From Porn to Norm
 

I've been giving this some thought lately. I thought I'd start a thread to get input from my wise TFP friends.

As the title of the thread suggests, I have noticed that a number of sexual practices have migrated from the realm of pornography to become a much more mainstream part of our sexual lives. This is not to suggest that previous generations of people haven't been, shall we say, exotic in there sexual exploits. But it is my sense that sexual liberation continues to march on. And that porn tends to bring to bear some influence on how quickly it marches and on how we regard our own sexuality.

For the purposes of this conversation, I'd like to start with a couple of topics.

1. What are some now relatively common practices that you feel have been urged along by porn?

• Pubic Shaving - first just for the ladies, more recently for the men as well.
  
• Threesomes/Moresomes - group sex is no longer considered such a taboo.
  
• Girl-Girl - it is now pretty socially acceptable to women to classify themselves as 'bi' or 'bi-curious'. Girls make out in clubs pretty readily, etc.
  
• Plastic Surgery - boob jobs have become more commonplace (hate this myself) and now there are more places offering cosmetic vaginoplasty (hate this as well, but I think it fits with this topic).
  
• 'Public' porn - Japanese businessmen aside, more people are more comfortable watching porn as a group. It isn't too uncommon to see porn on the tv or computer at a party. Even if it is just for laughs.

2. What do you feel is an upcoming trend in sexuality that may stem from porn?

As more women have a controlling interest in the porn industry, I think there may be a shift in what kind of things are depicted in porn. I can imagine that an idea stems from someone's personal fantasy, to being put in a porn that, in turn, influences societal norms about what is acceptable sexual practice.

As an example, I have heard some women suggest that they fantasize about male-male sexual contact the same way that men fantasize about 2 women. If more women are in charge of making the porn, are we likely to see an increase in this bisexual fantasy being carried out on screen. Then at some point down the line, are more men likely to find it socially acceptable to label themselves as 'bi' or 'bi-curious'?

3. To what extent to you think that porn has influenced your personal sexual preferences and practices? For better or for worse?

For me, I have a pretty positive view of porn. I recognize its place as visual stimulation and fantasy. I have pretty liberal views about sexuality in general, but it is difficult to say whether this comes from watching particular things in porn. I have participated in a threesome before. I'd consider doing it again if the opportunity was right.

I'll look forward to hearing more input from the group on this topic.

I also recognize that this discussion can quickly become circular. If more people are doing something in porn, then more people are doing it in real life, so more porn will be made about it. It deteriorates into a 'which came first' argument.

The only contribution I have is the general tone of porn changing. What used to be "fun sex" is now angry sex. What used to be women enjoying themselves is now this angry look. Porn is going Howard Stern - all for the shock value. See how many of these I can put in that.

Go back to early 90's porn. It is so much better than today's stuff. The girls are better looking, actually seem to enjoy it, and they are more "girl next door".

I suspect that these trends don't extend as far as you might think because sex is still largely a private matter in the US and just because there's a larger, broader spectrum of it on the internet, it doesn't necessarily seep into the masses. There are a lot of taboo barriers against recreational sex in morally conservative america.

Of course, I'm just talking out of my non-bleached ass.

Regarding your second point, I think the amateur tube-style sites on the internet are the real influencers here rather than the formal industry which is stuck on Cimarron's path.

As to your third point, I think it has imparted the idea that everyone is sexually hungry and adventurous and just a couple of drinks away from an orgy. This is NOT true. Rationally I know this but it's such an attractive idea that it's hard to fight on a subconcious level.

The next time you're at a party (that isn't amongst your internet savvy friends) try bringing up your porn preferences in conversation and see how it goes.

I think the amateur porn will progress much more in the next few years compared with the low budget stuff. Cameras are getting better and cheaper, and we have seen how many girls have used camera phones to take pictures of themselves in bathroom mirrors...

I go with the assumption that everything I see in professional porn is all wrong.

Amateur porn however usually involves real people performing real sex acts, albeit some of them a bit on the extreme. The presence of the camera however can occasionally tone the couple's normal reactions down a notch or two. Still, it's a lot more realistic than pro porn which, as has already been mentioned, has evolved into an angry activity that's simply not realistic anymore.

