soma

My dad and I had a conversation about STDs and it really freaked me out. I've been seeing this girl for about a week now and we'll probably sleep together pretty soon. I lost my virginity this past summer and haven't given STDs a thought, but now I'm all paranoid. What's the best way to protect myself from getting an STD while still being able to enjoy the pleasures of sex? What does everyone here do to stay safe?

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Having Girl Problems?

Cynthetiq

dental dams and condoms.

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KirStang

Wear a condom. Get Tested. I've had a lot of scares....but I've also taken risks I shouldn't have. Eitherway, be careful and good luck.

Supple Cow

Well, sad to say that there are things you can get even with condoms as long as your skin touches down there, and women often run into other non-STD issues down there from having "safe" sex, like UTIs and yeast infections. I'm not exactly an advocate for abstinence only education, but there truly is no 100% safe (from STD) sex unless you are both new to sex (including oral and other kinds of sexual physical contact). I don't think that health educators stress than nearly enough. That said, the decision to have sex is something you two should make together, but that you should also each consider on your own. What IF you got something from this girl? How would you feel? It all depends on the level of risk you are comfortable accepting, and if you're having sex, that level of risk is never zero.

But Cyn also makes a good point - condoms and dental dams go a long way in protecting you when you take the plunge.

__________________
"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
(Michael Jordan)

soma

Thanks for all of the advice so far. I've been reading a lot and it seems like, yeah, the fluids getting on your skin can be bad. Has anyone here done something like taken a shower right after having sex and scrubbing the hell out of the areas that might have your partners fluids on?

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Having Girl Problems?

abaya

No matter what, as long as you are having sex, you are going to be at risk (again, unless both of you are virgins, no contact with others, etc). It doesn't mean you are going to die from getting something like HPV, which something like 80% of sexually active women have (mostly because men are carriers and there is no test for males, other than if they have an outbreak)... but the risk is always, always there.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Xerxys

Really?? I didnt know that!! Theres no test for men?? And you can get it even while using protection???

telekinetic

Although showers are a good idea for cleanliness reasons, they will not prevent STD's, regardless of how vigorously you scrub.

My advice is go forth with condoms, dental dams, and the knowledge you're rolling the dice.

curiousbear

also watch out with whom you can and with whom cannot afford to risk...

World's King

I can't think of a single good joke for this thread. Fuck.


[EDIT]


Got it.



"Stay away from Willravel."

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

james t kirk

There's a lot of misinformation on this thread.

First off, there's no such thing as "Safe Sex", there's only "Safer Sex". Condoms are good for preventing spreading of syphilis, Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, HIV, etc.

Condoms are marginal at preventing herpes and HPV.

As to using Dental Dams, well, if it's that bad, better just forget having sex at all. But whle you're at it, you'd better not walk down the street - you might get run over by a car, or attacked by wolves (it could happen!)

As to HPV - warts, as stated 80% of the population carries the virus. I don't know who said there is no test for men. If there is wart on your penis - that's HPV. Yes, you can still carry it with no outward signs - but this applies to both men and women.

I would suggest that you read the facts in this site:

Hassle Free Clinic: Site map

Hassle Free is the STD clinic of choice in Toronto for STD testing and treatments. It's in the heart of the Gay Village and caters to everyone. Given that Toronto has the second highest gay population in North America (next to San Francisco), they've seen it all.

ASU2003

That's funny.

I'm an example of the person abaya is talking about. I've had no contact with anyone in any form.

abaya

Women get tested for HPV at every annual exam--that's part of the reason we have the whole pap smear thing, regardless of whether we exhibit outward signs or not. Do men have something similar? Last I heard, the only evidence for HPV in men is when they break out. Otherwise, there is no way to tell if a man is carrying it. And yes, xerxes, you can most definitely get it while using protection. Any skin-to-skin contact in the genital area can transmit it. Basically, you'd need to have a condom that had a massive base that covered your entire genital area to be "protected" from it... but of course, those aren't really available.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

cadre

The only way to completely avoid STDs is to not have sex. Same thing with pregnancies, all you can do is understand the risk you're taking and do what you can to protect yourself.

