high_jinx

I live in L.A. and hints are all we have to go on. There’s no such thing as a female approach. What are some of the hints, both conscious and unconscious… and verbal or non verbal, even body language, that women put out to let a guy know she’s interested in or attracted to them? Thought this would be a fun topic since a guy has to do so much work toward the 1st move.

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-my phobia drowned while i was gettin down.

World's King

If she's naked in your bed with a dildo and a bag of Cheetos... She's interested.

Sorry.

As someone that's in charge around here... I'm gonna ask you to do a search before you posts things like this. All this as been gona over and discussed millions of times. But because I feel like being a smart ass and givin' some advice...


I have no fuckin' clue what women do when they're interested. I know my girlfriend is interested in me now cause she does the dishes and blows me. The girlfriend I had before this one... I just kept her mostly drunk and as long as I was there to buy drinks and giver her a ride home she stayed with me.

Each woman you run into will have her own signals she puts out. So, to say that all women do certain things or to even say that most women fallow a few rules won't work. I've had eveything from a girl tell me that she thought I was so hot she'd let me blow my load in her mom's face to a girl that left unsigned notes on my car telling me about how much fun it would to go shopping with me. I'm pretty sure you can guess which one I went for.

My point is this. If your expecting a half drunk girl at a club to send you signals after knowing you for five minutes and a shot of Jager... you're a fool. You have to spend time with them... get to know their personality first. If you know them... you'll see the signs.


And if you want that one girls number... I don't have it... but I do still have her moms...

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

Seaver

Please do a search, there are tons of threads in here that discuss female nonverbal communication of interest.

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"Smite the rocks with the rod of knowledge, and fountains of unstinted wealth will gush forth." - Ashbel Smith as he laid the first cornerstone of the University of Texas

magictoy

Any threads on how to tell if she has a boyfriend or husband?

Seaver

If she's wearing a ring she's married. As far as boyfriend... just ask.

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"Smite the rocks with the rod of knowledge, and fountains of unstinted wealth will gush forth." - Ashbel Smith as he laid the first cornerstone of the University of Texas

Mantus

Sounds like you are talking about invitation to approach them.

The number ONE signal, and this is crazy, is proximity. If some girls are standing close by (like around 3 feet away at bars, further in low key environments) for no bloody reason at all then they want to be approached. So start paying attention for women who hover around you. They wont stand there forever!



Women will often let you do your "pitch" for self validation. Until you push a boundary in which case she brings it up to end the interaction. The good news is that it allows you a really easy interaction and if play it right...poof, she is attracted to you...at that point use this line:

Boyfriends are wonderful, they give you something to do when I am not around.

paulskinback

smiles combined with playing with their hair when you talk to them/make them laugh. and batting of their eyelids with a sexy "come get me look"

well thats what I move on anyway

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longbough

There's a simple answer is ... it's IMPOSSIBLE to tell.

seriously.

Except for the case where it's obvious, you can't tell. Sometimes a woman will, paradoxically, be more "detatched" and act more oblivious if she's very interested. Sometimes a woman will be flirtatious but not want anything more than friendship (e.g. common in many happily committed women).

So throw all the rules out the window. You have to observe and understand each woman on an individual basis.

But if you're interested don't wait for an invitation. Be proactive and ask her out ... The only thing stopping you might be fear of rejection - but you can quickly learn to get past that. Everybody gets rejected at some point or another.

Toaster126

Guys just get a lot more of it.

EDIT: Also, people, get off the OP's ass. You try doing a search for that topic. I tried using 5 different variations, and I got some stuff not appliciable from recent time, and an assload of stuff last posted in back in 2003. If we are doing something wrong, say that. But I think it's because search is, and has been since the upgrade, fucked up.

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"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

Mantus

Seriously?! Learn to pay attention and you will be able to tell - with quite a bit of ease infact. The proximity signal I talked about sounds pretty vague but if you start paying attention you will see it EVERYWHERE. It's the most common one I go by besides when a girl eyefucks me. Now just because she wants you to approach doesnt mean you are IN. One can still mess up by saying something stuppid and looking like a tool.


Lets talk about a sign often missed and mistaken as a something negative. Everything is going well and then out of bloody nowhere a girl challenge you with something like...
"I bet you've say that to all the girls"
...cant you just hear the gears grinding to a halt?

This is a test guys. Women test men all the time. What you have to realize is that this is GOOD THING. A woman testing you is saying - I am attracted but I just want to make sure you are the real thing. I want to make sure you are not a little whimp who folds at the first sign of trouble.

