UKking

Would you pledge your virginity to your father?

Father Knows Best

Can you really expect a four-year old to stick with it when she reaches sexual maturity? I'm not really thinking the onset of puberty, but older when she decides she wants sex. Maybe she will wait until marriage, but what if she doesn't. Should she be made to feel guilty for breaking a vow that was made before she understood the concept of this kind of vow? Even 13 & 14 year olds may change their minds as their cognitive capabilities change. Save yourself for marriage if you want, but do it for yourself, not because someone has pressured you into it (of course that goes for the opposite way too).

I have nothing against girls choosing to make this decision for themselves, but having your father choose FOR YOU?!

noodle

It's a wee bit too Elektra for me. The process, I mean. I'm all for waiting if that's what you choose, but having your father be completely in charge could open up some really strange situations.

Of course, I'm a former therapist that counseled teenage girls with screwed up fathers more than anything else, so I'm biased. But it still gives me a bit of the creeps.

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Seaver

Honestly I'd never marry a woman who did this. Why you ask?

Not because I don't believe the girl would be that bad, but In-Laws are bad enough to deal with, we are constantly battling over even getting to see my brother for Thanksgiving or Christmas (last two years we haven't had either, and their house is less than 10 miles away).

Imagine how much this father-in-law would interfere and f*ck with your relationship if he had that much control of her. Does anyone honestly believe he'd just give up the reigns after marriage? I seriously doubt it.

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robot_parade

Yes, I can't *stand* these. To me, they're a perversion of the relationship between father and daughter. I would never, ever, ever ask or coerce my duaghter into 'pledging' to me or anyone else her purity.

Now, OTOH, I think she'd probably be better off if she 'waited', and I'll certainly tell her so when she's older (she's four now). But it's her choice.

I have the exact same opinion for the boys, btw. Where are the purity balls and pledges for the boys?

jewels

That's freaky.

As a mom who's currently got two young teen girls with me, I never would have allowed it, even if I was still married to their dad.

The father of my 24 year old had sworn, whilst she was still an infant, that he would chaperone our daughter until she married. I knew with positive maternal influence he'd be dropping that idea before she approached dating age.

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The_Jazz

I don't think I'm going to stick my head in this particular knothole again. I already did it once here:

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?t=115153

Have fun, though.

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PonyPotato

I actually saw a huge special on the Tyra Banks show (shut up, I was sick and bored at home all day) about these. It makes me uncomfortable to even think about, honestly. Just another way for fathers to have ultimate control over their daughters' lives and decisions, something that is pretty darn unhealthy over a long period of time.

Plan9

Purity balls, purity balls... there's a joke about a priests in here somewhere.

...

Yeah, uhm... crotch contracts? Bad idea. Too many expectations.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

snowy

I'll second this, and add: I'm not a fucking piece of property. This isn't the Middle Ages. This purity bullshit just enrages my inner feminist. How can fathers treat their daughters this way? When a father asks his daughter to engage in an agreement such as this, he is basically equating her worth to a tiny bit of tissue.

How fucked up is that?

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Willravel

Idiots.

"We never understood sex, so we're just going to take the whole thing away from you! Have a happy, angst filled adolescence until you get pregnant at 16 by the school bad boy who convinces you to get an abortion and you never speak to us again!"

pig

Big Deal! That little gyrating rotunda of purile flesh is bound to belong to a man of proper character one day. Why is it wrong for another man to hold it in good faith until the chalice is to be taken from the chapel, so to speak?

edit: I forgot some words.

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Plan9

Man-o-man, I can't wait until I have a little girl so I can treat her like some T&A party favor and only give her up to those I prefer instead of those that they choose.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

LoganSnake

Big thread about it here: http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...virginity+ball

EDIT: Didn't see Jazz's post.

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dlish

oh c'mon jazz.. u know u want to..

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james t kirk

I'm just imagining this as the first song of the ceremony as all the proud daddies wheel their little girls onto the dance floor.....




Sorry, I don't know how to post that into the body of the text as a video...

pig

james:

the tag is [ youtube ]ml7C-WfL8f8[ /youtube ]

without the spaces to get:

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Kaimi

The thought of my father controlling that aspect of my life is creepy as hell.

Ourcrazymodern?

