healer

I am a fairly healthy, soon-to-be 28 year old male, suffering from Phimosis. Nothing too severe, but my foreskin doesn't retract all the way when my penis is erect. This causes occasional tearing and irritation of the foreskin, especially as a result of sex.

My urologist suggested a topical ointment, which I've tried for the last 2 weeks with less than stellar results. It has definitely restored some of the elasticity of the skin which was lost by the constant scarring and healing, but hasn't lived up to my (possibly too high) expectations.

The doc suggested that if I don't see pleasing results within a few weeks, I should come back to him. He is recommending circumcision. To say I'm unsure about the whole thing is an understatement.

On the one hand, I could be rid of all my problems fairly easily. A little bit easier to keep clean. Xhosa men will consider me their equal.

On the other, I might not like my new dick. I'm concerned about things like sensitivity, feel...how it'll look. What if it doesn't pee straight??

Are there any guys who have made the transition? Was your dick the same after they undressed it? What would you do?

__________________

Daniel_

I feel your pain and fear, friend.

I have no idea how I'd jump in your place, but I know I'd want to have looked into every option in detail before anyone cut anything off that couldn't grow back on its own. Fuck, I have enough fear changing my haircut!

Is there no option for some sort of half way house? Just letting the collar out a bit?

__________________

╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

Xerxys

Cut. I said this once I'll say this a million times, just like your hair, you can get rid of it if you don't want to deal with it. I don't understand many people. I have acne on my face and I know an ointment like neutrogena or clearasil will get rid of it but I just can't commit to that hassle of every morning and night. Brushing my teeth is already a chore enough why would I want to add something like that? Same for people with phimosis. It can't be cured, it's just too tight skin and will not expand further than it already has so why stay with it? It's not like it contributes to the sexual sensations involved anyway.

Just find a GOOD surgeon to do it and you will heal in 2 weeks. Anything past that is a botched job. You will loose the feeling of satisfying an itch on the tip. Other than that EVERYTHING else will be normal.

P.S. You will have to learn how to pee again though ... hehehehe

dlish

dude, just realise that if you do decide to go and get this procedure done that its not a new dick. It's yours, as it always was. Just modified. Just like a haircut.

__________________
An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

Salem

I say exhaust all your options before you cut. Like Daniel said, check for a half-way point. just a small cut, pop the collar, instead of taking the whole shirt off. Give the ointment a good shot, maybe see if there's anything else possible, then go for the clip. All your concerns are valid, especially since you've grown up with the skin, tight or not, it's been there. Feeling is especially a big factor, then again if you've got issues maybe having no fore skin will make things easier and and better. Who knows. In the end it IS your penis, and totally your choice. I just think that before you chop off a body part you should check if there's any other options.

And like Dlish said, it's still your penis, he's just gotten a little plastic surgery is all.

Punk.of.Ages

I can't really compare non-cut to cut, as the only day I was able to spend with my foreskin was pretty hectic and we didn't really get a chance to know each other, but, in my opinion, if your foreskin is causing problems and the only way to get rid of those problems is to cut it off, then get rid of it.

I see it this way: You don't keep your appendix or tonsils after they start causing problems, and you're certainly not a different person after they're gone...

Of course, on the other hand, I don't share the same relationship with my appendix or tonsils as I do with my penis.

Like Daniel said, make sure you check all your options, but, if it's the only solution, I say cut it.

__________________
"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager

"Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike

blktour

Well I would love to know if you decide to cut or not as an adult. I have the extra skin and cant imagine myself without it. but if it hindered my life in some sort of way, i figured skin is less of a percentage of no skin that they all cant be wrong. I doubt it will "mess up " your life, it may even enhance it?

I say whatever you decide, we all want to know your outcome and let us know how you got there.

do it? let us know, how it feels, do you regret it? feels different?

didnt? do you regret it? how did you manage?

Shadowex3

Speaking as a jew I admit I'm biased but: Go half-way. Aside from price it's a strictly-better option as any problems that choice causes will be removed with the whole thing if you have to go that route.

As for how it works out... circumcision is nearly universal in the US and most people have sex just fine, and I even know a few people that have done it as an adult (due to your same issue usually) and they had no complaints.

