liamfoster

StellaLuna - you might be right, I am a liar, she is a liar.... so maybe we're good together

World's King

To make a long story short...


You're an idiot.



When you two break up in a few months... it will be all your fault. Good job.

__________________
heavy is the head that wears the crown

Cynthetiq

right... you reap what you sow.

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

ngdawg

Anyone ever consider she was on to him?
As a joke, someone tried this with me and at first, I thought it was a stranger, but certain words, spellings, etc., gave it away. So I played along.
I'm curious too as to why the exes are exes, given that this 'game' is apparently something the OP does with pride each blossoming relationship.
Psych major?

__________________
Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

dirtyrascal7

You keep using that phrase. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Anyway... so basically what it boils down to is that you don't trust her. Why would you want to continue a relationship with someone you don't trust, let alone move in with them?

Also, I think if you would stop being so defensive for a second and hear what we're all saying, it might really help. You have issues trusting girls... I don't think you can deny that. The problem with that is, you won't ever be able to develop healthy, happy relationships because you are trying to control something that is uncontrollable. You can't control her choices or actions, but you CAN control yours... which is exactly why it makes no difference whose "sin" was greater. You've admitted that you did wrong, and now you need to do what you can to make it right... or at the very least, don't make the same mistake again.

__________________
"Tie yourself to your limitless potential, rather than your limiting past."

"Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him."

World's King

Quoted for truth...





Oh wait... I said that...

__________________
heavy is the head that wears the crown

jth

here's now to know if you guys are to be together

Tell her what you did.

See what happens.

__________________
"A real leader faces the music, even if he doesn't like the tune." - unknown quote

Johnny Rotten

Creating an elaborate online persona to test a girl, who you've only been with for a few months anyway? All you've established is that nobody's perfect, and now both of you are hiding a secret from one another. Congratulations -- that kind of complication usually takes years to develop.

__________________
"The idea that money doesn't buy you happiness is a lie put about by the rich, to stop the poor from killing them." -- Michael Caine

pig

you should have showed up at the hotel wearing a little zorro mask to see how far you could push it.

__________________
You don't love me, you just love my piggy style

World's King

I was actually thinking the same thing. Although I was thinking a clown mask and a bull whip...

__________________
heavy is the head that wears the crown

bparker805

Liam, do these words fit in your life?

INTEGRITY - adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.

ACCOUNTABILTY - the state of being accountable, liable, or answerable.

Let her off the hook and move on. You are not doing any favors for yourself or her. Take some time. Learn from your mistakes and don't "test". Commitment is test enough.

match000

man u guys r totally pwning this guy. he must be feeling horrible now.

ShaniFaye

as well he should

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

StellaLuna

And you've stumbled on to the secret of a terrible relationship. Go get her, tiger.

__________________
Screw tradition!

liamfoster

ok guys, thank you all for the advices and point of view.
For now I decided not to tell her anything and forget the whole issue, I will keep you posted for those who are interested.
The mask of zorro was a good one though

pig

i thought you'd like that...but clown mask and bullwhip might take it up a notch too...don't just throw it out man. my guess is you get a little too attached a little too early in a relationship, then freak out and get possessive. probably a good idea to stop that one. worst case scenario, she cheats on you (but you used a jimmy cap, so hopefully no worries) and you move on. worst case scenario, you're slapping that ass in a mask. life could be worse.

__________________
You don't love me, you just love my piggy style

longbough

Fake photos? It's called entrapment.

In any case what's your intent? Setting a girl up the way you did pretty much torpedoes any chance at a healthy long-term relationship. Even if she "passes" the test you'd be an ass for putting her through this.

Now, if you had said this was just some girl you were dating then I'd be a little more understanding - especially if it's a long-distance thing. But you said she's your "girlfriend."

At this point, do yourselves a favor - tell her what you did and break up with her. Neither of you can really be trusted anymore ... ever.

__________________
"I do believe that, where there is only a choice between cowardice and violence, I would advise violence. Thus when my eldest son asked me what he should have done, had he been present when I was almost fatally assaulted in 1908, whether he should have run away and seen me killed or whether he should have used his physical force which he could and wanted to use, and defended me, I told him that it was his duty to defend me even by using violence." - Mahatma Ghandi

cadre

Wow, all of that and you still think you're right and everyone else is wrong. Now that is some self confidence.

