objectification wrong?"

If I'm not putting words into your mouth, I think we can answer that one.

Admittedly, sometimes we as women look for objectification. We utilize our sexuality to attract men. It's in our nature, I agree. But your posts imply that women are merely object to be attained and controlled, and that I don't agree with based on the simple fact that we're human beings, often with great intelligence and talents, who are entitled to be looked upon as more than mere morsels of meat. We don't look at men that way, or maybe you think we should? For me, that's objectification. Taking one aspect of what makes a woman a woman and presenting it as the full picture.

I've never been called a weasle before, but you are entitled to your opinion. And the good thing about the free world is that everyone has the right to be heard, whether or not what they say is perceived as bullshit.

If you're looking for your own personal thread where you receive can receive only responses that you like, you may want to visit the Blog section. It allows you total control.

__________________
We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain

Baraka_Guru

Oh, technically the issue would be regarding libel, not slander, but whatever.

I just wanted to thank you, Jazz, for saying (in your post in its entirety) what I wanted to say myself, except probably more direct and a bit more comprehensively. Thanks.

So, +1, I guess, or QFT, whatever works best.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

ring

I am going to believe that someone who would post this flagrant nonsense is not going
to actually take an armed coterie of like minded people global hopping for sex.

Yeah..."We will act in secret" Duh. You just posted your intent in very public message
boards. Like that doesn't sound the alert to be investigated or anything.

It reminds me a bit, of this:

"...as God Is My Witness They’re Not Going to lick Me! I’m Going to live through This and When It’s All Over, I’ll Never Be Hungry Again! ... If I Have to lie, Steal, Cheat or Kill! as God Is My Witness, I’ll Never Be Hungry Again!"

The_Dunedan

Horseshit. You claimed immediately above that:

And you know this....how? You -know- this in spite of what the Men on this forum/thread have told you about -their- sexuality? Sounds pretty damned superior to me, since (like most pontificators of your stripe) you've provided not one shred of evidence for your positions other than your own twisted, out-of-phase crap which sounds more and more like you're trying to find someone to either help you rape underage prostitutes, or someone to tell you that raping underage prostitutes is OK.

And frankly, it really chafes my gunbelt to have a "person" who appears to be trolling for approval of rape and paedophilia acting superior to me or anybody else.

You wanna bang hot girls? Be my guest. But you're talking about going around, "underground" as it were, with a group of armed men who share your attitudes towards women. That's a whole 'nother matter.

Bluntly put, "men" like you are why all of my female relatives are heavily armed and highly proficient. "Men" like you are why every week the Prague Metro Police are peeling some poor girl off a wall someplace. "Men" like you are the reason so many scared, scarred, fucked-up Ukrainian and Phillipine girls end up on the streets of New York every winter. You wanna come in here and act like a martyr or like some kind of spurned guru because a messageboard full of intelligent adults with actual healthy relationships didn't take kindly to this crap? Trust me: a -lot- of people are holding their tongues right now insofar as they haven't just roundly cursed you for what you give every impression of being: a paedophile, a rapist (in fantasy if not yet in fact), and an enabler/justifier of said atrocities. At best, your attitude towards women is utterly disgusting. We won't discuss the Worst: you sound as if you'd enjoy that too much.

__________________
"I personally think that America's interests would be well served if after or at the time these clowns begin their revolting little hate crime the local police come in and cart them off on some trumped up charges or other. It is necessary in my opinion that America makes an example of them to the world."

--Strange Famous, advocating the use of falsified charges in order to shut people up.

mixedmedia

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being objectified. I love it and engage in it willingly and often. Keyword being willingly.

And since, to my knowledge, no one on this earth is born with your foot up their ass, I think it's safe to assume that it is no one's obligation to be objectified by you.

I can see now why you are so willingly resigned to having to pay for sex. I've never met anyone so talented at making the subject of sex so tiresome and non-sexy.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

Cimarron29414

Hey Mak, mind if I call you Mak? Mak, this is how you accomplish that! Just thought I'd help you, help me.

Attached Images

Thanks.jpg (57.4 KB, 112 views)

__________________
Gives a man a halo, does mead.

"Here lies The_Jazz: Killed by an ambitious, sparkly, pink butterfly."

Iliftrocks

Well then, what is "the true biological nature of men's sexuality"? I am a male, a man, and I have sex, and that's all I thought it was, but impart some knowledge on this poor, misbegotten soul, and tell me what I do not know about my sexuality.

__________________
bill hicks - "I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out."

The_Jazz

What we have here is a difference of opinion. And you know what? That's just fine. I'm all for it. But when people get all huffy and threatening about disagreements, the fun stops. Clearly there are parties here that are misunderstanding one another.

