My Balls Hurt. Badly.
 

Alright, so this isn't really a problem I've run into before, but I'm really, really hoping there is a quick and easy solution.

I've spent the last couple of days remodeling my father's house, wearing coveralls to help keep my clothing retain some semblance of cleanliness.

However, now I am experiencing... ball chaffing, I think.

I've never really had anyting get chaffed before, and it sucks. In addition, I have no idea how to fix it - so, any suggestions?

A friend of mine and I had a discussion about it and we came up with a ball sweater, but I am not really sure if it's feasible. Regardless, it's pretty funny...

Oh, and I understand that perhaps this should have gone it Health and Fitness, but I'm telling you - if you're balls felt like mine do now, you'd definately want the quickest response possible.

However, if you still feel the need, go ahead and move it :D

Hrm... wash them well with MILD soap (because you have a skin irratation, any fragrance or anything will BURN), and then put on some neosporin to help with healing and also because it won't soak in quickly like lotion and will be soothing for longer.

Wear some breifs or something that will hold them in close and not let them move around (thus getting chafed more). Keep this up and in a few days they'll feel better :)

I can't even begin to tell you how my heart fell when I saw the word days....

I'll give it a try for now - hopefully someone will direct me somewhere to get instant ball healing cream... somewhere that doesn't involve walking....

Dude, try the neosporin. As long as you keep them well coated they should feel MUCH better and not bother you while they're healing :)

Alright, NoSoup has learned several valuable lessions.

1) There is no such thing as mild soap.

2) It is very important to read. Granted, it is three in the morning and it feels as though my balls are about to spontaneously combust, but simply because a tube shaped like neosporin is right where the neosporin should be doesn't necessarily mean it is neosporin.

For future referance, blistex burns like you would not believe.

However, after washing it off and applying neosporin, I would have to say that it hurts less. Although I can't really say it has improved or the initial pain level, I at least appreciate how it currently feels as opposed to having a white hot fire called blistex being applied to my poor baby-makers...

Thanks for the help Sage :D

However, keep the suggestions coming - I'm hoping for some type of magical cure...

If it's of any condolences. This is funny as hell. Ball sweater?! :confused: :lol:

i cringed when i read that. no really good idea on instant ball remedies though.

Do you not wear underwear/boxers? I'm still at a loss of how this even happened....

I asked Dave if he'd ever had this problem he said yes (he wears boxers and has had it happen) he said the only thing that helped him was hyrdrocortisone cream

And, for the future, you can try talc powder when working. It keeps them dry and thus... less chafing.

I hate it for ya dude. Does not sound pleasant... especially the Blistex part :eek:

Other then that, Sage has pretty well gotten it covered. Oh... and speaking of covered... let me know when you get that ball sweater ready for market. I like to camp, and that could be very handy for those cold fall mountain nights ;)

I'd also suggest 1% hydrocortisone cream. The products are usually labeled as anti-itch cream. It should help reduce the irritation in a few days.

i was going to suggest talcum powder, and briefs to cut down on the movement.

Maybe a coffe mug with epsom salts could be rigged up .....

I think they'd feel better if you could get an attractive woman to hold them in her mouth for an hour or so. Would that be fast enough relief?

ok, not sure about an instant cure...but i had a problem with ball chaffing this year when i was training to run a marathon.
tighter underwear and vaseline around the bawbag area before running solved the problem.

there is a similar thing that you get when you work long hours in a kitchen - called 'chef's arse' and vaseline is the cure/prevention for that too!

I wear boxers. I don't really know how it happened either, but I imagine it might have something to do with how HUGE my balls are. :D

I'll pick up some hydrocortizone cream, and see how that works.


On a side note, if you think this is funny, I wish you could have heard our conversation last night. I'll try and remember as best I can....

NoSoup: "Dude, I don't even know how the hell I did it, but I think I chaffed my balls. Have you ever had this happen - and what do you do to fix it?"

Friend: *Giggling like a little girl* "No, I can't say I have. I have no idea how to fix it"

NoSoup: "Well, how do you fix other things that get chaffed?"

Friend: "I have no idea. I can't think of anything else that gets chaffed"

NoSoup: *thinking for a moment*
"Neither can I, but it has to be pretty common or I wouldn't even know what chaffed means.

***A few moments pass by, with us both deep in thought***

NoSoup: "Wait, didn't cowboys wear leather chaps to prevent chaffing?"

Friend: "Yeah! I think so"

NoSoup: "Well, there must have been a few cowboys with chafing before they came up with chaps - what the hell did they do?

Friend: "I dunno, maybe they wore a ball sweater"

NoSoup: "A ball sweater? I kinda doubt that, you'd think we would have heard of ball sweaters before."

Friend: "Maybe it's a trade secret"

Okay... this is to funny not to comment on. I may be going out on a limb here, but i'm gonna bet that the faint sound of a bong could be heard somewhere during this convo...

Oh... you can also try shaving them. that might help.

