timothy4testes

i heard somewhere that you can use butter as lube...has anyone else tried this, im a little scared what if it causes infection on my lady, or perhaps spoils the mood with some sort of demonic cooking smell... tips and suggestions are always welcome

Carno

I would not recommend putting any food down there.

Plus, butter? That just sounds gross.

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Embic

i havent personally used it, but i have a friend that tried, it was for a one night stand so im unsure of the "aftermath" for her, he said it got the job done lol.

Xera

It can very likely cause a yeast infection. There are much better lubes out there.

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james t kirk

Ask Marlon Brando.

JumpinJesus

I think it may have been "if you use heavy cream as a lubricant, you might end up with butter."

Personally, I find that actual lubricants work far better than butter. Not that I've ever used butter, I mean, but I can just imagine.

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Moskie

I prefer to use a non-stick vagina.

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Carno

Yeah, Teflon is the thing of the future. I can't imagine using anything else!

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Embic

lol that made my day

joemc91

Funniest thing I've read in a week!

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analog

Well done. lol

In all seriousness, though... NO. No no no no NO butter. Lube is far cheaper than butter anyway, and does not require refrigeration... and I'm very thankful for that.

Can you imagine slathering refrigerated lube on yourself?

One word: shrinkage.

Philangicality

Try Grape Seed Oil or Extra Virgin Olive Oil.

Kinda hard to get off, but massive lubrication.

It's good for massagess too.

You can warm it in the microwave. Be careful not too hot.

Spread a shower curtain on the bathroom floor, pour some oil on the curtain, and get down and dirty with your lover.

Fun times. Don't slip and fall when done romping.

Daniel_

CONDOM WARNING: Do not use any form of oil or grease as lube if you are using latex condoms.

Oils destroy the cross links in the latex polymer and weaken the condom.

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KellyC

Ahh see, if she has a yeast infection from the butter, you can ask her to bake you some bread and use the remaining butter for the bread. That'll be some good bread I tell ya.

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Willravel

Or you can add salt and make it smell like a movie theater.

Butter is for food. Don't corrupt my butter.

Toaster126

This is almost as bad as the story I heard about ketchup.

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blahblah454

Ketchup?!?!?

Chuckles

how about we throw some mustard on there too? Im sure that'll work....

timothy4testes

condom warning do not use petroleum based lubricants...
butter is made from cream
and latex is not a polymer its a naturally occurring rubber and petroleum will destroy it...DO NOT USE VASOLINE

where in gods name are you buying lube its 10 dollars a bottle here...and butter is 3.49 a stick... as for the slathering refrigerated lube on yourself....i'd think you'd have the common sense to warm it up

World's King

Butter makes anal sex smell like Thanksgiving.

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Charlatan

Just avoid the golden topping...

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noodle

Dairy products? Hmmm... I heard milk does a body good, but let's 86 the butter in the box. That's as bad as the lemon rumor.

/shudder

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Willravel

This round goes to WK. Thanks for playing everyone.

And happy thanksgiving.

Seaver

If you're not mature enough to be a man and buy lube... you're not mature enough to have sex.

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MathGuru

Seaver, I agree with the spirit of your statement... BUT... masturbating does not equal having sex. I wasn't man enough to buy lube when I discovered the wonderful art of masturbation. But yeah, go buy some KY or Astroglide from your local Wal-Mart... use the auto teller if you have to, but honestly the tellers really don't give a rip. =) They are too busy watching the clock to care what the hell you're buying!

Daniel_

The condoms that I am responsible for putting on the market in Europe do say "do not use butter, margerine, baby oil, or petroleum jelly" on the warnings.

Natural latex rubber is a polymer - it's just not a synthetic one. For that matter, cellulose and starch are both polymers too - not all polymers are man-made plastic.

Butter contains fats - fats disrupt the strength of the latex.

To expand what I said above - ALL oils, greases, fats, and solvents will weaken latex.

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╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

World's King

I wish I could take credit for that statement...

The credit has to go to my friend Nick (who actually showed me TFP a lon time ago)... He is one sick fucker...

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noodle

That's the phrase I'm going to use when my bitchy sister slathers the butter on her roll as she whines about me being skinnier than her for the second year in a row... at the dinner table.

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doncalypso

If it's found in the kitchen then don't use it for sex.

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Daniel_

I have to disagree - there's certainly a place for ice cubes in sex play.

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╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

dd3953

that made my day as well, great laugh

now back to the topic at hand: i am no where near a pro when it comes to things like lube (never needed to use it before) but i don't think butter would be the best way to go . . .

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mixedmedia

The butter thing comes from the film Last Tango in Paris and in the film it's a spontaneous act, not a methodically planned attempt to use butter for lubrication. I would think that, given a little while to ponder the situation without a raging hard-on and certain psycho-sexual hangups, even Marlon Brando might have opted for K-Y or its early 1970's equivalent. But sometimes things just get outta hand, ya know?

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Mongolguy

If it isn't spit, It isn't love.

Lucifer

what about chocolate and honey? Didn't you see 9 & 1/2 weeks?

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1123, 6536, 5321

Sue

Butter? Heck no, that's nasty. I would never want my guy using butter on me! Don't ruin your woman's night by breaking out I Can't Believe It's Not Buttah. It'll ruin yours too.

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TexanAvenger

Wait, wait, wait... people try this enough to warrant putting it on the warning label as a prime suspect?

Are people having fantasies about the Land O' Lakes girl and Betty Crocker having crazy sex in a Country Crock container or something?

777

Hmm, butter. On a hot day, would this saute my date?

Personally, I would prefer coconut oil. And I hear that mir works well. Would anyone know where I can get this egyptsian stuff?

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jerseyboy

Yeah butter definitely sounds gross. How would you use it anyway. Just rub the stick over your knob? I def wouldnt want to see a stick of butter being shoved up inside her. What if it breaks off?!!?

Jozrael

Then you'd have to cook on low.

Cynthetiq

you've obviously never had experienced the Aunt Jemima treatment... and that's the fact Jack!

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