How to tell your parents you want to get a sex toy?
 

Alright, well I'm now 18. Never been sexually active, so it's really hard with holding those urges. I use my fingers, but it's just a lot of work for me. Now I just want to tell my mom upfront, because I don't want her to one day find the toy and then thinking I'm doing something behind her back. The thing is she doesn't seem like a sexual person. She has never talked to me about sex, I was the one who had to find out pretty much all the information. Sometimes I make like sexual jokes, just to see how she reacts. She seems to deny or sometimes telling me not to say those things. Another example is when I started using tampons she told me not to use them because I was a virgin. Which made me kind of release she was old fashion kind type of mom, so I bet if I get a toy she will tell me the same thing. Can someone just give me some advice?

Why is it any of her business? You're 18. If you want one... find a local porn shop and buy one.

I'm all for open and honest communication... but I've learned that I just can't talk to my mom about sex, or anything sex-related. She doesn't know I have a toy... and she'll never know, unless she goes rifling through my drawers.

Yeah, that would not be a conversation I'd ever have with my mother.
I'd rather explain after the fact.
Sorry for the lack of advice, but I'd never go there premptively.

Why on Earth would you put yourself or your mother in that situation?! Do you want to make her feel uncomfortable and cause problems? Im a mother, and Im telling you you cant have a sex toy until your mature enough for one.


Now, grow up and run to the local shop for your toy. Get me one too.

Stockroom.com NSFW


Check it out...

Yeah...Just buy it. Don't subject your mother to the knowledge her daughter is going to be stimulating herself to orgasm regularly with some rubber dick made in china.

If you tell her first, make sure to film the conversation and post it here.

I make it a point to have a strategic popcorn reserve handy in my house for just these kind of movies.

If she finds it, the insinuation would be that you have no privacy in your room. I sure hope I'm wrong. :eek:

If that is the case, the two of you need to talk and lay ground rules. Once my children hit puberty, they're entitled to privacy and I would never go through their personal drawers. They do their own laundry, make their own beds and clean their rooms. I have no reason to doubt them so I respect their privacy. I knock on the door and wait for a response before I'll even open their doors. They respect me, I respect them.

At 18, your mom should respect your privacy for sure.

I'm not sure why you're asking if that's not it. Unless you want her to buy it for you? :p In that case, get a job. :D

For god's sake, at least buy silicone!!

If I were you, I would do mail-order or something discreet (assuming she doesn't get nosy about your mail?)... goodvibes.com has excellent stuff, as does babeland.com (and they have fantastic shops in San Fran, Seattle, Boston, and NYC, maybe others that I don't know of yet). If you can go into a shop on your own, even better. I highly recommend the female-owned ones that I just listed. :thumbsup: Absolutely nothing creepy about them at all, and very helpful, respectful employees.

I lock my door for privacy. But sometimes she is just noisy, she goes into my room to clean my room. I keep telling her to stop doing that, she hasn't done it so much. But sometimes she goes into my room to use like every day products (lotions, perfume, shampoos, etc.). I'm kind of afraid she might find it. The only way I can think is to buy a metal box with a lock, just in case. If I buy it online, and the package is deliver to her she might ask me what it is. She always wants to know what I buy, which is also annoying.

Let's see. Do you have a suit jacket or old robe with big pockets that you keep towards the back of your closet? That's one that she probably wouldn't touch. Make sure some old thing is on the other side of it. Or maybe a jewelry box that she wouldn't touch? Be creative. I'm thinking the lockbox might arouse suspicion. She may think you're hiding something illegal.

Good luck. :)

I'm sure she'd just as soon not hear about this at all, but in the end I'll bet she's glad you didn't go find a fuck toy with a guy attached to the other end of it......

Buy and leave it on your dresser in plain sight.

This way you aren't hiding anything. Then if she asks about it tell her it's your sex toy.

Barring that, put it in your sock drawer. If she finds it it is up to her to ask you about it and explain why she was snooping in your room. If she is offended by your sex drive ask her if she would prefer it if instead you brought home young men or women to help you out. That way you wouldn't have to use a silicone friend.

errr my first reaction to the question heading the OP is why would you want to tell your parents that anyway? :oogle:

I think you shouldn't tell her. It's private and none of her business. If you put it away somewhere that is private to you, she has no business rummaging around there. If she does, well it's her problem, she was nosy. You don't owe her an explanation about it, you're 18.

I would try to buy it myself at that age, not online, because I'd want to avoid letting her know. It really is not a conversation I'd like to have with my mom, even now. *cringe*

Knowing your mom's type, dont talk to her about it. Locker is not a good idea.

You dont have any huge soft toys inside which you could hide it?

