Cumming too soon...for a girl
 

The other night, my boyfriend and I were having sex and I was on top. I was going at a furious pace.. just right.. when I felt too close to climax and had to stop for a second.. then I went again.. this kept happening... and eventually he got out of the mood because I kept stopping. This doesn't happen to me unless I'm on top and that totally sucks because while on top.. I want to feel somewhat in control and if I can't control how soon I get my orgasms then I feel out of control. Me and him usually cum at the same time.

So, my question to you is.. how, while on top, do I control my orgasm long enough to make sure that either him and I cum at the same time or he cums before me? Should I just go ahead and climax before him and just keep going? I can have multiple orgasms.. but I feel that if I'm "in control" then it'd be seen as selfish for me to cum before him.. two or three times.

Dude, go multiple. There's nothing selfish about going off a few times before your boyfriend catches up. Remember, most gentlemen are only up for one or two pops.

I love it when I've gotten a nice lady off a few dozen times before I get the Willravel tingle.

"the willravel tingle" how awesome is that terminology? :thumbsup:

Yeah, they're thinking about making it into a ride at Disneyland.

Your concern is fairness? Really?

The orgasm ratio around my house is WAY not 1:1, and I like it that way. Multi-orgasmic girls are awesome.

I wonder how she feels about reparations for slavery... :expressionless:
To be fair, you're outnumbered, but I'd still be surprised to read in the Unofficial Ratbastid's Unabridged Diary and Cookbook that the ratio was even 2:1.

^Also, in general, a guy would prefer to go after a girl so he can be sure. If you are trying to get him to cum first, things may deflate before you can...

---------- Post added at 06:36 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:35 PM ----------

^and if you come first, fast, all the better. Takes the pressure off... so to speak.

Honey. You're built that way. Get 'em.

Actually... why is this an issue? Seriously?

I guess I'm just not used to being on top... and really.. nobody else has this kind of issue?? >_< sux

if thats an issue, kiddo.... you got no issues.

Honestly the fastest way for me to cum is feeling the girl cum. It's hands down the sexiest thing that can happen in the bedroom, seeing her face, feeling her clamp down on me in orgasm, there's no faster way for me to cum.

ABSOLUTELY CORRECT!

If she hasn't cum at least twice before I'm done, I owe her one. Quit with the selfishness crap, and enjoy yourself! Trust me, no guy is going to complain about you cumming too much!

Eh when I'm with a girl I *expect* her to cum multiple times...or I'm not doing my job.

This was a brag wasn't it? Like a dude posting

"I'm too big and too good in bed .. What do I do?"

I wouldn't say he was bragging, he is just considerate.
I enjoy knowing that the woman can have multiple orgasms before I am ready. By all means enjoy it "ametc", why hold back?

Both you and the OP need to pretend to be humble.

Seriously.

...

Also: Climax quota = juvenile.

Amen.

Hallelujah! The Father, and the Son, and the Grow-The-Fuck-Up. Now and forever.

...

Yeah, I get so sick of the game people play in the bedroom with orgasms. Like it's an account balance, some notch on a bedpost contest, maybe crotch wampum. People can get so uncomfortable with sex acts because they physical process doesn't fit with social niceties 100% of the time.

Examples:

A: Asshole who "gets his" and rolls over for post-coitus, don't-touch-me nap. Quota? They don't know how to spell quota.

B: Bitchy fucks-like-a-dead-fish woman who complains about not "getting hers" when she doesn't offer instruction via demonstration, feedback, or altering moan volume. She's keeping track of all the times she "puts out" and doesn't get "paid up."

C: Cowering idiot who masturbates before sex, slams his dick in a car door to numb it up, or continues pumping feverishly after orgasm to appease some sense What's Right For His Woman. Sex is a chore. Words like "failure" come into play.

Point: Sorry, ladies... if biology had wanted you to come on time, every time... you woulda been built different. Perhaps your anatomy was designed to make climax require effort for a reason? That's biology for ya. But if you're equipped such that you come when a cool breeze blows by your thighs? Quit complaining, quit questioning, quit keeping track and enjoy it fully. Your partner will be thrilled that you're a freak... that good kind of freak.

