Bring a Condom?
 

It is pretty normal for me to over think things. I consider myself intelligent, although not necessary a fast thinker. Therefore, I tend to like to be over-prepared for whatever comes my way. This topic will serve as a good idea as to the kind of things I over think about all the time, in an effort to be fully prepared for when it comes. I am posting anon, being I feel uncomfortable discussing such things with, anybody.

So, lets say you have hit it off well with this girl. She wants to hang out again and you get the vibe that there may be more in store this time around. Would you bring a condom? After all, if you were to get so lucky, the last thing you or she needs is a kid as well as not liking the idea of having protected sex.

However, the other side of me wonders what she might be thinking in this situation. Does she wonder why I am bringing a condom, as if I knew things were going down? Maybe I can pretend or maybe she assumes that I always carry a condom around "just in case." I also don't like this idea, because I am a virgin, and I don't really want her to get the idea that I always carry a condom because I am ready and willing to use it with whoever/whenever. Sounds strange, I know, but that is just the kind of person I am.

I can already imagine some of the responses and I appreciate all who reply. However, I am looking for honest input on what girls are thinking in a situation like this, or if there are guys like me who think like this.

Does she know you are a virgin?

Since the idea of carrying a condom seems to be uncomfortable for you because you think it will give her the wrong impression of you, why not talk to her about the situation if you are, indeed, in a position to "get lucky?"

What you can do is limit any sexual encounter with her to making out/heavy petting/etc. Give yourself a boundary, and stick to it - don't dare have sex without a condom. It's just dumb. If she tells you she'd like things to go further, explain your situation: you do not have a condom with you. If she has a condom, you know what her intentions were - and if you are comfortable with the idea, go for it. If not, let her know that you would like to take things further, but safely, and at another time.

http://secure.condomania.com/images/C-T2GO-UT_1_dt.jpg

This is your best bet. They don't go bad (as in breaking down from wear and tear) and they fit in your wallet. I carry this with me at all times. I had the same problem you did, the "should I? Shouldn't I?" dilemma as comes to taking a condom with me. I always struggled about that, so this fixes the problem. I always have one, so I don't have to worry about it. This way, I almost put it out of my mind until I'm in a bathroom stall with some girl I met 3 hours, 3 shots, 2 beers, 3 long island iced teas ago.

Put one of these in your wallet WAY before seeing her again, you will forget about it and as long as you don't dump everything in your wallet on the table, she won't ever know you have one... until you are sliding one on and giving her the stiff one eye.

As coming from someone that had podling scares and the always fun wait in line at the local health dept to find out if your dick is going to rot off or not; it's worth it to be over-safe.

why does she have to know you're bringing/carrying a condom?

you should always carry a condom. no excuses.

If she's worth your time, she will appreciate you having a condom.

Carry a condom. No questions asked. Is she gonna strip search you? It just means you have a surer chance of being comfortable when you get lucky!

EDIT: Carry condoms

I always have condoms on me.

It no longer freaks out my wife, which is odd considering we don't use them...

Bring a condom and say you always carry a condom. If she was wanting to fuck you she will just be grateful.

Carry a condom with you at all times. It's important to be protected! I have known a few virgins that are all about getting laid, then they run off with some bimbo at a party and get lucky (unprotected that is). I understand that this girl you are interested in probably isn't a bimbo....but it's better to be safe then sorry. If you are getting ready to do business and you pull out your condom and she gets upset, butt-hurt, or try's to tell you she's STD free...DON'T cave! that usually means she's bat-shit crazy and your not the first guy shes done this too! Be safe, and have fun! :)

Carry.

My boy was just 17 and upset after an argument with his (amazing, lovely, very special) girlfriend when he got likker'd up and went upstairs at some house party with a silly, way-too-young hottie.

Now his life is totally different and I'm a grampa. He lost his (amazing, lovely, very special) girl, has been working factory jobs after dropping out of school to support his kid, his life is now a long, low-pay grind as far as his eye can see . . .

Don't fret. Don't be an idiot because you wonder what "someone might think". You've already thought all you need.

Carry.

Carry. Driving to the store all hornied-up with a boner is not a lot of fun, I've done it twice. She doesn't have to know you have one until you're both naked and she's sucked you hard anyways, at which point she'd be a little out of line to judge you for thinking you might get lucky.