I'm with WK, a clown mask and bull whip would be a great idea.

__________________
My life is one of those 'you had to be there' jokes.

Im_not_bitter

All such good advices have fall on deaf's ears. I dont think he's looking for advice. Maybe looking for something more like sympathy for this trickery because the girl have fail in his terms, so he can continue this trickery without having to burden much guilt.

__________________
Just because it's called common sense, doesn't mean it's a common trait

ratbastid

I think you're right.

Hey, liam! Drop the skank, dude. She's a cheatin' ho. You deserve better.

There. Is that what you wanted to hear?

waltert

Its as though my very thoughts were stolen.

to the OP:
you're a nutcase, and your girl gets around... I would probably stop considering your relationship with her a serious one.

longbough

What can one say about a fella who is insecure about his relationship with his gf and would rather forget about any deceit on her part just to stay with her ... ?

P-whipped?

__________________
"I do believe that, where there is only a choice between cowardice and violence, I would advise violence. Thus when my eldest son asked me what he should have done, had he been present when I was almost fatally assaulted in 1908, whether he should have run away and seen me killed or whether he should have used his physical force which he could and wanted to use, and defended me, I told him that it was his duty to defend me even by using violence." - Mahatma Ghandi

match000

what's the 'P' stand for?

Baraka_Guru

You are both at fault. There is no need or benefit to measuring who is more at fault because it doesn't matter. You both failed "the test." That means neither of you passed; there is no degree of failing--you both failed.

Both of you spoke untruthfully to one another. Both of you engaged in sexual misconduct. Both of you did something that would cause the other to be hurt and become miserable.

The best thing for you to do is tell her the truth immediately and work out the problem as it comes to you. Whether you can salvage the relationship depends on the maturity and commitment of both of you. The longer you let it go, the worse it will get. Nothing is beyond redemption if you put in the effort. To disbelieve that means you are too pessimistic and would suggest to me you aren't ready for a serious long-term commitment... with anyone.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

longbough

pussy

__________________
"I do believe that, where there is only a choice between cowardice and violence, I would advise violence. Thus when my eldest son asked me what he should have done, had he been present when I was almost fatally assaulted in 1908, whether he should have run away and seen me killed or whether he should have used his physical force which he could and wanted to use, and defended me, I told him that it was his duty to defend me even by using violence." - Mahatma Ghandi

Toaster126

QFT... although I have a feeling you aren't going to man up and admit what you did because it is easier to just pretend it never happened.

__________________
"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

match000

so does that explain why certain girls put out.. so they can p-whip the guys.

so doesn't that mean that the girl, in fact, is insecure, just as insecure as the guy she is p-whipping. cuz the girl believes she needs to put-out to keep the guy in the picture..

so i guess both of them are insecure.

cadre

I think if he was pussy-whipped he wouldn't have created a fake identity in the first place. But it almost is like he's whipped, just not quite in the same way I think.

__________________
My life is one of those 'you had to be there' jokes.

Dilbert1234567

i sure hope she is a member... and gets 4 from 2 + 2

__________________
Donate Blood!

"Love is not finding the perfect person, but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." -Sam Keen

Menoman

Awful lot of phsychiatrists here I guess.

I hardly think doing this = he is trying to prove "People are untrustworthy"

How about, he thinks the girl is too good for him? Self Esteem issues? It's insanely more logical to think he has self esteem issues than to think he's trying to prove the world is untrustworthy.

However, I guess I see how battering him with "stupid" "pathetic" and "idiot" would help that esteem problem.

__________________

World's King

Of course he has self-esteem issues.


I don't think there was ever a question about that.

__________________
heavy is the head that wears the crown

Menoman

Because trashing someone over and over (and over and over) in one thread should make all of you feel just peachy right?

I fail to see how any of this thread could have helped him, I for one, would not listen to people who are being rude and looking down upon me. I was under the impression this forum was for civil discussion and advice given to help people.

