WtF? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

newlyable · 12-07-2007, 08:31 PM

Ok so my husband and I decide to have sex, or daughter is a month old. This being the first time since she was born. Now he is always saying that I am not as out going as I once was. SO.. about 15mins into it I get my phone and turn the video camara on. He freaks out yells at me, pulls out and storms out of the room. He goes into the kitchen gets some water and lays down on the couch and FALLS ASLEEP!!! I am in complete shock...WTF!

MzNadia · 12-07-2007, 08:34 PM

Outgoing is one thing. Video taping what he feels inadequate or uncomfortable about is another.

I don't know what that is btw.

Have him make a suggestion.

Konichiwaneko · 12-07-2007, 08:55 PM

could be anxiety from both you guys having to wait 4~5 months.

LoganSnake · 12-07-2007, 08:59 PM

I think he might be able to give you a better answer than any of us can as to his behavior.

Could just have been be a bit unexpected for him. Especially after a month+ long haitus. Have you used video recording devices in the past?

Baraka_Guru · 12-07-2007, 09:00 PM

He likely is self-conscious about being recorded for whatever reason. Maybe it's self-image; maybe it's how he feels about it morally.

MSD · 12-07-2007, 09:23 PM

My idea of being outgoing is putting more energy into what I'm doing, not capturing incriminating evidence on tape.

albania · 12-07-2007, 09:39 PM

Maybe he thought you were trying to steal his soul.

ItWasMe · 12-07-2007, 09:47 PM

I don't know of any woman who was as "outgoing", about anything, when her baby was a month old. Especially the first time after having said baby.

Not a clue as to what was going through his head about the phone video. Maybe he thought you were making a phone call? Who knows. Ask him.

World's King · 12-07-2007, 10:03 PM

Did he let you videotape you two fucking before the child?

If not...

You have your answer and you need to go back to how sex was before you pushed out a child.

xepherys · 12-07-2007, 10:14 PM

newly,

First, get him off his high horse regarding your "outgoingness". You just had a frickin' baby! Your hormones are still far, FAR from level and there's bound to be an adjustment period of much more than a month. He has to play on your terms, not the other way around. After TotalMILF had our baby, we didn't have sex for uhm... well, it was a while. Our sex life was actually pretty bleh for a good long bit, but *shrug* That's just how it was. Now it's better than ever (when I'm home at least) and actually far more exciting in many ways.

Just talk to him and explain your needs and ask for him to be patient. As for his response to the camera... I have no clue.

TotalMILF · 12-07-2007, 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xepherys

After TotalMILF had our baby, we didn't have sex for uhm... well, it was a while.

It was less than four weeks, and I had a dozen stitches in my vagina!! Jeez, what do you want from me!?

Besides that, I agree with all that my better half said

Push-Pull · 12-08-2007, 03:38 AM

Been doing some research on my wife's low drive, and I keep coming across a LOT of stuff about how men will (subconciously) feel "left out" once baby is in the picture. My guess is that with all the attention towards the child, add in the forced abstinence, and he's feeling a little disconnected from you.

Next time the mood strikes, give him a sultry look, whisper in his ear, and let him know that he's still the man. In short, stroke his ego. I'd bet his whole "outgoing" argument disappears.

Seaver · 12-08-2007, 01:14 PM

Well, how many women would do something similar if their boyfriend pulled that on them without discussing it first?

Quite a few, so people lay off her man.

Do what Push-Pull mentioned, and next time discuss it before bringing something like that into the bedroom. Things like pictures and videos can get people in trouble, and I've known one friend who was planning to go into politics until his girlfriend posted a sex tape online without discussing it with him because she thought it was sexy. Now he's given up on that dream, and that girl, because of it.

jen71au · 12-08-2007, 02:24 PM

So you think he wants to be a politician?

Look he may just feel mighty uncomfortable about it, though I think it was very brave of you to try a new thing, especially only a month after having a bubs.

I agree with all others, if you want to try something new, discuss it first to make sure it is what you both want.

I am also thinking he may have thought you weren't into it and were making a call or sending a message.

(If you do talk to him about why, I would be interested in hearing his take on it)

biznatch · 12-09-2007, 01:33 AM

I realize that this event truly surprised you, and maybe even hurt you, but it made me laugh really hard.
On a more serious note however, things are often better in bed with less surprise and more talk and understanding.

newlyable · 12-09-2007, 08:00 PM

Ok so I asked him about it. He indeed thought I was making a phone call. He got embarrased of his actions after he found out my intentions. That's why he went and slept on the couch. However he was totally for it, and we captured it all on tape the following day. Thanks for the advice...

Baraka_Guru · 12-09-2007, 08:29 PM

Kpax · 12-09-2007, 11:18 PM

Hmm... I'm not Dr. Ruth but...