Personally? I'm guessing mine got botched but hey there's a difference between a Mohel and a Surgeon. Just don't let them do it by the crush-and-rip method, there's a lot more finesse with a scalpel.

__________________

DaveOrion

Cut - You'll be much happier after it heals. I know its your wee wee and all but man up, take a deep breath and take the plunge.

---------- Post added at 08:29 AM ---------- Previous post was at 08:17 AM ----------

Women seem to prefer the look of circumsized men - http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/ladies-...ttractive.html

It may be more sensitive since the skin will no longer be covering the head on the out stroke.

You will never pee straight again.

__________________
Syriana...have you ever tried liquid MDMA?....Liquid MDMA? No....Arash, when you wanna do this?.....After prayer...

Salem

You know, I had no idea men didn't pee straight. I guess I figured it was just one of those things that differed from man to man. I mean, I don't have a penis and I don't pee entierly straight. But that's just a fact of nature.

Oh the things you learn at TFP.

Craven Morehead

We don't need to pee straight, we can aim it.

Salem

Ohh yeah, Exactly! haha

hunnychile

Oh dear healer, don't be afraid. Really. A cut penis is a beautiful clean yummy penis and all the ladies I know, me included, really DO prefer that cut and clean look.

There are so many pluses that I won't bother to start the list of positives.

__________________
"I need compassion, understanding and chocolate." - NJB

Punk.of.Ages

I wasn't aware I don't pee straight either...

I aim straight and hit the toilet water, but perhaps my perspective on "straight" is altered because my penis has been the same for as long as I can remember.

I'll have to pay more attention next time I take a leak...

__________________
"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager

"Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike

DaveOrion

Ha Ha, too funny! Yes, we can aim em.

__________________
Syriana...have you ever tried liquid MDMA?....Liquid MDMA? No....Arash, when you wanna do this?.....After prayer...

Shadowex3

The problem isn't going straight, since as has been pointed out we can aim, it's about the f#@%ing stream splitting or coming out at an unusual angle. When you try to pee first thing in the morning and you get 2 streams going to the side and a third spraying straight up there's going to be SOME cleanup involved even if you catch it and straighten things out right away.

__________________

DaveOrion

This is true, I've had this discussion once but the guy wasnt clear. He kept saying "you never pissed twice?" pissed twice?, how can you piss twice? Piss then piss again? After several minutes it was finally made clear.

That can happen but being circumsized or not has no bearing on it as far as I know.

__________________
Syriana...have you ever tried liquid MDMA?....Liquid MDMA? No....Arash, when you wanna do this?.....After prayer...

inBOIL

There's got to be some kind of gentle stretching regimen that will loosen things up just enough. If this guy:

can stretch his lip that much, you should be able to get a few extra millimeters out of your foreskin.

__________________
And you believe Bush and the liberals and divorced parents and gays and blacks and the Christian right and fossil fuels and Xbox are all to blame, meanwhile you yourselves create an ad where your kid hits you in the head with a baseball and you don't understand the message that the problem is you.

Cimarron29414

Got cut on day two. I piss in a single, perfectly straight stream. I have my entire life. So, I don't have a clue what you guys are talking about. The only time I had a split stream was passing a kidney stone.

Dude, cut it. I could not imagine dealing with what you are dealing with. There's nothing better than a no maintenance pecker.

__________________
Gives a man a halo, does mead.

"Here lies The_Jazz: Killed by an ambitious, sparkly, pink butterfly."

Starkizzer

Keep trying the track you are on, talk to doc about other options, and most importantly talk to Mandy and make sure you two are on the same page. I'm sure she will want you to do what keeps you happy and healthy and gets you back in the sack quickly.

For the record, some of us ladies do prefer uncut, I like the way it looks uncut. Plus it is like a present that slowly unwraps itself before my wondering and lustful eyes...

__________________
Frivolity, at the edge of a Moral Swamp, hears Hymn-Singing in the Distance and dons the Galoshes of Remorse. ~Edward Gorey

Aladdin Sane

Cut that shit off, dude. Mine's cut and it works like a charm.