All you have to do is pass it by not being phased by it. Like with the example above..."yah babe, and I am amazed it still works". You passed it and she now feels more comfortable with you because you are SOLID, you didn't wimp out or try to please her. Why did you pass? Well, you were confident, even cocky because you wernt affraid to agree with it and then you called her on the fact that what you said actually did make her attracted to you.

Another one is: "...I can't believe you cant cook" ...a wimp would start qualifying to her. Instead say "No way! I am looking for girl who'll cook everything for me! I am high maitenance!" You arnt phased by her challenge and you are being funny about it. Passed test.

...argh I am bored of writing about this, let me know if you guys are intrested then I might write more...it's basic flirting though...

Peace

match000

How do you tell when they eye fuck you.


And write more, i'm interested

tecoyah

Be confident....and assume they are ALL interested....worked for me

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Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

Mantus

That is a money attitude to have!

Why look for signs of intrest? Well, because the process is linear. You go from A to B. It helps to know where you are allong the road. Making a move to soon, or more commonly too late, can stifle a perfectly good relationship in the making.


I havent slept in a while...and been working and going out every night...so I am starting to feel like an ADD kid. Let me switch directions for a sec...

Tecoyah's repply leads to one very important thing...yes, this means I am about to ramble on for a paragraph or three...

...allot of guys want these signs because they want to feel safe(r) about approaching a girl. They are afraid of rejection so they want to atleast have a bit of comfort before they go in.The #1 thought that seems to go through the minds of men when they talk to women is whether or not she'll approve of him. Here is the issue...approaval does NOTHING for attraction. A woman can think you are a jerk, bastard or a complete retard and STILL be attracted to you. Supplicating does not create attraction. Being approved of doesnt mean you are "IN" it usually means you are one of the SAFE boys that will make a great friends/emotional tampon.

This is where the whole - women like badboys - stereotype comes from. Badboys don't care about what others think of them, this allows them to keep their eye on whats really important. Nice guys are thinking: how can I gain her approval. While assholes are thinking: what can I say to attract her? This is huge.

Alright...I'll get back to my old train of thought later...now I am going to try to sleep.

Cheers.

JamesB

Just be careful of the cocky and confident schtick. Over done you are just an asshole. Just be confident and the rest will follow. No lie. CONFIDENT.

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Giant Hamburger

Baboons speak the unspoken language of love most fluently.

Just look for the ladies with the big pink heart-shaped pumpion.

Clearly, I am no expert but I hope this helps.

amire

Mantus--

I hear this line of argument all the time. It's relatively prevalent here on the TFP, and many guys at uni believe that this is the way to get girls. And it works a lot of the time.

Here's my main beef with this approach: I seriously doubt that this works for certain types of guys who are looking for certain types of girls. I, for instance, am a shy guy looking for a nice, quiet girl who respects me and loves me for who I am. I'm not looking for a piece of ass.

So here's my question: does this method of acting like the "bad boy" work in ALL circumstances, or does it only work when out at the bar looking for a roll in the hay? I'd really like to know, for I'll need to change my strategies if this is the case.

Thanks.

match000

if you are acting all badass, and if you actually pull it off and not come off as a phony loser, then you will attract the type of girls who like badasses.. most likely not the quiet shy type that you are looking for..

tecoyah

Why be a bad ass....confidence does not an asshole make. There is an Air about people who know their worth...plain and simple. These are the folks who smile at you just because they like to smile, but manage to do so in the "I'm only doing this for you" way that makes you want to be like them. Be that person, seriously, take on the personality as best you can. Nothing stops you from doing so but yourself.

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Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

match000

"I'm only doing this for you"? I think confident people would smile because of their cheeriness or that they don't care nor expect the others to reciprocrate, so they are not afraid to 'give' their smile freely.

Not sure about "I'm only doing this for you". Do you mean to say that confident people make everyone they come in contact with, even strangers who they smile at, feel like they are specially treated (yet not being supplicated to, of course).

tecoyah

Thats exactly what I mean.

__________________
Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

Zeraph

It can be hard but if you can see her face the moment she sees you for the first time you can almost always tell. It's a skill that can only be honed by seeing many different reactions from different people. I'm assuming guys do it to but me liking girls I've never cared to investigate. It's not always a smile, but nearly everyone does something to give away whether they think you're attractive when they first see you.

