An awkward situation..
 

Found myself in a crazy situation:

A friend of the opposite sex had brought over a hard drive to transfer some files around. At the same time I was cleaning out my computer and was just reviewing the trash before I emptied/deleted.

I didn't recognize the filename so I had to move it back onto my computer desktop to view the file in case I was accidentally deleting the wrong thing, double clicked it to check out what it was before I deleted it, and turns out that it's a sextape. (I guess the other person trashed it, but did not actually delete the file permanently? Therefore it popped up in my trash) I feel really awkward, like a sense of guilt to have seen it--I wasn't snooping around or anything, but it was in my trash on my computer. :eek: :no:

While I know the right thing to do is to delete all traces off my computer as it is the right thing to do, but I have to admit that I'm finding it a bit difficult. Thoughts? Anyone else been in this situation? I don't know if I can look at this person the same way.

Maybe she/he left it there for you to find.

No. Never been in this situation.

The fact that you say you are finding it "a bit difficult" to delete and that you don't know if you can look at her the same way again leads me to believe you watched the whole thing, more than once, instead of stoping.

If you want to be the friend you say you are, delete it. Don't show it to anyone, obviously. Delete, delete, delete.

This is not free porn, you are violating her trust by keeping this video on your computer without her knowledge.

You are in possession of a private video, that was obviously not taped for your pleasure. Delete it. Don't violate her trust, right to privacy or her dignity.

As far as you not looking at her the same way again, this was not a "shared" video. Meaning she taped it for you to see. This was not taped for your entertainment. Did you think your friend never had sex?

You are being foolish. If you value your friendship with this woman, delete it.

Right now.

Delete it. And that does not mean watch it again before you delete it.

Respect yourself. Respect her.

Delete.

Delete.

Delete.

Hey Halanna, thanks for your reply. I do feel obliged to say I did not view the whole thing or re-view it several times as you're quick to assume. I did not turn it off immediately as I was more shocked like "is that what I think it is?"

Nonetheless, files deleted. Feel a weight off my chest and that was something I needed to hear. While sometimes in a moment of weakness I may regret it, I can now sleep easier at night. Thank you.

Anonymous, I'm sorry that I was too quick to assume your intentions with the watching/not watching the video.

I just felt from the angst of your post that you had watched the whole thing and I was wrong.

So I'm sorry for that.

I am however pleased that you respected yourself and her by hitting the "delete" button. You most certainly did the right thing.

Well done! :thumbsup:

yeah it's kind of scary what you could do to a person (whether intentional or not), if the file hung around and someone else got it up on the web somehow, etc...you did the right thing.

im sure most of you savy tech people know this, but by deleting something from your computer, it doesnt actually mean that the file still isnt on your computer. you've only deleted a shortcut to it. thats the best i can describe it.

maybe someone else cares to elaborate on this? i

f you computer ever got hacked and they got their hands on all the files you thought werent there, and you were the only possible person that could have gotten their hands on the file.. you may have a hard time explaining yourself. excuse the pun ;)

"deleting a shortcut" is a pretty good analogy. It doesn't go away until you overwrite it with new information.

ummmm... watch it?

thespian86, what if it was your next door neighbour, not her hot daughter, but, you know her mom, she kinda reminds you of Aunt Mable, remember those fat flaps?!?! Yeah, and now you just watched it,

and now you want to gauge your eyes out.

I would've kept the video. On an external hard drive, but I would've kept it.

<.<

I guess I'm morally bankrupt :(?

EDIT: I composed this quite a bit earlier than the last reply ><

I wonder if she's made more... and if they can be found online. >_> I wonder if she's hot.

haha.. but yeah. It's good you deleted it.

What basically happens when you initially "delete" a file, is that you are telling the computer's MBR or master boot record, to "forget" where this file is. There are only 2 generally accepted ways to delete a file permanently.Either by using an erasing program (popular with companies who want to make sure sensitive documents/files are properly deleted, or by the file itself being overwritten(in essence another file's data was written over it)
Other than using a file cleaning program, pretty much anyone with some tech savvy can recover accidentally deleted files.

