big problems...
 

So I don't know what to do...

LAst night my gf wanted sex and I didnt really want to but went ahead and
started FP. She was reluctant to kiss me much becuase she has a cold sore starting, and while I wasnt really ready I was "ready enough". so we started intercourse and she finnished really quickly. I dont know why but I thought what the hell is she faking ? and then well I couldnt finnish.

she felt horrible I felt worse. to make matters worse when she brought the obvious up (I didnt come) I had to tell her about aformentioned "faking"
thoughts.

Problem is she wasnt faking at all in fact she came all over the bed (she's a squirter!)

so now she thinks (wrongly ) that she doesn turn me on that I dont love her
etc.

I hate myself and have doubts about my masculenity. I mean I was getting some and then couldnt?



I know this is rambling and nonsensical but any help / advice / suggestions / sympathy.
would be welcome.

Yeah, sex messes with your head, doesn't it?

Look, I've been married for 11 years (nearly 12, actually!) and THE fundamental truth I've discovered about sex is this:

When you're hot, you're hot. When you're not, you're not. End of story.

Yeah....and tomorow is a bright new day. Forget about it! Next time will be good. :)

Your "Manhood" is not directly tied to shooting a load of sperm. If you want to Prove your masculinity....be a man, and take her hard, often, and passionately.

Tell her to get over her insecurity. You don't have to get off to have great sex.

So tell her you getting off 100% of the time doesn't have a damn thing to do with how much she turns you on. It's that simple, and all you can do. Sometimes guys just don't want to all the time. If she didn't want to and only complied to make you happy, would anybody really be surprised if she didn't get off?

I do find the "you didn't get off so you don't love me" expression to be pretty immature. That is something that should be worked out sooner rather than later.

Something to think about...how many times has a female partner "taken care of" the male partner without wanting/needing reciprocation? Why should it be any different for the male to do the same thing every once in a while? Tell her that you love her and that you were quite content to help her get off and that she can return the favor some other time.

Wow, there's so much in this original post, and yet I have many questions. I'll break it down.

1. Your GF wanted sex, you didn't, and you guys did anyway. Did you say no? Did she listen? Did she make you?

2. Your GF has herpes simplex with an outbreak coming on, so she didn't want to kiss. I'm not really sure how this statement was connected, except that perhaps you were concerned about catching the virus from her, and that was a reason for not having sex?

3. She came quickly. Congratulations! Except you accused her of faking. Did you miss the gush of liquid somehow? Did you really need the proof?

4. You weren't in the mood, then your brain started working on you further, and you even further weren't in the mood. Sounds about right, unless you frequently have these thoughts with this woman. Do you still want a relationship with her?

5. You have doubts about your masculinity. Why? Because you couldn't finish this one time? If so, really, that's no issue. Because there's more you aren't telling us? Please explain further.