__________________
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

Vaultboy

No one mentioned it, but Healer may also be concerned because there is risk in every surgery, no matter how minor.

__________________
"Failing tastes of bile and dog vomit. Pity any man that gets used to that taste."

Aladdin Sane

Yeah dude I know a guy who came in for a circumcision and went home with a vagina.

__________________
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

curiousbear

+1
I get a feeling that you dont want to loose the foreskin. But you want to solve the issue. Please check for a half-way clearing.

Personally I like my foreskin. It covers my head and gives a wonderful effect when I masturbate. I also believe it helps to retain the sensitivity of the glans. But it is just me.

---------- Post added at 08:47 AM ---------- Previous post was at 08:44 AM ----------

lol! It varies person to person
When my foreskin is pulled back I pee two streams so I dont pull back and I take extra care in cleaning

I learnt a lot at Tfp

---------- Post added at 08:52 AM ---------- Previous post was at 08:47 AM ----------

same with me
but depends the pressure and force I apply
I should agree that it is more fun if peeing in open

Vaultboy

Such a clever comment. So clever, in fact, that you both missed and confirmed the point of my post. For clever people like you, an instruction is clearly required: Google "botched circumcision", please.

__________________
"Failing tastes of bile and dog vomit. Pity any man that gets used to that taste."

Idyllic

It sounds like you have a hard problem to solve, stuck like this, I'm sure your tired of the hooded remarks. It makes me think of episiotomies, "to rip or to cut" repeat as delivered. So right now you are basically ripping the skin when you have sex, this creates all kinds of possible issues, including increased risk of serious long term problems not to mention the increased risks that occur when the protective skin is opened, even a little.

The odds of a mistake in this corrective surgery are slim, especially if you take the time to insure you have a good Dr. who has done this before with lots, lots, of positive outcomes. And make sure you have your advocate with you in the hospital, always.

After 28 years of dealing with this issue, o.k. 10 or so, I would be ready to try a new way of enjoying my life. This procedure done right takes less that 30 minutes and after 4 to 6 weeks is over, or you can continue the rest of your life in this same sticky situation. I say go get unstuck, worry once now, or worry every time you have sex later.

All surgery is scary, all surgery has risks, does the risk out weight the return? I think in this situation, the risk is so minimal compared to the reward of pain free sex for the rest of your life (so speaking) I would scarcely hesitate, but then after the surgeries I've had, and the risks that have occurred I understand you fear. I would still have my surgeries done as the prior was far worse than the later, even with the mistakes. And I still have more to go, with a risk just as high or higher.

It really comes down to, are you done living with this pain to the point that you are ready to take a risk to try something different, something that 90% of the time will not just improve your sex life, but improve your life all together, when you get there, you will be ready. It sounds like your getting close. It will be o.k. (the repair), it will be better (the sex), keep telling yourself this, a positive attitude always helps, even when your faking.

Look to that moment 3 months from now when your resting in that after glow of amazing sex and wondering why you waited so long.

Best wishes to you Healer, I know how scary this must be, it will be o.k., no, no, IT WILL BE BETTER!!!!!! Positive attitude, It WILL be better.

p.s. once again, question your Dr., dot your 'i's" and cross your "t's", make sure you "know" who is doing this and that they have done this before, A LOT, now is not the time for a newby. Do everything you can to relieve all the worry you possibly can, then take a xanax and just get it done.

__________________
you can tell them all you want but it won't matter until they think it does

p.s. I contradict my contradictions, with or without intention, sometimes.

healer

Thanks for all the advice, folks.

I've decided to give it some more thought and time. I haven't been applying the ointment as regularly as I should have been of late, so I don't want to write it off before allowing it to run its course. I've also started a stretching regimen in conjunction with the ointment to see if there is an improvement in elasticity.

mandy and I have had lengthy chats about the subject, and we both agree that we need to do what's best for both of us. She's agreed to start waxing regularly to minimise any irritation the hair might be causing during intercourse.

If I do decide to go under the knife, you can be sure I'll be making 100% sure of the entire procedure. Port Elizabeth's a fairly small town, with a limited number of doctors who will be willing to indulge my wanting to 'pop the collar' on my penis. Most of them, even the one I went to see initially, will try and force you down the complete circumcision route just because it's simpler (for them).

