opentocomments

What kind of an effect would it have on you or your partner if you used cooking oil as a form of lubricant, I know this sounds silly but I figure there have to be at least a few home remedies defeat our old enemy friction. Imput is always appreciated.

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Daniel_

NEVER USE OIL AS A LUBE IF YOU EVER INTEND TO USE LATEX CONDOMS

Oil destroys latex in a very VERY short time - blow a condom up like a baloon and spritz it with baby oil - it will generally burst in a few minutes.

It's not possible to wash all traces of oil out of the vagina (the anus does get flushed out with fecal transit, but it still takes ages - you've not indicated if you are male or female, or the gender of your partner, so forgive my not being clear), so you have a very high chance that you will suffer contraceptive failure.

Olive Oil can feed and protect bacteria, and therefore can lead to BV etc.

Olive oil's not cheap, use the money to buy a condom friendly lube.

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╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
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Nisses

*gets flashbacks to threads with people using heated butter and resulting burns*

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Moderation should be moderately moderated.

Daniel_

You do realise that's NOT what your woman wanted when she asked you to "butter her muffin" right?

__________________

╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

MSD

Olive oil degrades in hot, non-sterile environments and becomes rancid. You don't want to deal with rancid cooter, do you?

The_Jazz

Or a rancid pooper.

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Sage

I used olive oil for my first anal experience. While it *worked* in the most basic sense of the word (defeated friction,) it was about a 3 on the effectiveness scale (going from one to ten.)

The best lube I've found for anal play is O'My which is all natural, water based, and is the closest thing to natural lube I've come across.

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levite

Obviously, one should never, ever use an oil-based lubricant with condoms, since any oil degrades latex almost instantly.

However, I have, in the past, occasionally used olive oil as a lube for handjobs and for anal-- in situations where I am with a partner with whom no condom is necessary-- and have never had a problem with it: works well, and in the case of HJs, makes for an easy transition to BJs. When I've used it as lube for anal, I've always suggested the girl wash thoroughly afterward, and use the shower spray to spritz a good spray up the butt, which generally gets most of that oil (and jizz) out of there pretty completely and quickly.

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Whose soul is sense, cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
That thing which elemented it.

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World's King

Are you Italian?

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ironman

"What Should I Know About Using Olive Oil As Lube?"
Only that it's a bad, bad idea.

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snowy

That was my thought when I saw the thread title, lol.

The vagina is a beautiful place, but it's also full of flora that require a delicate balance to be maintained in order to keep the flora in check. Therefore, adding outside things such as olive oil is generally not a good idea. A proviso about water-based lubes: some contain glycerin, and yeasties like glycerin--women who are prone to yeast infections should think twice about using a lube with glycerin.

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The_Jazz

I'm waiting for Crompsin to wander in with a comment about vinegar douches, olive oil lube and salad dressing.

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Willravel

1 vagina olive oil
3 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 yellow onion, minced
1 tsp. brown sugar
2 Tbs oregano
1 tsp ground red pepper
1/4 tsp. thyme
1 tsp basil
1 Tbs pasrlet
1/4 tsp kosher salt

Saute garlic and onions in olive oil until caramelized, add other ingredients.

opentocomments

I have a bottle of the ky tingling sensations massage oil/personal lubracant. I was just curious as to why you couldn't use a natural lube like cooking oil or perhaps motor oil. Would motor oil be a better alternative to cooking oil?

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Willravel

I'd suggest using the stuff that's meant to go in there. You don't want engine sludge, after all.

filtherton

I think extra virgin oil is more prone to affecting the taste of the dish, so you should keep that in mind.

cadre

No motor oil! I don't even want to think of the aftermath of that.

Use the real stuff, it works better every time. That is after all, what it's designed for.

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ratbastid

Although then you have to deal with the pressure of being the oil's first...

Are we actually talking about this? GO BUY SOME REAL LUBE!

mandy

Answer to your question...

you shouldn't.

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Punk.of.Ages

Olive oil and saran wrap....

They are just laying around the house after all.

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The_Jazz

I know a guy that claimed to have had anal sex using shampoo as lubricant. He's got a great sense of humor, so it may just be a joke, but the story includes details of a frothy bunghole and a slightly brown soap bubble floating gently through the air.

Perhaps this will turn into The Thread of Inappropriate Lubricants.