I'm not hung like a horse but a videotaping wouldn't bother me at all... If there is any guy that should be body-conscious it would be me, but for some reason the deed itself overrides any other apprehension.

Not sure about this!

xepherys · 12-10-2007, 09:42 AM

Kpax, it's just a matter of comfort. I'm average at best, and still felt comfortable with TotalMILF posting some pics of us together in Exhibition. *shrug* Looks like the OP got it all sorted out. Good for them!

dirtyrascal7 · 12-10-2007, 10:54 AM

Communication to the rescue again.

Good to hear things worked out... seems like one of those experiences that will become quite humorous looking back on it years later.

Willravel · 12-10-2007, 11:25 AM

I'd laugh if someone made a phone call while I was having relations with them.

Mantus · 12-10-2007, 11:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by willravel

I'd laugh if someone made a phone call while I was having relations with them.

hah, yah, and I'd keep doing it

Confederate · 12-10-2007, 08:03 PM

lol I was intimate with a Gf and she carried on a conversation while we were doing it, I was hurt and amused lol

MSD · 12-10-2007, 09:28 PM

At my friend Pablo's house, I once joked, "who here has called Pablo and had him answer while getting head?" seven out of nine people raised their hands. My friend Matt, his housemate, asked, "OK, who here has called Pablo and had him answer the phone while fucking?" and raised his hand. Pablo started cracking up, then the rest of us burst out laughing.

roobix · 12-10-2007, 10:56 PM

I agree with everyone who thinks you should talk about it.. even if he doesn't want to.. just take him aside for a moment.. and just say "I know you don't like to talk about these things.. but it would mean a lot to me if we could talk about this because i love you" there you go..

Talking is, in most cases, the best form if healing/fixing

TotalMILF · 12-13-2007, 10:15 PM

He thought you were making a phone call!? Bwahahaha! Sorry, that's just funny!

Glad you got your little misunderstanding all sorted out

Dtamr · 12-13-2007, 10:28 PM

I think it would be hot if my partner would carry on a conversation while we're having sex. I would just pull out and tease her just to gauge the reaction.

gentlesoul43 · 12-30-2007, 03:52 AM

Maybe he thought you were calling someone to complain. Once when I was having sex with the girl, the phone rings and she said "it's probably my boyfriend who's overseas". I asked if she wanted to take it and she said yes. It was pretty wierd for me to sit naked outside the room watching TV, and wondering whether or not I should put my clothes back on, or whether we'll be continuing our session.

We didn't continue because we were kinda done anyway (good timing!), we didn't talk about the phone call and we just watched TV after that. Wierd but exciting!

Kaimi · 12-30-2007, 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Konichiwaneko

could be anxiety from both you guys having to wait 4~5 months.

I don't know why you would have 4-5 month wait? You can definitely have sex throughout a healthy pregnancy, there is only a matter of a few weeks after birth that you must abstain.

jewels · 12-30-2007, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kaimi

I don't know why you would have 4-5 month wait? You can definitely have sex throughout a healthy pregnancy, there is only a matter of a few weeks after birth that you must abstain.

OP mentions that they had a 1 month old baby at the time of posting. I only hope that Konichawa hasn't had a baby recently. Even with a C-section, max "wait" time would usually be no more than 8 weeks.

Deltona Couple · 12-31-2007, 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newlyable

Ok so I asked him about it. He indeed thought I was making a phone call. He got embarrased of his actions after he found out my intentions. That's why he went and slept on the couch. However he was totally for it, and we captured it all on tape the following day. Thanks for the advice...

Um, Is it just me, or are there others thinking this video proof needs to be posted in another forum named "Tilted Exhibition"? hehehe

ItWasMe · 01-01-2008, 12:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by willravel

I'd laugh if someone made a phone call while I was having relations with them.

I didn't laugh when someone stopped to answer the damned phone. My reaction was very similar to that of the OP's husband. "Okay, bye bye. I've got grocery shopping to do."

Kaimi · 01-01-2008, 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ItWasMe

I didn't laugh when someone stopped to answer the damned phone. My reaction was very similar to that of the OP's husband. "Okay, bye bye. I've got grocery shopping to do."

Once I was dating a guy who had an obsessive ex-girlfriend. She called once during our activities. I happened to see the number come up as it rang. I grinned, and answered it for her to hear us in the heat of the moment(neither of us were known to be quiet lovers)... she stopped calling after that.

12-07-2007, 08:31 PM	#1 (permalink)
newlyable Upright	WtF? Ok so my husband and I decide to have sex, or daughter is a month old. This being the first time since she was born. Now he is always saying that I am not as out going as I once was. SO.. about 15mins into it I get my phone and turn the video camara on. He freaks out yells at me, pulls out and storms out of the room. He goes into the kitchen gets some water and lays down on the couch and FALLS ASLEEP!!! I am in complete shock...WTF!