By the way, this line of thought is super common among evangelical/religious kids. If they carry proper protection, it's evidence they were planning to get their hump on, and therefore premeditated and sinful, whereas if they just get hot and bothered and end up sticking it in, well, they just got swept up and had a moment of weakness, which is somehow more forgivable. As if there is a karmic difference between 1st degree premeditated fornication, vs just 3rd degree vaginaslaughter.

And if you have daughters, tell them to carry too.

It takes two people to fuck, and just because one of them has a vagina doesn't stop her carrying protection for a penis.

Think about it - would you rather she have a condom in her purse for a date, or a baby in her belly for nine months and in her arms for a lifetime?

Condom now or abortion later.

I was going to say--is she going to go through your pockets or something?

Unless you think it'll mess with YOUR behavior to be carrying one (which, let's be honest, it might), you have no reason not to be packing.

No, what he meant is if it comes to sex and he pulls out a condom, she'll question him about the reason he had one in the first place. It's a pretty weird train of thought, but that's what he meant.

... if it comes to sex ... he pulls out a condom ....

Exactly. Mission accomplished, no?

...

Is there some kind of secret safety dance going on here that I'm unaware of? I remember numerous occasions where I would have chopped off my pinky for a condom... never the other way 'round. "Damn, you've got a condom? Ugh, jeez! This ruins everything," is not something I've ever heard. This playing hard to get stuff seems to be way too Moonlighting to occur in reality. Turns out women want sex just as much as men despite the specter of Victorian bullshit stains in the back of some of our heads telling us that sex is dirty. Condoms are a necessity... no different than cash at the gas station. This issue must be a Midwest / Christian guilt/shame/angst thing. Either that or I've been rockin' the mattress with E-Z-bake 'ho-bags for the last decade.

I think it's related to the idea that if you take a condom along you must have decided the girl was a slut, and no girl will sleep with a guy who thinks she's a slut.

If a girl thinks like that, she isn't worth his time. Refer to post #5.

I agree, but that they're out there is undeniable.

um I think if you get to the point with any woman where you're both wanting to have sex and thinking of breaking out the condoms, then you're both adults and were both considering it long before you got to it. So having a condom just means you were both thinking the same thing and that you are an intelligent and well-prepared man.

Carry a condom, she will appreciate your concern with safety and birth control far more than she will entertain the thought that you might have thought she'd be an easy lay. By the way, who would really think that unless they were sleeping with someone they only just met? And also, consenting adults make their own choices.

Don't just bring one...


Bring several boxes. Different brands, sizes, colors, flavors... Give her lots of options.

Let's put ourselves in the girl's in question's shoes (let's say... three inch black patent heels, with black back-seam thigh-high stockings. Yes. That's better.) for just one second.

For this to be a problem, she'd have to have these thoughts, in sequence:

"I want to have sex with this guy, but I didn't bring any protection. Boo."
"Oh! He has a condom."
"Why would he have a condom? Does he want to have sex with me?"
"I'd certainly never have sex with someone so disgusting. I'm out of here."

Yes! An entire trunk-full! Oh, wait... yeah. That would be creepy.

Don't be this guy:

Of course that would be creepy. Duh! He needs the trunk to stow away the body.

I don't see it happening, though. Once you're at "sex now", you're a good guy for being prepared.

"Hey, baby, I'm packin' latex" isn't exactly dessert conversation, obviously. But once the need for such a device presents itself, you're never not a hero for having the foresight to come prepared.

bring a condom.

if she doesnt want to root you silly for being a considerate person not only on your behalf, but also on hers, then she's not worth showing your dragon to.

Safe sex is sexy, period.

Heh... I don't know about that.

Buy a box of them. Walk in, place them on a table, look her straight in face and say "just in case" with a wink.

Its a great ice breaker.

I bring my racquet to the gym every time I go, just in case someone invites me to play racquetball. I never thought to be embarrassed about it. Maybe I should be?

I just wanted to say that I'm impressed with the concept of those Trojan2Gos. I had no idea the "hot wallet, failed condom" problem had been solved. Yay for progress!

Wish they were around in my teens.

I was waiting for DK or somebody equally trigger happy to do a concealed carry permit comparison. Carry that thing around for years and never use it.

Sadly, the problem hasn't be solved at all.

These condoms are not validated for full stability across their lifetime (generally five years post manufacture) if retained in a pocket. The changes of temperature and movement in a pocket will almost certainly cause them to suffer from micro fissures in the seal, allowing bacteria in.

