She won't stay gone!!! - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

crow_daw · 07-08-2003, 10:12 PM

First off, I'm not totally sure about the placement of this thread. My problem has nothing to do with sex, yet in Tilted Living it plainly states to post relationship threads in Tilted Sexuality. So mods, feel free to move this thread as you see fit.

OK, now to the problem. My ex-girlfriend and I were in the most serious relationship either of us has ever had. Now, I am young indeed(18), but it was still a serious relationship. She is a person who acts on impulse, and we would get into fights and break up every now and again. And that would last about two days, because she would just get overly emotional, and realize it had been a mistake. But one time, she told me she was totally serious about it being over. One week later, she wrote me a freeverse poem confessing her love and all this stuff. She swore she'd change and wouldn't act on impulse anymore. So I took her back. Everything went great for two months, and then out of the blue, no fight or anything, she left me again. We've been broken up for a month or so now, and guess who's back? Yup, we talked on the phone for three and a half hours tonight, and we're going swimming together tomorrow. I guess I really do love her or something, because its so hard to turn her down. I know that this is probably not what I NEED, but its definitely what I WANT. There's just something about her. Help me, my TFP family.

Side note: Its not a possibilty that shes using me in anyway, if that is anyones first impression. And it should also be noted, that when we're together, it goes GREAT. We hardly ever fight, and theres no cheating at all, we are really happy.

boober · 07-08-2003, 10:46 PM

It's hard to turn her down because it's familiar and comfortable. What makes you think this time will be any different? Have you told her how you feel about it?

Honestly, in my opinion, get out, meet other women. You're 18, you have years to figure out who you want to be with. Even if you don't think you're being used and it's great being together, you can't deny that you get pretty damned hurt every time she wanders off. Is she really worth it?

phredgreen · 07-08-2003, 10:56 PM

drama = bad news down the line. if you want to keep playing the game for a while that's fine, it's your headaches, but please, for the love of pete (or bob, or whomever you turn to when shit goes down) don't do anything stupid like settling down with this girl. enjoy it for a while, then get your ass to college or community college or some kind of program where you're surrounded by new people... i'm garunteeing you at least half of those people will be female and i'ms ure there's one or two that you should spend some quality time with...

so play the game and have fun, but when you're ready to grow and develop yourself emotionally and sexually, bail on this nutjob.

JStrider · 07-08-2003, 11:19 PM

its easy its comfortable... *shrug* theyve all said it before me... if you do take her back maybe you should be the one to end it... see how she reacts... or you could just tell her you want an open relationship... use her as a booty call... *shrug*

in the long run i think she sounds like bad news...dont make it a permanent relationship...

Pedialyte · 07-08-2003, 11:50 PM

Dude i just went through nearly the exact same thing... get away man... dont sink yourself down to being jerked around like that. Seriously... it will never change, the pattern will never cease.

Mael · 07-09-2003, 04:04 PM

shoot her. it didn't work with the damn cat (that came back and back and back etc...). just kidding. keep her till you find somone new, or get rid of her now. just get it in your head that you're not gonna be with her long term, and that it's over for good, but you can wait to do it on your terms. although i guess keeping her around for sex until you find someone else is a bit of an assy thing to do (assuming you don't tell her it's just booty calls from now on), but hey, your young, you can still get away with saying that you're a stupid kid and made a mistake doing that. sorry, i guess today my 2 cents aren't worth even half of that.

sub zero · 07-09-2003, 04:24 PM

Quote:

Its not a possibilty that shes using me in anyway...and theres no cheating at all

In a word; BULLSHIT.

History repeats itself. This should be obvious to you.

Quote:

I guess I really do love her or something

Me thinketh the latter: "or something"

If you're looking for a longterm relationship, this girl is NOT the one for you. Girls like that are too flaky to be to stand still. They see something shiny in the midst and their wings automatically start flapping to rush them in that direction. It's simple man. Don't be fooled by thinking that you love her. Don't EVER be tricked by thinking she loves you. She does not love you.

