Asking about ex's...
 

Is there a nice way of asking about a girls past history with relationships? It's just something that I'd like to know...

I've been with my first girlfriend for almost 2 months now, and I havent asked. I've made no secret that it's my first relationship.

I would like to know just for the record, and for future reference in case of possible sexual relations.

Now I'm just wondering what the best way of inquiring is. Be straight forward and honest, inquire with one of her friends(subtle, but I'd prefer not to go behind her back), or is their a sensitive method?

No, you don't ask. What happened before you doesn't matter, she is with you now. What she did before you doesn't matter, because it was before you. She is with you now, that's all that should matter to you. Let the past go..

You could ask her if you feel she is the type of person that wouldnt mind...ie open minded

might not be a bad idea to warm her to the topic by discussing a crush/attraction from your past, and push the subject that way. That said, it may be a blessing to never hear about her ex's...there may be something you don't want to know. But simply as a communication exercise, the idea of asking has merit.

DEFINITELY don't go behind her back. Bad bad bad bad bad. I'd say if you're dying to know, just ask her. But if you can live with not knowing, except for health reasons, leave it be. When the time comes to talk about possible sexual safety issues, just ask if she's been safe and/or been tested (being sure to divulge your own er, status) and leave it at that. If she wants to tell you about past relationships it'll come up naturally. Plus, who wants all those other people in the relationship with you? No fun to compare yourself to past lovers.

i just went through all of this recently...except that i've been with the girl for 3 and a half years.

found out that i have been lied to all this time. Good thing i had already mentally prepared myself (as i had a suspicion i was being lied to)

i should never have brought it up though.

BUT, for health reasons, you have to ask!! but don't ask for any more detail than that.

Don't ask. If she wants to offer up her past, let her do it on her own time. You're looking for information that, if it exists, you probably don't really want to know about.

Don't bother to ask. I was in the exact same position not too long ago, and pretty much anything you hear besides "I dated losers until you, the best evver came along. And there wasn't anything tragic in my past either" is going to fuck you up. Yes it will. Don't shake your head like that, don't be stupid like me and just take some good advice.
Odds are you aren't (yet anyway, just 2 months) and there are (she got cheated on, did some cheating, was sexually mollested, whatever- all shit you don't want to know after 2 months).

It really isn't any of your business.When women ask me things like,how many people have you sleep with,or the obligatory,have you ever had a one night stand,I repeat the above.None of your damn business.

However when it comes to sex, wrap it up and protect yourself.If she is on the pill and doesn't see the need for condoms,suggest you both get tested.If she's offended by that,keep wrapping it up or move on.

Looks like the nay's have it so far, and I agree with them. Do not, in a million years, ask her about her past relationships. If she has something important to tell you (sexual stuff and the like), hopefully she'll have the decency to fill you in before you... fill her... in...

Bad joke.

And while we're on the subject, if she asks you about your past, dance around it. I'm not so sure about gibber71's idea of giving her the MYOB. Personally, I'd just make a joke of it and then change the subject. "Yeah, I get around. And I mean <i>around</i>. There ain't a base on this diamond that I haven't stolen yet, baby. Hell, I even just broke up with your sister last week. Hey, check out that moon!"

I wouldn't...you're asking for trouble.

Develop the comfort & the trust...then have the sex.
Otherwise, use the loveglove.
Hell, use the condom anyway...take control of YOUR responsibility.

You should be able to ask, and she should answer you honestly. However, it shouldn't matter. Her past history only means that she has shopped around, and would rather be with you than the guys that came before you.

Whatever you do, don't get all wierd about it. In this day and age of sexually transmitted diseases, you do have a right to know how many people she has slept with, and under what circumstances, but you shouldn't pry beyond that.