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"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

opentocomments

Mostly i started this thread as a psuedo-joke, personally i wouldn't dare using anything like that for lube but a male friend of mine did make an offhand comment about having used vegetable oil for masturbation and i figured it could stimulate some conversation in the forum.

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Punk.of.Ages

I used shampoo to masturbate once....

Horrible idea. It dried the skin on my penis out and made it flaky.

I thought I caught a disease or something.

Another horrible masturbation story:

The lotion I used had some kind of chemical in it that burned my penis. It was all red and crunchy and it hurt bad.

I don't know what the chemical was though, so I don't know what to watch out for.

Be careful out there guys.

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"Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike

blahblah454

What you should know... you can make a nice salad right on the cooch after sex with olive oil. Just remember to bring some bread to soak up the excess oil that does not land on the leaves....

Motor oil? I haven't laughed that hard in a while.

snoeker

Dang! beat me to the extra virgin comment

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Makia

Heh. That sounds very similar to a story I heard once--only difference was (as far as I know, anyway) it wasn't anal and it was the guy's friends who came up with the jokes about suds and imitating the sound it would make.

lotsofmagnets

at least with the motor oil you know it would be able to deal with lots of friction and high temperatures. i think 20w-50 would be ideal as lower grades like 10w-20 or 0w-20 are rated too low temperature wise and you may have trouble "starting your car" in the "morning." also, don´t forget to change the "filter" every 2nd time you change the oil :P

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mother nature made the aeroplane, and the submarine sandwich, with the steady hands and dead eye of a remarkable sculptor.
she shed her mountain turning training wheels, for the convenience of the moving sidewalk, that delivers the magnetic monkey children through the mouth of impossible calendar clock, into the devil's manhole cauldron.
physics of a bicycle, isn't it remarkable?

mixedmedia

My SO uses baby oil for masturbation, but I made it plain right from the get go that it wasn't going to work for intercourse. If your girl is at all prone to yeast infections she will get an infection from using an oil-based lubricant even once. Why risk it when there are so many decent lubricants on the shelves these days?

Go get a little bottle of Astroglide. It costs about the same as a bottle of olive oil, will last longer and give you a better experience.

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ngdawg

No need for bread....if she has a yeast infection....



/me runs

willynilly

Huh, My wife and I are working on having a baby, and the obgyn recommended not using lubes because they might interfere. Her advice, saliva or vegetable oil. So take that all you smartypants!

mixedmedia

I'll take it, huh.

But still nobody's getting any vegetable oil, or any other oil near the lady, nuh-uh.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

Punk.of.Ages

/me gags

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"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager

"Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike

blahblah454

Wow, this is a classic thread in the making.

Just use saliva, it works wonders and it won't mess up the delicate balance that is the lady flower.

Redlemon

Sounds like bad advice to me. I've seen information that saliva is also a potential sperm-killer, and the information on vegetable oil above should be sufficient.

However, I've heard of Pre-Seed Sperm-Friendly Intimate Moisturizer, which might suit your purposes better.

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MSD

First of all, I want you to know that you're all disgusting. That's why I love this place.
Motor oil is a lot more than just oil. If she has enough sludge in there that you need the commercial additives, it's time to find a new girlfriend.
Every story I've heard about shampoo-penis contact with friction involved ended with a description of how disgusting it is to peel dead skin off of the penis.

edit: scroll down two posts, and there it is

amfl98

Lol, now you tell me! Once I used a bit of my wifes lotion, but it turned out it was the kind that heated up after you rubbed it in. I was a bit hot and bothered for a day or two.

World's Queen

I threw up in my mouth a little when I read that.

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Cynthetiq

A lot can be gleaned from Ol' TuckerMax and buttsex....

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lotsofmagnets

4 shades of hilarious yet deeply disturbing....

__________________
mother nature made the aeroplane, and the submarine sandwich, with the steady hands and dead eye of a remarkable sculptor.
she shed her mountain turning training wheels, for the convenience of the moving sidewalk, that delivers the magnetic monkey children through the mouth of impossible calendar clock, into the devil's manhole cauldron.
physics of a bicycle, isn't it remarkable?

Tophat665

I keep buying the Extra virgin olive oil, but they keep telling me they don't have any virgins to give away with the bottle. I guess they don't have any extra virgins in an case.

/ try the veal

That doesn't make any sense. Why use Shampoo when you have real poo right there?

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