The closest I came to this was giving each boy a nick-name.
Unfortunately, the sequence:
Tubesteak, based upon his name
Woody, based upon something I saw in the shower,
Too-old-to-be-a-son-in-law...

Unfortunately, each time we became fond of one, she traded him in for an older model.

Individual packaging gave her that right.

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genuinegirly

I attended a parade once where a woman was walking around with a clipboard filled with chastity agreements. Promise to yourself that you won't do anything with anyone before marriage... then handed each girl she spoke with a card to put in your wallet with a cute little poem, to remind you of what you signed.

I was 14... maybe? Can't remember. It didn't make any sense to me at that point. I didn't have a sex drive. I didn't know what sex was. Honest. I had been too shy to read that part of the biology textbook, or to listen during sex ed classes. I had no idea what a penis looked like. I knew my anatomy well enough to know what was happening with menstration, but I couldn't understand the rest of the puzzle. And my parents definitely didn't make any effort to discuss it.

Asking your daughter to sign a chastity agreement in the guise of a pretty prom-like ball is back-handed. They have no idea what they're signing. To give the parents involved some credit, it sounded like from the article that at least one of the parents just thought it was an excuse to spend time doing something nice with their child.

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Tophat665

I'm familiar with the concept, but it still sounds like a sex toy for repressed evangelical women.

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Plan9

Purity balls = anal beads?

I knew it.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

ItWasMe

I'm all for looking out for your children and teaching them to make informed, responsible decisions, but this is too much. If only parents would channel that energy into keeping their kids off drugs, out of gangs, and doing well in school instead.

This sounds like something a collector of rare stamps would do. Pledging to keep their possession in "mint" condition until they eventually transfer said possession to a new owner.

And those rings, ugh! Brands belong on cattle, not on little girls.

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Mantus

Ustwo

I rather doubt guys doing this have 'bad kids' as a rule.

So while I don't think its a great idea and seems kinda creepy, I don't think they do this and then little Jane is out toking up with her homies and sporting a D average.

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albania

When I first saw this thread title I imagined the worst. Some type of necrophilia involving the scrotum(scrota) of holy men. Somehow when compared to that the content seems disappointing.

I wonder if there's degrees of reward for semi-chastity, I mean for the thrifty father that isn't sure his daughter can make it: like letting her throw a party if she hasn't done more than 3 guys by the time she's 18; or a gift card at Macy's if she's sucked off less than 10 at the same age.

Seriously though, on some level I can see the motivation for it, but leaving aside the fact that it's so easy to make fun of the real problem is that no one in their right mind (in this here particular culture) would attempt to control their daughter in such a manner.

surferlove007

Man I was hoping I'd never have to do the birth control dialogue in front of my parents. Unfortunately that was not the case. And yes, I did make a commitment to the church when I was 13 to retain my virginity until marriage. I ended up giving the ring they gave me to the guy who took mine. No regrets.

I already ranted about this but I'll reiterate it because it bothered me so much.
I went to have my wisdom teeth removed and the lady sat me down with my dad and said there were a few routine questions...

I'm 19 years old mind you.

She asked me if I was on Birth Control in front of my dad and I grudgingly said yes. His response was well she's an adult. We both politely have ignored the issue. (My parents are very traditional) I should of said something right then and there. She kept asking one question over and over which really pissed me off. "Is it possible you could be pregnant?" Apparently they needed to know because it might be affected by the anesthesia. I might even call them up and say something I'm still oh so bothered.

telekinetic

I've got one better. When I was getting some blood work done with my mom on her health insurance, I told them I thought I should get tested since I'd just been with someone who wasn't fully monogamous (something she kind of already knew about). The only reason I even admitted that we'd had sex was that we'd had a pregnancy scare.

Anyways, so they draw blood, and the lady asks me "When did you last have unprotected sex? How many partners have you had?"

I was 19, and I'd broken up with the only girlfriend my parents knew I had four months earlier. The answers were 'two months' and 'six'. I've never seen my mom turn a more interesting color. She never spoke of it again.

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pig

I'd bet that Jane is toking up with her homies and sporting a D average at or around the statistical average for such behavior. Possibly slightly above. At least from what I saw in school...the kids with rigid authority figures in their lives were pretty likely to rebel during teen years. They might "reform" in their late 20's...but I saw a lot of them do some pretty fucked up things to get out from under mom and dad's thumb and prove to the MAN that they were individuals and all that shit.

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