Radio Monk33

Well when my gf and I are being intimate, we get into it. And there is lots of touching and she'll play with my package so to speak. But as soon as I make any move to touch her in the general ass or genetal region, she seems to be uncomfortable with it and will take my hands to a new area. I just find it odd that she doesn't mind being touched anywhere else, and will play with my genitals, but seems so uncomfortable about me returning the favour.

Ah well, I guess its none of my business, I just enjoy it when she touches me and I think that she would too. "Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you."

So do you think I should straight up ask her if she feels uncomfortable or maybe just see what happens? Is there anything I can do about this?

Ah well, I'm glad to get it off my chest at least. Thanks.

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insidious_machinae

Find a way to get her off other than anything down there, and while she's on her high, show her how good it can feel. She'll never go back once she's been enlightened.

RoloTomassy

I'd ask her. I'm completely comfortable to say anything with my current gf. We're best friends, and talking and asking questions makes EVERYTHING so much better. If you don't feel comfortable coming straight out with it, just be patient. She could just be nervous. Just wait a bit, then try again later. If you still don't have any luck, then come out and ask her.

Dorkums642

i agree with Rolo: just ask her! Communication is what seems to fuck up so many relationships. If she can't handle talking about sex and how she feels about it then maybe the two of you aren't really ready to be fooling with each other.

If she's got weird puritan/jesus issues then you may have trouble getting anywhere with her. Also, she may have been mistreated in some way at some point (whether she realizes it or not) and may not feel comfortable having someone feel her nether regions.

Oh, i just thought that she might be uncomfortable with her body. She might think she smells or is freaked out about getting wet. Girls are weird sometimes (so are boys).

I doubt this is the case but make sure you aren't being to rough. Just take it easy. Caress her body, give her kisses all over, talk to her. Girls like that stuff

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I've never come across this in real life, but then I went to a small liberal arts college so that probably didn't help.

Meridae'n

Just be careful about how you ask her...

I've encountered this before and found it just took a little patience, attention, and some subtle assurring compliments.

How long have you been with her and, ah, trying?

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ratbastid

Another possibility.... Not to freak you out, but...

She may has a history of sexual abuse or assault that you don't know about. That can leave lingering "triggers", certain sensations or body regions that are "out of bounds" and, mentally, take the victim back to the incident of abuse. While you intend to be causing pleasure for her, you're actually causing feelings of being out of control, being trapped, etc.

By all means talk to her about it, just be prepared for ANYTHING she might say.

lurkette

Um, it strikes me that if you are interested in having an intimate relationship (not just intimate relations) with this woman, it is very much your business!

She may be inexperienced and uncomfortable, she may have some experiences or "programming" in her past that makes her ashamed of her own genitals, may think she smells funny, may just not like to be touched there. The only way to find out, as others have suggested, is to ask! It doesn't have to be a big deal - just "I noticed that you do this...is anything wrong?"

In fact, it's generally just a good idea to ask your partner what she likes and doesn't like. Much easier than guessing and making assumptions based on little information.

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j_lonty

Talk -- talk talk talk. I know sex is often a taboo subject, and lots of folk like to 'let passion lead them' or somesuch, but that's often bullshit. I'd say, have a nice dinner together in the right setting, let things get very cuddly, romantic, possibly verging on something more, but keep the conversation going, guide it towards talking about sex, and then ask her what she wants - not just "Hey, can I put my hand down your pants?" but something more along the lines of "So, what really gets you going?" or somesuch - try and have an open and honest conversation about sex. About why you like it, how you like it, and more. Having open sexual communication within a relationship can lead to so many wonderful things.

Another tack which I've found some tentative women like is to let them set the pace entirely. When things get to the point where normally you'd dive south, ask them "What do you want?" or somesuch - if you do it in the right way at the right time, it can both be incredibly sexy, and really put them in the driver's seat.

Part of the fun of a relationship is figuring out all of your partner's hotspots - sometimes this is through your own exploration, sometimes they have to tell you, but once you know them, that's when things will really take off.

Radio Monk33

Thanks for all the responses guys.

Some interesting thoughts, perhaps you guys are right.

For the record, we've just hit the 2 month mark of the relationship. This is my first, so I'm not really sure how these things work, so I really appreciate the advice.

Yeah, I'd assume I was just going too fast, but she put her hands down my pants first, so I assumed she'd be open to that sort of thing.

I think I'll wait another week or two, and then see if I can bring it up subtlely and see if there's a problem..

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"Punk rock had this cool, political personal message. It was a bit more cerebral than just stupid cock rock, you know"
-Kurt Cobain

MSD

Explain to her that you enjoy it very much when she does it to you, and you want to return the favor. Ask if there's something you're doing wrong (even though the answer will be no) and ask if there's anything that you could do to make her more comfortable. Don't ask her while you're fooling around, ask at another time.

Slims

Ask her what's up. If you can't talk to each other, then you probably need to break up anyway.

You guys sound inexperienced. If she is new to heavy petting, then it's normal for her to be a little reluctant.

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mew

Radio: I know exactly what your girlfriend is feeling...well I think..lol. When I had my first bf and when we were being intimate..i loved touching him and exploring everything the male body had to offer..but when it came to me..the farthest I'd let him go was the upper torso. He tried to touch me down there and explore, but I was and still am self-conciouse about my genital area..Its emberassing and you dont know how theyre going to react..Perhaps he saw better, what if he thinks its disgusting or weird, does it smell nasty? what if he laughs?. Just because males get selfconsciouse about their package doesnt mean women dont feel the same about their..privates. I have a new bf now and Ive gotten past a lot of other barriers that were there, but I still feel very uncomfortable about being looked at and Especially uh...ahem..given oral?

What I did to get past the uncomfy zone was to slowly let him make his way down..like let him pet my tummy and lick, ect..going a little farther each time we play. But once I started feeling uncomfortable id tell him and hed stop...

So what I suggest (if your intrested) is to talk to your gf (if she feels the same way i did/do)and ask if you can help her by slowly making her feel comforatble about being touched/kissed/whatever around her areas..each time. Tell her that if she thinks that that is far enough..you can stop. And this is very important..once she moves you away or says no.Stop. Trust is everything, and if you cant stop when she asks, shes gonna be reluctant to let you go further..and your taking more steps back than forward. Also, tell her things that will make her feel less selfconciouse, like youll think shes beautiful no matter what..or something/anything that will make her appreciate herself. But be honest and truthful...And telling her Why you like/love her is even better.
All in all...be Truthful, Honest, Open , and Patient...and Enjoy eachother..cause well..thats really what you guys are intrested in, right? Good luck hun and I hope it works out.!

boredjerk

It's a man?

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teknophile

Alright your gonna need someone like a crooked doctor ... now you need to ask for these things called roofies ...

j/k

daoist

did she ever let you touch her genitals? if you were rough or anything like that, it could be that she'd rather you do other things to turn her on. it's unlikely, but like everything that's been said above; just talk to her.

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yatzr

how long have you been trying? maybe she's on her period...that happened to me when i tried to put my hand down her pants, only she didn't tell me that was the reason...i just figured she wasn't ready yet. So then i tried 2 weeks later and she really got into it.

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GoldenOuroboros

Talk Talk Commune.. seems to be the general idea Me and my girl are talking alot more and the result ALOT MORE FUN! hehe If it's her first time maybe she's having comfort issues, such as what Mew said.. and possibiltiy of abuse : /

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