__________________

jorgelito

I'm with Menoman. This entire thread is very shameful. Defnitely not in the spirit of TFP, have people forgotten the rules? Personal attacks, namecalling, trashing the OP (a newbie too) - makes the politics forum look peaceful.

I would report post but is there a button for report thread? I guess it doesn't matter seing how some of the mods were involved too.

I hope this isn't the new tfp.

ngdawg

King, you know I love ya, you're one of my faves here..but if anyone else here had said outright "you're an idiot", we'd have been cyber-slapped...

The actions of the OP weren't the best or brightest anyone could do(I still partly think she was onto him and played along), but I have to agree with jorgelito and Menoman-I think we went overboard on the guy....that'll scare off anyone else who did something they might regret and want to discuss...

__________________
Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

match000

Is honesty always the best policy?

Or, is a white lie better at times?

In the case of this thread, most of the TFP'ers have chosen to be point blank honest, and give their entire, 100% undiluted opinion.. stated in a very straightforward way (if not a little rude at times).

However, everyone was giving their honest opinion because they really *do* want to help the guy, and they feel that what they suggest would only save much trouble/drama/heartache for the guy down the road.

I'm sure that, psychologically, the OP probably came looking more for a boost (agreements on what he did) to assuage his *subconcious* guilt (since he doesn't seem to consciously be guilty).. but at the same time, if you are giving advice, and you are doing it out of a sense of truly seeking to help someone, then sure, you give them what you think and not some white lies or whatever you think he wants to hear. (unless, of course, he's suicidal or dangerous, at which point you need to do tell him whatever you need to help him stop being dangerous).

I guess my point is: you cannot blame the forum members for giving their honest opinions.. would you rather have this forum become a bunch of yes-men and yes-women? Nope. If I were to ask for opinions (and I sure have before), although I might not like what I hear, I do certainly appreciate the members giving me their full viewpoint..

I guess the real problelm was the undercurrent inherent in a few of the responses. It was so straightforward that it bordered on rude sometimes.

ShaniFaye

As far as I know when asked for an opinion, whether it be popular or unpopular (I believe there is a thread about that very thing somewhere?) I'm supposed to give it...thats what I did.

I didnt post to him any differently than I would have spoken too him if he'd been standing in front of me.

someone please let me know if we are supposed to start molly coddling idiotic behavior when thoughts/advice etc has been ASKED for and I'll be sure not to the let door hit my fat ass on the way out.

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

hagatha

I've often found that people who are insecure about their partners cheating generally feel that way because they've done it themselves repeatedly.

And if you're going to set someone up you deserve what you got.

__________________
Thats the last time I trust the strangest people I ever met....H. Simpson

longbough

Y'know I've noticed that, too.
It's a warning sign if your partner is constantly suspicious of you (presuming that you haven't given them something to be jealous about). I don't like to sneak around my partner - that's why my conscience is clean and I have nothing to hide nor to fear.

__________________
"I do believe that, where there is only a choice between cowardice and violence, I would advise violence. Thus when my eldest son asked me what he should have done, had he been present when I was almost fatally assaulted in 1908, whether he should have run away and seen me killed or whether he should have used his physical force which he could and wanted to use, and defended me, I told him that it was his duty to defend me even by using violence." - Mahatma Ghandi

Sultana

I detected no regret. I see only that he asked for input, clearly expecting to be hailed as a brilliant playa. When the praise was not doled out, and instead his actions were called to task, he repeatedly argued, justified, and discarded the input several people took the time to offer up.

One asks 20 people for their opinon, one shouldn't be suprised if they get 20 people saying hhat what happened was lame, if they all happen to think so. Sometimes it happens.

I would wager that it wouldn't have gone down the same way if the OP hadn't repeatedly defended and justified his own actions, and completely disregarded the first oh, 5-6 responders.

__________________
"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath.
At night, the ice weasels come." -

Matt Groening

My goal? To fulfill my potential.

Destrox

I am just disgusted by this whole OP's "master plan".

You do not deserve to date anyone.

Grow up.

I cant believe people actually do this shit, and with no care to the other persons feelings.

Arghh...... this world is fucked.

__________________
You bore me.... next.