First Time to a Swinger Club
 

My boyfriend is taking me to a Swinger club this weekend and it will be my first time to one. I'm not a swinger, and though I admit curiosity about the lifestyle I've never participated in it. My boyfriend was a swinger with his ex for 10 years and I asked him to introduce me to it so he suggested trying a club for my first time.

Anyone been to one of these places? Do you know what I can expect?

Thanks all!

Closest I've ever been to one was PTs in Centerville IL. A strip club that hosts swinger parties on the weekends. I could only watch from outside the swinger's area.

Will be looking forward to your report, if you'd like to share afterwards.

Have fun!

Well, we ended up postponing the visit to the club and went on a very enjoyable date instead. However, we are still planning on visiting the club in the future so I'm still open to information about what to expect. What should I wear? Are there unwritten 'rules'? My boyfriend has told me some about it but I'd especially love to especially hear from some women about their experiences. I'm straight, btw.

Aside from "No means no" most things aren't universal, although keeping a clear head and having proper hygiene/protection will probably be respected anywhere*.


*Idiot Exception applies, as always.

Toronto has about 4 or 5 swinger's clubs. (On premise Swinger's clubs are legal in Toronto.)

I've been to two with my GF, and we go maybe once every 6 weeks or so. There is Club Wicked and Club M4 that I've been to. Both are on-premise swing clubs, which essentially means that you have sex in the club. Both are set up the same in that there's a bar area and a back room (where the sex occurs). The action doesn't really start to midnight at both places I've been to.

I tend to go to M4 more than Wicked because I'm in my mid 40's and Wicked is a bit of a younger crowd (late 20's, 30's, and 40's) whereas M4 is more of a middle age crowd. M4 I also find more sexual and more inclusive.

I've always had a good time, and I enjoy going.

This is something that I've engaged in for about 1.5 years now with my current GF (only). It's not something I did before I met her, but I had had several 3 somes and went to one gang bang once.

I must admit that I would have a very hard time giving it up - at least at the current time because I do find it quite interesting and thrilling.

Some insight.....

1. There are change rooms in the back rooms where everyone gets undressed. It was totally sureal the first time getting undressed in front of a group of men and women.

2. Clothes may not be worn in the back room.

3. You can do as much or as little as you like in the backroom.

4. Both places are set up similiar in that there are several areas (I call them corals) where people have sex.

5. It is thrilling to watch other people have sex.

6. There can be some very unattractive people there.

7. There can be some very attractive people there.

8. Some people can get a little pushy, but it is rare.

9. I'm surprised at how many men have small penises.

10. Sometimes your parther clicks with someone but you don't click with that person's partner. My GF very much likes having sex with this one guy (call him D), however, I don't click with his wife at all (call her L). I find her distant, controlling and a dead lay frankly. But I take one for the team for my GF because she enjoys fucking D. Conversely, I met this female professor from the University of Toronto (seriously) who I LOVE having sex with, however, her partner has a very small and limp penis. (Though apparently he's quite gifted orally according to my GF.) So my GF takes one for the team in that instance. She is more particular than a lot of women though, and sometimes she can tell that I am interested in a woman but she will put the brakes on because she is REALLY not interested in the male. I have to respect her decision.

11. There have been occasions where I have only had sex with my GF. There have been occasions where I have had sex with 2 other women besides her and she's had sex with 2 other men.

12. I enjoy seeing her with other men, and I encourage her to do so, but once I cum, my desires tend to shut down, or at least decrease drastically. Sad but true. So I usually try to hold off as long as I can.

13 There is Female Female interaction on any night, but male male interaction is confined to wednesdays and Sundsays (at M4 at least).

14. I have only ever been on Saturday nights which is for couples only.

15. I would go every 2 to 3 weeks, but my GF puts the brakes on - prefering it to be a special thing. She's probably right.

16. We've only met 2 couples in the front room that we ended up hooking up with in the backroom. For us, most of the meeting and hooking up goes on in the back room whilst we are havining sex together. A couple comes in, lays down beside you on the matresses and first thing you know, you feel a hand sliding up your thigh.

