soma

I've been dating this girl for a few weeks and we had sex yesterday. Or at least we tried to. I just froze up and it was damn near impossible for me to get wood and it was frustrating as hell. When I'm on my own, it's never a problem, but yesterday I was just not feeling it. We're going to give it another go today and I want to make damn sure things are better this time. I didn't masturbate this morning, so hopefully I'll be more horny, but still ... I need more tips to make sure things are better this time.

Any help would be great.

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spectre

Okay, just relax. You're already putting way too much pressure on yourself by saying:
Just relax. If you're still feeling pressured, then just put the focus on her. Keep going with the foreplay and just relax.

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canuckguy

Good luck mate! Let us know how round 2 goes.

Don't put so much pressure on yourself! Explain to her your nervous, tell her how hot she is and that you want it to be spectacular and that is causing the issue. I bet she is aware that sex is usually not that good until you do it a couple of times and get into each others movements.

good luck!

Willravel

It's not a big deal. It's just something really fun and intimate to do with someone you like. Remind yourself that there really isn't any pressure at all.

Would there be pressure if you were going to the best amusement park on Earth? I doubt it.

Bear Cub

I think part of the problem is you're scheduling your attempts at sex in like its written in stone.

Having sex shouldn't be like going to work. Go out on a nice date, do something fun and relaxing, and then just spend some time together from there. Sex is only difficult when you're thinking about it.

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KellyC

A blow job always wake my boy up no matter how "sleepy" he is.

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Tully Mars

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Glory's Sun

When it comes to sex, people think they have to be like robots.. making sure they last forever (men) and the woman gets off. Women have their own anxiety issues; from my experiences it's mostly aesthetic, but it's anxiety either way you cut it.

so .. how can you get over it? Don't try to be a robot. Sex is about having a good time and just letting go and enjoying the ride. Get out of your (other) head and just let things flow. If she doesn't get off or you cream fast.. big fucking deal. That just means you get to practice more

Also.. make sure you communicate to your chick. It's ok to let her know you're nervous.. but here's a key.. don't apologize if you don't think you were good. It's pretty much a turn-off. Focus on the positives and go for rounds 3,4,5,6....

Redlemon

So, Soma.... did you get any last night?

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Shauk

you have to be over your ex

soma

Let me update you guys.

We gave it another go yesterday and it was better, but not great. I wasn't able to get the raging hard on like I do when I masturbate, but again, it was better than the other day. I guess this is just going to take time.

She gave me a blowjob (my first) and it was pretty horrible. She was sucking really hard, and she was lightly scraping her teeth on my head, and going to town on my pee hole with her tongue (like trying to stick her tongue into it or something). Later that day, it slightly burned when I peed. Each time my dick went back in her mouth, it was excruciating, but it just seems like bad logic to tell a girl to stop putting your dick in her mouth, you know? Eventually I told her to go easy and it was a better.

Overall, not so great, but we seem to have enough non-physical chemistry (she's pretty cool to hang out with) that this whole sex thing isn't a big deal. Oh, I probably should have mentioned that she's my first so things are all kind of weird for me. She doesn't know that, and probably thinks I'm just terrible in bed. heh heh.

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Having Girl Problems?

abaya

Wait, am I reading this right? The OP was about you losing your virginity?

Then SERIOUSLY you need to chill out, man. And there's nothing wrong with telling a girl that she's your first... I married the last man who told me that, y'know. I thought it was the most amazing thing that he was able to be so open and humble with me, and it spoke volumes about his personality. So don't be afraid to be honest with her, or otherwise the communication barrier is just going to keep getting bigger over time.

Also, if your dick hurts, TELL HER TO STOP!!! I know it was your first BJ and everything, but come on, man. It's your body. You have to tell her what feels good and what doesn't. You don't have to shout it at her... just ask her gently to stop doing that, or to do something else that feels better. It almost sounds like she might have caused you to get a urinary tract infection, if it hurts for you to urinate.

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