newlyable

Ok so my husband and I decide to have sex, or daughter is a month old. This being the first time since she was born. Now he is always saying that I am not as out going as I once was. SO.. about 15mins into it I get my phone and turn the video camara on. He freaks out yells at me, pulls out and storms out of the room. He goes into the kitchen gets some water and lays down on the couch and FALLS ASLEEP!!! I am in complete shock...WTF!

MzNadia

Outgoing is one thing. Video taping what he feels inadequate or uncomfortable about is another.

I don't know what that is btw.

Have him make a suggestion.

Konichiwaneko

could be anxiety from both you guys having to wait 4~5 months.

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LoganSnake

I think he might be able to give you a better answer than any of us can as to his behavior.

Could just have been be a bit unexpected for him. Especially after a month+ long haitus. Have you used video recording devices in the past?

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Baraka_Guru

He likely is self-conscious about being recorded for whatever reason. Maybe it's self-image; maybe it's how he feels about it morally.

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Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
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Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
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MSD

My idea of being outgoing is putting more energy into what I'm doing, not capturing incriminating evidence on tape.

albania

Maybe he thought you were trying to steal his soul.

ItWasMe

I don't know of any woman who was as "outgoing", about anything, when her baby was a month old. Especially the first time after having said baby.

Not a clue as to what was going through his head about the phone video. Maybe he thought you were making a phone call? Who knows. Ask him.

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World's King

Did he let you videotape you two fucking before the child?

If not...

You have your answer and you need to go back to how sex was before you pushed out a child.

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xepherys

newly,

First, get him off his high horse regarding your "outgoingness". You just had a frickin' baby! Your hormones are still far, FAR from level and there's bound to be an adjustment period of much more than a month. He has to play on your terms, not the other way around. After TotalMILF had our baby, we didn't have sex for uhm... well, it was a while. Our sex life was actually pretty bleh for a good long bit, but *shrug* That's just how it was. Now it's better than ever (when I'm home at least) and actually far more exciting in many ways.

Just talk to him and explain your needs and ask for him to be patient. As for his response to the camera... I have no clue.

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TotalMILF

It was less than four weeks, and I had a dozen stitches in my vagina!! Jeez, what do you want from me!?

Besides that, I agree with all that my better half said

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"I'm sorry, all I heard was blah blah blah, I'm a dirty tramp."

Push-Pull

Been doing some research on my wife's low drive, and I keep coming across a LOT of stuff about how men will (subconciously) feel "left out" once baby is in the picture. My guess is that with all the attention towards the child, add in the forced abstinence, and he's feeling a little disconnected from you.

Next time the mood strikes, give him a sultry look, whisper in his ear, and let him know that he's still the man. In short, stroke his ego. I'd bet his whole "outgoing" argument disappears.

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Seaver

Well, how many women would do something similar if their boyfriend pulled that on them without discussing it first?

Quite a few, so people lay off her man.

Do what Push-Pull mentioned, and next time discuss it before bringing something like that into the bedroom. Things like pictures and videos can get people in trouble, and I've known one friend who was planning to go into politics until his girlfriend posted a sex tape online without discussing it with him because she thought it was sexy. Now he's given up on that dream, and that girl, because of it.

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jen71au

So you think he wants to be a politician?

Look he may just feel mighty uncomfortable about it, though I think it was very brave of you to try a new thing, especially only a month after having a bubs.

I agree with all others, if you want to try something new, discuss it first to make sure it is what you both want.

I am also thinking he may have thought you weren't into it and were making a call or sending a message.

(If you do talk to him about why, I would be interested in hearing his take on it)

biznatch

I realize that this event truly surprised you, and maybe even hurt you, but it made me laugh really hard.
On a more serious note however, things are often better in bed with less surprise and more talk and understanding.

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newlyable

Ok so I asked him about it. He indeed thought I was making a phone call. He got embarrased of his actions after he found out my intentions. That's why he went and slept on the couch. However he was totally for it, and we captured it all on tape the following day. Thanks for the advice...

Baraka_Guru

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Kpax

Hmm... I'm not Dr. Ruth but...

I'm not hung like a horse but a videotaping wouldn't bother me at all... If there is any guy that should be body-conscious it would be me, but for some reason the deed itself overrides any other apprehension.

Not sure about this!

xepherys

Kpax, it's just a matter of comfort. I'm average at best, and still felt comfortable with TotalMILF posting some pics of us together in Exhibition. *shrug* Looks like the OP got it all sorted out. Good for them!

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dirtyrascal7

Communication to the rescue again.

Good to hear things worked out... seems like one of those experiences that will become quite humorous looking back on it years later.

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Willravel

I'd laugh if someone made a phone call while I was having relations with them.

Mantus

hah, yah, and I'd keep doing it

Confederate

lol I was intimate with a Gf and she carried on a conversation while we were doing it, I was hurt and amused lol

MSD

At my friend Pablo's house, I once joked, "who here has called Pablo and had him answer while getting head?" seven out of nine people raised their hands. My friend Matt, his housemate, asked, "OK, who here has called Pablo and had him answer the phone while fucking?" and raised his hand. Pablo started cracking up, then the rest of us burst out laughing.

roobix

I agree with everyone who thinks you should talk about it.. even if he doesn't want to.. just take him aside for a moment.. and just say "I know you don't like to talk about these things.. but it would mean a lot to me if we could talk about this because i love you" there you go..

Talking is, in most cases, the best form if healing/fixing

TotalMILF

He thought you were making a phone call!? Bwahahaha! Sorry, that's just funny!

Glad you got your little misunderstanding all sorted out

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"I'm sorry, all I heard was blah blah blah, I'm a dirty tramp."

Dtamr

I think it would be hot if my partner would carry on a conversation while we're having sex. I would just pull out and tease her just to gauge the reaction.

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gentlesoul43

Maybe he thought you were calling someone to complain. Once when I was having sex with the girl, the phone rings and she said "it's probably my boyfriend who's overseas". I asked if she wanted to take it and she said yes. It was pretty wierd for me to sit naked outside the room watching TV, and wondering whether or not I should put my clothes back on, or whether we'll be continuing our session.

We didn't continue because we were kinda done anyway (good timing!), we didn't talk about the phone call and we just watched TV after that. Wierd but exciting!

Kaimi

I don't know why you would have 4-5 month wait? You can definitely have sex throughout a healthy pregnancy, there is only a matter of a few weeks after birth that you must abstain.

jewels

OP mentions that they had a 1 month old baby at the time of posting. I only hope that Konichawa hasn't had a baby recently. Even with a C-section, max "wait" time would usually be no more than 8 weeks.

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Deltona Couple

Um, Is it just me, or are there others thinking this video proof needs to be posted in another forum named "Tilted Exhibition"? hehehe

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ItWasMe

I didn't laugh when someone stopped to answer the damned phone. My reaction was very similar to that of the OP's husband. "Okay, bye bye. I've got grocery shopping to do."

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"Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez

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Kaimi

Once I was dating a guy who had an obsessive ex-girlfriend. She called once during our activities. I happened to see the number come up as it rang. I grinned, and answered it for her to hear us in the heat of the moment(neither of us were known to be quiet lovers)... she stopped calling after that.