Being in a slump! - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

floe206 · 07-13-2010, 09:36 PM

Yes, that's right..The dreaded slump. It happens to the best of us! I got out of a 3 year relationship about a year ago and since then it seems like my game is just rusty and not the same! Kind of messing with my head and need to break out of this slump I'm in! Any suggestions??

Shadowex3 · 07-14-2010, 12:36 AM

By game do you mean following NLP techniques to become a PUA or just generally not making an ass of yourself in front of the opposite sex?

floe206 · 07-14-2010, 06:07 PM

No, I don't even know what any of that is...Maybe its the girls being too cold in Seattle. I was in San Diego for a day a few months ago and the atmosphere was way different and I even got a little lucky. Even though I'm a good looking guy and get numbers here and there, there's never any follow up. Kind of messing with my head. Nobody else out there gets in slumps at all???

Shadowex3 · 07-14-2010, 06:25 PM

If you don't know what it is don't worry, it means you're a better human being.

Slump is pretty unhelpful, the phone number thing is better.. tell us about what you feel's going wrong vs how things used to work out for you. Maybe you'll even figure something out yourself.

floe206 · 07-14-2010, 06:56 PM

I think part of it has to do with me thinking too much about what to say, instead of just letting it flow. For instance I met this very attractive girl at a bar and we had a great conversation. I got her number and before I left kept saying how we should hang out sometime. She says, "you have my number, you know what to do." I call the next day no answer...Even leave a text and get no reply. Similar situations have happened like this before where I get the number and nothing happens after that.

Wes Mantooth · 07-14-2010, 09:07 PM

Sure we've all been in a slump before...meeting girls is kind of like fishing, no matter how good the bait sometimes they just aren't biting so you go home kill off a case of beer and fall asleep watching porn...or something. However like any good fisherman you don't just give up you go back out the next day or find a different spot and eventually you start reeling em in.

Meeting girls at a bar can be kind of iffy, in my experience you never really know what to expect the next day and sadly even getting a phone number isn't a golden ticket to the promised land. Maybe you were too interested, came on too strong and she didn't want to be rude so she handed you a fake number, it happens. Maybe she was drunk and didn't really remember, or had a case of the beer goggles. Once she got home and she slept it off she realized she didn't want to see the guy from the bar as much as she thought (its nothing personal just sometimes you change your tune the next day). You never really know, that's why I just let it go and move on, its not worth getting upset over.

I could sit her sit here and list off a hundred reasons why shit like that happens but never the less don't let it get you down. Rejection sucks but it happens and unless you're completely socially inept you shouldn't have a problem bringing and end to the slump. Perhaps work on your approach, what you talk about or change your look a little to spice things up. If your usual spots aren't working try something new...like, I don't know a night class, a club/group that suits your interests, join a gym or whatever. If you're just rusty with a little practice you should get yourself back in pick up shape in no time.

floe206 · 07-15-2010, 04:30 PM

Yea maybe a bar isn't the right place...It's just a lot easier to talk to girls at them because everyone is being more social..What are some other good spots to meet hot chics??

Wes Mantooth · 07-15-2010, 10:29 PM

Honestly I don't think I've ever met a proper gf at a bar, one night stands, flings? Sure but never a proper gf...I never really thought about until just now weird. I agree a bar is one of the easiest places to pick somebody up, its amazing how easy it is to get a convo going in a bar vs well anywhere else. Maybe all the alcohol and dim lighting, I don't know.

Anyway, I don't think there is any magical hot chick gettin place but you can probably help narrow the field by spending time in a place where others might share your interests. I always found the beach to be a good spot in the summer, parties/gatherings at a friends place provided they invite people you might not know, I find local festivals can be productive, libraries, parks. Really anywhere women might be isn't a bad spot.

As long as the presentation is good you should get something going with somebody.

raging moderate · 07-17-2010, 07:45 AM

Summer parties and gatherings, I'd echo that. Also i've met many cool people including beautiful, athletic women in rec sports clubs. most bigger cities have sports club organizations such as flag football or ultimate frisbee, and many of them are co-ed (most require a certain amount of females on the team). you can sign up solo and be placed on a team, and you'll have some fun and strike up a report in a very non-pressuring setting. I've also only very rarely had any luck at the bar, but at parties and through the stuff I just talked about, my success rate was exponentially higher.

Also, if you want to improve your chances, and you *must* go to a bar, bring a female friend as a wingman, just don't get too snuggly with her or you'll send the other girlies running. Or you can go there with her and end up starting something with her....

last but not least - do not act like a pussy-hound. If you come off as really desperate to get laid or whatever, you'll drive people away. Best to just relax, be your cool self and let the good times roll. We've all been there, even if people won't admit it and it does suck, but people can pick up on desperation and it sends them running.

a last thought- if you don't have any specific interests that you are somewhat knowledgeable about, come up with some. Give yourself a few conversation starters "on tap" about local happenings, a couple of good stories about something funny that happened to you, etc. plus be sure to focus the conversation on the other person whenever possible b/c people love to talk about themselves.

Plan9 · 07-17-2010, 07:49 AM

Online dating sites are awesome because you can multitask, the sterile environment is conducive honest conversation without posturing and it doesn't cost anything.

Magnolia · 08-15-2010, 07:18 PM

oh yeah Ive been in slumps. I just kept looking , well at times I took a break from dating, pumped up my self esteem, worked on improving myself inside and out ,
I found a guy online after meeting several guys in person and from online and it not working out, just gotta keep looking and dont waste time in the wrong relationship.
love yourself before expecting someone else to . positive thinking helps . best wishes.