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Orgasm quota rant:

Fuck all that jive, people. See, I had this really nice horny girlfriend once who literally couldn't get off from intercourse (oral sex did her in quick, though). Ever. And boy did we try. Positions, toys, lube, no lube, gentle, rough, alternative love canal, hot, cold, mayo, mustard... you name it. I mean, I stuffed things in there that they don't even have porno titles for yet. And no luck. Both of us were frustrated but came to accept it. She said it was fine... she came from oral like "a frog in a sock" and that she enjoyed intercourse simply because of how it felt, climax aside. She enjoyed pleasing me and did a great job of it. Whew, her hot pocket coulda turned Kingsford into a princess cut. But yeah, intercourse: she liked the journey, even if she never got to the destination.

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Disclaimer: This has been a general rant, since I haven't actually had sex since around the time that Kurt Cobain decided to suck-start a 20 gauge. Turns out I've got game with the ladies like Michael Jordan has baseball skills. I disavow any knowledge of Crompsin Coitus between June 2001 and May 2010.

A frog? That's kinky.

Also: If I had a penis, I'd refer to it as "Thrognak the Destroyer."

Hmm... I was with a girl not too long ago that used to scream-n-clench in like five minutes from the cowgirl position. She felt inadequate about her quick orgasm because it takes me a while.

...

How do these two statements--as far as philosophy--fit together in the same paragraph?

Well, exactly. That's the whole issue with the OP.

as long as the quota is >0 / >0 ratio, it's all good.

Yes dear. Men like it when you cum several times. In fact, it makes our male ego that much larger. So please, cum lots. He'll walk away happy.

Making a woman orgasm makes you feel like James Bond.

Unless she's average looking, obese, or a high school dropout. :thumbsup:

Oh, I don't know. I think maybe even then.

I shudder to think that someone might be all 3 but still worthy of some lovin.:eek:

I know, right? Tell that to MI-6 and their seduction training. When was the last time a Bond girl was named Heather or Rachel or Jane?

No... no, it's always Pussy Galore or Anita Ramming or something vulgar. Like maybe a porn star was there to help with the birth certificate.

*still chuckling at the phrase "crotch wampum"*

Orgasms are gifts. Take it, smile widely and thank the giver. Don't worry, they aren't running out of them. You'll make more.

And simultaneous orgasm is a concept that should not get in the way of enjoying a good romp. If you can do it, go for it. But don't waste perfectly good orgasms on the journey. I actually prefer watching my partner cum and I can't do that if I'm clenching and bucking.

I wouldn't know. I failed philosophy.

How did you do in ethics?

I'm usually not on top... so I'm still 'learning'. When I'm the one in charge, usually I'm giving him a bj.. and not the 69 way so I'm not used to being in charge and climaxing before him. When he's on top, it all just comes naturally and so easily.

But, I guess y'all don't mind if your girl cums before you while she's on top.. and my guy is pretty normal .. I guess.... so I'll just try doing it like you guys have said and if it doesn't work.. I'll just come back here and complain. :P

You know--and this might be a shocking concept for you--you could always try talking to him about it.

I always find it really strange when people are HAVING sex but not TALKING about sex.

I often wonder why people put so many limitations and expectations on sex.

Why worry about climax ratios? Why think it's your "job" to make a woman climax? We aren't robots that are supposed to make sure one gets off before the other or to hold back because we think we weren't good enough. Sex is about enjoying the other person and enjoying the sensations.

From my experiences, as long as you are having fun and enjoying yourself, the climaxes will take care of themselves naturally.. quit putting all the mental games into it and it will be alot more enjoyable.

Having a sports car and a pistol and a license to kill, makes me feel like James Bond. Making a woman orgasm makes me feel like Johnny Depp as Don Juan DeMarco.

:p

Whatever works for you. :thumbsup:

Waking up in the morning makes me feel like James Bond.

Waking up in the morning makes me feel like Leonard Shelby.

...

If I had a hat-drop orgasm girlfriend... I'd be all-lewd-all-the-time-Bob. I'd abuse the hell outta that. It'd be all "When Harry Met Sally" whenever I could spare the thrusting.

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This thread is useless without orgasm noises / tuxedo pictures.

Plus one!

My wife is multiorgasmic, & the more orgasms she has the better I feel :thumbsup:. We even joke about the number of orgasms that she "owes" me.

No, what this thread needs is this iconic guitar riff...


...for when Will makes a comment like this...

And especially for when he makes a comment like this...

:thumbsup:

Think he remembers where the clitoris is?

