AfterBurn

Here's what happened, I met a girl in class and she's pretty cool so we chatted then a week ago she told me she has manic depression and tried to commit suicide..I was pretty shocked but I said that I still liked her, she gave me her # and I called it (on same day) but no response..then next day she said she had work and couldn't pick up. That same day she got some other guy to hang out with me and her, and was into him but I knew she likes me too..Then after school I asked if shes going to take the bus she said yea, then after school she changed her mind and decided to take a taxi (rejecting the other guys offer to give her a ride) so I said ok bye but then she offered me a ride with her on the taxi. Then we talked some more except I got sort of stupid and pulled this joke: "you cook and have a job, marry me..just kidding". I found it funny I guess she didn't though. I asked her when she would be free and she just said that she has a lot of work and then when she gets a week off work she's going to do volunteering, so I guess no time for me..Anyway when the cab got to my house I gave her a hug and she just started at me when I left..What's this girls deal? I know I've been moving a little too fast but she still appears to like me..but then whats the deal with the other guy. Could anyone shed any light on this situation?

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smoking weed everyday keeps the doctor away

Seaver

She's manic depressed. I know you like her but I suggest bailing out early. It takes a VERY mature relationship, with a LOT of work and even more headaches and heartaches on behalf of the other in the relationship.

Do you need to deal with this right now? Or could you simply find another cute girl who does not require every minute of your time and still have more than 50% chance of playing craps with your heart by cheating on you at a later date.

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"Smite the rocks with the rod of knowledge, and fountains of unstinted wealth will gush forth." - Ashbel Smith as he laid the first cornerstone of the University of Texas

AfterBurn

nah i don't need that and I already decided not to go through with it..but could one please interpret the siltation to me? she seems to like me but then again, not really..I guess the "i have work and volonteering and never time" sort of shows this right?

__________________
smoking weed everyday keeps the doctor away

Seaver

She likes the attention you can potentially give her, but she is really only interested in the attention the other guy is giving her. She's at least being nice enough to give you blatant signals about it early on.

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"Smite the rocks with the rod of knowledge, and fountains of unstinted wealth will gush forth." - Ashbel Smith as he laid the first cornerstone of the University of Texas

Toaster126

I would advise not starting a romantic relationship with anyone who is having trouble with their relationship with themselves.

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"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

mixedmedia

Good way to put it.

My husband of ten years was diagnosed as bi-polar. Of course, not until after I had left him and, finding himself in a most dire set of circumstances, felt he had no choice but to seek help. He continually denied he had any problem at all while we were together. But I can tell you, it is a living hell to live with someone afflicted with an undiagnosed, untreated case of this illness. There is medication that helps, though. Do you know if she has had a formal diagnosis? Or is she just using the term to describe some of her behavior?

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

AfterBurn

she just said she has manic depression. I asked her today if she was on meds she said no and ran off..I don't think she likes me anymore and said things have gotten weird since she told me about all that stuff.

__________________
smoking weed everyday keeps the doctor away

mixedmedia

Well, of course, I don't know her at all, but from how you describe the situation her running off has probably saved you a lot of trouble. Keep looking. There are good babes out there.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

AfterBurn

I hope so, but school really sucks at the moment because of her, I don't know what it is but seeing her sort of ruins my day a bit...Anyway, is there anyway to tell if a person has bipolar based on small things during the day? I obviously don't spend the whole day with her, but is there anything i can observe that could give me an idea of her craziness?

oh btw she says she doesnt sleep much or eat alot..wtf

__________________
smoking weed everyday keeps the doctor away

mixedmedia

Well, obviously you had some hopes that the relationship would be a positive one for you. Being disappointed is never easy. That will pass.

Does she have intense mood swings? Seeming either moody and depressed or overly happy and excited with very little in between?

Does she exhibit poor judgement and seem to have difficulty in making decisions?

Is she very easily irritated? Does she snap at people for little or no reason?

Does she have overly indulgent behaviors, say with sex or buying things? Does she seem restless and always in need of something to do? One thing that is common among most people with bi-polar disorder is an inability to control their thoughts, and they are constantly looking for distraction, but at the same time nothing keeps them occupied for long.

Eating and sleeping disorders are very common. Especially an inability to sleep.

None of these on their own, or even all of them, are necessarily indicative of bipolar disorder. I'm certainly not trying to diagnose her. I can't stress that enough. Just relaying what I have observed in my experience and confirmed by reading about the disorder. I mean, we all have these tendencies to one extent or another. But those with bipolar disorder just have a slight variance in brain chemistry that makes them behave irrationally very often. Consequently, and interestingly, people who suffer from bipolar disorder are also often very creative people.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

jerseyboy

You really didnt provide a lot of details. I wouldn't try to overanalyze anything. Its hard to figure out what someone is thinking from a few actions. JUst take things at face value.

transient

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder 6 years ago and was hospitalized after a week long manic episode. Untreated persons with this disorder make for poor relationships. My marriage of over 20 years will soon be ending, mainly because the disorder went untreated (unknown to me what it was) until the manic episode. My wife has been through the mill with me, and it's time for us both to move on. The kids are for the most part grown. The hurt in a relationship that can be caused by someone untreated with this is unbelieveable.

I was as guilty as the next person for labeling folks "crazy". Yes, the actions can be crazy like, but the person isn't crazy. As was so well stated earlier, bipolar disorder is a chemical imbalance in the brain and can be treated. It requires no use of alcohol or other illegal drugs that are usually used to "self" medicate. I go for blood level checks every 3 months to make sure my med is doing it's job.

The very first step in dealing with this is education. Lots of it. My wife has been unwilling to accept parts of my past that were hurtful to her. I don't blame her. I'm still in therapy and have hopes for a happy relationship down the road. It will take the right person to live with me, usually someone who is willing to educate themselves.

Regards, T

abaya

Wow, this was an intense story... thank you so much for sharing. I want to ask you so many things, though it may take the topic off track... but oh well, I'll do it anyway.

What happened in those 6 years? I could understand if your wife left you soon after the manic episode, but why did she stick around so long if she was not going to be 100% supportive of your treatment (as it sounds) and stand by you till the end (I assume the divorce is her decision)?

You say that you will need someone who is willing to educate themselves; was your wife unwilling to do this, even after all that time? Why do you think that was the case? Was she willing at first, then unwilling over time, or was it just never in her capabilities to be able to get down in the trenches with you?

Feel free to ignore my questions (or send a PM) if they are too intrusive... but I would be very grateful for insight into what happened, if you are willing.

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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran