Allyallyally

Does anyone here enjoy this kind of sex play?

If so, is it something you do often with your partner?
How far have you ever taken it?
How do you ensure your (or your partner's) safety?

If not, is it something you think you might like to try?

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healer

Allyallyally, it is considered good form to lead with your own opinions and experiences when starting a new thread. It helps keep the thread going the way you want it to go, and gets the discussion going.

I've never tried it, but can see apeal. It's way too dangerous for me to consider, even if I'm doing it with someone I trust completely.

Definitely not something to try on the first date.

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CinnamonGirl

I have very, VERY lightly played with this. I'll admit to it being a bit of a turn-on to feel someone's hands around my throat...but I've never taken it far enough to where it becomes actual choking. Not sure I'd be willing to go that far, to be honest. Maybe with the right person, someone I absolutely trusted.

How about you? Is this something you're into?

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Allyallyally

Ah, thanks for the advice. I was more interested in your guy's opinions, I guess! There wasn't one way I wanted this thread to go... just general experiences/opinions was all I was after.

I would have added mine, eventually, though.

---------- Post added at 11:33 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:27 AM ----------

It's something I tried a couple of years back with a boyfriend who was very much into a lot of kinky play, but I was only starting out with that kind of stuff, so I didn't get into it as much as I probably would, now. Now I'm much more experimental, and I love rough play, so I'd like to try it again.

The guy I'm currently seeing has expressed interest in trying this (as we've been dating our sex life has gotten more and more "daring"), and I'd love to indulge him in his fantasy, as he happily does with mine. I was just more or less looking for advice and/or other people's experiences with it. I'd dabbled in it lightly in the last couple of years, but nothing serious. I'm trying to figure out the best way to go about it, it seems as though there are plenty of different ways to get the desired effect!

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markd4life

First, you want to be with someone you trust. Second have a SAFETY word, or Hand signal to stop Play! Experiment with panty hose, ties, clothing, etc. I find it quite exciting. Done at the right time it can lead to an explosive orgasm, good luck.

ShaniFaye

Being in the lifestyle Dave and I are in, this is something we've done pretty much since the beginning of our relationship. We do not use props, hands only, way too many things can go wrong with props. I can say from multiple experience its given me some of the most mind blowing O's I've ever had. One of our rules, no matter who is the choker/chokee, we keep eye contact at all times, if one of us closes our eyes its stopped immediately

damn, now I've gotten all hot thinking about this

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Halx

Does anyone have any technique advice? Where to squeeze? Where the "sweet spot" is? Is there any timing involved in getting these great orgasms?

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Charlatan

I like the feeling of being smothered. This can be done with hand, breasts, or whatever... I wouldn't mess with this solo and I would never use props.

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little_tippler

I have never tried this exactly, but I've heard of it. Inadvertently, once it kind of happened by accident. I didn't like it because for a moment there I thought I might run out of air and actually die. I had a little panic moment when that happened. Basically the guy I was having sex with covered my mouth because we needed to be quiet and since he wasn't facing me, he didn't realize he was cutting off my air entirely...I had to hit my arms on the bed for him to get it. I was pretty pissed off about it because it was a scary feeling. What if he hadn't realized? What if he hadn't stopped? Not fun.

I guess if you trust the person and it's not done too heavily it may be good, but that little taste of lack of air supply I got that one time made me scared of putting myself in that situation because, even unwittingly, it's very easy and fast to go too far.

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ShaniFaye

It depends on the person. I myself like Dave to put his hands side by side with his thumbs over lapping each other and then put that area where the base of his thumbs are right above my clavicle in that hollow spot. He cant press too hard to start with or I start coughing immediately, so he has to start light and get harder the closer I get to cumming.

Its kinda hard to describe the timing, again thats different for everyone, Dave likes it at a different time than I do. If he's doing it to me, he cant start until I get aroused to a certain point (he knows this as the "if you suck my nipples this minute Im gonna cum any second stage") so its probably about 2-3 minutes or so before I get off, he holds pressure until about the middle of the orgasm (he knows me well enough to know where the middle is) and then lets up pressure, still keeping his hands around my neck, while I finish

does that help?

