Limerence
 

I've been mainly a lurker around here for a long time and don't post very much, but this topic has interested me for a while and I wanna hear your opinion and experience on this

"Limerence refers to an involuntary cognitive and emotional state of intense romantic desire for another person. The term was coined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov to describe the ultimate, near-obsessional form of romantic love." - Wikipedia

Even it apparently is statistically more common for women, I seem to have a tendency towards this, meaning I tend to fall completely insanely in love with some girl to the point of being obsessed and it interfering with my overall happiness.
To give you guys an example:
I've been in love with this girl basically since last December. (We met at a party, hooked up a week later, making out, never had sex with her) We were kind of but never officially dating for a couple of month. (She left College in May and I'm here till May 09, if its of interest I'm 25 and she's 22)
Consciously I was fully aware of the fact that she was walking all over me and stringing me along, but it basically was like watching an accident happen, being unable to do anything about it.

What are your experiences with this phenomenon and especially how do you make yourself snap out of it?

sorry for the threadjack, but first of all, "hooked up" means you had sex with her. Secondly, you were "kind of" dating for a few months (!!)? what? you didn't know whether you were or not? Does kind of dating mean you carried her books to class, or you hung out in front of her dorm, writing hopeless love poetry and wishing she would give you the time of day.

end threadjack.

Most have been there and done that.

Recognize when it's a mere obsession brought on by hormones and chemistry versus when it is love, which entails a real relationship where two people effectively communicate and share themselves completely.

When it's the first, know it will end, or end it before it gets nasty and painful, depending what each of you is looking for.

When it's the latter, hold on tight.

well, I would say we were dating, she said we weren't
We were fooling around whenever we got together, she occasionally gave me a BJ, but everytime it got close to us having sex she said she wasnt ready. We slept in the same bed multiple occasions.
So it was far more than me carrying her books or hanging out in front of her dorm (didn't I say I was 25 and not a freshman in highschool? :rolleyes: Even though I do go to College for Music and I guess we as a group are known to write hopeless love poetry)

I am aware that most people have been there, I just recently learned that it had an actual phsychological name and realized that I find a pattern of that behavior in my life

I currently am dealing with this, madly in love with some chick named Laura (look at my blog) I met and spent two days with and will probably never see again, but I can´t stop thinking of her and how happy I would be with her. You got waaaay farther with your girl than I got with mine. We once ate lunch together at the same table.

Thanks, now I know what is wrong with me (seriously, I´m not being sarcastic).

How do I deal with it and snap out of it? Alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, alcohol, writing.

Happened to me every time I fell in love.

Luckily one of those guys decided my obsession was a good thing for him.

We dated 4 years, lived together for two, and were married in June.

Let's just say I know this feeling, I have a sincere yearning for a certain girl at work who I cannot, no wait, will not, engage for anything but fear of rejection, I'd rather have it in my head!! Plus, I like the feeling, it keeps me going to work!!!