I can't even watch 'professional' porn anymore, it's so fucking terrible.

I definitely agree that porn has a fairly strong, if slow, influence on the sexual preferences of society.

One of the big fads seems to have been left out:

It seems like anal sex has become (if not "socially acceptable") far more common due to the porn push for extremes. Hell, I'm waiting for Armpit Angels to come out.Seems like everybody is plumbing everything these days... and not just on TeeVee. Based on the preferences of the partners I've been with over the last few years, it seems the "Alternative Love Canal" (TM) (as my sidekick Sgt. Dubois would call it) is all the rage these days.

Is double anal normal yet?

I hope so. Because if it is, it will be so much easier to sell a "solo flight."

Always thinking. That's what I like about you. A man with a vision.

cumming on tits/in mouth/etc
anal

I don't think porn has had much of an impact on what people do.

First, because I think people both underestimate people's sex lives in the past, and overestimate people's sex lives now.

Second, couples and women who seek out porn are already generally on the more adventurous side anyways, so they likely would have experimented these new areas on their own.

The area I do think porn has had an impact is on how people look. Anal, oral, threesomes, etc. are all old as time, so people don't need to see it to figure out how to do it. But most people, even the adventurous ones, only see a small number of genitalia in person throughout their lives. Porn helps spread the "grooming" styles of the day.

Watch this 4 minute talk which explains the question of this thread to a T.

TED Blog: Cindy Gallop: Make love, not porn

Also visit her website which shows side by side anecdotal comparisons of Porn Vs Real Life.
Make Love Not Porn :: Porn World vs. Real World

I agree with your #1, absolutly. So many practices have become a normal everyday thing due to porn. I also think that porn could definitely change a whollleeee lot if women get the reins. I'm not sure how, but I see it changing. Not that women will ever have full control of the pron industry, hell no, but if they get more input, as you say they are starting to, then for sure there's going to be some changes. As for me personally, I've definitely been influenced by porn. Porn is where I learned what being a lesbain meant, watching SexTv in my room at night when I was like.. 12 taught me a looottt about my sexuality, and the way my sexuality would develop. There are a ton of things I've changed becuase of porn, whether physically or mentally.

I shave, I've shaved since.. I can remember. Certain practices and techniques I learned directly from porn. Pretty sure I once watched an actual How-To-Eat-Pussy-Lesbian-Style video. I'm all for porn. I don't understand porn-haters, I mean, I do understand where they are coming from, that they have strong morals and all that crap but.. lets face it, porn's never going anywhere, it's too educational, and masterbation is to awesome. Unless the entire world goes amish, porn's sticking around.

I agree with this wholeheartedly, except for the last sentence. I've written on many internet forums about the male performers, asking, "Why all the anger? You're getting paid to have sex with beautiful women, yet there seems to be so many control and anger issues - the gagging, choking, slapping, etc. When did sex become not about both people enjoying themselves? Why the humiliation and anger?"

As for the girls being better looking a decade ago - I'm not so sure. Perhaps American girls are getting to be too much the fake-boob blond caricature (except for some beautiful natural-looking exceptions like Tori Black), but the European girls are getting absolutely gorgeous nowadays. Of course, my beef with the European porn industry is that they don't seem capable of making a scene any more without anal - it's way overdone there.

My biggest concern is that there is now an internet-saturated generation growing up getting a majority of their "sex education" from porn. I worry how that will affect some women's ideas about their sexuality and their role in relationships. I mean, if you think it's normal to let some dude write "cunt" on your forehead with a Sharpie, then let him and his buddies fuck your throat till you puke, you're gonna grow up with some serious issues.

Hopefully everyone still knows the difference between reality and the fantasy (perverted as it may have become) of porn.

EDIT: After re-reading Salem's post above, I didn't mean to come off as a porn-hater. Quite the opposite - I like porn. A lot. I'm just very discriminating in what I download and watch. With the ubiquity of internet porn now, one can afford to be picky.