I dont know about how these toys function. Cant they be placid and turn hard & big when triggered? In that case you can always carry it with you. In purse or pocket!

Why dont mom's gift it on thier daughter's 18th birthday...

I got quite a chuckle out of this. But the sock drawer is good advice. Don't tell her about it before you get it. Get it, keep it in the sock drawer, and follow Charlatan's advice when she gets caught snooping. Either that, or she'll be too embarrassed to mention it.

Threads like this make me glad I have the mom I have.

This is not a conversation to be had with a mother. At least, not my mother. My mother could not even understand why my SO and I needed a larger blanket when I began sleeping at his house every weekend. She'd have a heart attack if I told her about a sex toy. I hid my birth control pills from her for years.

and from the other point of view, of being a mother, there is no need for my daughter to tell me she is getting one. It is a private matter, one that I do not need to be involved in. If I happen across one in her room (when she is older - she is only 11 now), I'd dust around it and go on my way. Then again, she better be cleaning her own room at that age. Unless your mother does not trust you, there should be no need for her to be going through your things.

Just get one and hide it.

Dammit, beat me to it.

I would definitely put it where she could find it, just to fuck with her...maybe place it where it'd fall on her head if she opened or moved something. *insert evil giggle*

Nice to see you snuck in in 2007 as a kid....:D Now you're considered an adult-mom doesn't need to know your business.

Put it in a small gift box in your drawer. If your mother finds it, smile and say

"Happy Birthday!" or "Happy Anniversary!" or "Merry Christmas!" whatever holiday is the closest.

That's what I did when my mom found the pair of edible panties that I bought.

You can stop laughing now. That wasn't a joke.

buy her one as a joke. that way you get to test the waters so to speak!

dont talk to your mother about this. she's not the birds and bees type woman, and shes dreading the day that u ask her about sex.

since you are legally 18 now, id like to officially wlecome you to TFP!

You can always buy a dildo cozy like this cute little cthulhu one:

http://www.warrenellis.com/pfile/cthdil.jpg

or this flying spaghetti monster:

http://www.boingboing.net/images/fsm05.jpg

Hell, you can knit one yourself. Mom would never have to know and you can leave it out in plain sight.

Goodness! That IS kinky. Maybe just don't get behind your mom to do these things.

scenario:
Mum: oh whats this. thats so adorable and cute. whats it supposed to be?

You: its a gift. a friend gave it to me and said that it has magical powers than can bring a woman to her knees

Mum: wow, (mum playing with the fluffy wooly noodles), i should get one myself. i wish your dad would buy me things like that

This reminds me of back when my mom would ask why I took such long showers.

Don't tell your mom. Hide your toy very well, so that your mom would only find it if she was seriously going through your stuff.

some bedposts have hollow cores. make sure you dont come home one day and you find she's re-arranged your entire bedroom for a spingclean.

Don't they sell toys that don't look like sex toys? Have you tried veggies hair brush handles or other objects yet? Or are you going for the clitoris vibrator style? Those can be smaller and hidden better.

I hope you don't scream too loudly the first time you use it. I think it would be more embarrassing to get caught while using it than even if she found it hiding someplace.

(and don't hide it in old clothes, my Mom was notorious for cleaning out old clothes and getting rid of them while everyone was out of the house so no one would complain and say something had to stay.)
My suggestion would be to get a book that would fit in with other books on a bookshelf (if you have books). Cut out the inside of pages to make space to put this in there. Use some glue on the inside to hold it together, and put some velcro on the cover. Put some padding inside so it doesn't rattle around and feels like a book.

Go for the German ones - the Germans make some great toys

I wouldn't discuss it with your mother, my Mum sounds a bit like yours and even now with me in my 20's and living out of home I got a big scolding the other day because Mum found a dvd called Pornwars in my and the SO's dvd collection.

Just go down to the local sex store, be nice to the guy/girl behind the counter. If you are worried about him knowing any details about you go check out their website before hand decide what you want (or simply do multiple visits to the actual store) and pay in cash, that way they don't get any of your banking details.

Hiding places - personall my collection is just the bottom drawer of my bedside cabinet - wehn I was with my folks it was in a shoebox hidden under my sexy underwear. My mother couldn't handle the fact that I wore "those useless bits of lace" under my clothes - and well Mothers should not rifle their daughters underwear :p

The soft-toy idea is good. I would stay away from the cozies though - simply cause if she picks it up depending on the size and / or shape she might be able to feel that it's not just a stand (especially if you go for something with an attached clitoral stimulator), and if your mother is used to being able to borrow your things the book idea won't work if it's in anything she might want to read (maybe a 2nd hand text book on a subject you're interested in though?). You can also put it in a pair of thick socks (make sure to clean and wrap it in something plastic first so fluff from the socks doesn't stick to it)