12-07-2007, 08:55 PM	#3 (permalink)
Konichiwaneko The Dreaded Pixel Nazi Location: Inside my camera	could be anxiety from both you guys having to wait 4~5 months. __________________ Hesitate. Pull me in. Breath on breath. Skin on skin. Loving deep. Falling fast. All right here. Let this last. Here with our lips locked tight. Baby the time is right for us... to forget about us.

12-07-2007, 08:59 PM	#4 (permalink)
LoganSnake We work alone Location: Cake Town	I think he might be able to give you a better answer than any of us can as to his behavior. Could just have been be a bit unexpected for him. Especially after a month+ long haitus. Have you used video recording devices in the past? __________________ Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques

12-07-2007, 09:00 PM	#5 (permalink)
Baraka_Guru warrior bodhisattva Super Moderator Location: East-central Canada	He likely is self-conscious about being recorded for whatever reason. Maybe it's self-image; maybe it's how he feels about it morally. __________________ Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing? —Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön Humankind cannot bear very much reality. —From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

12-07-2007, 09:47 PM	#8 (permalink)
ItWasMe But You'll Never Prove It. Location: under your bed	I don't know of any woman who was as "outgoing", about anything, when her baby was a month old. Especially the first time after having said baby. Not a clue as to what was going through his head about the phone video. Maybe he thought you were making a phone call? Who knows. Ask him. __________________ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe

12-07-2007, 08:34 PM	#2 (permalink)
MzNadia Upright	Outgoing is one thing. Video taping what he feels inadequate or uncomfortable about is another. I don't know what that is btw. Have him make a suggestion.

12-07-2007, 09:23 PM	#6 (permalink)
MSD The sky calls to us ... Super Moderator Location: CT	My idea of being outgoing is putting more energy into what I'm doing, not capturing incriminating evidence on tape.

12-07-2007, 09:39 PM	#7 (permalink)
albania Psycho	Maybe he thought you were trying to steal his soul.

12-07-2007, 10:03 PM	#9 (permalink)
World's King Here Location: Denver City Denver	Did he let you videotape you two fucking before the child? If not... You have your answer and you need to go back to how sex was before you pushed out a child. __________________ heavy is the head that wears the crown

12-07-2007, 10:14 PM	#10 (permalink)
xepherys <3 TFP Location: 17TLH2445607250	newly, First, get him off his high horse regarding your "outgoingness". You just had a frickin' baby! Your hormones are still far, FAR from level and there's bound to be an adjustment period of much more than a month. He has to play on your terms, not the other way around. After TotalMILF had our baby, we didn't have sex for uhm... well, it was a while. Our sex life was actually pretty bleh for a good long bit, but shrug That's just how it was. Now it's better than ever (when I'm home at least) and actually far more exciting in many ways. Just talk to him and explain your needs and ask for him to be patient. As for his response to the camera... I have no clue. __________________ The prospect of achieving a peace agreement with the extremist group of MILF is almost impossible... -- Emmanuel Pinol, Governor of Cotobato My Homepage

12-08-2007, 03:38 AM	#12 (permalink)
Push-Pull I'll ask when I'm ready.... Location: Firmly in the middle....	Been doing some research on my wife's low drive, and I keep coming across a LOT of stuff about how men will (subconciously) feel "left out" once baby is in the picture. My guess is that with all the attention towards the child, add in the forced abstinence, and he's feeling a little disconnected from you. Next time the mood strikes, give him a sultry look, whisper in his ear, and let him know that he's still the man. In short, stroke his ego. I'd bet his whole "outgoing" argument disappears. __________________ "No laws, no matter how rigidly enforced, can protect a person from their own stupidity." -Me- "Some people are like Slinkies..... They are not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs." -Unknown- DAMMIT! -Jack Bauer-

12-08-2007, 01:14 PM	#13 (permalink)
Seaver Junkie Location: Fort Worth, TX	Well, how many women would do something similar if their boyfriend pulled that on them without discussing it first? Quite a few, so people lay off her man. Do what Push-Pull mentioned, and next time discuss it before bringing something like that into the bedroom. Things like pictures and videos can get people in trouble, and I've known one friend who was planning to go into politics until his girlfriend posted a sex tape online without discussing it with him because she thought it was sexy. Now he's given up on that dream, and that girl, because of it. __________________ "Smite the rocks with the rod of knowledge, and fountains of unstinted wealth will gush forth." - Ashbel Smith as he laid the first cornerstone of the University of Texas