So, before someone gets all angry and makes threats about owning firearms and being ready to use them on folks, let's realize that part of the free flow of ideas is dealing with ideas that differ from your own. Especially if those are preconceived. If you can't figure out a way to do that, you don't belong here.

____________________________________Post Break_____________________________________________________________

It's not often that we give post-mortems on why we ban people, but this one seems to call for it. We can produce chat logs if need be, and this seems like the best venue for this comment given the circumstances.

Makhnov felt that he was being physically threatened by folks in this thread and libeled (he said slandered but that's not what he meant) by several. He decided that his best course of action was to go to chat and vent. He was frustrated that several of his threads were closed without being given a chance to develop and did not like the responses to this thread. He was given adequate opportunity to propose solutions for what he perceived as problems but ultimatedly elected that "fuck you" was his best bet.

Yeah. That's usually not a good course of action anywhere that at least tries to err on the side of "mature". He is not welcome to come back in the future.

You're welcome to search and find his threads that were locked. I think that the majority will agree that those that were locked did not provide much fodder for discussion. Those that did tended to take on an adversarial tone fairly quickly (although, in his defense, not all). I feel very confident when I say that we consistently upheld our standards for Original Posts with those actions. We would have done the same regardless of the poster (and I did today, for that matter).

There is also the matter of perception here. I'm painfully aware that perception is almost always reality on the internet, but there are times where two very different realities exist side-by-side. In this instance, there was a reality that existed for a single member and one that, it seems, existed for the entire rest of the board. We do not take threats against our members very lightly (ask around), and we took this one very seriously. Ultimately, though, it was obvious that no threat existed.

We really try hard to treat complaints evenly and with no favoritism. Ultimately, I think that we suceeded in this case, even though that meant that we've permanently parted ways with Mahknov.

We're going to leave this thread open and active for now. That may change in the near future, depending on the responses.

Finally, as always, the staff is always available to answer any questions privately.

__________________
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

mixedmedia

I think you did the right thing. Much like a spammer, makhnov came here with an agenda and it didn't appear likely that he was ever going to share with the community his opinion on Christmas trees, his outlook on socialized medicine or a kickass chili recipe. Know what I mean?
I don't think the tfp owes anyone a space to flex their own personal hangups anonymously without sharing more of their personality. Otherwise, who cares?

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Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

cadre

I was going to cone in here and comment that I kind of agree with your statement. I just had this conversation with a friend not too long ago. I know there are many members of this board who are interested in sex as an experience especially the "married romantics" you keep referring to. A lot of us long time members are here because we feel that way. But we have a very different way of expressing ourselves which is why you are causing problems.

Stop attacking people and grow up. When you can express your opinion without being rude or condescending you'll stop being attacked. It doesn't help that your posts are not asking for opinions.

And for what it's worth, I can admit that I have struggled with sex addiction in the past. It got me raped, beaten and now I have an STD. Two years later I haven't recovered. I have only recently gotten interested in 'kinky' activities. Sex is something to be enjoyed, but safety is necessary. If you don't believe me, you will when you get yourself into trouble.

I'm going to stop feeding the troll now.

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My life is one of those 'you had to be there' jokes.

Craven Morehead

Looks like the OP is looking for justification for screwing anything he wants - wrapped in big fancy words.

Cimarron29414

Jazz,

I'm surprised he lasted this long - a tribute to the patience of the staff. His posts were entirely declarative. We were supposed to shut up and listen. Worst off, he was disrespectful with our ladies and that's a big no-no. I don't mean that in a protective sense - our ladies generally take care of themselves. What I mean is that I value their presence and it pisses me off when a post might inhibit their participation.

mm- that's all just a bag of wind until you share your chili recipe. Mine, because of my busy schedule, starts with "Bear Creek: Damned Good Chili" mix...yeah, I know. I brown some ground beef in a bit of oil and sprinkle with salt, pepper, cumin, and cinnamin. Then I pick clean a Publix roast chicken and add it to the beef for a few minutes. I pour the mix in the water, add an extra can of navy beans and black beans and the meat. I usually add two or three bay leaves. Then, I'll start adding chili powder and indian red pepper until I get the heat where I want it. Top it with sour cream and cheese. It's a complete cop out, but I can't successfully invent a better recipe.

It's a thread jack, but it seems appropriate to jack Makhnov's sociopathic narcissism with chili recipes.

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Gives a man a halo, does mead.

"Here lies The_Jazz: Killed by an ambitious, sparkly, pink butterfly."

Tusko

i masturbate when i'm upset or stressed out.
easy way to neuatralize feelings and even yourself out.