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

Halx

It does, Shani, thank you.

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Shell

...what are the statistics of people dying while doing this? I've never seen it in the headlines as a cause of death...have you? But seems possible...especially if people are drunk.

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PonyPotato

Did you not hear about David Carradine's death?

From David Carradine's Death Likely a Sex Accident - ABC News

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Halx

The singer from INXS also died while doing this by himself.

But that's not really what the thread is about.

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ShaniFaye

They also suspect Michael Hutchence from INXS died this way as well....two very good reasons to never do it alone, too much can go wrong

I would never never ever attempt this with Dave if either of us were in any kind of altered state of mind

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

LordEden

Messed around with it in a past relationship. Nothing major, kind of like what little_tipper said, accidental kind of thing. She really wasn't into it and I only like doing light BDSM and pain play. I don't get into the heavy stuff. I feel like what Halx said about him whipping that girl and it looked like he wanted to apologize every time he hit her.

I hold my breath when I masturbate, sometimes I try to draw out my orgasm until I can't hold my breath anymore. I think it intensives my orgasm when I'm alone, but I've only had it done to me once...

Which leads to my semi-funny story. I had a random booty call in college. Nothing special about her; ok looking with a real country personality. One night after we finished off a bottle of Jack together we went to my bedroom to have sex. Normal sex shit until I was getting ready to finish. She was riding me and doing her best to get me off. At this point in my sex life, I didn't know I held my breath during orgasm. She noticed this and when I was about to come, I said something. For the life of my I don't remember what I said, but she heard, "Choke me". She threw her hands around my neck started choking me. I went from shock to orgasm pretty fast, as I was already at the breaking point right before she did it. I had an amazing orgasm but the second the wave was over. I threw her off of me. I got pissed and threw her out of my room, made her sleep on the couch. I acted like I was just pissed for her putting her hands on me, but really I was freaked about someone doing that to me, I DID NOT trust her with my life.

She left early in the AM but not before making me breakfast and leaving it in the oven for me. Left me a note saying she was sorry. Next three days she blew up my phone calling me, trying to apologize. I was having none of it (I was going through my "girls like an asshole" phase) and ignored her. On the third day there was a card and a bottle of Jack on my front porch. The card was a generic "Sorry we had a misunderstanding" type of thing. Guess hallmark doesn't make a "Sorry I choked the shit out of you during sex" card. I knew she was sitting out in her car waiting to see if I took the bottle. I saw her get out of the car and start walking up the steps to me. My best friend/roommate stepped outside and picked up the bottle of whiskey. She walked up to me and asked if she could come in. I told her "Only if Josh invites you in, I'm leaving." I dropped the card on the ground, then got in my car and started to leave. I see my roommate hold up the bottle and make the drinking motion to her. Right before I got in my car I yelled, "Watch out man, that bitch will choke the life out of ya." Her look was one of complete horror and embarrassment.

I still feel bad about that one, she was a nice girl.

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Shell

...yes, but i didn't read any follow-up details...i assumed he hung himself...how sad

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genuinegirly

Geesh, what a story! It must have hurt her pretty badly as well, if she worked so hard to apologize.

I rank choking up there with blood play: can see how it could work for other people, but I have no interest in trying it anytime soon.

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Allyallyally

Have you guys ever taken it so far that you passed out? Any bad experiences?

What's your signal to stop? Obviously using a safe word isn't going to help at this point, someone mentioned hand signals, and/or shutting your eyes..?

(Anyone who dabbles in it please feel free to answer the questions above!)

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ShaniFaye

No, neither of us has ever passed out, in 6 years we havent ever had a bad experience. Another one of our rules, along with shutting the eyes is that the person being choked is never restrained, that way our "signal" is to touch the arm of the choker if we need them to stop

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

MSD

Maybe I'm just an ignorant northerner, but when I think of a girl with a "real country personality," choking me during sex is not on the list of traits I'm imagining.