12-08-2007, 02:24 PM	#14 (permalink)
jen71au Upright Location: Australia	So you think he wants to be a politician? Look he may just feel mighty uncomfortable about it, though I think it was very brave of you to try a new thing, especially only a month after having a bubs. I agree with all others, if you want to try something new, discuss it first to make sure it is what you both want. I am also thinking he may have thought you weren't into it and were making a call or sending a message. (If you do talk to him about why, I would be interested in hearing his take on it)

12-09-2007, 01:33 AM	#15 (permalink)
biznatch Junkie Location: France	I realize that this event truly surprised you, and maybe even hurt you, but it made me laugh really hard. On a more serious note however, things are often better in bed with less surprise and more talk and understanding. __________________ Check it out: The Open Source/Freeware/Gratis Software Thread

12-09-2007, 08:00 PM	#16 (permalink)
newlyable Upright	Ok so I asked him about it. He indeed thought I was making a phone call. He got embarrased of his actions after he found out my intentions. That's why he went and slept on the couch. However he was totally for it, and we captured it all on tape the following day. Thanks for the advice...

12-09-2007, 08:29 PM	#17 (permalink)
Baraka_Guru warrior bodhisattva Super Moderator Location: East-central Canada	__________________ Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing? —Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön Humankind cannot bear very much reality. —From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

12-09-2007, 11:18 PM	#18 (permalink)
Kpax Crazy Location: Washington	Hmm... I'm not Dr. Ruth but... I'm not hung like a horse but a videotaping wouldn't bother me at all... If there is any guy that should be body-conscious it would be me, but for some reason the deed itself overrides any other apprehension. Not sure about this!

12-10-2007, 09:42 AM	#19 (permalink)
xepherys <3 TFP Location: 17TLH2445607250	Kpax, it's just a matter of comfort. I'm average at best, and still felt comfortable with TotalMILF posting some pics of us together in Exhibition. shrug Looks like the OP got it all sorted out. Good for them! __________________ The prospect of achieving a peace agreement with the extremist group of MILF is almost impossible... -- Emmanuel Pinol, Governor of Cotobato My Homepage

12-10-2007, 10:54 AM	#20 (permalink)
dirtyrascal7 That's what she said	Communication to the rescue again. Good to hear things worked out... seems like one of those experiences that will become quite humorous looking back on it years later. __________________ "Tie yourself to your limitless potential, rather than your limiting past." "Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him."

12-10-2007, 11:25 AM	#21 (permalink)
Willravel ... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.	I'd laugh if someone made a phone call while I was having relations with them.

12-10-2007, 08:03 PM	#23 (permalink)
Confederate Death Leprechaun Location: College Station, TX	lol I was intimate with a Gf and she carried on a conversation while we were doing it, I was hurt and amused lol

12-10-2007, 09:28 PM	#24 (permalink)
MSD The sky calls to us ... Super Moderator Location: CT	At my friend Pablo's house, I once joked, "who here has called Pablo and had him answer while getting head?" seven out of nine people raised their hands. My friend Matt, his housemate, asked, "OK, who here has called Pablo and had him answer the phone while fucking?" and raised his hand. Pablo started cracking up, then the rest of us burst out laughing.

12-10-2007, 10:56 PM	#25 (permalink)
roobix Upright	I agree with everyone who thinks you should talk about it.. even if he doesn't want to.. just take him aside for a moment.. and just say "I know you don't like to talk about these things.. but it would mean a lot to me if we could talk about this because i love you" there you go.. Talking is, in most cases, the best form if healing/fixing

12-13-2007, 10:15 PM	#26 (permalink)
TotalMILF Delusional... but in a funny way Location: deeee-TROIT!!!	He thought you were making a phone call!? Bwahahaha! Sorry, that's just funny! Glad you got your little misunderstanding all sorted out __________________ "I'm sorry, all I heard was blah blah blah, I'm a dirty tramp."

12-13-2007, 10:28 PM	#27 (permalink)
Dtamr Upright Location: California	I think it would be hot if my partner would carry on a conversation while we're having sex. I would just pull out and tease her just to gauge the reaction. __________________ E fuhtan ruf syho baubma femm ihtancdyht drec saccyka?

12-30-2007, 03:52 AM	#28 (permalink)
gentlesoul43 Tilted	Maybe he thought you were calling someone to complain. Once when I was having sex with the girl, the phone rings and she said "it's probably my boyfriend who's overseas". I asked if she wanted to take it and she said yes. It was pretty wierd for me to sit naked outside the room watching TV, and wondering whether or not I should put my clothes back on, or whether we'll be continuing our session. We didn't continue because we were kinda done anyway (good timing!), we didn't talk about the phone call and we just watched TV after that. Wierd but exciting!