Needless to say accidents happen, and if you don't have medical insurance it can get expensive. I'm due for a set of tests and it looks like it's gonna cost me at least 80 dollars just to get the basic tests.

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My life is one of those 'you had to be there' jokes.

Martian

The horse is bloated and stiff, but I'll get my hits in anyway.

STDs and pregnancies are the two reasons that sex is a Big Deal. The act itself is a lot of fun, but there's no choir of angels from on high. The consequences can be a major bringdown, but so long as you're safe the risk is minimal.

I'd be a hypocrite if I told you not to have sex, and I think that's kind of stupid anyway. Everything you do in life can be boiled down to risk management. Know the risks. Understand the risks. Proceed with caution. Do your thing.

World's King, I'm disappointed that it took you nearly an hour to come up with that. You're slipping.

__________________
I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said

- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

MSD

I cleanse my penis with the holy flame while reciting the ancient incantations that prevent and cure disease, then meditate inside a ring of candles under the full moon and let the sacred music drive the evil spirits out of my body.

Oh, and it can't hurt to use condoms, either.

james t kirk

Everything you wanted to know about HPV...

What is HPV? HPV FAQs - theHPVtest.com



Everything you wanted to know about HPV in men..

FAQs for Men - theHPVtest.com

Jozrael

I'd just like to say Xerxes' avatar seemed a perfect expression for his question. I was lol'ing.

abaya

And indeed, it confirmed everything I said. Including this part:

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

telekinetic

TADA!

World's King

No. It took me an hour to decide if I wanted to use willravel or you.

__________________
heavy is the head that wears the crown

Anormalguy

LMAO!

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In a society where the individual is not free to pursue the truth...there is neither progress, stability nor security.--Edward R. Murrow

Makedde

Use condoms, first and foremost. Not only will they protect you from STD's, they'll also keep those little swimmers from making their way to her womb.

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Sun flames and moons glow, timeless the tides will flow, what will I face, what will be mine, fortune and fate the other side...

little_tippler

Ok, the test that some women get every year for HPV only tests for a small area of the genitals, which is near the cervical area. It's also not a test for HPV exactly, it's a test for any abnormally developing cells. So it's not a guarantee. That being said, having HPV is not as terrible as that because 80% of the population do carry it. From the day you start having sex it's highly likely you've exchanged HPV strains with sexual partners, though the ones you have to be wary of are strains 16 and 18 (associated with cervical cancer). Less agressive strains tend to show up mainly externally (if at all) and can cause maybe a handful of warts that can just be lasered or frozen off. Usually with these strains you can have symptoms once and then never again, though the virus will still be present in your body. There are plenty of viral infections that people exchange all through their lives but don't ever have symptoms of. It's actually quite a normal part of life.

The STD's people should be most scared of are HIV, of course, because there is no bullet-proof cure for it, and those that affect fertility or any other function of your body irreversibly, IMO. Most others are treatable, though of course it sucks to get any. For most sexually active women, STD related ailments such as UTI's are a regular part of life.

__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

Xerxys

...........ok, so, that avatar will go away as soon as I get something suitable for my mood, .................

abaya

Thanks tippler. I did go through this myself... I had HPV (or still have it, who knows--though I've had 2 years straight of clear paps, finally). That's why I've been posting all this stuff. Even though HPV is becoming normalized, I still think it can present serious dangers in terms of cervical cancer, and it should not be shrugged off or minimized. I had intimate contact with 2 people prior to my husband, and I got HPV from one of those 2. I sincerely regret being intimately involved with both of those people, because of that fact. I think it is seriously unfair to women that there is no real HPV test for men.Hold up... UTI's are not always related to STD's. They happen when bacteria from the anus gets mixed up in the urethral track, which can happen with any kind of sex (or just wiping the wrong direction). That's why it's so important to pee within 10 minutes of having sexual intercourse, to get the bacteria out of the urethra. Women with STD's already might have an increased level of UTI's, but UTI's in themselves are not always caused by STD's. Urinary tract infection (UTI): Causes - MayoClinic.com

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Caracala

Ouch, ouch, ouch to that grater up there!! Haha!