17. Only 2 of my friends know that I go to Swingers clubs. (One male friend, one female friend) Interesting, both would like to try it out, but both are married. The male friend wants to go with a female hook up rather than his wife because he's the kind of guy who likes his wife to keep a dime between her knees at all times. My female friend wants to go, but she feels that her hubby would not be interested - even be put off by it, so she willl not raise the issue with him.

Relax, enjoy yourself and know that you don't have to do anything you don't want to. We are "relative newbies" to the scene and have discovered that there are some incredibly nice people in most clubs and many of them are now our friends...not all nor even the majority became playmates!

One last piece of advice...don't enter into anything unless it because YOU want to!!!

Great info! I got involved with the man I'm seeing now knowing that he was into the lifestyle with his ex and I asked him to take me, so it's definitely not something anyone is asking me to do that I don't want to. I'm quite adventuress and this is just something I've never done. I appreciate everyone's insight into this - I'd like to hear some female viewpoints as well.

James_t_Kirk - what a thorough response posting... you rock!

i was thinking about visiting wicked club but this is the first time i heard about M4

have you heard how people at M4 treat singles?

The little woman and I were at M4 once for Singles Fridays (they allow single males). I doubt that we will repeat.

I think they treat single males just fine....There are rules, there are couples only areas, there is a guy working there to ensure that the single males don't get out of control.

BUT,

The odds are stacked against you if you are a single male.

There are enough couples to be sure, but the single guys are a dime a dozen. The second there is any sexual activity between a male / female couple, the single males sort of drift over like sea gulls in a parking lot at McDonalds.

First one, then 3, then 10. All jerking their (small) cocks, all trying to get in on the action. As a result - NOTHING happens because you become overwhelmed and naturally defensive and end up moving away. I only saw one woman playing with 7 or 8 men. The rest of the male female couples appeared to be sticking to themselves and politely declining the single male advances (for fear of starting a feeding frenzie.) My female friend was giving me head on a couch in the back bar and first thing you know, 5 guys are standing there jerking their cocks in silence, hoping to get in on it.

The fantasy of taking on multipile men may be exciting, but the reality is not. The reality is overwhelming and again, every man (other than 1 guy) was remarkably under endowed.

My best advice to the single male would be to be very clean, over dress, arrive early, and try to garner an invitation from a couple in the front room. Going to the backroom and figuring that you're going to get lucky did not seem to be working too well for the guys I saw. (Other than the one woman who was quite happy taking on a large group of jerking males.)

I much prefer the couples Saturdays because you never feel like prey. It's highly more sexual and much more relaxed.

My very serious advice would be to find a woman to go with you on couples only nights and forget the idea of being a single male at a Swinger's club.

Last word of advice, if you are not 35 and up, don't go to M4. It's an older crowd. Stick to Wicked.

what's wrong with guys attending there that aren't "well endowed"? haha is it a requirement or something?

No, you're right. Nothing is wrong.

It's just that when my GF and I go, she's not really interested in a below average man. She's interested in living out a sexual fantasy or two, not finding another boyfriend.

I'm sure that if she was interested in a Boyfriend, a small cock would not be a deal breaker, but since she's interested in living out one or two of those deep dark female sexual fantasies (the kind that usually take about 3 or 4 glasses of red wine to come out)- well, I hate to say it, but she's not interested in a man with a 3" cock, regardless of how nice of a guy he is.

So yeah, she notices cock size.

I suppose if we were to meet another couple in the front room and really hit it off and then end up in the back room together, and the guy ended up with a 2" cock, she'd be disappointed, but she would not derail the festivities. (I'm sure of this.) But once in the backroom, the prerequisites for her change from those in the front room.

oh you mean in that extreme ok i understand now

i thought you were commenting that they didn't have porno sized 8"er so i was wondering what was wrong with the average size man lol

You mean 8"er isn't average? :D

Well you, Mr. James T Kirk, are apparently an expert. So I ask you this : how did you broach this subject with your GF the first time? What was her reaction? Have you asked about it before with negative reaction?

PTs! Good ol East Saint Louis. A gal I was dating almost took my there. I think everyone goes on the dance floor and have a free for all.

hey TheDragonLady, any experience to share - how did it go???