08-01-2009, 06:27 AM | #1 (permalink) |
Psycho
Location: Australia
|
Guarded
Women have always been a great weakness of mine.
It's not that I'll bend to their every whim, on the contrary, I'll always do the complete opposite of what a woman will tell me to do, even when I know full well she's right. But, I love them. Everything about them. The fact they're so much like men in so many ways, yet so different. While men are wild dogs, women are wild cats; graceful, elegant, but ready to hunt and strike when you're most certain you're safe. While a man's body is so utilitarian and practical, a woman's is beauty: curvaceous, voluptuous, something even God must have been proud of upon creation. But the longer I live, the more I understand, we are all just the same, but just a little different. I've lived a life kinda interesting, knowing many women, but knowing too rarely a woman's touch. I have lived a life constantly awed and baffled by the opposite sex. I have lived a life guarded. Afraid of hurt and humiliation. It's funny, how we both have that fear, women and men. For all our differences, we have a lot in common. I know this. Yet still, always the shy guy, never know what to say around the women I'm attracted to. I've never really understood sex the same way others do. Don't get me wrong, I like it, I often think about it. I just... I just don't understand the fanfare and hype around it. I don't understand the extent people are willing to go to, just to get it. I mean, sometimes I'll meet a lass and the only thing I can think about is about animalistic sex with her. Most other times, I'm just trying to understand. Understand the same thing with everyone else. What the hell makes us tick? And why does no amount of searching, reading, looking or asking questions bring me any closure to this God awful human condition. Men need sex to feel loved. Woman need to feel loved to have sex. What a load of complete crap! Women seem perfectly capable of fucking over guys and guys seem perfectly capable of doing the same back. Why do we seem to get caught in the loop of just trying to fuck eachother over before we ourselves get hurt? We'll always get to the same point eventually. Tired and resigned. Just wanting something real, some truth. We have these compulsions, this obsession to mate. But the whole thing is so distant and ridiculous to me. I feel like some conservative puritan throw back in my own generation and time! An outside observer, looking at it all with a cold clinical eye. Always asking why don't I get it yet!? What is it everyone understands that I don't! What I've always understood, was that driving force, without reason or logic to fall in love, do to anything and everything to keep it. Regardless of how stupid I knew it was, despite what anyone told me at the time. That was only ever the only truth I trusted, no matter how many times it burned me, or burned them. Still and the end of it all, for all my deep seeded cynicism, for all my being a cranky bastard and a shut out. I will still always be a hopeless romantic. Somewhat guarded, but always ready to accept that most likely, the love of a woman will make me do probably everything and anything, just to hold that feeling again. Because women will always hold something over me, something I can never explain. Being perfectly human, having all the fears I do, all the same joys I do. But always in such a way I can't quite put into words, knowing full well, they probably think the same about me. A truth I might never know. We all seem so guarded sometimes.
__________________
You are not a slave |
08-01-2009, 11:50 AM | #2 (permalink) |
More Than You Expect
Location: Queens
|
There isn't much to respond to here but I'm right there with you.
I find that these issues of being guarded or lustful and stupid stem mostly from never having subjected much of what we believe to critical analysis. The old archetypes go unchecked and get us into trouble and in some final desperate act we come to realize that we've burnt through enough people and that all we have is all we need. I'm guilty as charged, I've done my share of dumb things and I've botched a few relationships. But I'm starting to see that above all, love is the point.
__________________
"Porn is a zoo of exotic animals that becomes boring upon ownership." -Nersesian |
08-01-2009, 12:22 PM | #3 (permalink) |
follower of the child's crusade?
|
A guy once did a "study" which basically found that the ideal relationship was between a man who was marginally more sexually dominant than the woman.
If the man was much more sexual, then the woman would get creeped out If the man was less sexual then the woman would come to hold him in contempt So the best partnership was when the men was just a bit more sexual than the woman __ In a lot of the relationships Ive been in I think Ive been probably a lot more sexual than the woman I was with, and tried to repess my feelings, and was filled with guilt about the fact I wasnt maybe really fulfilled. Then again, although I like sex a lot Im really into only standard screwing, and not so much kinky stuff - so if like a girl wanted to do me up the arse with a strap on dildo or tie me up and spank me I'd run a mile. _ I dont think sexual conectivity is the be all and end of all of a relatinship, but its very important. I suspect the bit about the man having to be just a little dominant might be the bias of the (male) researcher... but I very firmly believe now that to be with someone you are very compatible with sexually is so crucial to a relationship I dont mean that in a shallow way of saying "only date someone who is a 10/10 stunner" - but that its best to date with someone who wants sex about as much as you do, and without any major differences in style. (although luckily for me I am dating a 10/10 girl right now, although Im a 5/10 kind of guy, so Im not sure how that part works for her... I think she must be attracted to my winning personality and cheeky smile - or else she's into big, strong, fat, unruly men...)
__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate, for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain without being uncovered." The Gospel of Thomas |
Tags |
guarded |
|
|