AuroraWolf

Originally, I loved having sex with my male partner (I'm bisexual) All of summer (two years ago) life was good. Very casual and relaxed and laid back. But for some reason, I've been less and less horny. Understandable with school, but even last summer, I just haven't been into it. He's bought me toys and ropes but I'm just not interested, not even in masturbation. I don't know, sex isn't normally satisfying anymore. During that great summer we had sex multiple times, so it didn't matter if I was satisfied on the first go, but now its one go and he's done. So, in curiosity, I asked him what his goal was during sex, and he told me that it was to finish, to finish me, I asked naively, you can guess the answer. So, now we don't have sex for two reasons; I'm not horny and he isn't willing to make me horny. And he's frustrated with me! Is there any way to make this all better? I mean I enjoy having sex, when I am not left unsatisfied. Can this be fixed, or will we both continue to be frustrated? (Sorry most of this is a rant, but advice is appreciated)

biking447

Are you able to have an orgasm from oral sex ? Have you explained to your partner what he can do that really turns you on before just slamming into you? You might want to phrase it like, hey baby you know when you do this i really enjoy it....

I know in the past, my partners who were unable to have an orgasm with just coitus i would perform oral sex until they were satisfied. Then the sex was more enjoyable for them and for me after they got a bit worked up.

Keeping communication open about sex is hard to do sometimes but it is really worth it in the end.

Sultana

Yeah, if your bf honestly only cares about himself finishing, you have bigger problems than lack of sex drive. I'd be sure he wasn't just stupidly joking or something, but you gotta know that not many females are ever going to enjoy sex with a completely selfish partner...sex, nor a relationship.

You gotta take the bull by the horns and get this straightened out pronto.

__________________
"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath.
At night, the ice weasels come." -

Matt Groening

My goal? To fulfill my potential.

horsehead

I’m not able to offer any advice, sorry, but it seem that I am in a similar situation with my gf, so I am very interested in the advice that you may get on this topic.
My gf & I were outrageously sexual beings when we first met and continued on with our varied forms of sex for years.
Unfortunately, a couple years ago, I had two consecutive back & neck injuries that put a kibosh on things for a while. I was on plenty of pain meds and when I wasn’t, I was in constant pain… Not to mention the lack of physical activity.
In that time, I was angry and bitter at the loss of many aspects of my abilities and I know I was not easy to live with, to put it mildly. Not having the strength to be able to hold myself up during sex, or maintain an erection due to the pain, or because I was too doped up was humiliating.
What made it even tougher was the fact that, as adventurous as she is about sex, my gf is not that active in the role of aggressor. (i.e. does not take the initiative to get on top or take control of the session) She is a queen and is used to me doing all of the work and I love going down on her, but I haven’t even been allowed to go that route in quite a while.
As far as my frustrations towards my disability, I tried to be aware of my anger and to curtail it away from my gf, who was kind, supportive and loving throughout all of my convalescence, but there were things I had said and done under duress that have really impacted our relationship on a lot of levels and has had a major impact on our sex life.
On top of that, the few times that we had sex while I was still racked up, there was one occasion that I accidentally hurt her during anal. This, I think, has been a terrible blow towards her trust in me and has been monument to putting her off of sex.
After the physical therapy, I have been getting stronger and have been getting back to my regular weight training and so I have been trying to initiate sessions again, but I don’t get a positive reciprocation.
Because of the injuries, I had lost my job and getting back into the industry on my own has been a bear. There has been a lot of financial stress lately and we both have been working many hours, but I still feel for her sexually, hell, I fantasize about having sex with her.
We are still very affectionate, but not passionate. She lacks any interest in having sex anymore no matter what approach I try to take. She mentions it rarely, but it never happens.

Not to overload on your question; but again, I am very interested in the responses you get.

pig

Aurora, how old are y'all, and how committed are you to this relationship. his commentary above and your other thread don't make me lean towards a rosy outcome in this that involves y'all staying together.

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doubleaught

To recap, he didn't always get you off the first time but since you two were so active it didn't matter. Now it's only one time he's willing to do - whether you climax or not? This naturally led to frustration on your part... which makes intimacy difficult/impossible. Which means he's frustrated (bah).

Both of you need to show some interest in pleasing each other. Without that you can't even begin to work on the deeper issues.