filtherton

It never did to me either, until someone told me to reverse it: "you can't eat your cake and have it too". That makes more sense to me.

Speaking of which, i think that this is generally only an important question to ask if the cake in question is of the cheese variety. I used to be a baker and very few plain cakes impress me anymore. I like having cheesecake to eat, but i also like eating it. Sometimes these two things conflict. The simple answer is to go out an buy more cheesecake, but shit, i'm not made of money and coffee is more important than cake any day so if i were to go anywhere it would be to get more coffee. It all comes down to whether i want to have cheesecake be a sure thing in my near future or whether i want to savor the flavor the sweet texture of sugared cream cheese right now. The real fact of the matter is that i'd much rather just have more delicious black coffee.

Carno

What a lame threadjack.

filtherton

Shut up and get me some cake.

World's King

Interesting...



I didn't think this would turn into a huge debate on cheating...

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

Sharon

I don't mean this in a sarcastic way, but in all seriousness, I find it hard to believe that you would expect there NOT to be a debate on cheating. Did you assume that we'd all be ok with cheating, or that we'd all be against it? Or did you think that what you have done is not cheating?

Willravel

Don't cheat. Either break it off with your current, or break it off with the new girl. Don't be selfish.

World's King

I guess I didn't think it would have been this heated. I assumed everyone would tell me I was being a retard and to not cheat.


I still haven't figured out what I'm gonna do.



Lust vs Love.

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

Lucifer

Don't be a retard WK! Don't cheat!



are you happy now?

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I am a brother to dragons, and a companion to owls.
- Job 30:29

1123, 6536, 5321

Jinn

I'm not so niave as to think that my morals are anyone elses. And few things aside (FGM, murder, rape) - I have no problem letting people live to their morals, as long as they let me live to mine.

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"I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel

Lady Sage

Lust is quite temporary and can kill Love.

I only have one thing to say at this point.

Sure it may sound good now but what if she gives you crotch rot and you pass said VD on to your current g/f?

Never happen right? Everyone who has crotch rot said that I am sure. 4/5 people are packin one of those gifts that keep on givin. Most didnt know they had them. Exactly why I made Pan get tested BEFORE I would give it up.

Good luck.

Edit: Even condoms dont prevent them all. A la crabs and warts to name a couple.

__________________
If only closed minds came with closed mouths.
Minds are like parachutes, they function best when open.
It`s Easier to Change a Condom Than a Diaper
Yes, the rumors are true... I actually AM a Witch.

World's King

I did think about the STD thing. Her boyfriend seems a little dirty. But then again I don't actually plan on sleeping with her while I still have a girlfriend.

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

little_tippler

I'm sorry you find yourself in this predicament WK.

It seems to me a matter of lust vs, love, as you've said. If I felt the way you do, I'd choose a course of action soon, otherwise the choice will make itself for you, and I like to be in control of my own life so I don't feel like an idiot later. Whatever the choice, I didn't let time step in and handle things for me. That's a cop out.

And completely off course, can I just say it's nice to hear several of the men say that there is no excuse for cheating. It's quite refreshing!

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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

ngdawg

At least half the instances of love start out as a lust; that or a friendship. No one goes into a relationship any other way, really.
Love comes later, when you get to know the person and make some sort of connection.
Quite frankly, if WK was contentfully in love with the GF and still felt lust for her, this wouldn't even be an issue.
No one goes into a relationship with the thought that they will do things to intentionally hurt the other and I don't think anyone of sound mind would set out to do so.
But I still contend that King has some serious introspection to do regarding his living situation and what the future holds. I also think he shouldn't disregard this new girl. She appeared for a reason. It's up to King to decide what that reason is.

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Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

Sharon

I don't know if this is the case in this situation, but I don't think that is necessarily true... I've certainly seen situations where people in happy relationships go and do stupid things.

I agree with the rest of your post by the way.

ngdawg

No, it's not always true-I know you can lust for someone you love and still lust and act on that with someone else. But I wasn't being general or even personal-King has known in the past when to stay and when to cut and run. Difference is, this time, he moved in with someone-that ups the ante a bit and while it's not a marriage, it was/is a form of commitment, its basis and strength known only to him. So that was merely an opinion I feel about the man himself, not the psychology of lust in general.

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Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

shakran

OK, this is simple. If you have a piece of cake, and you eat it, then you don't have the piece of cake anymore because you ate it. Having your cake and eat it too means you eat the cake, yet still have the cake. Can't be done. In other words, you want something without having to give anything up.

We cool now?