07-13-2010, 09:36 PM	#1 (permalink)
floe206 Upright Location: seattle	Being in a slump! Yes, that's right..The dreaded slump. It happens to the best of us! I got out of a 3 year relationship about a year ago and since then it seems like my game is just rusty and not the same! Kind of messing with my head and need to break out of this slump I'm in! Any suggestions??

07-14-2010, 09:07 PM	#6 (permalink)
Wes Mantooth Junkie Location: Tennessee	Sure we've all been in a slump before...meeting girls is kind of like fishing, no matter how good the bait sometimes they just aren't biting so you go home kill off a case of beer and fall asleep watching porn...or something. However like any good fisherman you don't just give up you go back out the next day or find a different spot and eventually you start reeling em in. Meeting girls at a bar can be kind of iffy, in my experience you never really know what to expect the next day and sadly even getting a phone number isn't a golden ticket to the promised land. Maybe you were too interested, came on too strong and she didn't want to be rude so she handed you a fake number, it happens. Maybe she was drunk and didn't really remember, or had a case of the beer goggles. Once she got home and she slept it off she realized she didn't want to see the guy from the bar as much as she thought (its nothing personal just sometimes you change your tune the next day). You never really know, that's why I just let it go and move on, its not worth getting upset over. I could sit her sit here and list off a hundred reasons why shit like that happens but never the less don't let it get you down. Rejection sucks but it happens and unless you're completely socially inept you shouldn't have a problem bringing and end to the slump. Perhaps work on your approach, what you talk about or change your look a little to spice things up. If your usual spots aren't working try something new...like, I don't know a night class, a club/group that suits your interests, join a gym or whatever. If you're just rusty with a little practice you should get yourself back in pick up shape in no time. __________________ “My god I must have missed it...its hell down here!”

07-15-2010, 10:29 PM	#8 (permalink)
Wes Mantooth Junkie Location: Tennessee	Honestly I don't think I've ever met a proper gf at a bar, one night stands, flings? Sure but never a proper gf...I never really thought about until just now weird. I agree a bar is one of the easiest places to pick somebody up, its amazing how easy it is to get a convo going in a bar vs well anywhere else. Maybe all the alcohol and dim lighting, I don't know. Anyway, I don't think there is any magical hot chick gettin place but you can probably help narrow the field by spending time in a place where others might share your interests. I always found the beach to be a good spot in the summer, parties/gatherings at a friends place provided they invite people you might not know, I find local festivals can be productive, libraries, parks. Really anywhere women might be isn't a bad spot. As long as the presentation is good you should get something going with somebody. __________________ “My god I must have missed it...its hell down here!”

07-17-2010, 07:45 AM	#9 (permalink)
raging moderate Insane Location: Whatever house my keys can get me into	Summer parties and gatherings, I'd echo that. Also i've met many cool people including beautiful, athletic women in rec sports clubs. most bigger cities have sports club organizations such as flag football or ultimate frisbee, and many of them are co-ed (most require a certain amount of females on the team). you can sign up solo and be placed on a team, and you'll have some fun and strike up a report in a very non-pressuring setting. I've also only very rarely had any luck at the bar, but at parties and through the stuff I just talked about, my success rate was exponentially higher. Also, if you want to improve your chances, and you must go to a bar, bring a female friend as a wingman, just don't get too snuggly with her or you'll send the other girlies running. Or you can go there with her and end up starting something with her.... last but not least - do not act like a pussy-hound. If you come off as really desperate to get laid or whatever, you'll drive people away. Best to just relax, be your cool self and let the good times roll. We've all been there, even if people won't admit it and it does suck, but people can pick up on desperation and it sends them running. a last thought- if you don't have any specific interests that you are somewhat knowledgeable about, come up with some. Give yourself a few conversation starters "on tap" about local happenings, a couple of good stories about something funny that happened to you, etc. plus be sure to focus the conversation on the other person whenever possible b/c people love to talk about themselves. __________________ These are the good old days... formerly Murp0434

07-17-2010, 07:49 AM	#10 (permalink)
Plan9 I Confess a Shiver	Online dating sites are awesome because you can multitask, the sterile environment is conducive honest conversation without posturing and it doesn't cost anything. __________________ *Whatever you can carry.* "You should not drink... and bake."

07-14-2010, 06:07 PM	#3 (permalink)
floe206 Upright Location: seattle	No, I don't even know what any of that is...Maybe its the girls being too cold in Seattle. I was in San Diego for a day a few months ago and the atmosphere was way different and I even got a little lucky. Even though I'm a good looking guy and get numbers here and there, there's never any follow up. Kind of messing with my head. Nobody else out there gets in slumps at all???

07-14-2010, 06:56 PM	#5 (permalink)
floe206 Upright Location: seattle	I think part of it has to do with me thinking too much about what to say, instead of just letting it flow. For instance I met this very attractive girl at a bar and we had a great conversation. I got her number and before I left kept saying how we should hang out sometime. She says, "you have my number, you know what to do." I call the next day no answer...Even leave a text and get no reply. Similar situations have happened like this before where I get the number and nothing happens after that.

07-15-2010, 04:30 PM	#7 (permalink)
floe206 Upright Location: seattle	Yea maybe a bar isn't the right place...It's just a lot easier to talk to girls at them because everyone is being more social..What are some other good spots to meet hot chics??

08-15-2010, 07:18 PM	#11 (permalink)
Magnolia Upright	oh yeah Ive been in slumps. I just kept looking , well at times I took a break from dating, pumped up my self esteem, worked on improving myself inside and out , I found a guy online after meeting several guys in person and from online and it not working out, just gotta keep looking and dont waste time in the wrong relationship. love yourself before expecting someone else to . positive thinking helps . best wishes.