UnclearContent

Pretty much the same whenever I've done this. I always maintain eye contact no matter what position. If the girl closes her eyes/goes limp/taps my arm/flails or makes any sort of erratic motions I stop. Always err on the side of caution, especially early on. The choker can obviously get a thrill from the power/control involved, but every focus has to be on the chokee to prevent injury/death.

Something I would never mess with early in a relationship, and never mixed with intoxicants.

NEVER use props. The potential for injury is just so much higher. Props, like any simple machine, can amplify the power of the user. You may be able to cause some real damage. I can imagine it would difficult to go into work the next day and explain that nifty garrotte bruise.

LordEden

I don't associate "country personality" with choking, just was adding fluff to the story. I could have not described her, but I was telling a story and I thought it added to the story telling quality of it.

She really just wanted to please me, which is why I feel bad about the way I treated her. I wouldn't have reacted the same way now as I did 5 years ago. Coulda Woulda Shoulda.

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Bear Cub

I love it, though I love to be the choker, more than the chokee.


I prefer to reach around and grab their throat when I'm doing them doggie style, and pull them up to me. I find that both like it best when you evenly spread the pressure out and keep the fingers almost flat from this position. You get a constant squeeze that way, not just a pinch from the thumb and fingertips.


And the safety word is always "I consent".

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mixedmedia

I like all kinds of kinky things, but I don't think I could ever get into this.
Besides, my orgasms are already pretty fucking intense from doing the things I enjoy, lol. Having more intense orgasms really isn't a goal of mine.

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ShaniFaye

I dont believe I know you here? VERY nice to find a like minded person

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

Punk.of.Ages

I like to grab a girl by the throat when having sex doggy style. I never do it long enough to even come close to passing her out. The first choking noise made, I release the pressure. So, I guess I'd say I just dabble lightly in it.
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Slightly Off Topic Story

My buddy and his wife have always used my name as their safe word. They asked me what it should be and I said there was no other reason my name would come up during sex, so there you go. I was joking. They thought it was funny and made sense so they went with it.

I find it pretty funny that one of my best friend's wife says my name during sex sometimes, and I haven't been beaten up.

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Bear Cub

You know PoA, I'm starting to think you're my long-lost, slightly more pussified brother.

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Xerxys

I love it. Like LordEden here, I've been choked in the heat of things. I went from 0-60 in milliseconds and came from the sheer fright of how awesome it felt. I was ashamed later on for cumming too fast but hey, I'm into submission so the shame instantly turned into hornyness and I was up again!!

I pray to GOD this doesn't happen to all people ... I would always want a newer high of orgasm. I don't care, no sky is limited here!

Punk.of.Ages

That's because I get more...

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"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager

"Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike

Bear Cub

Get more, are one, it's all semantics...

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mixedmedia

lol, nothing happened. I think I've always been this way. chillax.

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Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

Irishsean

Hands around the throat, yes.
Slight squeezing to make them feel anxious, yes.
Actual breath control during heavy BDSM play, yes.
Actually choking someone until they pass out, no.

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UnclearContent

*waves*

Nice to meet you.

FuglyStick

No. Would I enter into a relationship with someone who enjoys it? No.

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Silverbrain

I enjoy doing it and having it done to me, I have never orgasmed while it happened...although I'd like try that at some point.

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Allyallyally

Thanks guys for all of your replies, they've been interesting to read.

For those that have experience with it, how would you recommend going about it for the first time?

I tend to jump straight into things.. I went from 0 to pain slut in about two sex sessions years back.

Obviously I'd like to take this somewhat slowly. A friend recommended "Penny Flame's expert guide to rough sex", which has a segment on choke play, and how to do it safely on it. Has anyone ever seen this?

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Strange Famous

100% no.

I have no interest in having it done to me and the idea of doing it to someone else is personally utterly unacceptable to me as an individual.

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Bear Cub

I think once they become accustomed to feeling something around their neck, the hard part's over with. The gradual increase/pressure is the easy part, until they get to that point in which they feel uncomfortable. They'll let you know when that point is, and as long as you use that as a reference point, have fun and wear turtlenecks.

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