What they are good for is to be popped into a pocket (such as a jacket or purse) where they will not be squashed and twisted as you move about, and kept there until you get home and take them out. As such, they are the same as any normal foiled condom (but much more expensive).

So, Mr. Condom, I can't carry these things in my wallet? Not for long periods of time? I had mine in my pocket for a few months and they seemed to be fine to me. What is the recommended time for something like that?

Thanks Daniel_, always good to get the professional answer. So, is there any hope on pocket storage being solved in the future, or is it a lost cause? (I only ask out of curiosity; I've been out of the condom purchasing market for a long time now.)

If I bring a condom, how can I use the "Oh, damn. I didn't bring one..." line?!
________________

Dude, there's nothing wrong with packing a rubber. It shows responsibility, and, trust me, it's a much easier method than mine.

"So, you got a recent test result laying around?"

"No."

"This could take a while..."

I never got why people carry condoms in their wallets. Too bulky. Most people have something they carry on them regularly other than a wallet. I have condoms stuffed in several backpacks, my car, my motorcycle, favorite jackets, etc. I'm regular Branch Davidian of safe sex: one behind every door.

I'm surprised they don't have a cell phone sleeve with a fortified condom slot. Most people take better care of their cell phones than their wallets.

Reminds me of the student who left his backpack after lab. It was a large-ish class, and they had moved around a lot - I couldn't think of whose bag it could be. So I started rooting around in an attempt to find a piece of paper or notebook with a name or identification. No luck on the name, but he had a rather large stash of condoms in a couple of the pockets.

Well, it's college. They're free from the health center. At my school they keep a giant bowl full of them right outside the door of the place.

Same. I often swing by there and load up my backpack or purse. Free is a good price for condoms!

The problem is that for each day you carry them around, there's an unknown percentage chance (lets call it X) that the condom will fail. These percentages are additive.

If you carry the condom for a month, it's got a 30X additional chance of failure.

Now maybe 30X is only 1/100, but it's more than 0%, isn't it?

In matters of protection and prevention, I would not want to do anything that increases the chance of failure.

I've not looked at a pack of Trojan2Go recently, as they're not available in the UK, but I am prepared to bet that they caution you not to keep them in your wallet for any length of time.

The problem is that most people are perfectly happy with ordinary foiled condoms, and that the possible alternates are much more expensive so there's not much point in developing them.

I'm with the crowd. Pack the condom. Speaking as a woman, if you get to that point, she'll be grateful that you have one. There is nothing more of a buzz kill than not having a condom. Or worse, asking if she has one, because then *she* might feel judged for having one handy.

Have them, whoever you are. If you get to the point of planning sticky fun, you can say "would you like to use my condoms, or yours?".

If you have a latex allergy, make sure you have non-latex condoms available. If you suspect your partner may have allergies, get non-latex.

In fact, if you want to gently broach the condom discussion early, you can introduce a conversation about allergies in order to sound your partner out and say "I like <brand> or condoms, because <reason>, how about you?".

Ohh man, I am really curious, I wonder if the dude got laid!

If you're gonna stick your wand in the deathly hollows, you better bring your invisibility cloak or you might get hogworts.

absolutely she will appreciate you having condoms. the first time years ago i had a serious girlfriend i knew it would end up in bed the next time and she really appreciated that i was considerate enough to be prepared and it went smoothly.

You made a Harry Potter sex joke in a thread started by a virgin?

You fail at life.

[insert random FAIL image]

:love:

How the hell did that car get there?!?

You can get one of these. Nobody will suspect a thing.
DealExtreme: $3.20 ZERO-0 Cell Phone Charm Strap with 1 Hidden Condom

In fact, you can get discreet condom storage that will keep them hidden in plain sight as long as you're hiding them from people who can't read.
DealExtreme: $2.30 Funny Car Rear Window Signs with Hidden Discreet Condoms (2-Pack)
DealExtreme: $3.60 Discreet Candy Box with 5 Hidden Condoms
DealExtreme: $2.65 Triangular Chocolate Packaging with 2 Discreetly Hidden Condoms
DealExtreme: $1.68 Funny Face Lollipop with 1 Hidden Condom
I don't know whether I want to hug you or kill you right now.

I used to drive around with a trunk full of condoms....magnums at that! The condoms didn't freak the boys out as much as the HIV tests.