On a related note, the wife and I went away for the weekend (something of a mini-honeymoon we never had) where several bouts of vigorous sex ensued, with little to no damage to my equipment. There was a little irritation due to the hair thing mentioned earlier, but hopefully that won't be a problem in future. Who knows...maybe I can get out of this one intact.

__________________

Aladdin Sane

Lighten up, dude.

__________________
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

Idyllic

o.k. I need to ask this, for myself, how does your wife's pubic hair cause you problems, it's not like she has hair growing "in" her vagina, and the rest touches the base of your dick not your head and even then your head is covered by your hood. I don't understand this, I am trying to understand how she will have to have hot wax put on her most private parts and the hairs ripped out, sometimes with skin, every 3 to 4 weeks by some other person to insure you are not injured by her soft hair. Can you please help me understand because all I hear now is a way to get your wife to go bald all the time, which I personally find sad and another thing young girls feel they must do to compete for male attention, not to mention, it makes me think of prepubescent girls.

I am interested in understanding this new "craze" but I just don't see how this makes sense in your account, did the Dr. say your wife being waxed all the time would make your problem less painful, if this is true, why?

__________________
you can tell them all you want but it won't matter until they think it does

p.s. I contradict my contradictions, with or without intention, sometimes.

guttercup

just gonna say, (i'm sure I'm late on this) I like the non chopped guys... they're more into their man parts...

__________________
a sweet young thing alone and headless on a strange and diabolical planet

Punk.of.Ages

Actually, it is completely understandable that the hair can cause irritation to a penis that is already susceptible to irritation...

I don't know how you sex, but, when I put my dick into a woman, I tend to enjoy pulling it out and putting it back in repeatedly and fairly vigorously at times. On the said pull out part of this act, the head of my penis definitely comes into contact with some hair if it's there.

Now, I don't mind pubic hair on my women, but I can certainly see where I might if I had Healer's problem...

As far as the whole waxing issue you seem to have, in getting to know Healer and Mandy over the years, I'd wager that Healer didn't insist she wax. Mandy probably offered it up in order to help him and make sure her body is as comfortable for him as possible.

I just couldn't see Healer saying, "I don't care how much pain is involved for you, this is my dick we're talking about, here! You'd better wax that shit, woman!"

__________________
"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager

"Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike

Idyllic

No, no, I didn't say he demanded anything, and I'm sure he would not pull his dick out to intentionally rub it on her hair because he already knows this is a problem, right, not to mention when the hair does grow back the shortness of it will be even more irritating. I just finished reading the entire "do you find vaginas attractive" so I get some of what the seemingly younger generation are saying, however it comes across as: if you want a man to eat, your plate better be clean, to most posters who wanted bald, those two thoughts went together, like to eat.... it clean...... again we must please the man if we want the man to please us, no matter how you look at it, this IS what it boils down to, and to all you women who nay say and try to convince me you are doing it for yourselves, bs!!! been there.

It is all for you guys, all the pain, all the money, all the time just so we can feel you really do want to be down there, just to make us more appealing for you. I make these statements based on what I read, I looked for these comments yes, but I also noticed that most, truly most, just preferred it well maintained in general, not bald, however those men appeared to be older. I've never been so happy in my life to be an older woman, thank you to all those muff divers who don't mind a little fur on their pussy's, God Bless you, you really do make women happy!!!!

I really do feel for the younger girls who insist that they really do enjoy the recurring pain and humiliation involved in taking your panties off in front of yet another stranger as you spread your legs and let someone put hot wax on you and then rip all your hair out, yes, tell me this is for you…… not.

This written by a 16 year old, who believes she may have to shave to have sex, wtf???

Still, what I am looking for is an actual Dr. who says that a woman waxing is more beneficial, ie. money, time, pain, exposure, risk of injury, etc. for her foreseeable lifetime, to assist in preventing the issues that arise from Phimosis, which could be fixed and over in a months time. She gets a lifetime of waxing so he can get a lifetime of less tearing, of which he may tear anyway from the action alone, it seems a double jeopardy to me, that’s all.