Find yourself another girl who has had her wings clipped. That is, unless you, yourself, don't understand the meaning of committment.

Obligatory poem:

You don't love her. She doesn't love you. Yall are two birds in a nest. Fuck her then you're through.

eribrav · 07-09-2003, 05:04 PM

You may want to check out the thread in the General Discussion area about people being happier as they age.

I would suggest you end this and find a better situation. If she's willing to carry on as a booty call, that's one thing. But you don't need to put up with the drama queen crap. As you age you will become less indulgent of immature impulsive behavior. Might as well end this now before it gets harder to do in the future.

slunk007 · 07-09-2003, 08:13 PM

I've gone thru the exact same thing. The more drama there is, the more you think it means something. But the truth of the matter is, it doesn't mean a whole lot of anything.

I broke up with a girl like that. We still call each other on the phone occasionally (once every 4 months) and we are still friends. However, I can honestly say that I'm damn glad I got out of that vicious cycle. Break up to make up. Break up to make up. Not my kind of mantra.

Be good about it. End it on good terms. Don't use people even if they use you. And DON'T LOOK BACK.

My first ever post. My 2 cents.

crow_daw · 07-10-2003, 05:41 PM

Thanks for all the opinions guys, I've kind of come to a decision on this now. Me and my best friend are going through this same thing kinda. And we think we're gonna try to take the relationships very lightly. As in, we're just gonna take it all as it comes and just have fun and not worry about it. I'm through taking her so seriously and worrying about her and the relationship itself so damn much. So I'm gonna be with her, but not be with her heavily at all, if that makes any sense. I'm just not gonna care like I used to. You guys think thats acceptable?

Holo · 07-11-2003, 07:54 AM

Ever heard the song Baker Baker by Tori amos?

http://www.absolutedivas.com/tori/ly...kerbaker.shtml

07-08-2003, 10:12 PM	#1 (permalink)
crow_daw Idolator Location: Vol Country	She won't stay gone!!! First off, I'm not totally sure about the placement of this thread. My problem has nothing to do with sex, yet in Tilted Living it plainly states to post relationship threads in Tilted Sexuality. So mods, feel free to move this thread as you see fit. OK, now to the problem. My ex-girlfriend and I were in the most serious relationship either of us has ever had. Now, I am young indeed(18), but it was still a serious relationship. She is a person who acts on impulse, and we would get into fights and break up every now and again. And that would last about two days, because she would just get overly emotional, and realize it had been a mistake. But one time, she told me she was totally serious about it being over. One week later, she wrote me a freeverse poem confessing her love and all this stuff. She swore she'd change and wouldn't act on impulse anymore. So I took her back. Everything went great for two months, and then out of the blue, no fight or anything, she left me again. We've been broken up for a month or so now, and guess who's back? Yup, we talked on the phone for three and a half hours tonight, and we're going swimming together tomorrow. I guess I really do love her or something, because its so hard to turn her down. I know that this is probably not what I NEED, but its definitely what I WANT. There's just something about her. Help me, my TFP family. Side note: Its not a possibilty that shes using me in anyway, if that is anyones first impression. And it should also be noted, that when we're together, it goes GREAT. We hardly ever fight, and theres no cheating at all, we are really happy. __________________ "We each have a star, all we have to do is find it. Once you do, everyone who sees it will be blinded." - Earl Simmons

07-08-2003, 10:56 PM	#3 (permalink)
phredgreen who? Location: the phoenix metro	drama = bad news down the line. if you want to keep playing the game for a while that's fine, it's your headaches, but please, for the love of pete (or bob, or whomever you turn to when shit goes down) don't do anything stupid like settling down with this girl. enjoy it for a while, then get your ass to college or community college or some kind of program where you're surrounded by new people... i'm garunteeing you at least half of those people will be female and i'ms ure there's one or two that you should spend some quality time with... so play the game and have fun, but when you're ready to grow and develop yourself emotionally and sexually, bail on this nutjob. __________________ My country is the world, and my religion is to do good. - Thomas Paine