A good source of practice is to watch those dating reality TV shows, watch the girl's facial reaction when she first sees the guy, then based on that guess whether it will turn out or not. I've gotten to about an 80% success rate.

Mantus

The badass is just an example I gave of a guy who doesn't care about seeking approval from other people. You don't have to be a jerk, you just have to stop thinking about getting on her good side and start pressenting your natural self. The issue here is that you'll be taking a risk. She might not like your lifestyle, your hobbies, your values or you beliefs. On top of that if you are true to yourself you'll have standards and SHE might not meet them. This is where approval seeking guys go wrong; not only do they try to be someone else but they end up betrying their own standars and values in order to accomodate the girl into their world. People can feel when you are being phoney because you come across incongruent.

So how do you approach then? Well ask yourself what you wish from the interaction? Do you wish to have fun? Do you wish to flirt? Do you wish to make a connection? Do you wish to make a friend? Be genuine about your intent. Do do this indirect bullshit of first getting their approval and then being who you are. Just be who you are.

Like with match's smile example. You could be smiling at people because you are having a good time and want to share that experience or perhaps that person actually made you feel good and you want to express that. But if you just smile for the sake of dissarming them, because you actually want something else from them, people will feel that.

Toaster126

Much like shyness and introversion, being confident and being a bad ass have nothing to do with each other.

__________________
"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

match000

arent those things rigged in some way or another. even if its not rigged, the girl might be acting different cuz she's on tv; ie the guy says something retarded that she would normally forgive but on tv she doesnt forgive him, cuz it would make her look too easy or weak

high_jinx

i went away for the wkend feeling like a tool for making this post, then came back and found a bunch of great info. thx to all especially mantus.

again, i live in l.a. and there are so many phony people here... half the girls are phony and the other half have a wall up against all the phony guys.

i guess i feel like theres a window with girls when youre meeting them, where it can go to hooking up and trying each other out. i have no problem being myself and establishing connections, i just think that more often than i'd like to, i miss the window or cause it to close. i just wanted to hear how people pick up on the right timing.

thanks again...this thread is delivering.

__________________
-my phobia drowned while i was gettin down.

Fjandi

I'll not give any sure-fire signs of attraction or interest, but an above post basically said it all about how she will test you and your responses. Men do it too and it's totally an instinctive thing, in fact I've been with a few who test continually on a day to day basis. It appears to be a matter of insecurity... Makes me laugh a little, really. ^ . ^ Be mindful of keeping calm, cool & collective. I know that sounds tacky but it's important not to appear to insistant or obsessive. & Yet you must somehow find a way to receive her emotional output while keeping a balance of receptivity, and actually staying true to who you are. Someone mentioned "Act as if they're all interested" Yes!! This is key -- Regardless of what type of person you may be or who you're looking for, believe you will have the one you fancy most. Confidence (*ahem* in moderation, boys) is always highly attractive as well as it is respectable. = )

SugahBritches

This is interesting and how often have I seen it posted or asked. But, given that it was in the LA area, I thought it a GOOD question!

I've not been to LA nor do I even care to go. However, I have been in San Deigo and those folks don't smile! LOL! So, to me..........it was an legit question on the OP's part.

My daughter told me upon arriving, "Mom, you aren't in North Florida anymore. Don't smile, grin, or be friendly or they will think you a crazy weirdo." I thought she was just joking. When I was at the cash register to check out the cashier was about the rudest person I have ever come across. I looked at the bag girl with the look that said, "What's the deal with her?" The girl smiled (just like she had read my mind) and said, "Welcome to San Deigo." I grinned and said, "WHY THANK YOU!" and then whispered, "You aren't from here are you?" She laughed and said, "Oh no. I'm from Tennessee." And I grinned and said, "Hi neighbor and thanks for the welcome." I looked back at the cashier who looked like she had a corn cob up her butt and said, "Thank you and I hope your day.........and your life looks up for you soon." She had even a more soured look and the Tennessee gal went into fits of laughter.

My daughter only shook her head and said, "Mom, please behave." LOL! I didn't do anything!

Good luck to you high jinx, hopefully you will find a transplant. Heh, heh, heh.

slimshaydee

You'll learn to tell based on experience. The guys who get all the girls know how to read the signs because they are always going for the girls, and they don't give a fuck if they get rejected (and therefore they don't need to make threads like this!). There's signs such as playing with their hair, a very quick raise of the eyebrows and the way she looks at you...but like was said earlier in the thread girls are all different.