Shauk

Stumbled across this in some guys signature on another forum



I had to laugh cuz there is a little bit of truth to that.

My guess would be maybe it has more to do with feeling degraded or taking more trust to let your partner do that with you. To stretch the piercinsg analogy, I wouldn't let just anyone pierce me.

Hrm, hrm... stuff to think about I spose.

abaya

Hmph, I haven't done ANY of those things that the guy said that "women do" in his signature... but I do love me some anal sex, lemme tell ya! And it DOESN'T hurt, if it's done right.

But then again, ktspktsp and I have a pretty rockin' relationship, and I think that has a lot to do with my/our attitude towards anal. I would have never let any of my previous boyfriends anywhere near my ass (or any other orifice, come to think of it), honestly.

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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Plan9

Uhm... you've been hanging out with the wrong kind of women, bro.

I'd rather have a lady who enjoys the former and avoids tacky body mods and surgical aspects of the latter.

It suggests someone who's less superficial and more in touch with their body.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

SecretMethod70

You're doing it wrong.

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Le temps détruit tout

"Musicians are the carriers and communicators of spirit in the most immediate sense." - Kurt Elling

mixedmedia

I haven't noticed a preponderance of babes around here who refuse to indulge in anal sex.

Sometimes you gotta learn to play to your audience.

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james t kirk

In my experience it's about 50 50 as to whether or not a woman will surrender the marble peach.

I've met women who LOVE anal, I've met women who won't even consider it. The worst are the ones who tell you that they are into it but when push comes to shove (pun intended) they shut the door.

As far as the humiliation angle (anal, facials, GS, CIM, BDSM, etc) sex is sometimes served best when it's degrading and humiliating (and yes that applies to men as well). The trick is to realize that it's all just fun and games and then go for it.

allaboutmusic

Women put up with the pain in those other things (tattoing, waxing etc) because it is an uncomfortable means to an end that they deem worth the suffering. I'd guess that most women of the women you refer to simply don't believe they'd get anything worthwhile out of anal sex.

Plan9

By the way, I absolutely love it when a voice of authority shares with me this simple pearl of wisdom.

I can't wait to impart such knowledge when I am of significant learnedness.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

ruggerp11

You just have to find the right woman. Then anything is open to being tried.

"Honey, close your arm... I'm going for the armpit"
-_- ...*shrug* "ok"

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Do What makes you happy
--Me
BUT!
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jewels

Nah. It's all about the man. If he knows what it takes to get her going, she'll not only trust him, but natural lube will do the job, pain-free, and she'll be open to just about anything.

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abaya

Well, I agree, but I think it's even moreso all about the relationship itself... do you trust each other? Do you like to try new things? Do you have any fears of the other person doing something to hurt you, even accidentally?

But I also know that sometimes, anatomically, it doesn't always work. Usually this is where ShaniFaye would come in and tell us that while she's open to pretty much everything, anal just doesn't feel good for her, and she's tried it. In those cases, it's not the people involved, it's just their particular anatomy, I think. But I think that is fairly rare... usually it's a psychological or emotional problem between the two people involved.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

jewels

I was actually agreeing with your earlier post What I meant when I said
"If he knows what it takes to get her going, she'll not only trust him ..."

I meant to infer that it takes trust (both ways) to achieve the kind of intimacy to know what it takes. We all have the same "parts" but we all respond and operate just a little bit differently

Boiled down: I totally agree with you.

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We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain

ShaniFaye

why is it such a big deal if it hurts some of us? The pain of all the stuff mentioned in the OP is NOTHING compared to the pain of anal sex for me, and lord knows I've tried it many times with many people and followed all the "steps" for doing it right....it hurts me...end of story

just like there are some guys that enjoy anal stuff and some that dont

why the hell should I waste my pleasure time with something that is painful to the point of making me cry?

lol I didnt see this until after I replied....and you're right....I enjoy LITTLE toys and fingers, but dicks banging in and out of my ass fucking hurts....a LOT

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

abaya

ShaniFaye... that was perfect timing, lol.