07-08-2003, 11:19 PM	#4 (permalink)
JStrider Poo-tee-weet? Location: The Woodlands, TX	its easy its comfortable... shrug theyve all said it before me... if you do take her back maybe you should be the one to end it... see how she reacts... or you could just tell her you want an open relationship... use her as a booty call... shrug in the long run i think she sounds like bad news...dont make it a permanent relationship... __________________ -=JStrider=- ~Clatto Verata Nicto

07-10-2003, 05:41 PM	#10 (permalink)
crow_daw Idolator Location: Vol Country	Thanks for all the opinions guys, I've kind of come to a decision on this now. Me and my best friend are going through this same thing kinda. And we think we're gonna try to take the relationships very lightly. As in, we're just gonna take it all as it comes and just have fun and not worry about it. I'm through taking her so seriously and worrying about her and the relationship itself so damn much. So I'm gonna be with her, but not be with her heavily at all, if that makes any sense. I'm just not gonna care like I used to. You guys think thats acceptable? __________________ "We each have a star, all we have to do is find it. Once you do, everyone who sees it will be blinded." - Earl Simmons

07-11-2003, 07:54 AM	#11 (permalink)
Holo A Real American	Ever heard the song Baker Baker by Tori amos? http://www.absolutedivas.com/tori/ly...kerbaker.shtml __________________ I happen to like the words "fuck", "cock", "pussy", "tits", "cunt", "twat", "shit" and even "bitch". As long as I am not using them to describe you, don't go telling me whether or not I can/should use them...that is, if you want me to continue refraining from using them to describe you. ~Prince

07-08-2003, 10:46 PM	#2 (permalink)
boober Crazy Location: Western Cananananda	It's hard to turn her down because it's familiar and comfortable. What makes you think this time will be any different? Have you told her how you feel about it? Honestly, in my opinion, get out, meet other women. You're 18, you have years to figure out who you want to be with. Even if you don't think you're being used and it's great being together, you can't deny that you get pretty damned hurt every time she wanders off. Is she really worth it?

07-08-2003, 11:50 PM	#5 (permalink)
Pedialyte Crazy Location: Minneapolis	Dude i just went through nearly the exact same thing... get away man... dont sink yourself down to being jerked around like that. Seriously... it will never change, the pattern will never cease.

07-09-2003, 04:04 PM	#6 (permalink)
Mael Banned Location: The Hell I Created.	shoot her. it didn't work with the damn cat (that came back and back and back etc...). just kidding. keep her till you find somone new, or get rid of her now. just get it in your head that you're not gonna be with her long term, and that it's over for good, but you can wait to do it on your terms. although i guess keeping her around for sex until you find someone else is a bit of an assy thing to do (assuming you don't tell her it's just booty calls from now on), but hey, your young, you can still get away with saying that you're a stupid kid and made a mistake doing that. sorry, i guess today my 2 cents aren't worth even half of that.

07-09-2003, 05:04 PM	#8 (permalink)
eribrav Junkie Location: upstate NY	You may want to check out the thread in the General Discussion area about people being happier as they age. I would suggest you end this and find a better situation. If she's willing to carry on as a booty call, that's one thing. But you don't need to put up with the drama queen crap. As you age you will become less indulgent of immature impulsive behavior. Might as well end this now before it gets harder to do in the future.

07-09-2003, 08:13 PM	#9 (permalink)
slunk007 Upright Location: Where am I?	I've gone thru the exact same thing. The more drama there is, the more you think it means something. But the truth of the matter is, it doesn't mean a whole lot of anything. I broke up with a girl like that. We still call each other on the phone occasionally (once every 4 months) and we are still friends. However, I can honestly say that I'm damn glad I got out of that vicious cycle. Break up to make up. Break up to make up. Not my kind of mantra. Be good about it. End it on good terms. Don't use people even if they use you. And DON'T LOOK BACK. My first ever post. My 2 cents.