And King, I'm as surprised as you. I too expected most if not all responders to tell you not to cheat. I'm not sure why they're holding you to a lower standard than other posters on here are held, but were I you I think I'd be insulted by it

surferlove007

Just end it with your girlfriend, the relationship is tainted and most likely won't work out if this happened. Be upfront and a man about it. If you want to have an affair then spare your girlfriend, being cheated on is heartbreaking. I would know...and for anyone to condone cheating then shame on you, that is just disgusting and wrong.
Give her what little respect you have left for her and end it. Cut it off clean and simple and move on. Don't be a dog about it, just do the right thing.
Also this 19 year old...if she cheated for you, she'll cheat on you. Atleast that is how these things tend to work out.
Hope you make the right choice hun.

Bill O'Rights

Yeah...I've been telling you that for years.

And Shakran wins the thread.

King...seriously...do what you think is right. That may sound like a lame assed cop out excuse for advice...but just think about for a little bit. Then come back and read it again. It'll come to you. I may like to rag on you, but in the end...I trust you to do what you know that you have to do.

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"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

"Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus

It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

analog

"Remember that no matter how hot she is- someone, somewhere is tired of her shit."

And that's all there is to say about that.

abaya

Coming into this thread late, but just wanted to say that I like what MM had to say here. Same for me. Heart/lust/infatuation are very poor decision-makers, but I think WK knows that... question is, what will he act on?

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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

World's King

I'm trying really hard to act with my brain.


But damn does my penis scream really loud.

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

Bill O'Rights

Mmmmmmm...yeah...

Ya might wanna have a doctor take a look at that. Could be that a simple shot in the ass'll clear that right up.

__________________
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

"Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus

It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

serlindsipity

sweetheart, how long have you been unhappy or thinking like this? Cuz last few times Ive seen you, you arent the WK I knew and had a thing for. Maybe its time to reclaim yourself (if that includes having ridiculous sex with some young crazy thang).

I cant blame you either way, because Ive been there too. Good luck.

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My third eye is my camera's lens.

Crack

You remind me of a lot of people I know, King. Most are currently lonely, drunk, sad sacks of people that have a lot of fun from time to time.

Do whatever the fuck you want to do. That's what I do.

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Crack, you and I are long overdue for a vicious bout of mansex.

~Halx

World's King

Did you just call me a lonely, drunk, sad sack?

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

Supple Cow

I'll give you honesty.

I won't tell you not to cheat or to "do the right thing." I'll just say that, as I read through all of this, I can't empathize with you at all. Knowing what you've said about why you're even in this situation and that you're still considering it? Just makes me want to punch you in the sack. Hard. I bet your girlfriend will really want to do it, too, when she finds out. (And she will.)

Good luck with that.

World's King

You don't have to punch anything.


Situation is taken care of. I've been talking to the 19yr old off and on all day. We've decided to not talk anymore.

I love my girlfriend... And to those of you that said I don't respect her... I'll keep my mouth shut.

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

ubertuber

WK - congrats for doing the stand-up thing. People who choose to cheat are cheaters. People who choose not to... Well, unfortunately we don't have a word for them, but they're good to go in my book. You should always live up to your agreements, even if they're implicit.

It can be surprisingly hard to do.

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Cogito ergo spud -- I think, therefore I yam

Sultana

So I guess now you're un-fucked. Congrats!

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"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath.
At night, the ice weasels come." -

Matt Groening

My goal? To fulfill my potential.

World's King

We'll see how long that lasts.


Not on my end. Until she comes into the store again or calls just to say "hi"

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

Kasper4sale

its really your descion i wouldnt tell her about it, but its the matter of who you like the most, and who you would want to be with the most......

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_-Kasper-_

Nimetic

Man... you can't just abandon a current relationship because you met a hot girl.. otherwise you'd never be in one place for more than a few days eh?

Seriously though. She could (and probably will be) be gone tomorrow. Weigh it up. If you were happy before you met her - you'll be happy when you forget her. On the other hand, if you're really not happy in the current relationship (ie it's not just a grass is greener thing) then that's something else.

Hmm. Some girls are like butterflies. Pretty for sure. But not a great long-term pet.

tecoyah

Psycologically, this is standard issue, "I am not ready to commit" action, and should be evaluated as such. Usually it points toward a subconscious fear of losing freedoms of the past, and the destructive results will allow these freedoms to return.



.....Or, you were horny.......

Crack

Did I?

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Crack, you and I are long overdue for a vicious bout of mansex.

~Halx

mixedmedia

No. You said he was going to be a lonely, drunk, sad sack. As if there was still some hope of waylaying such a miserable fate.

At least that was how I interpreted it.

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Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

Ourcrazymodern?

Good luck, World's King! These issues aren't easy, but as most said, they're yours. Peace, joy, and love.

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BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

World's King

Closed...


Don't wanna talk about it anymore.

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heavy is the head that wears the crown