---------- Post added at 09:11 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:03 PM ----------

p.s, Healer, this is nothing personal, not an attack of any kind, I really am interested in the medical aspects of this issue, specifically how the hair directly relates to the phimosis. I mean no disrespect. Nor am I in any way suggesting circumcision on an adult male just because, however your case is unique at this moment as a med condition and my curiosity is peeked.

__________________
you can tell them all you want but it won't matter until they think it does

p.s. I contradict my contradictions, with or without intention, sometimes.

spindles

If I had a foreskin, I'd be trying to keep it. Surgery seems like a last resort.

__________________
who hid my keyboard's PANIC button?

Cynthetiq

cut it AND keep it!

Houston: An Intimate Portrait | The New York Observer

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

Shadowex3

Idyllic I get what you're trying to say here but honestly you're coming across as ranting and desperately seeking a way to find demeaningment (help? word?!) where it's not just so you can prove The Man is oppressing "womyn".

My ex shaved and wanted to move to waxing because she despised the feeling of hair down there, even though I personally PREFER a landing strip at minimum.

__________________

healer

Basically, what he said.

Idyllic, I get the point you're trying to make, even though you're not bringing it across in the best way possible. Maybe you are, in fact, trying to find 'demeaningment'. (I have no idea what you're even trying to say with this word, Shadowex3 )This is not some underhanded attempt to get my wife to bend to my will, nor is it another example of what you seem to think society telling us what should be and what shouldn't. The only preference I have when it comes to vaginae is that they be neat and clean.

The fact of the matter is that the hair was and is causing me irritation. I discussed it with my wife and she agreed to get waxed because she gets terrible razor burn and ingrown hairs from shaving. Simple as that.

That's just nasty, dude. I'd love to see mandy explain that one to her mother.

__________________

Xazy

If you are Jewish, cut it.

Idyllic

What I was looking to hear is that a real medical Doctor had actually made a suggestion for denuding as a medical way to reduce the issues of phimosis, of which you did not say. I can definitely see where razor stubble would cause any man to possibly have an irritated dick (private area, and face as well), but if she just didn't shave at all (except trimming and grooming) and allowed just enough growth to keep the hair short and kept it softened with a good conditioner and was clean before sex, then it's not so much the hair as it is the stubble. That was my point.

You talked of phimosis (a real physical issue) and the pain and discomfort with it and in the end you determined that keeping a better regiment with the steroid rub and stretching would deserve a greater devotion before deciding to get cut, totally understandable, but adding that your wife agreed to wax bald always was a bit indulgent in my opinion, that's all, and I was wondering if you had professional input stating the waxing would make a difference, other than the obvious for all men who are sensitive to razor stubble. As I said before, I meant no offense. Still, it doesn't sound as though it is medically necessary to wax in order to reduce the issue of phimosis, correct?

This is something you are trying on your own, o.k., please be careful to not make it seem that a lifetime of waxing has a medical note unless it really does, younger people who read this can, and will, use that excuse to serve their own purpose (Dr's say if you wax it will help me feel better kinda thing....) and young vulnerable women will believe there really is a reason to wax other than personal choice. If your Dr does say waxing will make a difference worth the risk to the waxed, please update me, as I would be interested to know. Thank you.

__________________
you can tell them all you want but it won't matter until they think it does

p.s. I contradict my contradictions, with or without intention, sometimes.

JStrider

you could ask your doc about preputioplasty... seems like a surgical solution that wouldnt be an actualy circumcision.

**NSFW**Preputioplasty - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

__________________
-=JStrider=-

~Clatto Verata Nicto

hermpes

I urge extreme caution. I did not have the same issue you have, but I must weigh in. I was circumcised when I was eight years old. Nobody had told me how to wash down there. My father was cut so the issue never occurred to him. I had constant infections and rather than teach me how to wash my cock, the doctor pushed circumcision.

I can honestly say that the experience was the only one to truly traumatize me. Unfortunately it is one of my most vivid childhood memories. It hurts to think about it. I can still remember the mango flavor gas right before they put me under.

Anyway, if your problem is fixable any other way do that.

__________________
"Well dip me in honey and throw me to the lesbians!"