First of all, I've never wanted to "gauge" my eyes out after seeing a naked woman; maybe it's because I'm young but every time "nudity" and "women" are involved I'm pretty happy.

But I'd be more interested in, and maybe this is considered creepy, seeing an intense intimate moment of someone I'd never get the chance to see in said situation. It's like watching a fight or a break up or whatever; it's not so much attractive as it is interesting - people are hardly ever real so it would be cool seeing the realest of real moments of my next door neighbor who always 'social laughs' and speaks in some regal voice when we talk.

The computer writes a line of 0s over the first byte of the file. It's like covering the first letter of a book's title in black ink to save yourself ink and time, but to let you know the paper can be recycled. The recycling bin is like putting it in an actual recycling bin before getting rid of it, and undeleting is like erasing the ink.
Anyone who can search for "file recovery" and install a free trial can do it. My mom has done it. Writing over data once with all 0s or random data will keep your files safe unless you've made enemies with someone who has an electron microscope and a lot of free time. Three passes is unrecoverable, and the NSA does something like 34 because the chance is so low that something will be readable, even with a lot of problems writing to the disk.

Before you get rid of a hard drive, run the three-pass mode of Darik's Boot And Nuke | Hard Drive Disk Wipe and drill it.

Ahhh, yes, I prefer to be selective in the various realities presented to me by the world ...

... just popped in my head, do you watch reality TV? You know, not spike or Real TV, stuff like the Bad Girls club, Jeremy (Springer, I think) ... ???

been there, seen random pictures/videos. Found some of an ex on their computer one time. That was awkward because I know they were not taken for me. ><

I actually found a very erotic picture of my friend's wife in one of my shared folders the other day. He didn't mean for it to end up there.

I laughed, complimented him on his wife in a joking manner, and deleted it. He just laughed, blushed a little, and said, "Oops."

A little bit different of a situation, but along the same lines. I just alleviated the awkwardness with a little carefully placed humor.

Anonymous you definitely did the right thing

Admittedly it doesn't sound like your friend is overly tech savvy to have left the file on there for you to find ( or to even need your help clearing out her PC) but if she had somehow found out you had that file on your computer you would have lost a friend.

By deleting that file you've proven that she's your friend because of her personality - not her tits.

To those of you saying he should have kept it and watched it - sorry but right now to be honest I think you're pretty horrible human beings. That was not a shared video, it was ( or could have been) an intimate moment between her and a partner. It would be a major breech of all forms of friendship to have watched or kept it.

I'm insulted you read what I wrote and equated that with Jerry Springer.

And I'm okay with being a horrible person Hyacinthe. I seem to get along just fine.

Ha ha ha ha ha I guess most guys are horrible people then because no guy in their right mind would not watch it.

i probably am not in the right mind then....i could never do that to a friend. ever.

Threadjack alert.

Just a slight correction here, the MBR has nothing to do with what files are where excluding the OS's kernel. What holds the records of what files are where ,what size, using which sector(s) are the FAT tables AKA File Allocation Tables.
The MBR an FAT are totally seperate. BTW when you erase a file it only removes it from the primary FAT, leaving it intact on the secondary FAT (yes there are 2 of them in case the primary becomes corrupt).

End Threadjack.

Now my 2 cents worth, Delete that file an you might want to alert her that the file wasn't really deleted on her drive and explain how you know.

I'm in the same "you horrible me" crowd with Mr. Thespian here. I like real stuff... life is far too short and involves far too little of this magical goo, these hybrid moments... where the things usually relegated to our fantasy world is real because it involves real people. It doesn't matter if it's bad-filmed mediocre sex acts or a name-calling break-up or a fist fight or people baking cookies on a Saturday afternoon. I want to see it, I want to compare myself to it, I want to be just as real as them for having witnessed it and being able to relate. If that makes me a horrible person, fine, but at least I indulged while I was alive and died experiencing the gamut of reality instead of closing my eyes to it.