I used to work for a health department in their Health Education division. I would take condoms and pass them out at health fairs. My favorite was passing them out at the Senior Citizen Center. I also helped with the HIV testing. I can't count how many times I was tested. (I would get tested as an example to show people how easy it is. It eased the nerves. I had a false positive once...that was scary.)

Anyway, always carry a condom. It's less nerve wracking than an pregnancy test or an HIV test.

Thanks to those who responded to what I was trying to ask with a sincere answer.

Sorry that I didn't quite phrase what I was trying to ask properly. I was never intending to NOT bring a condom, I'm not stupid, just looking for people's opinion on what it would look like.

None the less, to answer the curiosity, I brought the condom, but she ended up having one and volunteered it before I had a chance to break mine out. It was good. :)

Congratulations!! I am happy that all worked out well for you!

Truly a happy ending.

Great news everyone!

http://images2.fanpop.com/images/pho...4-1024-768.jpg

You are just jealous of my brilliance. :lol:

So....how was her whispering eye?

see, even sluts can be safe!

The REAL challenge is explaining the anal lube you take to the second date... ;)

This whole thread reminds me of:

I feel obligated to remind everyone that changes in temperature are really bad for condoms, so places like your wallet (body heat, then none), your car (temps rising and falling), etc... are not the best places for condoms to be for any actual length of time.

My personal opinion on condoms is that if you can't talk about them, you shouldn't be in a situation where one should be used.

Dont go anywhere without one
 

I had an ocassion once where we ended up in a passionate moment - in my mini cooper of all places - and we were ready till she popped the question. Do you have one?

I didnt and it ruined things.

HAHAHAHA. So true.

Seriously. We would have situations like this: Going to bars with friends, getting out of the car. "Hey Pablo, you packin'? Wouldn't want to ruin it like that time in Miami." "I'm prepared [big grin and pelvic thrust.] You?" "Yeah, but II won't need 'em, I'm thinking of trying to break my record of most lesbians approached in one night. I'm still at 6 plus the DJ's girlfriend from that Goth club in Orlando." [this was a funny story if anyone wants to hear it.] "I've got one or two on reserve just in case I find one who's into dudes tonight."

I have an uncanny ability to unwittingly approach lesbians in bars and clubs.

There's a set of TV ads in the UK that cover this territory almost as you say.

Just carry. If it comes to sex, why would she berate you for thinking that you would get lucky with her? If you're both naked and about to do it, it was obviously an accurate prediction.

my girlfriend gets mad if i don't bring a condom:lol:

If all you want to do is get laid ... then you always should be carrying. But ... if you're thinking love not lust ... long term not short term ... relationship not poking a pussy ... then you absolutely don't carry. And if the heat and action start to build you get to be the man and say: "We're gonna hafta go slow - I don't have any condoms (that's correct: plural). So let's discover how much pleasure we can create together without doing it?!? I gotta tell you - all of my sexual regrets are about the times we just went for it. Going slow and torturing each other with sensual pleasure makes everones's orgasm (in or out) wicked wonderful.

Of course if you're at her place and she pulls out a 3-pack ... well the condoms on the other foot.

Have fun ... it's a journey - not an olympic downhill race.

I apologize, but this is fucking terrible advice. Completely irresponsible of you to even suggest that if someone is looking for something with love and long-term, they shouldn't carry one.

Let alone incorrect.

In this age of STD's it is irresponsible NOT to carry a condom.

More then once I've been told "If you want to get laid you better have a condom"

I hate condoms and the men who carry them in their wallets

Fuck me I hope that was a poor effort in sarcasm....

Not a lot of Catholics around these parts I guess lol

Glad to hear you took one and got some, anyone who doesn't carry is a moron. (Long term relationships aside.

As mentioned repeatedly in this thread it's not just about knocking your woman up it's a safety net to protect yourself form STD's.

I dated a chic, we moved in together and things were great, she then went off and fucked half of the British Royal Air force and got herself a good dose of Chlamydia, I figured as we were living together everything was grand....wrong and I learned the hard way too boot, while I didn't get it thank God I still had a glass rod shoved down my japs eye every Wednesday for 3 weeks.


Now you just have to explain the BDSM outfits in your closet. :thumbsup:

Oh there you go, million dollar idea right there... Cell phone sleeve complete with condom holder. And after the copycats take it to the market? iPod/iPhone Condom Sleeve.

---------- Post added at 10:56 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:34 AM ----------

good on ya for packin' one. And welcome to the club ;)

I'm still on the fence wether the Harry Potter comment was WIN or FAIL :P