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Old 02-28-2009, 08:41 AM   #1 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Problem staying hard

I was with my girl last night, and for the first time we were getting down and dirty. Whenever we're laying together watching a movie, I'm hard as hell. But as soon as she starts trying to please me, either by kissing my chest or trying to give me head, I lose it. I get really nervous, and it's a combination of different things. Past experiences didn't go well, I feel like blowjobs are degrading to women, and there's just this general anxiety of trusting the other person.

It really bothers me because the more I thought about it, the worse it got. We had to stop before anything happened. She was understanding and didn't judge me for it, but I feel like I'm half a man for not being able to let her please me. She wants to do it, and I want to experience that with her.

Do you have any recommendations? I know that we need to just go slow and try it, and I know I also need to stop thinking so much. But is there anything else you'd recommend?
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Old 02-28-2009, 10:40 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Here's a few general tips for sexual wellness..

1) get in shape
2) eat generally nutritious foods
3) please her first
4) try again
5) learn to relax
6) suggest things that turn you on
7) try not to get discouraged
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Old 02-28-2009, 11:20 AM   #3 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Thank you.
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Old 02-28-2009, 03:01 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dalnet22 View Post
It really bothers me because the more I thought about it, the worse it got.
That's the key - right there.
Try relaxing, and just let it happen.

Why do you consider blowjobs to be degrading to women?
Please tell me you've gotten some sexual education from sources other than Gagged and Throated Meat Holes!!??

Trust me, most women enjoy giving head as part of pleasing their partner, as long as the favor is returned (and take your time doing so).

Tell each other what makes you feel good, and each experience will get better.
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Old 02-28-2009, 07:12 PM   #5 (permalink)
MSD
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dalnet22 View Post
I was with my girl last night, and for the first time we were getting down and dirty.
Found your problem.
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Old 02-28-2009, 07:35 PM   #6 (permalink)
Tilted
 
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Location: New Jersey
dalnet22, you are not alone in your anxiety and feelings. Listen to "yournamehere", that kind of advice was a wake-up call for me a while ago, things are a lot better now.
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Old 03-01-2009, 12:10 AM   #7 (permalink)
Psycho
 
I enjoy giving head to my man. It doesn't feel degrading at all. If she goes down without complaining, then she must want to do it.

I met a guy who was very anxious about sex and I loosened him up a little with alcohol and that was that. He was fine after getting a little buzzed.
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Old 03-01-2009, 08:06 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Location: Back in Ohio
Too much alcohol isn't good however.

And check your blood pressure. Anything over 140/90 causes minor problems staying hard with me. Cut back on sodium if that is the case.
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Old 03-01-2009, 08:02 PM   #9 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Update:

My girl was patient with me, and we first started with me going down on her and also having sex. She was careful with me when giving me head, and it went well enough. I think things will be fine.

Thanks!
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Old 03-02-2009, 03:30 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Location: Ohio
i agree with HALX but your problem is stop masterbating and you'll be fine...
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Old 03-02-2009, 03:10 PM   #11 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by parafoil View Post
i agree with HALX but your problem is stop masterbating and you'll be fine...
Actually, I hadn't masturbated in 3 weeks. It was mainly due to nerves and whatnot.
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Old 03-02-2009, 03:13 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dalnet22 View Post
Actually, I hadn't masturbated in 3 weeks. It was mainly due to nerves and whatnot.
Whoa. I guess that's the flip-side to the "don't masturbate too much" advice. Anyway, glad things worked out.
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