I wouldn't keep the video, but I'd watch it.

I was upgrading a user's laptop at work to a new system. I noticed that on his desktop there were a bunch of blank spots were icons should be. I got curious and checked the trash can. It was filled with underwear pictures of said guy. I didn't do much with them other than LOL and I just left them in there. Blackmail is not my thing. I'm glad it's not your thing either!

Had one returned to our office at work with a broken screen and claims that it had been " running slowly" My employee had set it aside to work on at a later date, and when she got started on it, after replacing the screen she brought it to me. She set it on the desk and said " Look at the folder on the desktop named 'our eyes only'. Fearing the worst, as we'd gotten one in a few months before with illegal images on it, and been forced to report it, I asked my PC tech "Is it illegal?". Her response was 'No, but I think you need to be aware."

I can only assume that the pictures and videos were of the woman to whom the laptop had been assigned. She happened to be one of our more successful salespeople, though I'd never spoken to her or met her in person. ( About half the country away from our office.)

The first pictures were.. Erotic, but not nude, and she was very attractive. I called my employee again, and asked " Okay, did you see pictures of her in what is either a bikini, or it may have been underwear and bra?" ( hard to tell with the pics, and not any more revealing than a fairly modest bikini... not one of the wicked weasel type of suits).

"Yes. But there are a couple of other folders, and I didn't want to look. I don't want to have to deal with HR and making the call, so I brought it to you."

I thanked her, somewhat sarcastically, but honestly, as that's okay, and as a manager it's my job. I debated deleting the entire folder right then and there, but the saleswoman had requested that we try to save any data that was salvagable. So I called her.

"Hey, this is ***** the IT support manager. One of the techs brought me your laptop to attempt to save some data. The drive is definitely wonky (that's a technical term there.. but I'm pretty non technical) but I can probably get some items from it. What folders specifically do you need, or do you know where the data is stored?"

Her reply surprised me in one sense, but not in another, when she said "Ah, I'm not sure where things are going to be stored, really. Can you just take a look at the files in the folders and see what looks like pictures or spreadsheets?"

" Um, I can. Anything in there confidential?" (Pics would be a normal part of what she'd need, so I cannot in any way assume that she was suggesting that I look at the more personal ones)

" Not really. Just see what you can find if you have the time, please. I've got a lot of work in there that I'd hate to have to replace."

So now what? I grabbed an external hard drive from the gang, and a thumb drive. I moved everything that I could from every folder on there, except the obviously personal one, which I transferred to the thumb drive. I then called her back. " I think I've actually got most of your data intact. "

"Oh, Awesome"

"There was a folder on there that on entering I opened a couple of pics and it was clearly very personal..."

" Really? (long pause) OOOOOOOOOhhhh..... Oh..."

" look, I've already wiped the drive completely, and I don't intend to contact HR. My question is, do you need these too? I can mail the thumb drive, but I want to ensure that you open your own packages at the office."

" Oh. *embarassed* No. "

"Alright" I said, " I'll clear this off then."

She replied: "oh, whatever."

"I'll have ***** ship you the external drive, and we can bill your department, or you can send it back to us when you've copied your things then."

"Okay, great, have fun!" She hung up.

"Have fun?? Whatever??... HMMMMMM"

I had her drive shipped back, and then I thought about it for a rather long time. I decided that while it was possible I misinterpreted, I was going to look anyway. I got up and closed my door, so no one else could walk in and see it, in case it was REaLLY revealing, and I looked.

I got past the first few 'provocative poses' where she had purple hair and was playing Rock Star or Guitar Hero or something, and as I scanned deeper, they got rather explicit. The video clips she had on there were nothing short of really good amateur hardcore. I watched each of them, some of them twice. No, I didn't sit in my office and wank, though frankly, I could have. On completion I wrote her an email that said, near as I can remember," Your data has been shipped using ########### Tracking number. You should receive it tomorrow. In the future, please bear in mind that all data on company owned computers is considered company property, and your manager is permitted to examine that data at any time it is deemed necessary. Additionally, on return to IT, it is possible that it could be seen as well. Installing personal software is prohibited, as is storage of personal data. On a personal note, please be careful what you put on there. I recommend an external hard drive like **link to suggested part* or a thumb drive if you have personal data to take with you. Alternatively you may also consider an iPod.
Thank you."

Her reply to me was: " No. Thank YOU. I understand."

I deleted the videos then, reformatted the thumb drive, and returned it to my crew. My tech asked me the next day if ****** was in trouble, and I said, " No, all I saw was either a bikini or a kind of lingerie picture, and I deleted the rest. were you offended, as yesterday you did not appear to be..?"

"nope, I was just curious if she'd put anything juicy on there."

"not that I saw. If it was there, it's long gone now"

That was the last I heard of it. Never felt particularly bad about looking at the pictures, but I have questioned the ethics of it once in a while since. I still kinda think she was trying to get me to look at them and get a reaction.

If I hadn't thought that at all, I would simply have deleted them after seeing the first two or three, and only those because it was brought to me and I felt it wise to try to ensure that there was no legal or HR issue.

toxic, WTF?!?!?! There was definitely a HR issue right there and you were CLEARLY gamed by her. I'm not trying to imply that your some sort of taddle tale but she obviously knew what she had on there which is why she mentioned the pictures.

Also, the thing she did on the phone, you know, the "deer in headlights" caught response. Totaly passive aggressive method of getting you to keep your mouth shut. I understand now why she's the TOP sales performer!!!

:lol:

One of our employees turned out to be quite popular in the online porn world. She doesn't work here anymore, who knows where she is now. She didn't get fired because of it either, only a few people knew about it.

I stand corrected. I was thinking FAT, but for some reason my brain that morning said MBR.....yes, you are correct

Just comes to show how much tfp is full of nerds (not geeks), how do discussions about sextapes and accidental nudity go hand in hand with master boot records and File Allocation Tables????

That my friends, can only be achieved here.

Call me a bad person also because I would have watched it.

I just bought a 16GB SDHC card for only $34!!

Fuck yeah.

Wait..what were we talking about?

Oh yeah, I do computer stuff on the side, and it turned out one of the customer I helped had been in a porn movie a long time ago. I didn't recognize him because the porn movie was pretty old and he didn't look like he did back then. The best part was that I had JO'd to him in that porn way before I ever met him. Awwwwkward.

And sold it on to the highest bidder.

:thumbsup:

Xerxys: Frankly, I had well considered that. 2 factors in play, first one is that it makes a better story leaving that out. ;-) and second: Since it was my judgment call, and I wasn't offended, nor was my employee, ( who had seen none, or claimed to have seen none of the other ) it didn't make sense to cause a career issue for a good employee. I would honestly have deleted her personal folder without even looking, had she spoken up and advised that it was personal, and she'd rather it just be deleted. I presume that not knowing me, or the ethics of the IT group at our office, she may well have felt like this was not the case.

Besides, I don't have a whole lot of cool stories to share, and I certainly cannot share that one with most of my friends, as many are co-workers. So I tell it like that if I get a chance. It's more... Penthouse Forum. *grins*

Honesly I would have watched it to some extent atleast. But I will definitely shift+delete it. And I am pretty sure watching that will NOT change anything between me and the friend.

So I am neigther good nor bad, just little dirty!

As far as watching this or not is concerned, I can definitely understand the impulse to watch it. That makes sense to me, and I'm not a male. But on the other hand I don't know that I would given the person is a friend and so on. It would have to depend on the relationship because I have some friends who I would watch and some who I wouldn't.

And as most IT/tech people will tell you, it's pretty common to find some sort of personal information when working on someone else's computer. People just aren't good at hiding stuff like that, or they don't care.