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Old 07-06-2007, 08:05 AM   #41 (permalink)
 
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Location: Iceland
Quote:
Originally Posted by JinnKai
But I think you're dramatically in the minority in the assumption that men can have feelings about sex too.
Well, I'm not so sure... take a look at how many of the responses above are by men themselves, jumping at the chance to have sex... doesn't do much to improve the stereotype, does it? Not saying that it's fair, but it doesn't accurately represent those men who wouldn't like it.
Quote:
If this thread were about a woman freaking about a text message about cunnilingus at work, it would be perceived by the majority as completely normal and I doubt many people would be attacking her response so much as agreeing that she had a right to be upset.
Well Jinn, I don't know about that, because it hasn't happened (a thread like that)... hard to predict how people will behave until you actually test it empirically. For myself, though, I would hold the same standards of behavior for both men and women in terms of communicating effectively and kindly. No one deserves to be shut down the way this guy did to his wife, and if it was the wife shutting down the husband, she'd also deserve criticism in my book.
Quote:
It's somehow normal for women to have difficulty "communicating" their feelings and articulating why it was inappropriate, but if a man fails to do so he's either "wrong in the head" for refusing sex or just an asshole who can't communicate.
Now this is odd, I've actually never heard that it's normal for women to have difficulty communicating their feelings... I always thought that the stereotype was that women communicated too MUCH of their feelings. But yet again, personally, I think that if anyone communicates in an asshole manner, then he OR she is an asshole, regardless of what kind of plumbing is on the front of their body.
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Old 07-06-2007, 08:25 AM   #42 (permalink)
Zeroed In
 
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Location: CA
Quote:
Originally Posted by heatherbeehoney
I just said..."That wasn't exactly the response I was looking for" took his cell phone, showed him how to delete the message and then told him in very graphic and erotic detail what he had just missed out on.

He pretty much admitted it was a stupid thing to say, that he didn't mean it the way it sounded, and that he appreciated me more than I would ever know. He did have a difficult time sharing why that was his response...
Heatherbeehoney,

I would just like to say I think you two have a great marriage. Seriously. You are excited and willing to try new things to spice it up and even when things don't work out right and it bothers you, you do what you said above. You tell him that it bothered you. And then, he admits he made a mistake!

This is what good communication in a marriage should look like. I don't agree with those saying your husband totally screwed up or there is something off with him or any of that crap. Your moods simply didn't match and he was a bit insensitive in his response. Tough. People aren't perfect.

Your ability to handle the situation promptly and efficiently is very commendable though.

I will keep this in mind when something similar inevitably happens between my wife and I and I hope to handle it with as much integrity as you both did.
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Old 07-06-2007, 01:00 PM   #43 (permalink)
Evil Priest: The Devil Made Me Do It!
 
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Location: Southern England
I'd show my boss who would send me home at once.

I have a geat boss.
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╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine

╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝
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Old 07-06-2007, 01:21 PM   #44 (permalink)
follower of the child's crusade?
 
In think in the regard that he apparently apologised... I dont really think my first post was based on a complete understanding.

I can see that it might be kind of hurting to the feelings - but to me it sounds like a bit of a misunderstanding and not much more. He probably didnt express what he meant in the most tactful way, and you prolly took it a bit too much to heart (imo anyway)
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