He can't make new memories, but I'm guessing he went on plenty of crotch safaris before the accident.

Not bragging, cuz I don't think it's me, but my wife cums in about 30 seconds, as often as she wants. She can cum from nipple play. I've got an easy job.

Aren't we missing this crucial bit here? It's not about her having orgasms. It's that the frequency and power of her orgasms are disrupting his flow.

No recommendations from me, but I thought I might redirect the conversation.

That's not how I understood that. I understood her to mean that she was stopping herself from coming by pausing at her work, and those pauses threw him off his game.

:thumbsup:

If you can have multiples, you should have them.

Orgasms are like Lays potato chips...you can't have just one! If you do want to cum at the same time, just keep an eye out for the signs that he's getting close and try and time it right for your last O. My success rate is not 100% with this, but I blame that on the fact that my guy is super-quiet and not at all obvious about when he's close.

And I'm sure there's lots of comedy gold in this thread, but I haven't read it yet :p

Ametc is it the frequency of the orgasm that's causing you problems or the fact that you find it difficult to keep going on top after a particularly intense orgasm?

If it's the first one - don't worry keep going, get yourself off and let him enjoy the little spasms you'll be having - from what I have heard they're quite pleasant.

If it's the second you can try to hold off with any of the numbing gels supplied for guys (unfortunately that will only work if it's clitoral stimulation causing the orgasm) they work the exact same way as the sensitizing ones ( gels and sprays are better then creams to avoid getting it on him) and you're definitely able to use them allowing for allergies and stuff like that. Or you can simply shift position, I'm sure he won't mind - infact he might enjoy watching you get off and then ebing allowed to take charge.

Getting back to the topic and moving away from the patting ourselves on the back for our sexual prowess...

ametc: have you triedanother position to start and move to you on top once he starts getting close?

And really, what difference does it make who orgasms first? If you can have multiple orgasms in the process, go for it! Being inside of a woman as she orgasms is a great sensation and he will probably enjoy it even more if you do orgasm multiple times.

What goes on down there while I'm on top and I'm feeling myself about to come.. I feel like I'll explode and have an awesome one.. then of course I'll have to slow down (I would have to slow down and then get a good pace again).. and would THAT be better than just slowing down even more without cumming?

I pretty much know when he's about to cum by how he feels inside me.. so I'm able to time and work my movements .. until.. I feel myself about to cum uncontrollably. What should I do at that moment???


Does that make better sense?

How about practicing the classic dismount slide down between his legs/total oral engulfment while looking at his face and his cock in turns/remounting with a real rumba stern stirring? When you time it so that the smooth dismount is shortly before your own point of no return, and after hothot deep throat action your remount/rejoining occurs when he is 10 seconds from liftoff, both of you ought to be thoroughly pleased. Just the practice, "getting it down smooth" :thumbsup: is a joy to witness/experience. When it becomes the way to achieve mutual O that would be even better.
IMHO

amtec, you do not have a problem. What you should do is ask him if he would mind you having multiple orgasms while riding him. I'm willing to bet my paycheck that the answer would be a resounding "hell no."

You said you can have multiple? Why not time your SECOND one with his? Watching you seems like it would be pretty exciting even if you lose your rhythm for a little while. He really shouldn't mind you taking a little break before starting again as long as he gets his, and honestly, if he has a problem with waiting a minute before you're back up to speed, then he's being pretty selfish.

Most women think it's pretty cool to have a man who comes twice in one session, even with a pause in between, so I don't see why a man would feel differently, especially since you're on top and he can just watch and enjoy.

Tell you what - let him know next time that you're going to go ahead and cum and then resume sexing him (so he stays still and doesn't ruin your groove) and then go for it. See if you both like it. If not, you can try something else - experimenting is fun!

If you just go for it, I can almost guarantee it'll be awesome.

When you orgasm it's going to feel great for him, so the more you do, the better it is for him!

Plus there's a mental "oh yeah!!" he'll get, probably boosting his self esteem massively :p

haha, srsly. The ratio in my relationship is literally 10:1. My GF will orgasm within 15-30 seconds of my going down on her, and will continue climaxing every 2 minutes or so. Penetration, she climaxes every 3-5 minutes. If I'm using my fingers on her clit, I can keep her cumming (multiple/back to back) for a good 3-4 minutes, or until she can't take it anymore.

I on the other hand, cum once a "session". lol :shakehead: