bunkenobi

...she is as sweet as can be, a genuinely nice, loving person, the nicest person I have ever met, my best friend. Always smiling. A gorgeous, intelligent woman who happens to be stacked! Body by Fisher. Yes, I am extremely lucky....The sex is fantastic! All these years and it is as intense as when we were college kids.
No rush to marry, but it's all but inevitable. Anyway, i thought i knew this woman until one night last week, she told me she wanted to be spanked. Not just smacked a little on the buns, mind you. She kept telling me to hit her harder, even though she seemed in real tearful pain. To my mind at that point, I was BEATING her! And I felt badly!!!
Good thing we have thick walls. And I was still afraid someone would call the cops! Seriously! Told her if she was going to yell like that we'd have to do it in the walk-in closet.
Thing is, while we have always had great sex, it's damn tough for me to physically hurt her, which i know full well i am doing. But honestly, she seems to enjoy it!? No, not "seems". She tells me she does!!! We talk about it at dinner! I don't like hitting her. Not one bit. But she has never rejected anything i have asked her to do, so how can i say "no?"
This isn't meant to be scintilating.
Any thoughts?
tia
b..

ShaniFaye

I might suggest you do some reading up on BDSM, there are a lot of us in the world that enjoy that kind of thing

Its great she could open up to you and tell you its what she wants!!!

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

ratbastid

Ditto that. Communication is a beautiful thing--so congratulations on having a relationship where your partner feels she can tell you what she wants.

You don't have to understand it. It doesn't have to be something you would choose. You just need to resolve whether you're willing to give her what she wants, and get your head around the fact that she wants it. Keep the lines of communication open!

Plan9

Wow. Memories.

Yeah, I was with a few different chicks that liked the rough-n-tough... hard smacking and hair pulling. I'm not into that thing, but they motivated me. I'm all about pleasing the woman, so if that's what she wants... I'll do it all night long.

Your mileage may vary. Key to success? Express your honest concerns to her as you did above, instead of just a board of horny strangers.

Good relationships are based on communication. And sometimes... hardcore ass smacking.

Talk to her!

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

abaya

Yes... consider yourself lucky that you are with someone who can be so open and honest with you. Fantasies like that take some serious vulnerability and trust with your partner, so it's a good thing.

It's hard for me to get into BDSM as well, but it's worth it when I do. Even if I would never choose it for myself, the payoffs make it worth the effort.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

hambone

Tell her your concerns about it. Yes, it is great she can be honest what you about what she likes, but you need to be honest about how it makes you feel. After talking about it you can come to some agreement and maybe limit it to once in a while....or you may just begin to understand why she gets a rush out of it and learn to enjoy it as much as she does.

In any case, don't just hide how it makes you feel and do whatever she wants. Both sides need to be open to each other's feelings/desires.

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"Like liquid white from fallen glass,
Nothing to cry over"

World's King

Hmmm...


That's fuckin' hot.




Sorry.




Don't think of it as hitting her. Think of it as giving her pleasure. And if that doesn't work...

It's not gonna work out between you two.

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

telekinetic

My advice? Smack that ass. Also, Get a paddle or two so you don't hurt your hand.

You're lucky she can tell you what she wants rather than just be frustrated.

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twisted no more

Ilow

get the hell out of my head, WK! spot on.

__________________
"Religion is the one area of our discourse in which it is considered noble to pretend to be certain about things no human being could possibly be certain about"
--Sam Harris

Hyacinthe

Speaking as someone who does enjoy that kindof play a great deal I can tell you she really truly does enjoy it. Yes it hurts and it brings tears to her eyes and she can't help but cry out but gods it feel soo good.

At the same time you need to decide if you can do that, some people are capable of enjoying it and others are not if you're not forcing yourself to do it will just build up resentment between the two of you.

I'd agree with Shanis post about bondage research and add in masochism and submission to your research list.

__________________
"I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles even when her heart is broken... and the one that could brighten up your day even if she couldnt brighten her own"

"Her emotions were clear waters. You could see the scarring and pockmarks at the bottom of the pool, but it was just a part of her landscape – the consequences of others’ actions in which she claimed no part."

ShaniFaye

lol I thought I included that when I said research BDSM
* Bondage & discipline (B&D)
* Domination & submission (D&S)
* Sadism and masochism (or sadomasochism) (S&M)

I love pain....I adore pain....I get off to pain (I mean the BDSM kind of pain, not stubbing my toe on the end of the bed kind of pain lol)

There is just something about the chemical that kicks in (cant spell it, dont feel like looking it up...havent had coffee yet) when that kind of "pain" is inflicted.

Have a serious talk with her about how far she wants to go....maybe its just spankings only....maybe she wants to investigate farther.

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

PhilMcGroin

My advice? Suck it up Princess. You'll get used to it after a while even though it seems weird now.

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I don't know what I've been doing but I don't wanna stop

bunkenobi

...We did talk yesterday. At lunch. At an outdoor restaurant. The conversation got to the point where we had to exchange notes.
We talk a lot anyway. Always have, since Day One.
...turns out she also likes pain...says it enhances her orgasms(?) Who knew? She says she actually got the notion from me. She has a great ass and i would just love/lust-slap it now and then. But it wasn't spanking!
Until now...
...'cause if that's what Baby wants, that's what Baby gets! She likes it, she is gonna get it! You are all right. Just call me Spankmeister. I am going to raise ass slapping into an art form!!
And yup, it was pretty darn good last night.
It was kinda' funny 'cause she was giving me "instructions." Right hand is better, wide open, spread fingers; stings better than closed palm(!) "...makes it sting more. Don't hit me. Smack me! SLAP me!"
It was her talking to me that got to me last night! I stopped worrying about the neighbors and whacked away! She's always been a pillow talker, but she never talked(yelled) like that! That was hot!
We wound up on the floor in the next room, laughing.
Never be afraid to try something new! Had no idea i would get off hearing her yell like that!
We won't be able to do this after kids!

ubertuber

Happily ever after...

Good for you.

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Cogito ergo spud -- I think, therefore I yam

ruggerp11

This is all I could think of when reading this post:

I feel you creepin', I can see you from my shadow.
Wanna jump up in my Lamborghini Gallardo.
Maybe go to my place and just kick it, like Taebo.
And possibly bend you over.
Look back and watch me
smack that, all on the floor,
smack that, give me some more,
smack that, 'till you get sore
smack that, oooh.
smack that, all on the floor,
smack that, give me some more,
smack that, 'till you get sore,
smack that, oooh.

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Patriotism means being loyal to your country all the time and to its government when it deserves it.
--Mark Twain
Do What makes you happy
--Me
BUT!
"Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness" - Chuang-Tzu

MSD

Ball gag?

Wyodiver33

Be happy that your girl communicates what she wants to you. Do what she likes. Get over any problems you have with what she wants. Just keep her happy. You can tell her that you are not so comfortable hurting her but if she wants you to hurt her respect that she has that kink going on. There are many reasons why she might want the pain, but what matters is that she wants it from you.

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I like stuff.

Push-Pull

Sweeeeeeet! Glad that you and her "broke the ice" so to speak. Enjoy it man!

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"No laws, no matter how rigidly enforced, can protect a person from their own stupidity." -Me-

"Some people are like Slinkies..... They are not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs." -Unknown-

DAMMIT! -Jack Bauer-

james t kirk

My thoughts exactly.

I've only met one woman like that before and she was a sexual animal. My guess is is that your GF will have a few more surprises in store for you.

Spanking, that's just the tip of the ice berg would be my guess. Right now, she's feeling you out to see if you are comfortable with the spanking before she escalates it.

You are a lucky man, don't blow this.

I suggest you start reading some of the vast array of literature that is out there on the topic of D and S.

Plan9

God, I can't stop laughing about that shit.

Women listen to music like that and get turned on?

They must.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

james t kirk

It's called "topping from the bottom"

Appreciate that she has the desire to teach you.

As to the kids thing, don't count on it. I highly doubt she's going to change, she's hard wired that way. My guess is that she's been aching to do this for a long time and finally had the guts to bring it up to you.

Advice, try surprising her with some very sexy leather restraints (try wrist restraints, maybe a collar to start). One up her so to speak.

My guess is that she would have an orgasm on the spot.

Check here....I've looked all over and their leather gear is some of the finest.

http://www.northbound.com/english/index.taf

I'm very jealous.....