Chef's arse? are you sure about that? I think it's just an excuse to put vaseline in thier cracks.:rolleyes:

Holy crap... blistex... I almost fell offa my chair when I read that :)

I forgot about the hydrocortisone, which will most likely work well too, as it promotes your skin getting stronger and healing. And the coffee mug with warm water and epsom salt.

If I ever learn to knit I'll start making ball sweaters....

Go to the store and pick up some balmex diaper rash cream. It will work, and make you feel better immediatly. Keep some on hand always, and if you feel the slightest tingle again, apply liberally.

I found gold bond is good for all that. It's really hot and humid where I go to school, and I do a lot of walking in that so during the first few weeks I chafe really bad. Lots of gold bond all over the area. It'll cool it down and dry it all. It's nice.

This name for this condition is "galded." It's very similar to diaper rash.

There is no instant cure. In the future, keep 'em as dry as possible.

brilliant... sheer brillliance! i didn't even know they made stuff like that.

That. Is. Hilarious.
Blistex. HA!
----------------
Being a chick, I can't even say I feel your pain - but you did cheer me up. So thanks for that!

Vaseline and/or Hydrocortisone, and grippies, not boxers. So they don't swing (schwing?) and get rubbed so much.

Ben-Gay/Deep Heat is NOT recommended.

Regular Gold Bond powder would probably encourage your balls to shrink up and recede towards your bellybutton in horror if they're already chafed. Gold Bond Baby Powder works wonders, then switch to the regular after they're healed. I chafed the underside of my boobs once, so I can sorta feel your pain.

Vaseline will also hold the sweat in and moisture out, so be careful with that... there's no "breathing" of the skin. Any of the Bag Balms, Butt Balms, diaper rash creams, Aveeno products and calendula ointments will heal chapped and chafed skin rather quickly, too.

NoSoup, (picking myself off the floor from errr..."sympathy") listen to cookmo because she knows what she is talking about.

Or, you could try "Monkey Butt" for that fresh, dry feeling. You might find that topic somewhere among the ruins that we call "search."

I'm really, really not laughing about your plight. Really. Sorta, kinda. Ah, crap... :lol:

Gee everyone, thanks for all your.... "sympathy" :lol:

I tried the Vasoline - that was an interesting experience, to say the least. My balls have certainly never felt quite so... I don't even know what word to use. Lubricated? Slippery? At any rate, I applied it rather liberally (It was probably 1/4 inch thick by the time I was done) and it felt really, really, really nasty after I took like 3 steps. I've never had my balls stick to my leg before, or had something that resembled ball shaped skid marks in the front of my underwear before.

So, after washing that off, I went out and bought some stuff for a baby's ass. Let me tell you, those little buggers get all the luxuries. My balls feel much, much better. Although there is still slight discomfort, it no longer feels like hell is actually located on my sack.

Thanks for the suggestions guys, myself - and my future children - definately appreciate it :D

As a side note, i agree with the above, that some nice Gold Bond Medicated *under normal conditions, not already chaffed* is the best thing for a ballsack and asscrack after a shower on a hot day. It brings this fantastic cool feeling to the area, almost like a minty cool feeling. Keeps things more dry throughout the day. Once you try it... you'll make the switch.

As a second side note, avoid the gold bond if you think a person will have their mouth on your balls in the near future.

dude... i totally feel for your plight, but i must say that those are some of the funniest descriptions i have ever read. i just gotta laugh at "it no longer feels like hell is actually located on my sack" sorry... i can't help it. that just farking hilarious.

the allusion... not hell on your sack, mind you.

OMG, I haven't offered so much out-loud "sympathy" all week!

Glad to hear things are better though.

Blistex. OMFG. *weeps with sympathy* *rolls on the floor with sympathy*
:lol:

at least it wasnt something icy hot

Kudos to the diaper rash cream suggestion, as well as the breifs rather than boxers. Also agree with the talc when they're healed, but most of all, thanks for the first out loud laugh I've seen all day, and sorry that it hurts, because I'm sure it sucks.

Good News Everyone!

NoSoup > Ball Chafing

That's right, my symptoms have seemed to be gone, they'll probably be back soon, as the next two days are going to be grueling.

However, I feel pretty good with the medication I have now, and there isn't an ounce of blistex in my house anymore, as the garbage went out today.

Thanks again for all your help, and I'm glad my horrendous pain and suffering brought a smile to some of your faces :D

Holy crap. This several years old thread saved my balls...literally. I hopped out and bought some diaper rash cream, and MAN what a relief!

better options have already been suggested... but I have to post it...

http://www.thepanier.com/shop/catalo...s/Bag_Balm.jpg

Like others, I realize this is an old thread, but I thought I would just throw out there that some guys use Goldbold medicated powder instead of talc. I do not suggest using it if you are already chafed, it has an "icy/hot"ness to it, and could sting. Also, some people don't like this sensation. If you try washing it off, be warned that getting it damp will it make it worse, until it is washed off.

Ajax/comet cleanser is not a suitable substitute for Goldbond.