Few tips for the first time sex toy user though

• if it is not going to be used within the next 24 hours take out the batteries - they will go flat and could leak causing dmg to the toy
• If it doesn't work - as in won't vibrate or move and is more then a simple dildo. TAKE IT BACK! Don't be embarassed, get what you have paid for - attached to this keep your receipt and all packaging til you know it works
• Clean your dildo often and well. Most stores sell toy cleaner but if it doesn't contain electrics (once again plain silicone dildo) you can boil them
• Discuss any allergies with your salesperson. Most places have different substances that the toys are made of, if you have problems with a type of metal or plastic let them know so they don't suggest a toy made out of that substance
• Consider buying a lubricant with your toy, maybe not an issue with everyone and generally isn't with me but sometimes no matter how turned on your are your natural lubricant just isn't enough. I advise something silicone based, if you do buy this buy some hand wipes as water will just spread the silicone around make everything MORE slippery

If I think of anymore tips for you to think about on your shopping spree I'll add them later.

Happy Hunting!

Some pretty good advice.

Though I am male and when I was 18 (sigh), there were NO male sex toys (not there are really any now), but there was Penthouse. Actually, let me change that age......When I was 12, there was Penthouse, Gallery, Oui, Mayfair, etc. I needed that Porn dammit. But I wasn't stupid. The question was where to hide it where Ma wouldn't find it. (She was nosy.)

Under the mattress was too obvious. Closet, same thing. Drawers, too easy.

Ah wait, the drawers pull out. and there are actually floors in each of the slots for the drawers. Bingo, instant hiding spots for 6 porn mags.

Bottom line - you don't need to tell your mom. Just find a really good hiding place.

Years from now you will laugh about this.

You read my mind. Especially the part about the sex toy or bringing people home.

I said something similar to this to my mom when she frowns that I watch porn. I asked her, "do you want me to watch or do you want me to do?" in a semi-joking way. She didn't know how to respond, hahaha.

After reading the subject line, my first thought was, "You don't." Unlike, "Mom, I need birth control," I don't see why your parents need to know that you are masturbating with toys. (I know one chick who felt the need to tell her parents she was masturbating - I don't get that either.) This could just be because of the type of family I grew up in. My parents didn't want to know if you were having sex, and the whole Birds and the Bees speech was made of up, "Good sex might last you an hour (but I doubt it), but a baby is a pain forever."

After reading the whole post, I still think, "you don't." Seems like that type of conversation might make your mother very uncomfortable. Maybe just put it in a box with a note "Please don't open" on it.

Get her used to yu having a loackable storage FIRST.

A small file box that you can put your papers and certificates in and then put your dildo collection in it later.

If she thinks a virgin shouldn't use tampons there is NO WAY IN HELL she is going to understand you needing a sex toy.

I had porn magazines in my bedroom since I was 15 and never asked my parents for permission, you know...

Unless you are getting a really large toy and need your mom as a cosigner for the loan, I would NOT tell her. No reason to. As far as hiding spots, there are some good suggestions already, If she's unbelievably snoopy, then you need to have a talk, and also be more creative.

I never told my mom...i'm not sure I would either! That just seems wierd. I'm okay with having open communication...but some things are just best kept private! Ask an older friend to go with you to get one. And find a good hiding place!

That's hilarious. I have no need to hide my sex toys, but I think I really want the flying spaghetti one!!:thumbsup:

velvet, we had a discussion about toys a little while back in the ladies lounge. It's down the hall to the right. Follow the giggling sounds. Knock three times quickly, three times slowly, then three times quickly.

I can imagine the conversation...
Willravel @ 17 years old: "Hey dad, would you mind if I used your credit card for something? I'll pay you right back in cash."
Dad: "What do you want to buy?"
Willravel: "A sybian."
Dad: "What's that?"
Willravel: "It's kinda like a riding saddle, only for women."
Dad: "What do you need it for?"
Willravel: "My girlfriend's birthday is a month off and I think she might like it."
Dad: "Hold on..." *googles sybian*
Dad: "WHAT THE F**K? GO TO YOUR ROOM! Oh, is your mother home?"
Willravel: "WHAT THE F**K?! YOU'RE GROSS!"

But seriously, this has the potential to be an awkward conversation, depending on your parents. If you're so inclined, purchase a smaller vibrator. I would imagine they're easier to hide.

If you're looking for a good hiding spot, try putting it inside your computer tower. It's relatively easy to access, and no mom ever snoops in there. I used to hide sensitive documents inside my TV and weed in my stereo.

You can also put it in a bag and stuff it behind the air vent cover.

I don't see that sort of conversation going as well as you planned. If your mom doesn't want you to put a tampon in there, she is definately not going to appreciate masturbation.