Let me also add (as I have added to many other threads about "Why don't women do anal?") that, at least for me, I became a LOT more open and willing to try anal, once the man in question was willing to receive anal as well. Gotta be able to take your own medicine, you know? Not to mention it builds up an unspeakable amount of trust and intimacy when both people are vulnerable to trying something new, instead of one person urging the other person to do something.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

ShaniFaye

lol well we all know Dave loves being "done", that doesn't seem to affect my pain level though hehehe

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

Plan9

Say, is that any good?

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

ShaniFaye

not as good as the back of the knee

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

Toaster126

Him knowing what it takes to get her going isn't his job. It's hers.

...and if you are naturally lubing in your asshole, YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.

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"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

Plan9

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Shauk

Yeah and to think, I just wanted to share a signature that made me giggle at work. pssh.

Plan9

Hey, it made me giggle, too.

And you know how silly my giggles are...

Tee-hee-hee.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

ruggerp11

Yes, especially if shes laying on it, making it reallly tight haha

__________________
Patriotism means being loyal to your country all the time and to its government when it deserves it.
--Mark Twain
Do What makes you happy
--Me
BUT!
"Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness" - Chuang-Tzu

Plan9

Oh, it's on. Thank you, buddy... totally just made my day.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Toaster126

Silly me. I didn't think of rape.

__________________
"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

Jenna

Anal sex doesn't "help" us with our insecurities. I put help in quotations because obviously, body modifications don't always assist to women's self-esteems.

And, obviously, anal sex doesn't always hurt.

I don't think anal sex has to be degrading. I'm not quite sure if that's the right analysis. I love piercings and tattoos, if I had the money I'd have some plastic surgery done, and I still like to be degraded in bed. It's mostly because of my insecurities.

allaboutmusic

Also possible that women are worried about damage to their ass that may give them problems further down the road?

jewels

It goes hand in hand. If he's listening or paying attention to her, he knows.

If I was naturally lubing from my asshole, then I'd be truly freaky.

__________________
We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain

Sharon

Anal sex, done properly, doesn't hurt... but is so intense that you feel like it should.

Impetuous1

This is why I don't do anal sex. IIRC from my sex ed class, once those muscles are stretched out they don't "bounce back". Which can lead to "accidents". I have tried anal regardless and have found it to be very time consuming and painful. I also have not done any of those things mentioned in the original post, other than piercing when I was around five. But I've got to agree with abaya. If it weren't so uncomfortable, I'd be more willing to do it if the person I was doing it with also agrees to a little give and take.

Plan9

And what are you shoving up there that is any larger than that which normally exits?

...

Of course, all things in moderation.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

World's King

Anyone else wanna tie up Shauk and shove something in his ass?


You know... so he can answer is own question...

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

AngelaSI

It has a LOT to do with feeling degraded. If you have the slightest inclination to anal sex then that results in a very tight butt hole and then that makes a lot of pain. If you didn't find it degrading then you'll have a loose hole and enjoyment out of it.

allaboutmusic

I think you mean aversion, but your meaning is clear.

Plan9

He totally lied.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

ShaniFaye

I have to take issue with this....I dont find it degrading it all and I get no enjoyment out of it whatsoever...as previously stated.

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

Sharon

It doesn't make me feel degraded, but it does make me feel dominated - and I like that.

Ustwo

THIS

Anyways, I don't see what the big deal is, never have. There is one hole that its designed for, one its most definitely not.

I've always seen it as a dominance thing, and I don't feel the need to dominate women.

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Mantus

Some people just don't like it. Deal with it.

If it's that much of a fetish to a man then he should seek out partners who are into it. I wouldn't dare to date a girl who doesn't like being tied up and blindfolded and force my expectations on her. Such things are discussed before moving forward in the relationship and if major incompatibilities occur it's best to seek other partners.

jewels

Unless you're looking for one night stands, you're totally missing out.

I can't be the only female that at one time thought oral sex was nasty and would never have considered anal sex.

Women all have different histories and the right partnership can form a wonderfully intimate relationship that opens her mind to things she thought she'd never consider, much less enjoy.

__________________
We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain

Mantus

Absolutely true. As a man it's my job to fulfill a woman's sexual potential as well as my own. Yet it's not an absolute science and my advice should considered in that it may not be the man's lack of confidence/experience or the woman's emotional issues but she just may in fact not like it, period.